Into the new year and continue to have interesting times with women. Have gotten over the idea of just wanting to f*ck a bunch of girls and am finally after all this time going for the ones I'm really attracted to. It's the right thing to do. A couple good reminders why this past weekend. I had been in convo's long distance with a girl I thought was cute but kinda chubby. She stayed with me all Sat and most of Sun. We had a lot of sex, but I found myself regretting it. She was only going to get more attached and I couldn't get over her weight (she wasn't HUGE but she was not my physical type....small, dainty and feminine with big lips and pretty eyes). It sucks because I don't want to hang much anymore because I know it's just to get my rocks off and doing that just makes me feel like a ****. I'm also really focusing on trying to date prettier girls and this does nothing for me in that area. I did meet a girl who was freakin 17, but sooooo my type... sucks that she's so young. It's legal but just not morally right and wouldn't prob work out long term because of the age. Met a few other beautiful girls and getting more comfortable with them, not as concerned about what they think anymore, more concerned about who they are. Have even dismissed really hot girls that seemed too entitled, just wasn't interested in that at all. No more girls I wouldn't feel right about later, just not gonna hang out with them really. Sex for it's own sake isn't all that rewarding, except to the ego and the temporarily to the body. I want more then that, and am SO happy that I'm finally trusting myself enough and believing in myself enough to realize that I CAN have what I really want in life. I'm KINDA still helping out that group, there is a lot of sex starvation going on there though and regardless of how much I try to convince them that they will get more if they ignore that part of it they are soooo hungry it hurts them like mad. Also lots of sh*tty quibbling about who gets the most / best ass...... really f*cking stupid **** looking at things now.
Yuppaz Field Reports of Trials and Tribulations
- Thread starter yuppaz
- Start date
Couple other important things I wanted to get down. This year for me is about action and energy. I'm saving my ability and my team at work and I'm going to do more to get my inner masculinity and competitiveness out. Not going to lose my sense of loving but think it's important to foster that kind of action and energy in myself vs. anything stagnant. I realized last year that I was too much about thinking and too little about doing and think this is what I need. So far it's been really serving me well. I feel better at work because I'm getting sh*t done well and that translates to less overall stress and more fun when I'm having fun. Think less, do more but within my own internal value system.... bingo
Strange weird odd stuff going on. I've been seeing this girl I met at an event a while ago who whipped my ass at Haloween with an actual whip...I asked her to do it it was funny. She's really into me and last couple weekends have been fun, she has a bright future ahead of her and a pretty face, sweet girl but she's kinda chubby...not bad, but not my thing still talking, she's getting deep worried about it.Last weekend ran into a girl I've been wanting to get together with for a while. She is into me but I'm feelin guilty about other girl so I didn't call her. Still can. Last night I'm working out and I see one of the former Miss Hawaii's who is a face crack friend I tease a lot. She is nervous around me, but doesn't actually know me well. She isn't as cute in person since I saw her come out of a club, she's gonna be in a hawaii 5-0 episode. After the gym, this girl I met months ago for like 10 minutes MAX calls me and wants to hang out that night. I take her up on it we go to mine and have some wine. She tells me she has a paper marriage, we hang out for a while and she is all about wanting to f*ck me. She gives me the best head I've ever gotten and has a hot little body. She is real quick so I play it safe and wear a condom AND pull out both times. She keeps mentioning that she has a green card and that her mom and dad are retired and being taken care of by her brothers, but earlier she says her mom was just out on vaca. Soooooo something is real fishy with her, I'm guessing she is worried about her mom and wants a sugar daddy or something??? I like the way she gives head so I'll hang a little but be extra careful with this one. Seriously I don't know what the deal is i"m not at all paying attention to women and they are chasing me down these days. not complaining, except for the last one...too bad she has some hidden agenda, I actually like her kinda crazy / fun personality (and bl0wjobs) she says she's a good cook and masseuse too....hmmm dinner backrub and some head?????
Ok, so haven't really attempted any new girls in a while, but this past weekend I did. I didn't actually get any denials, but didn't really ask either. Do have to point out though that when it felt like I didn't get much attention, I was bothered by it. Not a very promising thing that I'm still affected like that. It actually did seem to make me question my self esteem a little bit. That's just not right, logically I know WAY better but subconsciously that is what went on and I'm still feeling little pangs today. Anyone know how to eliminate this kind of thing so my self esteem is CONSISTENT regardless of interactions that go badly or just not well? I really didn't like the fact that I basically wasted the weekend on this stuff Fri and Sat both wasted going out for nothing. Even if I got laid it still would have been for nothing, I guess unless I met someone really pretty that I liked a lot.... then it would be ok.
Another thing, pickup groups put ****loads of pressure on me, I have been tending to do really poorly when hanging out with friends that are trying to learn pickup stuff from me.... even though I am not teaching that, rather just teaching meeting women, I'm not great at it when I'm forced to do it or to perform. I'd rather be out solo
Another thing, pickup groups put ****loads of pressure on me, I have been tending to do really poorly when hanging out with friends that are trying to learn pickup stuff from me.... even though I am not teaching that, rather just teaching meeting women, I'm not great at it when I'm forced to do it or to perform. I'd rather be out solo
I don't know if it will work for you but I remind myself that ugly chicks have rejected me and yet fine chicks have fvcked on the same night. There is a completely random distribution between interested and uninterested women so I gotta just keep on approaching. If the basis of attraction is relatively random, then there is no real need for your self-esteem to come into question.
