Is male depression mostly linked to lack of female companionship?

[Gamisch]

Sometimes I will come across a couple where a very average looking guy will have a cute chick and I'll be like wtf

But then in 2022 when I was dating a HB8 for a while someone could have thought the same about me

Its all abstract

I wouldn't say i's the main cause of male depression ......being directionless and aimless is

When a man retreats within himself and starts doubting himself thats when the problems start

If your improving yourself every day , being uncomfortable and putting yourself out there life will get better

I keep reminding myself it literally takes one chance encounter with a woman who's keen on you and everything changes immediately

No way can a situation like that be the main cause of depression

Spot on. Luck happens when opportunity meets preparation . In chess we say that the better player is somehow always lucky..

Ironically enough the same men who are now complaining because they have no women/woman , will be the same who'll complain about not being able to control a woman once they get one.

You might go from zero to three women and suddenly you're bytching about all the time ,money and energy you are spending.

Most men get opportunities on a daily, they just are never prepared. If a man * @corrector * starts working out today, he might have a sixpack next year. That's no coincidence or luck, its effort and energy that gets rewarded.

You gotta walk around with an attitude that is akin to the God complex; any woman interested shall be saluted for having a great taste, while simultaneously it wont be a surprise to you because again, you are working on yourself day in and out.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Or he could be trolling. However, the incels on here, including myself do have financial challenges and are really poorcels.

For example, no incel on here looks like they have resources or a decently paying job. If you take @needimprovement250, he is doing DoorDash. He complains he has no experience, and there is a catch-22, but we don't talk about the Elephant in the Room, and that he's doing DoorDash and is poor, and if he won the lottery and was a millionaire, do you think women would reject him on inexperience? The other incel that posts here (aside from myself) sounds poor too. If most of my time wasn't siphoned off on a low-paying job and taking care of my parents with any free time I have then I probably wouldn't be that incel myself. Even a visit to any GYM is a luxury of time. If you have no free time and no money (ie what little money you make is just paying bills) then I don't think any other cover excuse is to blame (ie inexperience).

Only one of my incel freinds/acquaintances is poor.

 

[Mike32ct]

Only one of my incel freinds/acquaintances is poor.

How are their social/communication skills?

 

[Gamisch]

If you lack selfworth and self respect, you won't feel the need to work on yourself.

But I'd even say that a lotta incels are too selfish to make themselves as " feckable as possible " for their possible future partner .

I once read a reddit comment from a woman that was spot on; in ( Miami?) YOU as a man cannot afford to NOT hit the gym.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

How are their social/communication skills?

it varies. Mostly poor. But a few are pretty decent.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If you lack selfworth and self respect, you won't feel the need to work on yourself.

But I'd even say that a lotta incels are too selfish to make themselves as " feckable as possible " for their possible future partner .

I once read a reddit comment from a woman that was spot on; in ( Miami?) YOU as a man cannot afford to NOT hit the gym.

My Hapacel friend lost a lot of weight recently (he’s been excercising). Unfortunetly. I think he over did it. He’s about 3-4” taller, but we now weigh about the same. He does look a bit better. I asked him how he weighs as much as me, but he’s taller. He said ‘you’re more muscular.’. He needs to put muscle on.

 

[MatureDJ]

My Hapacel friend lost a lot of weight recently (he’s been excercising). Unfortunetly. I think he over did it. He’s about 3-4” taller, but we now weigh about the same. He does look a bit better. I asked him how he weighs as much as me, but he’s taller. He said ‘you’re more muscular.’. He needs to put muscle on.

Did he do leg-lengthening?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Did he do leg-lengthening?

no.

 

[needimprovement250]

If you take @needimprovement250, he is doing DoorDash. He complains he has no experience, and there is a catch-22, but we don't talk about the Elephant in the Room, and that he's doing DoorDash and is poor, and if he won the lottery and was a millionaire, do you think women would reject him on inexperience?

That is a valid point, however I don’t consider myself an incel because I don’t agree with what the incel community believes in. A perfect example of why I don’t consider myself an incel is the one that I’ve posted about here on the forum. He was known as Marshall Mathers the 4th before YouTube terminated his channel and has since come back with the name change DarthNihilus. He has some very delusional beliefs and even quit his first ever job as a fry cook at Popeyes that he didn’t get until his mid 20’s just because he found out a girl he worked with and thought was cute had a bf. He also dropped out of high school during freshman year because he didn’t have a gf.

