Yuppaz Field Reports of Trials and Tribulations

[MAN_OF_TOMMOROW]

Any new addition to the War Report over the weekend?

 

[yuppaz]

8/27

Ok, so I just learned a f*cking difficult lesson. Haven't really approached much lately, probably a huge mistake to make because I was focusing on a oneitis (apparently). So the Persian princess f*ckin friend zoned me yesterday. I thought she was really into me, sent all kinds of signals, told me she was sorry if she wasn't pretty enough for me. We went out to a movie a while back, and have probably been in way too much communication since then. I thought I had her chasing me. We were planning to go out Friday, she sent me an email asking if I still wanted to, I told her a bunch of stuff that we would do (would have been a nice night). She text me back later "Mind if we do something more platonic instead?" I called her saying wtf? And she said she had only been interested as friends from the start. F@#$&^*%&^*&^*&^*&^!

That's what I get for neglecting potentials and catching oneitis.....f*ck!

She said that she didn't feel any sexual feelings towards me..... I wasn't sexual at all with her, I sensed some hesitancy, like maybe she was gay or something.

 

[yuppaz]

So I started teasing the Persian sexually and having her call me "Giant Gorilla Penis" in texts and on the phone. Went out with her to dinner last night, wanted to keep it dutch, did that and she was explaining to me how I wasn't in her league....ouch...but I shrugged it off and told her I didn't believe her and wasn't phased by it. Teased her a LOT, told her not to smile too big, it makes her wrinkles come out etc. But the big f*cking problem was that I was still intimidated by her beauty....still still still.... I had an opening to make a move, touched her a lot and didn't kiss her. At the end of the night I put a cigarette in my pants and told her to grab that one, she went for the pack and I told her no, take this one. She got upset and wanted to go. I dropped her off at home and got a hug, kissed her neck. She got out and strutted her ass on the way up the stairs.


I really need to figure out how to get over this beauty thing, it's keeping me from getting what I want in a big way. Can approach the hotties, but now hard to seal the deal, because I get freaking mesmerized and intoxicated by their looks. Maybe it just takes time to get over this.

Planning on spinning more plates soon, pretty sure this one is blown and even though we click well, found out that she lied to me about seeing guys, she was seeing two guys.

 

[macallik]

just keep tryina spin the hotties and it'll come eventually

 

[yuppaz]

Don't know what the deal is with the Persian. I ignored her on Sat, she ends up texting me, saying hey Rockstar, hows it going? then tells me she's going to the gym etc. I tell her I'm watching a beautiful sunset and describe it a bit, then tell her I'm going to this festival thing that I asked her to come to earlier and she declined. Feeling like I'm solidly in the FZ, kinda getting over the chase with her, if she so clearly told me that I was in the FZ, even though she did appear to flirt a little bit later.... I just don't know wtf....beautiful girl, but has already lied to me and lead me on, prob not worth it. Maybe a distant friend or something...Prob here was that I put too much into it before getting anything into HER.

Fri night 8/28
Went to this art thing, was pretty fun. Saw this girl w/ a boyfriend that was very into me at this 80's night thing. She was purposefully ignoring me while talking to my friend, but we locked eyes quite a few times and I could tell that she wants me. I AM attracted to her, just NOT into the branch swingers at this moment.

Went about my night, just me and a friend. Eventually started having fun. It was an 80's night and they were playing 80's music. Opened a two set with
Me: How do you vogue? I can't remember
Girls: like this (showed me how to do it)
Me: sweet (starts voguing)
Girls: but you can't to THIS song!
Me: I can dance however I want. You can dance if you want 2 , you can leave this world behind
Girls: (continue the song)
All: Laugh
It was a very FUN approach, I was thinking of it as mingling, my friend wanted to open the set so I thought fug it and opened them. We talked about who is auditory, visual etc. and they told us they were teachers and asked what we did, thinking we were too. I told them , yes but a different kind of teacher. They said whaaaaa? I said I'm a dating coach and my name was lee-roy jumpoanmy, and intro'd my friend as some ridiculous spanish name (and he is Chinese - & white) they laughed and I asked them their names and my target gave me her real name. I teased her about that and let her try again, next time was a decent fake name. Then one of the girls said she thought I was some kind of shaman or something because of my teacher joke and I said that I was, that I did blessings and prayed for rain. Had fun with them, asked my target what she likes to do for fun and she sais "go outside"...I laugh and the friend steps in does a better job of explaining. I tease her on her love of spinning because she puts in so much effort and doesn't get anywhere, then smile and laugh. and when everyone was getting kicked out of the area we were in, they are walking off, my friend thinks I should close, so I think wtf...ok. go up to her and tell her we should hang out sometime. She busts on me for not knowing how to use my phone and I go with it and tell her I'm used to writing on cave walls with chisels instead, get her number.