Keep the entries coming
Keep the entries coming
Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Thanks for the reminder Macallik. Ya true enough hate rating anything but a 5 might think she's too good and a 9 might feel she's not good enough. Guess my skin was a little thin for a bit there.
This weekend was kinda interesting. Went out Fri with 3 girls, one I wanted to f*ck, but she's married so I haven't been trying. Later in the night we were alone and I brought it up, which was really stupid. I was drunk and we were hanging out and I mentioned it to where she basically said she thought about it but let's not go there, she's right I'm salty that I even tried making some kind of move toward it.
Felt crappy next day but met up with guys I'm trying to help and got them approaching. One guy has been really introverted his whole life and he is pretty chill, but major AA. Then when in set with him I hear some god awful stuff coming out of his mouth. First it's all questions then I start hearing, "hey is that your real hair, or is it fake" I was telling him to compliment a girl, find something you like about her and say it and he just couldn't. Later he told me it was him negging her but I corrected him and told him he was just being a **** and that this wasn't a club and the girl wasn't a 10, and even if so that still wouldn't work. I told him he has low self esteem and protects himself with his judgment of others. That's his problem. Just sooo much negative stuff coming out of his mouth. So much judgmental-ism I also helped another guy who was having problems connecting, also has AA. I opened a couple groups in front of him, showed him the fun and light teasing and the appreciation of the girl and trying to get to know who she is a little without being TOO openly into her. Got him a phone number of a girl at a store. I think he really needs to just work on being more interesting in general, he is less afraid to approach, but not very fun to them.
It made me re-look at my "Game" a bit. It's really a fun approach where I talk about whatever ridiculous thing I can think of then I at some point switch it to being more normal and telling her something i appreciate about her, then tease a little, more fun, then genuine, then tell her I think we should get together and make a plan, get the number. Really my girl stuff lately... my issue has been that I've been lazy, I'm just not doing it enough to see any results with the kind of women I want. Not nearly as worried about hotter girls in the daytime, think it's the night time that I have these false pressures I create for myself some how. I also value them too highly after I get the number or make the plan and need to remember that they are not really proven good match material just yet. And no f*cking too quickly.
This weekend was kinda interesting. Went out Fri with 3 girls, one I wanted to f*ck, but she's married so I haven't been trying. Later in the night we were alone and I brought it up, which was really stupid. I was drunk and we were hanging out and I mentioned it to where she basically said she thought about it but let's not go there, she's right I'm salty that I even tried making some kind of move toward it.
Felt crappy next day but met up with guys I'm trying to help and got them approaching. One guy has been really introverted his whole life and he is pretty chill, but major AA. Then when in set with him I hear some god awful stuff coming out of his mouth. First it's all questions then I start hearing, "hey is that your real hair, or is it fake" I was telling him to compliment a girl, find something you like about her and say it and he just couldn't. Later he told me it was him negging her but I corrected him and told him he was just being a **** and that this wasn't a club and the girl wasn't a 10, and even if so that still wouldn't work. I told him he has low self esteem and protects himself with his judgment of others. That's his problem. Just sooo much negative stuff coming out of his mouth. So much judgmental-ism I also helped another guy who was having problems connecting, also has AA. I opened a couple groups in front of him, showed him the fun and light teasing and the appreciation of the girl and trying to get to know who she is a little without being TOO openly into her. Got him a phone number of a girl at a store. I think he really needs to just work on being more interesting in general, he is less afraid to approach, but not very fun to them.
It made me re-look at my "Game" a bit. It's really a fun approach where I talk about whatever ridiculous thing I can think of then I at some point switch it to being more normal and telling her something i appreciate about her, then tease a little, more fun, then genuine, then tell her I think we should get together and make a plan, get the number. Really my girl stuff lately... my issue has been that I've been lazy, I'm just not doing it enough to see any results with the kind of women I want. Not nearly as worried about hotter girls in the daytime, think it's the night time that I have these false pressures I create for myself some how. I also value them too highly after I get the number or make the plan and need to remember that they are not really proven good match material just yet. And no f*cking too quickly.
wow it's been a long time since I've posted anything. Had some family issues and stuff. Have still been hanging out with the kinda chubby girl. It grates on me when she talks about the way she eats and drinks etc. but I kinda like blowing my load in her mouth. It's kinda d*ck of me. Girl wise haven't really been paying much attention lately. I stopped with the group trying to help guys pickup women, but still in touch with the guys. Some of them are doing really well, some just think too much and at least KNOW that's their problem connecting w/ women.... but need to find their way to stopping the bad habits.
I'm still kinda having a tough time with girls I feel are attractive. I can get contact info etc. but having a hard time meeting up. Have gotten better though in some regards, but average women keep making themselves available and easy and I'm taking the easy path and banging them. It's unhealthy. I also started seeing a therapist (not dating this one, actual visiting her in her office). Hope to get the demons out of my closet, so far she seems like a smart woman and may be able to piece together my self entitlement issues and help me fix them.
This past weekend was kinda interesting. accidentally stepped on this girls toes in a venue, went to go apologize to her and she was freaking beautiful, she looked almost exactly like this other girl that looked like Natalie Portman. I swore it was the same girl. We had a few moments of playfulness and flirting, but it turns out she was with a guy that night so no dice. Later my friend told me he saw her blowing this ugly dude that was the lead singer in the band that night in a bathroom stall, it kind of lowered her value to me, but I'm not sure...my buddy has told me **** like that before when I mention girls I'm into. He might be gay and jealous. Hasn't tried anything but did get bothered once when I was making out with this girl we were hanging out with. Even so, it reinforces my type to me and doesn't hurt to reinforce that girls aren't angels, but then neither am I right?