I have heard before that women don’t care as much about the lack of experience if the guy has made up for it in other ways such as a high income as you describe, or it could also be a nice place of his own to live and an exciting social life. But if a guy is inexperienced and in my situation of being low income, living with his parents, and having no social circle in his 30’s, a lot of women are gonna see him as a complete and total loser and will write him off since they know it won’t be too hard for them to find someone better than a guy like me. That’s why I asked before if it would be better if I at least move out of my parents house and launch a career before jumping into dating, but didn’t get an answer from anyone. I haven’t been doing DoorDash as of lately though since the event center that I do a series of seasonal jobs at has begun their work season, so I’ve been doing that instead.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Now for a completely different angle:

I’m someone who has a good share of female companions, I have spun as many as 6 chicks. Currently spinning 3, but spend time with them in a 40/40/20 split. Scheduling can be a challenge and there are times when scheduling doesn’t pan out and I spend a day without female companionship, more so now that I only have three on the roster.

I can say that when it happens I feel off, I don’t think it’s classic depression that I feel, more like something missing, but it is depressing. I realize that many would consider having company daily abundance and that I should count my blessings, and I do so I’m not quite as bummed when alone anymore.

Many would say that one should not make getting laid a priority, but I’m in my 50’s and realize that I probably can only do this at this level for another decade, I’m fit and healthy and fun and expect to continue to be for a good while, so why not enjoy it. Women bring me genuine pleasure and comfort as vexing as they can be sometimes.

Anyway depression no, a big bummer? Yes.

The ones that reply negatively to this post whatever the negativity is are simply haters, and we know they gunna hate. Truth is they are not motivated by the same things I am and/or cannot do what I’m doing. And two are solid 8’s and the third a 7, all are younger than me, and vivacious with little fuss or muss and they’re plenty desirable so the argument that I’m banging warthogs is incorrect.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I can say that when it happens I feel off, I don’t think it’s classic depression that I feel, more like something missing, but it is depressing. I realize that many would consider having company daily abundance and that I should count my blessings, and I do so I’m not quite as bummed when alone anymore.

I'm doing pretty much what you're doing, maybe I use a different terminology, but I also have three lovers who all want to be with me all the time and I actively block their access because I need to be by myself more than the average guy.

I'm looking forward to the time when my kids move out to live on their own, so I can be even more alone in the house. I used to be married to the mother of my kids and her constant presence in the house was sometimes a burden to me.

I feel better now that I can tell my lovers they have to go because I need to be by myself for a few days. I actually get 'down' when I don't get some time alone.

 

[Gamisch]

. But if a guy is inexperienced and in my situation of
being low income,
living with his parents,
and having no social circle in his 30’s,
a lot of women are gonna see him as a complete and total loser and will write him off since they know it won’t be too hard for them to find someone better than a guy like me. That’s why I asked before if it would be better if I at least move out of my parents house and launch a career before jumping into dating, but didn’t get an answer from anyone. I haven’t been doing DoorDash as of lately though since the event center that I do a series of seasonal jobs at has begun their work season, so I’ve been doing that instead.

But what would you expect otherwise? One of those can be fatal. This is like giving yourself a lifelong sentence times three.


I get a lot of " teenage boy" vibes from this. Hey ,salute to you , you don't pay rent. So I geuss you are stacking paper to the ceiling T least???

This proves my point about how incels are ALWAYS family oriented as F. You enjoy the safety and comfort of living with your parents at mid30 , and the downside is your development as a man stays behind. Thatd called a CHOICE.

 

[corrector]

But what would you expect otherwise? One of those can be fatal. This is like giving yourself a lifelong sentence times three.


I get a lot of " teenage boy" vibes from this. Hey ,salute to you , you don't pay rent. So I geuss you are stacking paper to the ceiling T least???

This proves my point about how incels are ALWAYS family oriented as F. You enjoy the safety and comfort of living with your parents at mid30 , and the downside is your development as a man stays behind. Thatd called a CHOICE.

He's not going to stack paper doing Door Dash. He's made a choice not to be homeless and live on the streets by staying with his parents. Are you saying he would be better off with women if he was homeless and living on the streets?

I point out that @characternote has specifically referenced bringing people inside his house as well as other posters on here who are killing it on the apps (he can correct me if I'm mistaking him with another poster).

 

[corrector]

I can say that when it happens I feel off,

Yeah, the same feeling when I don't drink coffee on a caffine-break day. It's called withdrawal symptoms as you are not getting the same dopamine fix.