Next day (better 4 me to NOT wait 3 days at FIRST)
Ran into her later that night and we talked a little about how she and her friend speak in Canadian accents when they brush guys they don't like off, we role played a little etc. I told her her accent was terrible, then smiled and left.

Next afternoon I text her:

Hey Drama Queen (she teaches drama), was fun meeting you and your friend last night. When are you free to hunt buffalo on stationary bikes

To which she replies hours later, (in a very long reply that she just got out of a long term relationship on Monday, and is still hurting pretty bad from it, but would like to try again later with me.

I wait a while and reply back that I appreciate her opening up and being vulnerable with me and that I have had my share of ltr's and know the drill, and while I wouldn't want to be a rebound boy that if she wants to escape and just hang out that would be cool.

She sais thanks for understanding and "ok" to hang out etc.

 

[yuppaz]

Mon 8/31

Wow about 20 minutes after I published my last report a temp that I saw out Friday stopped by and apologized for not introducing me to to her friends on Fri. She was out with some guy that night (who apparently was not her husband....wtf?). She comes by office and is dressed very nicely, with makeup on and her hair nice comes and leanes up against the chair I'm on and touches me while she is apologizing. I tell her it's no problem, met a lot of people that night, tell her there is an 80's thing on Wednesdays that I used to go to if she's into it. etc. She wants my d&ck & OR (prob both) doesn't want her reputation tarnished for her basically obviously telling me she was married but a cheater....good f*cking lord some women are a trip.

 

[yuppaz]

8/31
Went to the gym,
Trainer girl was there, was doing dips next to her while she was in a training session. Her hair was up and she was wearing glasses when I first got there. After she noticed me and I went to get a drink of water, the hair came down. Later after her session was done w/ client the glasses came off....so she's still attracted, but things aren't moving forward. I don't know what to make of her.

8/31 post gym -
Went to this vitamin shop to show my friend saw a cute chick there. Curly dark hair, big eyes, nice body. Was trying to figure out how to open her / if I wanted to open her and my friend came by. I walked past her and said this guy is all trying to get me to take off my shirt and I don't even know him...and to protect me, she laughs and goes on about her business. I walk around the store with my friend and point out some good stuff for him, girl is still there looking at lotions, I came back and asked her what she was looking for, she said "lotions" and was telling me the stuff she tried to smell. She said one smelled like an old man etc. we smelled a bunch of stuff together as I was trying to help her find something. Did it for quite a while, after a while she thought she heard me say "Semen" so I ran with it and said that I did say semen and that one of them smelled like old hippy semen. I had to piss so I said "Is that the one you are going to wear for me, when we go out?" She said "ohhh sneaky" (as in the whole thing was a sneak to get her number) I said, no I'm a good boy, we'll have fun. and told her "what's ur number?" XXX-XXX-XXXX (this one was from Texas).

9/1 - Went to eat at this steak place and saw this really cute girl I always see there moving some boxes. I tease her and say "what's in there, bricks? You must be really strong" She sais "no, it's plates, but if it was bricks I WOULD be strong"..I laugh and take a phone call, later go inside and tell her my order, and she asks for my name, I tell her and ask for hers, she gives it to me. I ask her if she owns the place, she says yes. I ask her how she likes it, she sais "It's steady and I like that"...so she values security in some way...need to close or find out more about her and get something going, she's very hot.

 

[yuppaz]

9/1 - So I invited the Persian to come over to my place, to hang out and play super mario 3 (lame) and do some grecko-roman wrestling. When we were talking, I was saying sh*t like I'm going to get up in her guts, telling her I was good in bed etc. Then she was asking me if I was going to do anything stupid if I came over, I told her I can't make any promises...she seemed actually concerned so I told her I would keep my hands to myself if she would. She tells me she needs to take a shower, I tell her she should just take one over here with me, etc. So I layed it on pretty thick, but in a playful manner. I just wanted her to associate sex with me....basically 2 avoid the real friends zone....

Pick her up, we stop off to get a cigar and some beer, we get to my place, I invite her in we get a beer and go on the balcony to talk for a while, she is sitting next to me on the porch swing, kinda close(ish). We talk about all kinds of sh*t, she's actually fun to talk to, I do mention stuff about my X, it comes up somehow, she asks how long ago we broke up, I tell her a year ago almost exactly. She wonders why I knew that, that it was a strange thing to remember. I tell her because she was cheating and I was keeping track, trying to figure it out, and I happened across the notes the other day. Told her I felt like I had to know for sure to break it off, she told me I didn't need to do that, I told her because of my kid I thought I did.