Next day, went to this pool party thing, got this hot Swiss chicks email (dunno if I have to pay long distance to call her), emailed her no response. No biggie. Later that day was going to say hi to my boys and they were with these two girls. I go to introduce myself and the hot one says "Your Hairy"... I'm thinking, wow what a little entitled bi*ch, so I look her up and down and tell her "thanks, so are you"... she steps back all offended and defensive and says she bets I have hairy balls, I check in front of her and tell her, ya it's a f*ckin forest down there. She tells me ewww I don't want to see and I tell her I don't even know her, not gonna show her my balls, little perve (hahahaha). So ok, this girl was either **** testing me (which I passed), or just a little *****. Either way I stood my ground and she lost. I didn't react to her badly, but I was probably too aggressive w/ her but just didn't care. She was hot and my type but I don't like that kind of **** when I'm just being friendly, she thought too highly of herself. Trippy to get instant **** from some little hottie, new to me. Didn't see why she thought she would need to test though, I was pretty chill and just having fun, being friendly.
I'm still kinda having a tough time with girls I feel are attractive. I can get contact info etc. but having a hard time meeting up. Have gotten better though in some regards, but average women keep making themselves available and easy and I'm taking the easy path and banging them. It's unhealthy. I also started seeing a therapist (not dating this one, actual visiting her in her office). Hope to get the demons out of my closet, so far she seems like a smart woman and may be able to piece together my self entitlement issues and help me fix them.
This past weekend was kinda interesting. accidentally stepped on this girls toes in a venue, went to go apologize to her and she was freaking beautiful, she looked almost exactly like this other girl that looked like Natalie Portman. I swore it was the same girl. We had a few moments of playfulness and flirting, but it turns out she was with a guy that night so no dice. Later my friend told me he saw her blowing this ugly dude that was the lead singer in the band that night in a bathroom stall, it kind of lowered her value to me, but I'm not sure...my buddy has told me **** like that before when I mention girls I'm into. He might be gay and jealous. Hasn't tried anything but did get bothered once when I was making out with this girl we were hanging out with. Even so, it reinforces my type to me and doesn't hurt to reinforce that girls aren't angels, but then neither am I right?
Next day, went to this pool party thing, got this hot Swiss chicks email (dunno if I have to pay long distance to call her), emailed her no response. No biggie. Later that day was going to say hi to my boys and they were with these two girls. I go to introduce myself and the hot one says "Your Hairy"... I'm thinking, wow what a little entitled bi*ch, so I look her up and down and tell her "thanks, so are you"... she steps back all offended and defensive and says she bets I have hairy balls, I check in front of her and tell her, ya it's a f*ckin forest down there. She tells me ewww I don't want to see and I tell her I don't even know her, not gonna show her my balls, little perve (hahahaha). So ok, this girl was either **** testing me (which I passed), or just a little *****. Either way I stood my ground and she lost. I didn't react to her badly, but I was probably too aggressive w/ her but just didn't care. She was hot and my type but I don't like that kind of **** when I'm just being friendly, she thought too highly of herself. Trippy to get instant **** from some little hottie, new to me. Didn't see why she thought she would need to test though, I was pretty chill and just having fun, being friendly.
It's again been a long while since I've looked at this. I refereed a friend to this post and a few others so he can see that I had some similar experiences in learning to succeed more. Reading through this journal and thinking back on it make it pretty glaringly obvious to me that my issue has really been that I didn't value myself enough, and I placed so much emotion on each interaction. These days I care very little, probably too little. I just kind of assume the girls will be into me and don't put in much effort. I seem to care so little about what happens that I almost intentionally make it harder on myself with them. Like I will throw sh*t out there that would be hard to recover from and will often not recover. Went out with my friend to Waiks yesterday to hopefully show him a few things where he may be off in his interactions. I think he is being talkative, but all logical conversation & now some added humor but he hasn't been getting the results, so I wanted him to show some intent. With one group, a mom and daughter the daughter was basically begging for fun stuff to do at night so it was a simple matter of inviting her out with us, her mom actually volunteered her other daughter too..haha. Really cool family and cool people the girl did give me a little **** test but I gave it back to her. Got her to give my buddy her number so we can get together, should be easy fun times & sweet girl too. That wasn't serious intent, just playing it mello and letting her invest.
Serious intent when went to buy a shirt at Hugo Boss, I liked the look of the sales girl and basically asked her if she would go out with me when I wore their shirt. She said yes so I asked for the number, she declined and said she had a boyfriend, but her mouth said no and her eyes and B/L was saying yes. I persisted, she resisted and in the end I won out. Once she gave it to me I toned it down and had some friendly conversation with her and got to know her better. She wasn't used to such directness but I could tell it turned her on with my strength of will and social acumen to know when to back off. I don't care about the number just wanted my friend to see.
Later I asked him to try just being straight up and telling girls he thought they were really pretty. He was nervous as **** at first (I think) because there is no safety net when being emotionally honest and direct like that. I can understand that. First girl he did it to it didn't go well, second one he did it too was BEAMING happy. He didn't know where to go from there, which was fine but he did it and I could tell it helped him relax in a way. Later I did the same with that girls friend when they all got together. I was persistent and she liked me physically, but I think she was a bit uncomfortable with it and while she did flirt, she didn't want to look bad in front of her friends so got me to write down my email on something she had (in order to throw it away later....bleh I don't care really that wasn't the point). Later I tried to endure in him the sense that relating is about connection, so it is best to learn to connect honestly then to have witty banter with someone. Also basics, body language, reading the girls body language, voice tonality, eye contact, rate of speech and communicating with emotion vs. logic. That last one is hard to explain how to do so any ideas are welcome.
