Better than everyone else.

[Ronaldo7]

I have a very complex situation going on.

I have a very strong character and an unshakable self-confidence. I dress the way i want, do what i want, and have everything my way. I think of friends as short-term support to help you reach whatever you need to get done. However, i know a lot of people and have many friends, but very few of them are girls. When i go out to the club, i dress very formal and better than everyone else. I always wear a suit and a tie, while my friends wear very casual clothing. I know i'm better than everyone. I know where i'm going, what i'm doing, and when i'll get it. Most of my friends don't and i feel they are jealous of me when we go out. They seem to always want to know what i'm doing, why i'm doing it, and everything to it. I take very, very good care of my image and everyone notices when i step into the room. A lot of girls obviously give me looks and smile my way. I love for them to look at me when they think i'm not looking and for me to catch them in the act. Those looks just scream "I think you are incredibly attractive and i want you to approach me" and it maintains my ego at such a high level. I want a woman that can match my high level of confidence and i feel she should i approach me. I also feel that i'm better dressed and it would not look appropriate for the better dressed person to approach. If she doesn't have the confidence to approach me, it shows that she can't handle what i bring. I'm 6 ft 1 and 18, by the way. I also keep myself very, very fit by going religiously to the gym 4 days a week, which simply adds to my already high degree of attraction.

The problem: I find that my friends don't want to come out as much with me now since they think i destroy the vibe. I don't approach girls for the reasons stated above and they don't understand why i would get all dressed up and not approach any girls. Ironically, i also want to approach some girls that i am interested in, but i feel the way i'm dressed and the way i am holds me back from it. Girls look at me so much and the ones that have been confident enough to come up to me tell me that i am so attractive and handsome. Other random girls just tell me that if i looked more approachable, which I've been told i'm not, that i would get girls by the dozen. They ask why i look so arrogant and ****y and why i'm not dancing or moving. Last Saturday, i got 4-5 looks from so many girls and girls just standing in front of me just waiting for me to talk to them, as well as girls dancing behind me. I think its my ego vs letting myself be approached and approaching girls.

Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[dangdang]

Seem still scared. Drop the facad. What are you afraid of?

 

[twentee]

u sound like a REAL ahole to me.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Scared? I don't follow. I'm not afraid of anything and i don't understand what you mean by "drop the facad".

@Twentee: How so? I'm curious to why you would say that. I hear it from a lot of people that seem jealous of me, but what leads you to say that?

 

[foreverAFC]

none of the trolls on these forums are even slightly entertaining

 

[Fly By Night]

none of the trolls on these forums are even slightly entertaining

I like to assume the OP is being serious.

Women approach you by making it as easy as possible for you to approach them. You will eventually get the girl that approaches you first, but you are cutting yourself from a large amount of women. The gunwitch method says that your success with women is your attractiveness + effort. You are attractive, but you are putting hardly any effort into approaching women.

But I have no idea why you joined this forum. Just approach. I see no problem here. You are just stroking your ego in our faces if your story is true.

Imagine that, "I want a girl who is confident to approach me, but none of them are, even though I know that they want me. I need online help even though I ALREADY KNOW why they won't approach me!"

 

[BadNews]

Nobody is jealous of your ego kid - don't mistake your friend's annoyance for jealousy. There is also a difference between confidence and arrogance. You sound like an arrogant little prick. Likely an only child if I had to guess - coddled from the time you were young, right up until the time you wrote this joke of a post (I actually laughed out loud as I read this.)

I would suggest the only way to fix your "complex situation" would be a reality check. Either that or a shrink. You will have a fruitless life with an attitude such as this. Good luck.

 

[Down Low]

I dunno, foreverAFC. I think a useful point could be made.

...some girls that i am interested in . . . the ones that have been confident enough...

You're employing the wrong pronoun. Not "that." "Who."

"That" refers to a nonhuman thing. "Who" refers to a person.

So why did I bother correcting a common mistake? Isn't it rude of me to pick at someone's English? I suppose so, but as long as you're asking for help, I did it to illustrate a point. No matter how high is your self-esteem, there's always someone else who estimates your value according to a higher standard than you are aware of.