I tell her I think my eyelashes are longer and more beautiful then hers (just a running joke...me teasing her because she thinks so much of herself...she is VERY hot though) I look into her eyes closely and tell her that hers aren't bad though and that she is NOT ugly and that I actually saw a picture of a Persian girl online or something and she had some similar features. It was interesting that earlier in the night before she was coming by I told her I wanted to get over being intimidated by her beauty, when she said she looked a wreck I said "Good, that will help me". Then when I picked her up she looked beautiful, makeup everything, I said "What the hell?" She knew what I meant and said it was a Persian thing, that I should see some of her relatives, won't leave the house without heels on. Think she got the compliment though and liked it.

Anyway, we are sitting on the chair, saying things like that, she is biting the cigar and it comes apart in her mouth, she's wiping tobacco on her bare leg. She tells me used to play the clarinet and that people that do that are good kissers etc. she showed me how her tong was on her lips when she played and told me a story about when she was younger and got kicked out for missing two practices. I told her Gemini's were good kissers too. She bit the cigar and I told her "hey it's a good thing you friend zoned me, looked at my d*ck and said OUCH, your a biter".....She went to the bathroom and came back a few minutes later scratching her new fish tattoo on her hip I wanted to see it again, she was holding her pants down a bit and I got up close and was touching it, I told her, "Hey, you shave! Good girl" she laughed a little, I said "Kind of like being here" .... down near her pvssy that was...and she got false indignant with me, backing away and she called me that redneck guy from the Simpsons. I was also false indignant and was like OHHHH maaaan, so I'm the redneck guy from the simpsons, whaaaaat? Went back inside. We talked a lot about how we were, I gave her the impression that I can have whoever I want and date a lot of beautiful women, but am very picky about it. Beauty isn't enough, there needs to be more. She was basically talking about the guys she hooked up with, even very recently and basically how she gets around.......... I've been sweating a chick that f*cks around a lot and has for a long time. I didn't show it outwardly, but I was very disappointed. I really thought I liked this girl, she tells me she wasn't into me because she only dates super model type guys, implying I wasn't it, so I start going off with truth about my success with women. I'll continue this in a bit, there is a lot I learned about this situation that I want to get into.

 

[yuppaz]

So somewhere in the conversation of dating came up and I mentioned that I dated a lot or whatever and she tells me all about all these guys etc. AND this guy she was just fooling around with a couple days ago. Apparently his game was basically standing her up... They planned to meet 25 times or so and only got together like 4 times...but just the other night she f*cks the guy, all the while I'm left holding my d*ck thinking....wow she's really hot AND she's smart...maybe I REALLY LIIIIKE HER.... At some point in that convo, I tell her that I'm starting to consider going for the slightly less beautiful girls, less to deal with..less hassles so instead of going for my 10, I would go for my 8, less competition to worry about, someone that likes to do stuff during the day etc. She got very upset about this and told me I shouldn't say that and it makes me look like I have the problem and that it's happened to her in the past and didn't think it was a fair stereotype. If she wasn't interested, then why the f*ck would she get so upset about that? I also told her about this trainer girl and what she did with her look when she saw me, and asked her what she thought her game was, I did a great job with all the details and I think she was getting jealous. I never made a move, but hinted at sleeping in my bed etc. She even looked at my bed and asked me why I had satin sheets, and said that it get's all sweaty while your f*ckin, told her that's what the a/c was for and that it felt good naked after your done. It was a very sexually open conversation, but I NEVER MADE A MOVE....think it was because of the premise that I was going to keep my word that I gave her on the phone.

Later I was taking her home in the car and I say something complimentary and she pats me on the arm, like a buddy. I immidiately start rubbing her thigh like I'm taking her home to f*ck her and she lightheartedly asks me "huh?", I say wtf was that little friendly arm tap all about and look at her like she's an idiot. she was ok with my rubbing her thigh.
a bit later she asks me:
"So you just wanna f*ck beautiful women?" - I alluded to that earlier
I said no "I wanna f*ck beautiful interesting women"
and she got a bit quieter.

Took her home and sit in the car for a couple minutes talking she comes in for a kiss on the cheek, I had the feeling she would have done more. Before she leaves I tell her that I am completely over being in intimidated by her beauty, and smile. She smiles big and tells me good night.