Serious intent when went to buy a shirt at Hugo Boss, I liked the look of the sales girl and basically asked her if she would go out with me when I wore their shirt. She said yes so I asked for the number, she declined and said she had a boyfriend, but her mouth said no and her eyes and B/L was saying yes. I persisted, she resisted and in the end I won out. Once she gave it to me I toned it down and had some friendly conversation with her and got to know her better. She wasn't used to such directness but I could tell it turned her on with my strength of will and social acumen to know when to back off. I don't care about the number just wanted my friend to see.
Later I asked him to try just being straight up and telling girls he thought they were really pretty. He was nervous as **** at first (I think) because there is no safety net when being emotionally honest and direct like that. I can understand that. First girl he did it to it didn't go well, second one he did it too was BEAMING happy. He didn't know where to go from there, which was fine but he did it and I could tell it helped him relax in a way. Later I did the same with that girls friend when they all got together. I was persistent and she liked me physically, but I think she was a bit uncomfortable with it and while she did flirt, she didn't want to look bad in front of her friends so got me to write down my email on something she had (in order to throw it away later....bleh I don't care really that wasn't the point). Later I tried to endure in him the sense that relating is about connection, so it is best to learn to connect honestly then to have witty banter with someone. Also basics, body language, reading the girls body language, voice tonality, eye contact, rate of speech and communicating with emotion vs. logic. That last one is hard to explain how to do so any ideas are welcome.
Had a noteworthy weekend and another epiphany...ya I know those are getting old at this point. I am going to try to not be too wordy here.
I went out Fri night to get away from chasing girls and just to have some fun, and I did. I had more then a few drinks and hung out with my buddy and without trying for it met quite a few little hotties. Was singing at a Karaoke bar and packing the place, met and eye f*cked a ton of really fine German girls, ALLLLL checking me out. Bunch of German guys were trying to Amog my ass but I basically ran the show and after a while they were trying to please me and look up to me...pretty much all cuz I was having my own fun and not giving a f*ck, being loud, shouting. Guys looked intimidated to be honest and to them I was simply positive and friendly, let them come around.
Next night I went to a high end club and dressed pretty nice, was with a group of pretty high status guys dressed well with connections. It was interesting seeing how girls in their group were REALLY all into me. Eye f*cked by just about everyone there even some dude was asking for my phone number for some work stuff. I was again in my own little world, not really pushing to run any game and just having fun and meeting new people. One guy in the group made a point of introducing his girl as his wife, mostly cuz he was scared (with reason, she kept checking me out). Was really trippy seeing how my friends high status friend worked. He took charge but was fun and made sure to have hotties rolling with him, two REALLY fine girls he was with seemed to be hanging out with him to get free drinks and be in the VIP. Very very interesting stuff. He was a little bit of a tool to me, but I just tried to be nice & ignore it. I think he was a little jealous at the attention I was getting without all the social proof because he obviously worked very hard to get it (and I need to learn to do the same thing) and probably thought it was the only way to success. I did NOT want to poach his field though so I was just being fun without flirting with any of his girls. I did meet this fine black chick that I wanted to have a 3 some with and almost did, but her friend wasn't into it. Either way the point was that I really wasn't hungry at all and it made an enormous impact on how things went.
I went out Fri night to get away from chasing girls and just to have some fun, and I did. I had more then a few drinks and hung out with my buddy and without trying for it met quite a few little hotties. Was singing at a Karaoke bar and packing the place, met and eye f*cked a ton of really fine German girls, ALLLLL checking me out. Bunch of German guys were trying to Amog my ass but I basically ran the show and after a while they were trying to please me and look up to me...pretty much all cuz I was having my own fun and not giving a f*ck, being loud, shouting. Guys looked intimidated to be honest and to them I was simply positive and friendly, let them come around.
Next night I went to a high end club and dressed pretty nice, was with a group of pretty high status guys dressed well with connections. It was interesting seeing how girls in their group were REALLY all into me. Eye f*cked by just about everyone there even some dude was asking for my phone number for some work stuff. I was again in my own little world, not really pushing to run any game and just having fun and meeting new people. One guy in the group made a point of introducing his girl as his wife, mostly cuz he was scared (with reason, she kept checking me out). Was really trippy seeing how my friends high status friend worked. He took charge but was fun and made sure to have hotties rolling with him, two REALLY fine girls he was with seemed to be hanging out with him to get free drinks and be in the VIP. Very very interesting stuff. He was a little bit of a tool to me, but I just tried to be nice & ignore it. I think he was a little jealous at the attention I was getting without all the social proof because he obviously worked very hard to get it (and I need to learn to do the same thing) and probably thought it was the only way to success. I did NOT want to poach his field though so I was just being fun without flirting with any of his girls. I did meet this fine black chick that I wanted to have a 3 some with and almost did, but her friend wasn't into it. Either way the point was that I really wasn't hungry at all and it made an enormous impact on how things went.
