Dissolving My Marriage

[The Duke]

“Let us consider the author’s male interviewees and their reactions to these patterns of female behavior. Langley lists three obstacles to male recognition of the reality of female infidelity: (1) a kind of high- minded attitude that “my wife simply isn’t ‘that kind’ of woman,” which usually amounts to wishful thinking; (2) an invalid inference from the wife’s lack of interest in sexual relations with them to a lack of sexual interests generally; and (3) a failure to discuss and compare notes on marital problems with other men, as women routinely do with one another.

I was that exactly that guy years ago. 1.)I didn't believe my wife would cheat, my mind wouldn't even go there, no one in my extended family had divorced so it was foreign to me. Catholic families didn't get divorced. 2.)She wasn't into sex with me as much, and her interest in things that mattered to me faded away. 3.)I didn't have any friends or know anyone that I could talk to about marital problems. I didn't even really know I had marital problems. But I did have an older neighbor that had been with a few women and was on wife #2. He was the one that figured out she was cheating. He suspected it way before I did. One night we were sitting in his driveway and he laid it out and said why he thought what he did. He had been through all that before and saw the signs from far away. He definitely lit the fire in me that helped me figure things out.

 

[member162951]

Most societies allow men to have a mistress. I can not verify your claim about Germanic societies. I can verify that China has a mistress day which is March 3rd. I can also verify that the most of the world does not care if a man has a mistress. We have the worst family values of any nation yet we care the most about male infidelity. Do you see the connection here?

I remember going to France as a boy during the Monica Lewinksy trial. My dad was talking to a French man and the French man was laughing at how big a deal Americans were making about about Bill Clinton getting a bj. The French prime minister had a well know mistress who showed up at his funeral. By your logic the French society should be in shambles because they are ok with men cheating. In reality it is American society that is in shambles. Our women beat on us and dont know what gender they are.

Again this control over male sexuality is a consequence of gynocentric thinking.

Interesting post! I recall traveling through Europe years ago and hearing same. I recall thinking at the time it made sense.

@Pandora just curious but in French and other societies where a man having a mistress is accepable and the norm, are the words promising to "forsake all others" part of a couple's marital vows as they are in the U.S.?

I assume not?

And if a wife is aware of it and accepts it, is it actually "cheating," which by definition is deception?

My dad (born and raised until early teens in Lithuania) had mistresses, my mom was aware. I posted about this earlier.

I recall being around 10 years old and thinking I'm never getting married, I'd rather be the mistress. When asked why I recall responding "because the mistress is treated better than the wife"!

I'm remembering this now, it's actually a vivid memory.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I was that exactly that guy years ago. 1.)I didn't believe my wife would cheat, my mind wouldn't even go there, no one in my extended family had divorced so it was foreign to me. Catholic families didn't get divorced. 2.)She wasn't into sex with me as much, and her interest in things that mattered to me faded away. 3.)I didn't have any friends or know anyone that I could talk to about marital problems. I didn't even really know I had marital problems. But I did have an older neighbor that had been with a few women and was on wife #2. He was the one that figured out she was cheating. He suspected it way before I did. One night we were sitting in his driveway and he laid it out and said why he thought what he did. He had been through all that before and saw the signs from far away. He definitely lit the fire in me that helped me figure things out.

You might want to listen to the entire orated essay I linked which is an essay in the collection of essays I often recommend: Sexual Utopia in Power. The first part of the essay is commentary on the book Female Infidelity by Michelle Langley (first two video segments) and the rest is commentary on Dr. Stephen Baskerville’s Taken into Custody.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I've basically been going through a midlife crisis and identity crisis at the same time, floundering pretty hard in it all.

Midlife crisis my a$$. You're just realizing that your smv is peaking, you're making way more money, your physique is getting way better, and since you unplugged during marriage you now see you can do way better, but you're fighting to make your wife into the woman you want.

After some discussion, I've decided to get my wife a daytime training "collar". I had an actual D/s daytime collar I would like to get, but that one has to be earned. The training collar is symbolic of the relationship direction, ownership, and deference. The necklace is here

It's intended to be self-tightening to a small degree, so that it sits as a constant reminder of her willful commitment to me and to the changes she needs to make within herself.

Honestly this is weird as fvck, if I do this "collar, leadership", she will be "the wife I want" that's a fvcking big covert contract.

You're worried about getting divorced r4ped? Its just money dude, of you made one time, your gonna make it again.

This Midswatch was made for you.

 

[Money & Muscle]

You're worried about getting divorced r4ped? Its just money dude, of you made one time, your gonna make it again.

She could take half my assets and I'd recover fine.

If she took half my future income indefinitely?
Hard to come back from that.

There's no covert contracts but I understand why it sounds that way. I'll give that episode a watch later today, thanks.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

If she took half my future income indefinitely?
Hard to come back from that.

Fairly sure the moment the petition is filed it freezes your financial stake in a marriage, that is, it is at that moment in time that is used to calculate alimony and child support payments. Payments do not increase as a percentage of your increased income after the fact.

 

[Pandora]

Midlife crisis my a$$. You're just realizing that your smv is peaking, you're making way more money, your physique is getting way better, and since you unplugged during marriage you now see you can do way better, but you're fighting to make your wife into the woman you want.


Honestly this is weird as fvck, if I do this "collar, leadership", she will be "the wife I want" that's a fvcking big covert contract.

You're worried about getting divorced r4ped? Its just money dude, of you made one time, your gonna make it again.

This Midswatch was made for you.

I watched this episode. It was refreshing. I liked it. So basically you only get divorced raped if you dont have a good legal plan?

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I watched this episode. It was refreshing. I liked it. So basically you only get divorced raped if you dont have a good legal plan?

Man I have no fvcking idea, but it was refreshing to watch it as well.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Fairly sure the moment the petition is filed it freezes your financial stake in a marriage, that is, it is at that moment in time that is used to calculate alimony and child support payments. Payments do not increase as a percentage of your increased income after the fact.

Wrong

 

[Money & Muscle]

Fairly sure the moment the petition is filed it freezes your financial stake in a marriage, that is, it is at that moment in time that is used to calculate alimony and child support payments. Payments do not increase as a percentage of your increased income after the fact.

You might be right, but the way the lawyer said it - it sounded like she can appeal for additional alimony indefinitely to match 50% income. I don't recall him explicitly saying it this way. But that's what I remember it sounding like.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Wrong

I know that 5 years ago during my divorce my arbitrator said that the moment the petition is filed, it freezes all assets, and that all calculations are done from that moment in time.

Furthermore, your ex would have to prove that you had gained income, there’s a burden of truth here. When I finalized my divorce I worked with a lawyer that was a financial expert as well to move my assets in such a way that they were unimpeachable, irrevocable trusts were set up, for example each of my real estate assets are in different vehicles, this makes it even harder to assault.

Others here have used them as well, in California my state and have spoken about it here several times.

Real wealth is always understated, I’m not talking about wealth that’s hyper-leveraged as most is. Don’t flaunt your financial status, and most problems are resolved. Do not buy the McMansion or the turbo carrera buy the house in the nice neighborhood and a sensible upper middle class sedan; you can exude class if you actually possess it without being a brag.