SOOOOO that was the night I never made a f*cking move. I DID eventually get over her looks, which was hard for me, but it was ok after a while, I touched her face, by her eyes, I touched her hips and peeked at her nanji, blatantly rubbed her thighs etc. but I never actually made a move. I think I was really bothered by her seeming like she gets around so much, but who am I to judge, honestly. A big part of my life right now is dedicated to doing exactly what she's already doing. Part of me thinks that I don't think I can compete, part of me thinks I wouldn't ever have any control or any awe factor and I don't like it, and part of me wants to bend her over and f*ck her silly. She was honest with me after I played the tack of trying to get her jealous to get her interested, she wasn't honest at first...she appeared to know all the rules of how to manouver in the night club world and f*ck pretty much a lot of people, she readily admits to basically being a slut....but she wants to be my FRIEND? I can't bang her when everyone else can, and do I really want something like that just because it comes in a pretty package. I honestly do like talking to her, but I don't like that side of her even a little. Do I actually want someone more innocent, seems like this is exactly the kind of girl that many guys here would love to just bang and bail...why do I put her so high on this pedestal? Is it because of the amount of effort I've put in so I could put in?

 

[yuppaz]

9-3-09
Text lotion girl:
Was fun picking out lotion with u the other day...well the first 100 was fun, then the next 200 was a bit tedious
-Yuppaz

that was in the afternoon, she replies back later in the evening:
Hey yuppaz
Sorry for the RIDICULOUSLY late reply but ive had such a long 2 days &I'm just now catching a break! thanks for helping me smell like a hippie
Next day I text her:
No problem, sounds like you've been a busy girl...Hey when r u free 2 get a drink & field test your new hippie scent?

no reply yet (next day 9/4)

9-4-09

So at around 3:00 ish I invite Persian to go to this First Friday / Art thing. She tells me she has to let me know later, she already had plans with a friend. I tell her that it's cool. Later that night around 8:30 ish I text her asking her if she's gonna be able to make it, she tells me she got all stoned and forgot to do her thing, and that she'll call me back later. Later she calls back and basically wants to know what I'm doing, I tell her I'm just chilling. We talk for a little bit some chick was almost trying to steal her bag and she's pretty amped. I ask her about it then try to be jovial and
tell her we should get bats and brass knuckles and bail the thieves, when they try to steal from us we beat them senseless. She says "that's not funny", and basically tells me she's gonna go.

I was confused and after a few minutes text her and ask her if she felt unsafe and if she needed a ride (I know this isn't something I would normally do, but don't want the girl to actually get hurt or anything). She said no, she wasn't scared and good night.
I apologize if I said something that made her upset. She says, I'm still mad good night
I say "good night gorgeous"
The next morning she tells me "I wasn't scared, have a good day"
I call her right after she texts me and ask her if she's still upset, she tells me that it wasn't because she was scared. I ask her what it was and she tells me that I was teasing her by talking about gangster stuff and brass knuckles and that she felt like I think of her as some gangster girl. I told her that I didn't make that association and I was just fooling around, not teasing her at all, and that I don't think of her like that. She tells me she has to work extra because of her sisters wedding, basically implying she can't hang out today. I say, ok have a good day. I think she could tell that I was kind of pissed about the lack of fairness with her conclusion etc. She seems like she is just sensitive and I need to be aware of any bias I might have towards her past...thinking about it she was right, I do make that association and it really isn't fair. The worst association though isn't that, but the idea that she's been around the block so much. She seems to be hanging out with quite a few guys, so what's special about me to her? Why should I invest (I am already investing wayyyyyyy too much emotionally in her as is completely obvious with this log and those prior). I'm also in a very bad spot right now. My son is leaving in 3 months, actually moving to another state, and when you live in Hawaii it might as well be another world. I'm all f*cked up over it and I could care less about my game, but at least it's a distraction. It would also be good to have someone around though while I go through this, but the temptation to connect to whatever I can is already too high, I'm latching on when I shouldn't. I'm f*cking latching onto someone who friend zoned me....pathetic..... It's strange though, she def has red flags galore, but she is alluring in that she is out of reach, but not so much so...she seems to actually care about me, occasionally mentioning "friends" but then says things like "I like persistence" and doesn't seem uncomfortable with me touching her...and in cases like this, acts like a girlfriend would. Also doesn't actually seem to mind when I mention things about sex between me and her....the idea I really don't like with this one is that I've put in so much work with someone who prob. just puts out like nothing and in the end, we may not even be sexually compatible etc. The most difficult thing about this position is that I'm in such a bad place in my life to be here in this spot, FZ with someone I'm attracted to and put a lot of time in with no sex.