Sooooo. Hmmmmm okaayyyyyy. Things have been very odd for me lately. I have been getting eye ****ed by some unbelievably hot girls andI do feel more comfortable around them but i've been hanging out with someone so I really haven't acted on it. Not that happy with the girl i've been hanging with she's gotten chubby and i'm not liking that at all. Ok so down to brass tax. In my dating life I am having a hard time being normal lately when meeting girls. In a way I care too little what I do but it may just be a rejection defense mechanism. Like making a reason to use for deniability later on. Well we didn't hook up cuz i didn't really care. So no chance of rejection because there was no real effort was put out anyway. Have also been drinking a lot when going out and trying to help my friends with their stuff (with some success). Last night had a bbq / party at a friends house and thought i was livening the place up by being high energy and proping my buddy who is trying to have more success with women. He did good and almost got laid, kudo's to him. I was feling this buff pretty chick, really liked her but she was into this other guy. I was talking and flirting with this surfer girl who was having a hard time in her life. I was trying to be chill and cool with her and she was a really sweet girl, but I kept on gaming and gaming her all night, it was weird and thinking back it didn't make much sense. I think she was into me but because there were no solid cues to that it got frustrating and I would neg her and ****....the last thing she needed at the time. Also grabbed her friends ass out of the blue....hmmm not cool. I think for whatever reason I'm being disrespectful ...er to women lately probably because ive seen and experienced such blatant disregard from them in the past and maybe thats my unconscious way of getting revenge or something...??? Either way in the month of June I plan to not drink at all, focus on my own health and happiness and just be more openly giving and loving with women. Forgiven for not responding in the way I expected before.
In quite the funk this weekend, but also had a kind of revelation that I hope I can articulate well enough that I can repeat this later on how exactly to get out of it. I think my funk / down-ness was related to this therapy I've been doing. The shrink even told me that I can expect random emotions and outbursts as we go through and discuss why I am the way I am and how to be more healthy and happy.
What's been depressing / angering / frustrating me for a while now is that I feel like I'm capable of accomplishing great things in life, but I don't have a great outlet for doing so. I deeply want to have and know a real and important purpose in life.. and not having one makes me feel like I'm just wasting time. I look back on my life and have done good things..in order to fill this mold of what I believe would make me perfect.
Pickup hasn't helped that at all btw. There is a lot of "Here is this theory of why other guys have success and why you don't, or why you aren't good enough and you need to be more like blah blah blah (stoic alpha, outgoing party guy, smooth pimp like player, ****y collar popped jock, buff, peackocked aloof magician)". In other words you are not successful with women, people like this are, so be more like them and therefore you should be too. The premise is that you are not good enough like you are, so fit a mold that is. The problem is that if that isn't actually who you are and you are a perfectionist not getting the results you want you will constantly feel like as a person you are not good enough, and I'm just not good at faking it... so it's a constant state of being unfulfilled. Even if you have more success, was it because of who I am or was it because of who I portrayed?
I'm really not any of the above at all, I'm just me. I'm slowly learning more about who that me is. And while I'm being more honest with myself I'm seeing why the previous portrayals didn't work. I wasn't connecting with people with real similar interests, or expressing what I actually thought... I was trying to prove to myself that I was good enough. Not exactly a buyers frame even though it did occasionally work.
I also put way too much value on beauty, I may still do that though I'm noticing that beautiful women are actually attracted to me and the thing keeping me from them is the fact that I'm not comfortable / normal around them. THAT boils down to thinking of myself as having low value. And I believe that I'm thinking that BECAUSE I'm measuring myself against being perfect (or ummm perfect in Pickup Architypes). A big part of that is new, I actually used to have much more success with women. I think it's due to me thinking I have to maintain an image of being successful because some of my friends look to me to be successful. I didn't care before but now trying to help them, and be the guy that's good with women I have built an ego around it and am not just simply having fun and connecting rather I have to uphold my image to them. I'm confused as to what I should do. I shouldn't be, but I do find myself shifting into a roll / becoming like them in a way where it's about the nani when we do something. I don't even want that though I don't like going out alone as much anymore and slip into this mode. I need to find my way back to my happiness where I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone and I can actually connect with women again.
Wow big side track but important one. Anyway so I was in a major funk, emotions going nuts, negative thoughts, very tired (which I'm learning is VERY bad for my mood...just how I'm wired) abound and I listened to Eckard Tolle cd where he does some practices for getting into "the now" or this moment. Basically what happened was phenomenal, I got a little bit of space between all of these future and past psychological thoughts bombarding my mind and with that space, and letting all the mental noise die down I was able to find some peace with what is and who I am. I'm still in that place now the next day and I feel really good! With women too, I went to this coffee shop and just talked story / had fun talking about estrogen vs. testosterone for building muscle with the coffee shop girls, and there was a cute new one who was really feeling me. I wasn't trying to be cool or act some other way I am not I just talked about what I was doing with weight lifting stuff and a quick little theory and she was really feeling me. I didn't close / make plans (which is fine), but it's been a while since that has happened without effort and I owe it all to just SPACE / being present and being in that moment. THe takeaway for me in all this is that that psychological / mental noise / unfulfillment / perfection seeking is really the problem and not the solution. The lack of the noise is the answer, everything flows naturally from there.
So the short: next time in a funk, listen tolle, let go of trying / seeking and just be cool with what is right now....and sleep well.
What's been depressing / angering / frustrating me for a while now is that I feel like I'm capable of accomplishing great things in life, but I don't have a great outlet for doing so. I deeply want to have and know a real and important purpose in life.. and not having one makes me feel like I'm just wasting time. I look back on my life and have done good things..in order to fill this mold of what I believe would make me perfect.
