That's why marriage is $hit, and all the BS about until death do us part.
@BeExcellent shouldn't have to put with alcoholism with her ex. But
@Bokanovsky is right, she broke the sacred vows by getting divorced.
The vows are important taken together. You vow to "honor and cherish" a wife too in the Judeo-Christian tradition. Even the Bible sets forth legitimate reasons for divorce, and sexual infidelity tops the list.
Alcoholism is terribly unhealthy. It neither honors not cherishes. I held up my end of the bargain. I supported him through poorer, when he lost his business, I carried the family on my own back for more than 10 years (during which time he had every opportunity to get help, with me encouraging that & offering to pay for it), I did everything I could to stay together. He did not care enough about himself and/or the addiction, which truly became his mistress in a way), he abdicated his responsibilities as a man that he vowed to uphold.
The thing is that if one spouse decides to entirely disrespect, disregard the welfare of the spouse/children and breach the trust? The relationship, even a marriage, unravels.
I completely lost respect for my first husband as a man because he simply decided to crawl in a bottle and check out.
If my husband were to cheat? That creates a similar non-overcomable breach in trust.
Both of those things are insurmountable things brought on by irresponsible behavior. Essentially in the marriage vows you commit to acting responsible and caring for one another through thick and thin.
Neither cheating nor becoming an alcolholic uphold that commitment. So if one party takes liberty with that commitment? The commitment then is worthless and the other party should not be bound by it.
Go cheat you guys. And don't come cry here when you find out your wives have also taken lovers. You are the leader. As you do, so is she free to do.
Men have wanted to have their cake & eat it too forever. Some get away with it. Men who value their women don't do it.
And if you don't think female sexuality cannot be wanton? Well then you are truly naive. Sex is on one level about power. Women have used sex to gain power for thousands of years. Cleopatra and many others.
So don't have the naive idea that women don't have sexual urges, desires & fantasies just like men do. Women are expected to tolerate men's indiscretions but men simply cannot handle women having sexual freedom & this is why entire socities do everything to defuse, shame, hide, cover up or otherwise dampen female sexuality. It is far more powerful potentially, hence the seeking to control it through millennia.
Reminds me of a crass joke I once heard:
Men each have 1 pe nis. With a pu ssy a woman can have as many pe nises as she pleases.
This makes men's heads explode. So fathers protect chastity, men want virgins, low body counts, etc. God forbid a woman discovers the kind of sexual power she has. Whose children are those? Who knows. That is what underpins everything, taming/damping female sexuality. Its not that it doesn't exist. Quite the reverse gentlemen. Men FEAR female sexuality run amuck and seek to contain it.