 

[yuppaz]

Haven't posted anything in a while now. Lately I have,kt been feeling very good emotionally. My son was going to move to Georgia in a few months, finding that out really f@cked me up and made me feel depressed. I've followed up with some older plates but they can tell that somethings wrong. You can't depend on women to make you feel better when something in your life is affecting you, I'm finding. It's not necessarily that my belief in myself is waning (well maybe I let the Persian exp. Screw me up somewhat too much), but moreso that this other thing in my life affects me, makes me unhappy and it is written all over my face, in my words in texts etc. They can allways tell how I feel. And even though physically my body is looking very good and my face looks great 2 because of having much lower body fat (saw my 6-pack for the very first time this week) I am less attractive because my emotions are thrown right now. I'm not going to read anything dating related or approach, or even think about women in that way for at least this entire week. I'm instead going to focus on finishing some things that I have been putting off like taxes, a real diet & cutting program and cleaning the hell out of my place. Also looking to taking guitar lessons again. Been a long time since I've taken lessons or even picked up a guitar. Will come back maybe Sun this week or next when I want to re-address this whole women thing.

 

[yuppaz]

Ok, so it isn't much, but did get this interesting girls card that I've wanted to get for a while now. Logistics sucked as I only had a few minutes to really see her every Monday, and she was surrounded by customers most of the time. Used what I thought used to be a friend chick as a pivot, teasing her while there and kind of knocking her (hot chick I dated a couple times way back...she totally lacked interest and blew me off as a friend to hang out so f@ck her anyway...not really a friend). Was telling the girl to not give her a cup and calling her too shy to ask for something, that she couldn't know what my secret workout powder was etc. Anyway MAYBE induced some jealousy for BOTH girls by doing that. So I tell the girl "mercy boucoup" as I'm leaving and she lights up and starts speaking in French to me. I light up and tell her how I love French and wouldn't mind getting to learn it again. Ask her if she's a tutor, or knows one, she sais that sometimes it helps to just practice talking. I say, we should get together so I can practice and she sais that would be great. I ask for her contact info and she gives me her card. I ask her how to say "see you next Monday" and she goes over it with me in French slowly, I repeat it and she is very excited. Later, more jealousy plotlines as my yoga instructor comes up to me, I get excited and give her a big hug and kiss on the cheek and friend girl is right there to see and so is french girl! Awesome!!!! After that I go downstairs to do yoga w/ instructor and I notice a pretty blonde french head peeking into the room at me. I look over and she bolts (that's great stuff). Funny thing was I didn't even think it was gaming at the time, just genuinely interested in the language and the rest just kind of came.....2 cool

 

[yuppaz]

This post is a serious note for myself. I've been reading a lotlolotlotlot of stuff about pickup lately (in the past year or so now) since I have become what I think is more attractive physically and so much of it seems to boil down to basically hardening up and screwing with emotions to get what you want, and respect, and basically a lot of personality traits to make you more attractive. Changing yourself to be more like people that do well with women. I am good at changing myself, I think of it as an art form, I can mimic quite well, even energies. The problem is that it's not possible (for me) to feel good about being someone else to get what I want. And if I don't feel good about it, I can't continue it with any real effort.

I read a post by DBOT about unconditional love, and a lot of things clicked into place in my mind in a powerful explosion of understanding.

I'd been told many times in many overt and covert ways that life is all love and energy. I can even tell myself when energy is blocked and because women are emotional / energy mirrors to some degree I knew that something was off with me in the past XX months or so, because they weren't feeling me at all and were shying away. I knew that my energy was blocked. Probably because of my son possibly leaving to move to a different state with his mom, it really hurt me I was closing myself off even from him emotionally to dampen the pain to come. I live on an island and he would have been going to Georgia, so it would have been almost zero relationship after he moved, the fear of the pain was very destructive.

I also knew that I felt extreme disappointment with women and this whole new lifestyle not working for me yet. I was very bitter and resentful of women in general for not living up to my expectations. I think the reason for that was that I forgot something VERY key when it comes to women. I had expectations a man has for other men, not that a man should have for women. I forgot that women have a biological need to sleep with different men and that I was coming from a place of ownership of them, which actually bucks their nature instead of just liking them for what they are. I don't need to believe in the AFC fantasy that first comes love, then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage. I think I got it at first after I read Tyler Durdens piece on the secret society, but then after reading DBOTs post about UCL, then finding out that one of his mentors is likely Johnny Soporno, and seeing the numerous references to mans need to control women being biologically unnatural...AND....why is this so important to be mentioned by all these guru's? AND this also clicked...I wondered why do I feel so pressured to have "somebody" in my life... why am I playing out this whole scene of what is SUPPOSED to be for me. Isn't that putting a LOT of PRESSURE on me to somehow perform yet another role and risk more disappointment?