Pickup hasn't helped that at all btw. There is a lot of "Here is this theory of why other guys have success and why you don't, or why you aren't good enough and you need to be more like blah blah blah (stoic alpha, outgoing party guy, smooth pimp like player, ****y collar popped jock, buff, peackocked aloof magician)". In other words you are not successful with women, people like this are, so be more like them and therefore you should be too. The premise is that you are not good enough like you are, so fit a mold that is. The problem is that if that isn't actually who you are and you are a perfectionist not getting the results you want you will constantly feel like as a person you are not good enough, and I'm just not good at faking it... so it's a constant state of being unfulfilled. Even if you have more success, was it because of who I am or was it because of who I portrayed?
I'm really not any of the above at all, I'm just me. I'm slowly learning more about who that me is. And while I'm being more honest with myself I'm seeing why the previous portrayals didn't work. I wasn't connecting with people with real similar interests, or expressing what I actually thought... I was trying to prove to myself that I was good enough. Not exactly a buyers frame even though it did occasionally work.
I also put way too much value on beauty, I may still do that though I'm noticing that beautiful women are actually attracted to me and the thing keeping me from them is the fact that I'm not comfortable / normal around them. THAT boils down to thinking of myself as having low value. And I believe that I'm thinking that BECAUSE I'm measuring myself against being perfect (or ummm perfect in Pickup Architypes). A big part of that is new, I actually used to have much more success with women. I think it's due to me thinking I have to maintain an image of being successful because some of my friends look to me to be successful. I didn't care before but now trying to help them, and be the guy that's good with women I have built an ego around it and am not just simply having fun and connecting rather I have to uphold my image to them. I'm confused as to what I should do. I shouldn't be, but I do find myself shifting into a roll / becoming like them in a way where it's about the nani when we do something. I don't even want that though I don't like going out alone as much anymore and slip into this mode. I need to find my way back to my happiness where I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone and I can actually connect with women again.
Wow big side track but important one. Anyway so I was in a major funk, emotions going nuts, negative thoughts, very tired (which I'm learning is VERY bad for my mood...just how I'm wired) abound and I listened to Eckard Tolle cd where he does some practices for getting into "the now" or this moment. Basically what happened was phenomenal, I got a little bit of space between all of these future and past psychological thoughts bombarding my mind and with that space, and letting all the mental noise die down I was able to find some peace with what is and who I am. I'm still in that place now the next day and I feel really good! With women too, I went to this coffee shop and just talked story / had fun talking about estrogen vs. testosterone for building muscle with the coffee shop girls, and there was a cute new one who was really feeling me. I wasn't trying to be cool or act some other way I am not I just talked about what I was doing with weight lifting stuff and a quick little theory and she was really feeling me. I didn't close / make plans (which is fine), but it's been a while since that has happened without effort and I owe it all to just SPACE / being present and being in that moment. THe takeaway for me in all this is that that psychological / mental noise / unfulfillment / perfection seeking is really the problem and not the solution. The lack of the noise is the answer, everything flows naturally from there.
So the short: next time in a funk, listen tolle, let go of trying / seeking and just be cool with what is right now....and sleep well.
neghitzbrah
Don Juan
This just goes to show that 'getting women' isn't the road to happiness. It can give you a temporary high, but it will wear off once your game is off or when you aren't getting ass. True happiness is liking yourself and your life.
Keep at it yuppaz. Now you know what you need to do, so go ahead and do it. Not next year. Not tomorrow, but today.
Keep at it yuppaz. Now you know what you need to do, so go ahead and do it. Not next year. Not tomorrow, but today.
Just a quick observation. I was out this weekend, at a couple pretty high end events that are typically for people with more money. I realized that I keep seeing the same people out, the girls obviously out looking to meet someone and I couldn't help but wonder what they were in it for. These girls were very pretty and I see them out pretty often, dressed up... I think.... to meet men. They have to be meeting people, is it just not working out? Is it just a popularity contest? I'm in the same group, am I out there just to meet girls? So many people vying for status but at the end of the day, what is that status actually doing for them? Are they having more sex with more well to do and better looking people, is that even fulfilling after a while? There seems to be a lot of wanting and chasing happening in the world I wonder if it is really worth it.
Solomon
Master Don Juan
yuppaz said:
Hot chicks wanna meet high value men. This is why I'm always skeptical when guys say they run into fatties and such. Some of the venues I frequent Fat women wouldn't dare because they know they wouldn't be able to compete with the hot tail that's there. These women wanna be around high value men, they wanna snag a guy. They maybe Golddiggers, bvtches, high quality women etc. But Good looking women aren't hard to find from the $$$. The thing about higher end venues is their is a lot of "fronting" and superficialism. While the women maybe beautiful it doesn't mean their necessarily the best types
THESE PARTS OF THE POST, RESONATED WITH ME DEEPLY.yuppaz said:
It shows a paradigm shift Yuppaz, and this honesty is refreshing. To often were worried about how many "hot" chicks we can get. How cool we look, but honestly does it make you happy?
I know what makes me happy is when I feel spiritually connected to God, and do things that are productive. While picking up women is fun, it sometimes feels like a merry-go-around
Good post
Hey Solo - Ya man, I rarely see girls that aren't in the 8-10 range on the looks scale at a lot of these places, and it's a total trip that depending on who you are with and how relaxed you are how aggressive and easy they are to meet and get to know. It really depends on the girl though. I'm realizing more and more how important it is to really look past their looks and try to see them for who they are, not in a judgmental way but more in a ...would she make a good: Girlfriend / friend / wife and mother some day? Or is she someone that I would be better off not knowing (regardless of how HAWT she is)? Really takes the pressure off and get's me past their ego's (by dropping mine) and shields pretty quickly. Also seems to make them like me even more, which is a nice bonus! I think because of getting into the collective pickup ego I started to value people a lot more for their looks and a lot less for their looks if they didn't have it. That's a pretty lousy way for me to live my life, awesome people are awesome people and their value isn't all external... changing that as well.