Only a low-class pretender goes around wearing suits all the time. Do yourself a favor and get some blazers and khakis. Or in the winter, corduroy and sweaters. Tough guys are always struggling to mute their rough masculinity with thin belts, small-faced watches, not owning any gangsterish pinstripes, and generally, by not having the volume at 100% all the time. Tone down, and you'll be more approachable.

BTW, a man's lucky if he has one or two real friends in a lifetime. Go around sh1tting on acquaintances, treat them as support systems, and you'll never have any real friends. No man of substance is going to befriend a user.

 

[Ronaldo7]

I like to assume the OP is being serious.

Women approach you by making it as easy as possible for you to approach them. You will eventually get the girl that approaches you first, but you are cutting yourself from a large amount of women. The gunwitch method says that your success with women is your attractiveness + effort. You are attractive, but you are putting hardly any effort into approaching women.

But I have no idea why you joined this forum. Just approach. I see no problem here. You are just stroking your ego in our faces if your story is true.

Imagine that, "I want a girl who is confident to approach me, but none of them are, even though I know that they want me. I need online help even though I ALREADY KNOW why they won't approach me!"

I am very serious about this.

Everyone around me thinks "My head is too far up in the clouds to hear any sort of advice that is obvious". I simply want some advice on this. It may look like i already know, but i really don't. People think that the only way i would notice a girl is interested in me is if she came up to me because " i am too full of myself to notice anyone else around me".

I've never had to approach. They have always came towards me. I do need help and i don't know why they won't approach me. I just think if she was confident in herself she would come up to me.


@BadNews: How can it be annoyance? I am my own person and don't follow them. I do my own thing and they do their own when we get to the club. I don't interfere with them at all, at least i think i don't. I am not arrogant, i am confident. I am sorry if i sound like an arrogant prick to you. However, i am just trying to get clarification on this topic. What would you mean by a reality check?


@DownLow: I speak 4 languages. I'm simply trying to get help on this to be worried about a pronoun when i have translate everything through 3 languages first.

I only wear suits to the club. I like to dress very formal when i am out in a very public place like a club. You are exposed to everyone in this atmosphere and i always like to look flawless. I don't wear suits during the day, if that is what you are referring to.

However, you make an interesting point when you say tone down. Recently, one of my acquaintances at the club inquired as to why i always dressed "that way". I asked him why the question and he said that i looked "very intimidating". Tone down as in how? My wardrobe? I also get told by everyone that i have a very ****y demeanor and the way i look at people as if they are under me.

I treat friends like chess. Life is a chess game. I have one true friend, whom i consider my best friend, but he has changed. He is backing down because he has a problem with the way people view me, even though i could care less what anyone has to say. Since other people think i destroy the mood/vibe, he is going with them and leaving me behind, which is really his loss. I have no problem going to the club by myself, while others need a whole group because they are so insecure about themselves.

 

[Crazystarf]

Nobody is jealous of your ego kid - don't mistake your friend's annoyance for jealousy. There is also a difference between confidence and arrogance. You sound like an arrogant little prick. Likely an only child if I had to guess - coddled from the time you were young, right up until the time you wrote this joke of a post (I actually laughed out loud as I read this.)

I would suggest the only way to fix your "complex situation" would be a reality check. Either that or a shrink. You will have a fruitless life with an attitude such as this. Good luck.

"Arrogance can turn into confidence, only if you can back it up."

@OP: To keep this simple, the main point about game and relationships in general is that women are NOT likely to approach you as much as you are likely to approach them. This means that you must go towards her and initiate the conversation; the other way is not likely to work.

Are you a metro by the way?

 

[captain A]

Ok.
First of all, If you aren't just trolling then you probably have Asperger's syndrome, a more serious mental illness or parents who don't genuinely care about you but have a lot of money to throw at you, which would explain the key root of your problem: Confidence.

You don't really have it. If you did, you wouldn't be wearing suits to a club(but you aren't going to real "clubs" because you are 18...if you have to ask why that makes sense, then you really are trolling). If you had confidence you wouldn't need the crutch of a suit and tie. You would know how to dress sharp while still being appropriate for the occasion.

If you had confidence you wouldn't demand that women approach you, you would know how to talk to women and know how to get what you want and go out and do it.

If you had confidence you would know that you are a man and women want men who can act like a man and approach them.