Combine that sentiment with the sentiment of why unconditional love is a much better and more honest way of living and feeling good about it and I have the following NEW and IMPROVED recipe:

I need not PERFORM
I need not IMPRESS
I need not CONTROL
I seek only the moment
I seek only those that enrich my life as I enrich theirs
I need not fear to express my love
I need not fear to be exactly who I am, and bare my soul...for those that love me as I love them in kind will love WHO I am...
I give and know I will receive in kind.

 

[yuppaz]

Haven't done any reports for a while. Still dating, tried playing a bit of the Johnny Soporno angle with a couple, I don't want a gf I'm already f*cking a bunch of girls all the time, works with some so far...haven't tried it with anyone I'd really be into.

So I wanted to post because something interesting happened tonight. This Chinese girl that I met at Sams club when buying condoms a while ago kept spamming me to go get a massage at her massage spa place. I said **** it and went tonight. She was totally attracted to me at first but I called her and asked her to get a drink and she got into how she only wants rich guys etc. I told her that was pretty ridiculous considering that she didn't know anything about me...and basically deleted the number. Ok, so months later she texts spams me, I go down to the place and she is obviously very attracted to me telling me I look really good etc. etc. I think she looks good too and tell her that. I play a bit coy and let her be the aggressor a bit. So shes giving me a massage and keeps rubbing my ass a lot...like more then usual and my inner thighs, gently brushing my balls. At one point I know my **** was sticking out big time where she could see it and I had major wood...so that was good. She has me flip over and I'm pitching a tent. anyway...I didn't make a move when I was getting a massage because I have been too aggressive in the past and wanted to slow it down but not stop. So she finishes...she keeps asking me if I want to take a shower. I do. Before I go in i'm standing in a towel only talking to her while shes in her office area. I'm going in and call out to her (basically from nowhere) "do you want to join me?" She get's a nervous laugh and sais that it's late and that she had a long day...I let it go and tell her I'll be right back. I take a shower and come out, put on my clothes. Come out and talk to her a little more about her art. give her a few hugs, she tells me that she wants to give me a long slow relaxing massage next time, I tell her ok. I take her hand and tell her to take me out. holding my hand she follows. I give her a hug and tell her that felt really good and that she was adorable, I go in for a kiss...she shy's away like she's nervous. I tell her give me one on the cheek she does it. I tell her goodnight and leave...we're both smiling at each other while I'm leaving. Granted didn't f*ck the girl...I probably could have if I ushed the interaction, but this slow seduction will be fun. Plus if she's thinking about my d*ck she's gonna give some great massages and will probably just hop on for the ride at some point. Pretty girl, little chubby, not a lot but pretty pretty face and sexy as f*ck.


Crazy world

 

[yuppaz]

It's been forever (again) since I've done a FR. Not going to get into too many specifics, but this past weekend was notable. 3 numbers on Sunday with ease, then 1 last night (girl at Blockbuster, very interested and VERY nervous around me). Here are some of the things I'm finding are very important to my success:

Getting out of my head, without focusing on getting out of my head. In other words, just being ok with how things are in general. Gaming without state. Why that's important is that when I follow up I don't have to pump my state at all, I'm just me and I'm congruent.

I have inherently created a way of dealing with women by default being dominant, but also kind and respectful and sensitive when the situation calls for it. I've also let my humor come out and shine and the more clear headed I am by not needing state the more I realize that these girls really like me and I don't really have to try for that, just vibe with them and have a fun conversation, then when it comes to plans or whatever I tell them what to do vs. asking them. Simple and it meshes with me.

Something new that I realize I've been missing is adding sexuality and romance to the interactions. I didn't know how before, but now I make them laugh and then throw in some innuendo. Get them thinking about sex as if I'm joking, then when they play along with it I can go strong and dominant sexual. In texting this has been THE key. Funny, sexual innuendo (or blatant, or just call hers a sexy lil ass), in person I check her out blatantly and move and speak slowly, but I won't use the words...only actions. Reason for the text / phone thing is I read some PUA blog where he read a study that in IM people usually turn sexual asap, and the reason people don't respond in text is because it's boring, so being sexual and funny is not needy or boring or wanting but arousing and interesting, and most importantly it gets them to associate sex and fun with ME I need to work on day two's with strong dominance and fun and sexy but if I continue down this path I already see an enormous world opening up to me. A vendor chick trying to sell me a firewall is coming to visit with a friend to have multiple 3somes with me because of this, a cold fish from the past prob wants my d*ck and a regular is basically doing whatever I want just to be around me. Oh and the 4 new possibilities from the last couple days may pan into something as well.

 

[yuppaz]

Wanted to note a few things that I've noticed this past week.