Exactly man, I've been on the merry go round for too long. The ups don't last, the downs don't last and there isn't much fulfillment to speak of...unless you end up meeting someone that is really amazing to you. Then it's worth it, but then you can't do flash game and sh&t cuz that can scare them away, so gotta do the slow game. Think it boils down to where your coming from, is it just validating your worth, or are you meeting people who enhance your life?
Exactly man, I've been on the merry go round for too long. The ups don't last, the downs don't last and there isn't much fulfillment to speak of...unless you end up meeting someone that is really amazing to you. Then it's worth it, but then you can't do flash game and sh&t cuz that can scare them away, so gotta do the slow game. Think it boils down to where your coming from, is it just validating your worth, or are you meeting people who enhance your life?
Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
TrueConservative
Banned
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2011
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 0
True Conservative
I’m a True Conservative. I took a political test at my workplace in Connecticut and was the most conservative. I scored 91% conservative in the top 2% for all Americans. I have impressive conservative credentials. I even did a tea party.
I was unfairly zotted from Free Republic just over a year ago. I stated that I was very conservative in a thread. Then darkwing104 tried to lie about my stance on an issue related to the BP spill. Then 50mm started in by agreeing with darkwing104 even though he was misrepresenting me. I was a conservative, am a conservative and always will be a conservative. A true conservative, in the top 2% of all Americans.
darkwing duck is gay
darkwing duck sucks
YOU OWE ME RESPECT!!!
Danny H
life - 10/10 abortion is wrong
guns - 10/10 support no restriction on gun ownership
marriage - 10/10 man and woman only, homosexuality is wrong
healthcare - 10/10 repeal Obamacare and we need tort reform.
immigration - 2/10 since I oppose HB1070. We need the workers. The McCain path to citizenship I support.
environment - 10/10 too many regulations and global warming is a farce
Iraq, Afghanistan - 10/10 fully support the wars and our troops
Israel, middle east - 9/10 pro Israel though a war with Iran is a bit much
income tax - 10/10 tax cuts across the board
corportate taxes - 10/10 tax cuts there too
social security and such - 10/10 phase that out
I’m a True Conservative. I took a political test at my workplace in Connecticut and was the most conservative. I scored 91% conservative in the top 2% for all Americans. I have impressive conservative credentials. I even did a tea party.
I was unfairly zotted from Free Republic just over a year ago. I stated that I was very conservative in a thread. Then darkwing104 tried to lie about my stance on an issue related to the BP spill. Then 50mm started in by agreeing with darkwing104 even though he was misrepresenting me. I was a conservative, am a conservative and always will be a conservative. A true conservative, in the top 2% of all Americans.
darkwing duck is gay
darkwing duck sucks
YOU OWE ME RESPECT!!!
Danny H
life - 10/10 abortion is wrong
guns - 10/10 support no restriction on gun ownership
marriage - 10/10 man and woman only, homosexuality is wrong
healthcare - 10/10 repeal Obamacare and we need tort reform.
immigration - 2/10 since I oppose HB1070. We need the workers. The McCain path to citizenship I support.
environment - 10/10 too many regulations and global warming is a farce
Iraq, Afghanistan - 10/10 fully support the wars and our troops
Israel, middle east - 9/10 pro Israel though a war with Iran is a bit much
income tax - 10/10 tax cuts across the board
corportate taxes - 10/10 tax cuts there too
social security and such - 10/10 phase that out
Solomon
Master Don Juan
true true
It's weird that even after all these approaches I've done, I still get gass'd up and this causes you to act different were it be a "5" you wouldn't do anything different
After 3 years putting hotties OFF the pedestal isn't easy, last week I was talking these two beautiful girls, as I was talking to them. I started shaking because I was in my head thinking "wow this girls are like some of the hottest girls I've approached in awhile" its kind of ****ed up cause both of them worked at hotels but they could have been models etc lolyuppaz said:
It's weird that even after all these approaches I've done, I still get gass'd up and this causes you to act different were it be a "5" you wouldn't do anything different
I think I really questioned whether more beautiful girls were into me or not before, I've just had so much evidence to show that they were in a relatively short period of time that I don't think I'll need to do or be anything different than being me to start dating them. It really went from getting strange / mentally off balanced girls(hot or not), to getting screwed up average girls with trouble, to getting average girls with so much ease that I got tired or it, to (hopefully) getting the more beautiful girls with ease. I know it isn't my looks, or my build stopping me, and I also know that they get NERVOUS around me, (just like I did of them....haha stupid right?) so as myself and not trying too hard to put on a show, I feel like I can look past the external value now and really just be myself when I meet them and can just have normal, non- contrived or planned out convo's with them (of course using the great body language I've learned along with being more comfortable with showing my sexuality....subtly) & get to know who they really are without worrying about my real self getting any kind of "rejection" or "ego damage". After all, if I know I kick ass and she blows me out off the cuff without knowing me, doesn't that possibly say something bad about her? That's really her ego / fear coming through, but the way things have been so much more chill without trying that hasn't been an issue much lately. Will let you all know how things are going as they progress!!!!!