If you had confidence then your friends would not be leaving you behind. They would WANT TO BE AROUND YOU to learn from you. But as you said, your friends think you destroy the vibe and they don't want to go out with you anymore. Men of real confidence are leaders and people naturally follow. They don't walk away in droves.

If you had confidence you wouldn't need to point out that you speak four languages, go to the gym four times a week or that you are "better" than those around you. You would already know these things and not need to prove it to anyone....especially people online. You would simply state that you are a young man with a keen sense of style, an excellent physique and well educated.

Hell, if you had confidence you could probably even get away with dressing the way you claim to and still have women approaching you or complimenting you. All it would take is for you to let them catch you catch them looking at you and give a simple smile back to let them know you're down.

But you don't have confidence. What you have is the image of what you THINK confidence is. You also don't have experience. A suit and tie on an 18 year old says a lot about him....but it doesn't scream "i'm a success". It screams that your parents have money, you're trying too hard and that you are so ashamed of your personality that you have to remove yourself so far from your peers that you are unapproachable.....and therefore won't run the risk of anyone finding out that you are still a child inside. It tells women that you are willing to blow money in order to impress people....and most women have already been told by their parents that young men who are into blowing money are not very intelligent men.

Go the main discussion page and read the DJ bible...it will guide you in the right direction for now.

oh...and happy trolling.

 

[Down Low]

@DownLow: I speak 4 languages.

Americans aren't impressed that foreigners speak foreign languages. If those other languages were so valuable, I'd be addressing you, in your forum of choice, in your native tongue. So stop trying to punk me about how not being a native speaker of English is your strength and my handicap.

I'm simply trying to get help on this to be worried about a pronoun when i have translate everything through 3 languages first.

Excuses? I didn't ask for excuses. You failed a test. Period. Your English is inferior, not superior. You speak English like a low-class pretender.

I only wear suits to the club. I like to dress very formal when i am out in a very public place like a club. You are exposed to everyone in this atmosphere and i always like to look flawless. I don't wear suits during the day, if that is what you are referring to.

What do you mean by "suit?" Any jacket and pants made of the same material is a "suit." I suspect you mean a business suit, such as the current fad outfits of charcoal grey with pinstripes, or dark navy with pinstripes. A proper business suit is medium grey, to match the temperament of the man who takes such a mediocre role in life. The business suit is a warning to all gentlemen to avoid association with this lowbrow moneygrubber.

Well, a business suit is worn to the business office. Some men wear business suits to court and to church -- although they are not dressy enough for high mass. No man puts on a business suit before heading to the club. In fact, a man should change out of his day clothes and into proper evening wear for a formal dinner and evening out. That means a white dinner jacket and a black jacket such as a tuxedo. But of course, you didn't know that, because you've never been to a real club.

The kind of club you're talking about is for the no-good sons of lowbrow moneygrubbers. They wear "club shirts" not intended to be tucked into their trashy jeans. You, too, should wear no jacket but only a "club shirt" so you can attract the loud, obnoxious slvtty daughters of lowbrow moneygrubbers.

I don't go out to bars much anymore, but when I do, I wear casual attire and not a business suit.

However, you make an interesting point when you say tone down. Recently, one of my acquaintances at the club inquired as to why i always dressed "that way". I asked him why the question and he said that i looked "very intimidating". Tone down as in how? My wardrobe? I also get told by everyone that i have a very ****y demeanor and the way i look at people as if they are under me.

I treat friends like chess. Life is a chess game.

No doubt your associates are also teenage boys. No adult man is going to feel intimidated by the presence of another man. He certainly isn't intimidated by a teenage boy.

Only someone who has never lived would compare life to some silly board game. You're a child who has a lot of growing up to do.

 

[ScottMustaine]

He stated his ego is big and how he feeds it with girls watching him.

He now wants us to watch him and comment him how he is this or that.

Male version of an Attention WH0RE. Could indicate BPD.


Not to mention he is actually not confident but simply egoistic.

He wouldn't need help if he is actually confident that much as he states.

 

[perseverance]

I didn't realise Cristiano Ronaldo was having relationship problems?