Was feeling very good and very sociable this past weekend and started getting out of my comfort zone and started having success without trying, then out of seemingly nowhere my nemesis shows up, that deep dreading nasty fvck of a voice inside of my head that places a seed of doubt in my mind whenever I feel I am being successful. I'm vary aware of the internal state change and am trying to figure out why it is there and what I can do about eliminating it from my psyche (sp?). Consciously I want to succeed and just be banging all the hottest of the hotties w/ out effort but this feeling is my saboteur. Will try to catch it and do some psycho cybernetics stuff to see if I can get back to me well - being internally self validated and successful self. An example of effect was last night saw a plate I have a date with on Sat and wasn't expressive and self validated really, more so I was in my head and approval seeking (luckily I noticed it and bailed a bit early on). I WAS able to show my sexuality without being a perve, though so that was good and we did still flirt and had some fun, but the overall theme was bad.

 

[yuppaz]

One more thing. In the past I have been guilty of getting numbers and not contacting. I am proud to say that I contacted every girl that I got a number from. I called the big tittied Philipina, but ummmm was weird I think I insulted her. Was just teasing about age and think that she didn't get it and thought I was insulting her. She said she would call me back after I told her I want to take her out to thank her for helping me find a shirt, no call. I just want to *** on her big titties...lol

Texted Chinese girl I met at International Market Place (weak to text but there wasn't a great rapport so oh well) - she responded a day later, laughing at my joke. I sent one back a number of hours later.

Texted Sandwich girl w/ boyfriend twice, one was "Your sandwich was melt-in-your-mouth delicious" and the next day texted "was just thinking of u gorgeous eyes, what u up to?" - no response, will call later and try to seduce her with my voice, just wanna fvck her really and look into her eyes while I *** in her.

Blockbuster girl didn't call but I fvcking KNOW she was into me, that one could be a def winner, she wasn't my idea of a ten, but she likes movies and would be a fun mellow chick to poke from time to time....seemed like a sweet girl really.

Setup a date with cold fish (the one mentioned in previous post) I'm going to be aggressive with escalation and try to give her a back massage and fvck her. Beautiful eyes but 40, also very sweet girl.

So it's a full and fun weekend of sex and cleaning and hopefully tanning, hiking and new plates (this time going to spend more time in the initial interaction)

 

[yuppaz]

Ok, so a little night game tonight. Was different because I haven't played in a while, and never very well to be perfectly honest. Tonight was no different, went to First Friday in downtown, cool venue lots to look at. Walked around for a while, didn't talk a lot but did poke a little fun here and there, got decent responses. Then ended up going to a club called SOHO. I have NEVER done well their, tonight was no exception. Plenty of hotties but LOTS of distractions and my wing sucked (girls shy away because they can sense that he's needy), he used to be the man until he lost his confidence. Anyway didn't make much impressions despite looking great and feeling great, I was pretty relaxed and had fun for the most part only decent set I had was when a couple cuties came up to me when I was smoking a cigg. I played with them for a while. Making them work for it and called the hottest one a wicked evil girl. They were cool, chill girls, were with some guys though (6'5 220 kind, and handsome...yup I noticed, doesn't make me gay...ahahaha). So I reaLly didn't push it too much. They went in the club, saw them again inside and the cute little one sais hi. I shake her hand all cool like and make the sexy one do a finger snap handshake that she ****ed up at first. That was it nothing moew really. Loud club game makes it hard for me to make a good, strong impression. Even the ugly girls get tons of attention so I don't really stand out much. Blah blah. Did have a lot of girls checking me out though, so it wasn't looks OR being in my head...progress. I really do need to find a good wing.

 

[yuppaz]