OKAY - so since I've been doing my best to be an anonymous bastion of honesty, I wanted to go over some thoughts and experiences from this past week. Experiences first. I went out with a buddy to this local event on the First Friday of the month. It was okay at first. This bartender I was kinda feeling before must have felt rejected by me from the last time I came in, I didn't make an effort to go talk to her like I should have. My buddy opened a set at some couches but we couldn't hear them and they couldn't hear us, so didn't go far. Then went and sag karaoke at this place we like. Met a bunch of girls there, was teasing them a little and having fun, they seemed to be feeling it, they liked the way me and my boy sang etc. After a while I went to go smoke and come back in and these pretty muscular jar heads were all over their table kind of blocking them in, in a way. Posture was way too aggressive and I could tell these girls were a little shy(ish) when I was talking to them earlier. They bailed like a couple minutes after I saw that. The guys were too much. Hung there for a bit and another buddy of mine who I was trying to teach to be better with women came with his girl and this other guy from a bbq I remember. I didn't like the guy because he was callous about getting a girls number I was talking to, who I didn't follow up with / on that night because she had just been fired from her work and was in a bad way. I did the right thing, I felt and this dude didn't give a sh*t. He said he dated her for a while. He prob f*cked her and dumped her....so lame. Anyway I got pissy at that point and I had told my boy I didn't like the guy before (for doing that) and he brought him anyway. So things get stale there and we decide to go to another spot. In the spot, my buddy I'm trying to teach starts using stupid canned openers to open girls up....for me. He thinks he's the sh*t for going to some stupid Style boot Camp....all he really seemed to learn was some techniques...which I'm trying to get him away from, so I was kinda salty about it. Anyway he opens a bunch of sets based on his opener and throws me in there to follow up on it. I do fine, but each of the girls is there with their boyfriends. It was weird, I've never been in that many sets so fast, but did like getting back into the grove of just having fun convos with girls. All the girls were pretty fine and I was pretty comfortable. Had a few really nice compliments from these girls. Next night, we went out to this club having a swimsuit competition. I was pretty much killin it, just having fun etc. being myself completely around really hot girls and they were loving me for it. Was given this mister thing and I was running around spraying them with it. Lots of them kept on coming back to me to talk. I admit I didn't escalate much at all with them, but the little revelation I got was that I need to be the one taking action in my environment, moving people and situations around me vs. being reactive to others. I'm so much better / happier when I am the active one. Really fine girls were blatantly flirting & touching me, which was cool.
Also right now I'm reading through this seducing women write up by some stripper chick from YEARS ago. It's pretty much brilliant and true in my experience. Going to go through the whole thing. Also one of the swimsuite models was a chick I know who's into me who is going to re-intro me to my dime (another model). GREAT in to have the friend talk all good about me. She'll know me, we were eye f*cking each other when she was on the runway a couple weeks ago.
Also right now I'm reading through this seducing women write up by some stripper chick from YEARS ago. It's pretty much brilliant and true in my experience. Going to go through the whole thing. Also one of the swimsuite models was a chick I know who's into me who is going to re-intro me to my dime (another model). GREAT in to have the friend talk all good about me. She'll know me, we were eye f*cking each other when she was on the runway a couple weeks ago.
I went to a funeral for a friend from highschool this weekend. I saw a bunch of guys and girls I knew from back in the day at the after party thing. It was cool to see them all again. It's been a while in some cases. I was surprised to find out that a lot of them were still living at home with their parents and were still just about partying. One girl that I will see out occasionally was there. She was super into me, and I was feeling her too. I was pretty open with her, talked about just about everything including, pretty deep stuff on some occasions. We made plans to get together this coming Wed. night (because I'm in the gym Mon, Tue, Thurs, Fri) and she said she works on weekends. When she was leaving I offered to walk her to her car. It got weird because my friend who died's half brother was there and apparently offered to walk her to the car too. He was getting her number and sh*t right in front of me, she was trying to deflect to facebook (she didn't want to put me off..I think). But because he was saying he wanted to make friends she probably felt obligated. What a **** sucker this guy was, we were obviously feeling each other at the party she mentioned a couple times "wow two guys walking me out" to dissuade him and he still came. I got to the gate and just couldn't deal with the awkwardness and told them I need to refill my cup, gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye and reminded her about Wednesday. THAT's when it got kinda f*cked up. She says "Oh yea we'll get coffee or something". I'm thinking....wtf? okkkkay so now your trying to not make it look like we had DATE plans to go out in front of him....ummmm because what you want to get laid or something (the guy is just visiting from California...so what else could it be?)? That threw me off, maybe she didn't want to dash his hopes on that bad day or something....I don't know. I know he came back in relatively quickly after he walked her. If it wasn't for his brother dying recently I would have put a stop to it, but seriously his callousness / tactlessness blew me away. Now tonight I was planning on calling her back, my sister in law thought it best to not mention the incident because it really was an awkward position for her to be put in...but she did give him the eye and the coffee thing....hmmmm bothers me and if a different situation I would just delete her number at that point. We'll see.
On the other hand I'm seeing this girl from Oregon and since she moved back to Hawaii I haven't done anything with other girls. The problem is that she's really good to me, but it just overweight, and I really don't like it. I didn't promise exclusivity or anything so I guess I don't have a reason to feel bad. She did tell me she is going to get serious about weight loss and apparently was like a size 0 up until college. She would be really hot if she got back to that size.
On the other hand I'm seeing this girl from Oregon and since she moved back to Hawaii I haven't done anything with other girls. The problem is that she's really good to me, but it just overweight, and I really don't like it. I didn't promise exclusivity or anything so I guess I don't have a reason to feel bad. She did tell me she is going to get serious about weight loss and apparently was like a size 0 up until college. She would be really hot if she got back to that size.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.