 

[Gamisch]

He's not going to stack paper doing Door Dash. He's made a choice not to be homeless and live on the streets by staying with his parents. Are you saying he would be better off with women if he was homeless and living on the streets?

I point out that @characternote has specifically referenced bringing people inside his house as well as other posters on here who are killing it on the apps (he can correct me if I'm mistaking him with another poster).

I looked it up. The worst door dashers making approximately 50 bucks a day. Times 4 = 250 = 1000 a month. Assuming he has some expenses he should still be able to save like 300 bucks a month. That's 3600 a year.

But I've also seen people talking about making a 100/150 a day. So that would triple the amount of money he can save.

The man is 36. Why doesn't he get a normal steady job? He claims to wanna be " that guy" that women want. He can spend his time learning a skill and plow in some good cash while still having the luxury of living at home...that should be a blessing.

 

[Rainrain]

Now for a completely different angle:

I’m someone who has a good share of female companions, I have spun as many as 6 chicks. Currently spinning 3, but spend time with them in a 40/40/20 split. Scheduling can be a challenge and there are times when scheduling doesn’t pan out and I spend a day without female companionship, more so now that I only have three on the roster.

I can say that when it happens I feel off, I don’t think it’s classic depression that I feel, more like something missing, but it is depressing. I realize that many would consider having company daily abundance and that I should count my blessings, and I do so I’m not quite as bummed when alone anymore.

Many would say that one should not make getting laid a priority, but I’m in my 50’s and realize that I probably can only do this at this level for another decade, I’m fit and healthy and fun and expect to continue to be for a good while, so why not enjoy it. Women bring me genuine pleasure and comfort as vexing as they can be sometimes.

Anyway depression no, a big bummer? Yes.

The ones that reply negatively to this post whatever the negativity is are simply haters, and we know they gunna hate. Truth is they are not motivated by the same things I am and/or cannot do what I’m doing. And two are solid 8’s and the third a 7, all are younger than me, and vivacious with little fuss or muss and they’re plenty desirable so the argument that I’m banging warthogs is incorrect.

Was it a bummer because you felt “rejected” or just that you didn’t have companionship for the night? Like having nothing to do that night?

I had a friend back in the day where he was also talking to 3 girlfriends of some sort. I am not sure if he felt down but there were times like his birthday where he just stayed home and didn’t go out because he didn’t want the girls find out about each other.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I looked it up. The worst door dashers making approximately 50 bucks a day. Times 4 = 250 = 1000 a month.

50 times 4 is 250?

 

[Rainrain]

I looked it up. The worst door dashers making approximately 50 bucks a day. Times 4 = 250 = 1000 a month. Assuming he has some expenses he should still be able to save like 300 bucks a month. That's 3600 a year.

But I've also seen people talking about making a 100/150 a day. So that would triple the amount of money he can save.

The man is 36. Why doesn't he get a normal steady job? He claims to wanna be " that guy" that women want. He can spend his time learning a skill and plow in some good cash while still having the luxury of living at home...that should be a blessing.

He could get a job at a temp agency. The pay would be close to minimum wage but there is a pathway there to be a warehouse worker supervisor or to get a forklift licence to be a forklift driver with benefits.

It won’t get you a fashion model but there is a market there for blue collar guys.

 

[corrector]

I looked it up. The worst door dashers making approximately 50 bucks a day. Times 4 = 250 = 1000 a month. Assuming he has some expenses he should still be able to save like 300 bucks a month. That's 3600 a year.

That is a low-wage job. Rent for a studio apartment in some places goes for over $ 2K / mo, let alone other expenses. Most people are upset with the cost of living and inflation that has gone over the roof. In the 90s that may make sense, but in 2024 that's wage-slavery.
I'm earning more than double what he is and I'm crying poor all the time so I can't imagine how he can survive on that. (I'm in Toronto, Canada BTW so here is well known for having a housing affordability crises and insane cost of living costs where even nurses are living in their cars).

But I've also seen people talking about making a 100/150 a day. So that would triple the amount of money he can save.

That amount is terrible with a cost of living crises. You need like $ 500/day to see your way.

The man is 36. Why doesn't he get a normal steady job? He claims to wanna be " that guy" that women want. He can spend his time learning a skill and plow in some good cash while still having the luxury of living at home...that should be a blessing.

Having a normal steady corporate drone job doesn't seem to get women wet though.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Having a normal steady corporate drone job doesn't seem to get women wet though.

Your job is supposed to get women wet?