So last night was St. Patties day, and I was on fire. I was scruffy and unkept (believe it or not it was on purpose). I was at a block party in Downtown Honolulu. There were some beautiful girls there last night. I was with my ****ty wing and his little troll friend, and although the night was going very well and was all about the excitement and the love, my wing and his little troll follower were like a vacuum for good vibes, and my wing completely blew it for me. I think it boils down to jealousy. I've honestly tried to bring my wing into the fold and really help him in his life, but instead of trying to face some fears and grow, he'd prefer his comfort zone and alcohol to help him grow the balls to meet women. It's a real shame, I have been thinking about this in the past due to the way he acts, but he's fvckin fired as a friend and fired as a wing for sure. Last night I picked him and his friend up to go to the block party, I say happy St. Patties to some hotties on the way in my nice car, they all stop and smile at us and say the same and start to ask where we are going etc. My fvckin wing blows it, yelling something stupid about WHEREVER or something before I can even open them....dumb. Then on the way there, I was telling him about this guy that is basically homeless and living in Waikiki that I met at a bar last weekend and how they were getting lots of attention and pulling chicks like mad, and he says something contradictory like Oh was that the guy you were all gay with...I'm getting annoyed already and say "ya, I gave him a bj" (sarcastically of course ). Later in the night he opened some average girl and I'm talking him UP, trying to make him look good. I wing her friend and get the group laughing etc. I might have teased his target a little too much, and she hit me on the arm, but I backed off before she got too into me and focused on the friend instead. I was slyly trying to get him away from discussing fvcking C-sections and midwifing for god sakes, trying to tell him to move her to another spot, basically trying to help him out. I go to the porta potty area and was flirting with this one fine, and VERY funny girl, I really had a thing for her energy, it was great! So I come out and talk to her a bit more, then tell her laughing the whole time WITH her that I'm not going anywhere because I want to stay in touch with her. She comes out, I'm with my wing and she's playing like she won't gimme her number, just having fun. I got that and liked it and was playing back, when my wing starts saying sh*t like (give him a fake number), just make one up. I look at him like WTF? and then ignore it and say sorry what was it again, she starts making up another number (playing) and my wing whispers something in her ear, she changes from smiling to frowning and just walks away without another word. I ask him "what did you say to her?" and he tells me "I told her to give me her number later"...Then h e goes "She wasn't gonna give it anyway", then I'm like "Why did you do THAT?" and he wanders off and mumbles something about being drunk. I just left. I've had it, that's enough with him, he is officially a star wars X-wing to me.

Forgot to add that at one point his little troll friend (who I was also trying to be cool with btw) was being cool and bought a beer for me and my wing (didn't cost him anything he had some token things) when he got back, he gave beer to friend who then proceeded to give it to the average girl he opened instead of me. fvck head

 

[yuppaz]

ok, so for the past few months I was hooking up with this chick from work. Tall, very sexy but had some real self esteem issues. It was really freaky for me because it was someone from work and I'm high up in my co, and that kind of thing is frowned upon here, so it was all very secretive etc. It didn't work out in the end and I'm hoping that she'll respect my privacy. Was her decision to stop spending time together, not mine (though in a lot of ways I wanted to end it due to her jealousy and living really far away with no car, and her self esteem issues...but MOST importantly because she really freaked me out toward the end, she wanted me to *** inside her and later wanted to move into my spare room as a roomate). She is coming up on some stressful stuff in her life and I can see why she wanted that, but it's just going to far, too close to a live in GF for my tastes. She may have just wanted security from me the whole time, I don't think it 100% but there is a doubt there. So seeing her around work is a little odd but she hasn't gotten me in any trouble yet, hopefully things stay that way. At the end I played the part of being sad to see her go to make SURE that she thinks and knows it was her decision to stop things. Anyway it's all good, it made me too nervous of being caught and she was frigid sexually, but a sweet sweet girl and I won't forget her. No foul, I'm ok with it all. I do know for sure that going forward just because someone is working as a temp does NOT make them a temp permanently. Hookups outside of work only.

Right now socially I'm not doing great. My two good friends are out of my life, one honestly used me and the other felt so inferior and or jealous that he turned on me multiple times when out (ref x-wing above). One was a very good friend, but basically his whole life was gaming and lying to everyone in all situations, it wasn't healthy to have a friend like that, but it does leave me lonely for friendship at the moment. I chit chat with the guys at the gym, they are pretty cool people and I see them a lot so that is cool, may be something there. If anyone on here lives on Oahu and needs a wing, lemme know I'm down.

Last night saw my cold fish at the gym and setup a date on the spot. She's sexually attractive to me and has big ol titties that I wanna blow my load on. We're going out Friday night to this Art After Dark thing. We've roll played via text over the past few months that she is my wife and we have three kids together and own a castle in Europe where we hump on a mink-run in front of a roaring fire. No complaints from her. Last night she called me darling and I've called her honey and walk with her w/ my arm around her and stuff. I think she's a bit shy, so I'm going to lead the whole way through. I am worried about this cat piss smell in my house because my cat had a urinary tract infection a while ago and pissed on the rug. Have done all I can to get the smell out but it won't go away. going to keep working at it, can you imagine anything worse for your game then that? how the **** can you pull to cat piss house...???

There are also two chicks in my gym that I see all the time, I know one is into me, prob both (friends) and have been doing slow push pull with them. Tease them, then later (maybe a day later) tell them how they are both looking great and to keep it up. If my Fri night girl flakes or backpeddals in any way I'm gonna nail at least one of them. I did speak with them in front of her and I think it made her jealous. Have also talked to this beauty gold digger trainer girl in front of her and think that does it as well. She deserves it she flirts with freakin everyone (or talks at least). Think it's her personality, or she may be something of an AW, but can I blame her for that? I do the same thing all the time (well I laid off for a while because of work girl, but now I'm back at it.).