The difference between you and the real Cristiano Ronaldo is that Cristiano is a successful footballer, a multi-millionaire and will never, ever have relationship troubles with any woman and if he does encounter a slight technical glitch, he'll simply find another woman.

It's not for me to say that you're a troll who lives under a bridge, but I will say that your post reeks of someone with no confidence and a low self-esteem. There's no way in a million years that you're confident. For starters someone who is genuinely confident does need to boast, nor brag and he certainly doesn't walk around with a delusional attitude which screams 'I'm so much better than anyone else'.

If I knew a fella like you, I'd avoid you like the bubonic plague.

 

[Ronaldo7]

"Arrogance can turn into confidence, only if you can back it up."

@OP: To keep this simple, the main point about game and relationships in general is that women are NOT likely to approach you as much as you are likely to approach them. This means that you must go towards her and initiate the conversation; the other way is not likely to work.

Are you a metro by the way?

I am really not trolling. It may seem like it, but i really do want help, even if it may not seem like it.

I think i'm just confident. I know what i'm doing with my life, which is something not many people can boast about.

In everyone's mind it would be pretty obvious that the guy approaches the girl. However, in my mind it isn't. I was always told that i was better than everyone else and to show it.

I think my problem relies on its my ego vs being vulnerable by approaching a girl. It would basically mean "stepping down from the clouds" as referred to by my friends.

@Captain A: Once again, i'm not trolling at all. I do have money to "blow", but that doesn't mean i wasted it as you say.

I go to a "real" club. It is a bona fide nightclub. I know the bouncers and the manager.

However, everyone mentions that i dress better than my friends. At least 2 people compliment me on the way i'm dressed. There's even dudes that come up to me and ask me where do i get my stuff to always look like that.

"If you had confidence you wouldn't demand that women approach you, you would know how to talk to women and know how to get what you want and go out and do it."

"If you had confidence you would know that you are a man and women want men who can act like a man and approach them."

As much as i'm always right about everything, you are right on this. My best friend has always said those 2 statements to me. How can i approach them then? The thing is that i'll probably come off as very arrogant or ****y and its going to be my ego vs approaching them.

I don't smile back to women who look at me, i smile at myself. Why? Because when they look at me, it inflates my ego even more than it already is. I love the idea that they look at me so much and i know it. It serves testament to how attractive i am to them.

I would think i am pretty successful so far. I've achieved countless things for my age. Honestly, i love the formal look to go out. It embodies who i am a lot. I don't "blow" money on women at all. I don't even drink or smoke. By the way, what is the DJ bible?

@DownLow: I'm guessing you only speak 1 language. You should take a look at the world today and tell me that the fact that i speak 4 languages is my strength and it is your handicap. Don't be so narrow-minded.

You have me figured out all wrong. When i mean a suit, i'm talking about a business suit. That consists of dress pants, a formal tie, a long-sleeve collar shirt, and dress shoes. If other people wear "club shirts", why would i care? Everyone thinks i'm well dressed and they think those other people look like homeless druggies.

My associates are all older than me. 21,23,25,31. The thing is that i don't appear my age. I'm taller than all of them and completely overshadow them in that aspect.

@Scott: Once again, i do want help, even it seems otherwise.

@Perseverance: You do realize it is simply a username, right? I boast, brag, and walk around like that because i can show for all of those things.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I'm going to give it to you straight. There is a difference between being confident and being delusional. You seem to be more of the latter. Well, perhaps delusional is a bit of a strong word, but you definitely lack social calibration. Wearing a suit & tie to a club only works for the very upscale clubs that cater to the mature crowd. You are not even old enough to drink legally, and I'm guessing that the clubs/bars you go to are typical college student hangouts. Sure, you attract attention with your outfit but so would a guy wearing an orange jumpsuit. You attract attention because you look out of place, not because all the girls are so smitten by you. Your stand-offish attitude doesn't help either.

You claim to be well dressed but what does that mean? Just because you wear a suit and tie does not automatically make you well dressed. I bet it's not even a nice italian suit but something you bought at a department store. Being well dressed means looking stylish and at the same time appropriate for the occasion. Wearing a suit to a college bar makes about as much sense as wearing track pants to a funeral.

 

[Plutoman]

I'd recommend seeking help. I'm dead serious on this - a psychologist could do you wonders of good if you find a good one to help you on your issues. It will dramatically improve your social life.

Confidence is not bragging, boasting, and then backing it up. That is arrogance. Confidence is much more subtle, and it is in how you carry yourself; you feel the need to prove yourself right now, and that is why you are not confident.

http://marietta-psychologist.blogspot.com/2012/03/difference-between-confidence-and.html

Give that a read. What you are IS arrogant. You are not confident.

Just scanning and picking out this quote;

However, everyone mentions that i dress better than my friends.

Right there is why you are arrogant. You are basing your self-worth upon comparisons to your friends.

I want to ask you to consider this - if someone is humble, and does not feel the need to tell you their accomplishments - does that mean they are not confident? If you met a man off the streets, and he had a quick intellect, was friendly, outgoing, who knew what he wanted in life, and worked hard to get it - you may call him confident, correct? Obviously the scene is contextual, but let's assume body language agrees with the hypothetical situation.

Now take that same man, but he's also made sure to point out to you that he's the CEO of a company, has 3 ferrari's, a porsche, a lamborghini, and a harem of 3 sexy women. Would that come across as confident? The boastfulness? Is he any more or less confident than the first situation?

 

[j0504s]

egomaniac with an inferiority complex thats how it sounds to me. You seem not to get your value and self whorth with in, more of from your act you put up...the effort you make to keep this up seems tiring and stressful when u can be using this energy in other aspects in life or maybe even actually speaking to a women. Honestly im not trying to be mean but caring so so so much about your apperence and wanting to be approached sounds pretty self concious to me...idk if people agree. you should look deep inside buddy.

 

[Ronaldo7]

I'm going to give it to you straight. There is a difference between being confident and being delusional. You seem to be more of the latter. Well, perhaps delusional is a bit of a strong word, but you definitely lack social calibration. Wearing a suit & tie to a club only works for the very upscale clubs that cater to the mature crowd. You are not even old enough to drink legally, and I'm guessing that the clubs/bars you go to are typical college student hangouts. Sure, you attract attention with your outfit but so would a guy wearing an orange jumpsuit. You attract attention because you look out of place, not because all the girls are so smitten by you. Your stand-offish attitude doesn't help either.

You claim to be well dressed but what does that mean? Just because you wear a suit and tie does not automatically make you well dressed. I bet it's not even a nice italian suit but something you bought at a department store. Being well dressed means looking stylish and at the same time appropriate for the occasion. Wearing a suit to a college bar makes about as much sense as wearing track pants to a funeral.

The club i go to is 23 and older. I don't appear to be 18. I can easily go for 23, which is why i fit into that crowd. I don't have any desire to drink. I go to the gym for a reason and it is definitely not for it to go to waste consuming alcohol. Social calibration? Hmm. Maybe. But then again i've never had any care about others surrounding me, just myself.

When i mean well dressed, i mean like i have people come out of their way just to let me know that i am very well dressed. No one disputes that. They dispute that i don't approach women, that i'm unapproachable, and that i am "arrogant". I wouldn't wear anything that isn't nice and i'd never buy anything at a department store. I bought a couple of suits at Armani and had them tailored. When i mean well dressed, people turn their heads to see who i am. An outfit is all about how you contrast and combine it. I could be wearing a million dollar suit, but if i couldn't combine it with the pants, tie, and the shoes, it would be pretty useless. That reason is why everyone tells me i dress so outstanding.

@Pluto: What is wrong with being arrogant when approaching others or women? Different people react different, right?

That is something other people say though. I'm just explaining what they say.

@j05: It's not that i want to be approached. It's more like the attention they give me. I wouldn't be here asking this if no woman ever turned to look at me. What would be the point? The thing is that they DO turn and look at me.

 

[perseverance]

@Perseverance: You do realize it is simply a username, right? I boast, brag, and walk around like that because i can show for all of those things.

Is it really? Sorry, I didn't realise I assumed you were Cristiano Ronaldo!

You can show for all what things? There is never any need, no matter who you are to walk around with your head so firmly inserted into your rectum.

Humility is a trait to be admired, not arrogance, that's not a good trait, that's the trait of an insecure person.

Bokanovsky sums up matters even better than I can.