"You're a nice person"

[floydb25]

Ah, but now you're generalizing. Not all shallow women are hot *****es. I've pointed this out already, and made sure it was clear. Their looks have nothing to do with it - its the kind of person they are. I know 5's and 6's who were just as bad as any 9 or 10 could hope to be. Everything from being rude, conceited, shallow, stuck up... You name it. They were still the same person.

I don't know what you really expect. Honestly. You don't want nice girls; just bad girls to lay. But then you complain that these girls are shallow, stuck up, high maintenance, rude, disrespectful, mean, hurtful, etc. That's what these hoes you're chasing after are like. These aren't good people. They are going to reject, insult, and humiliate you with extreme disrespect. They are going to laugh at you, call you ugly, say you're a loser, etc. That's what people at the bottom of the barrel who just want to **** are like. These skanks you're attracted to - this is what you have to deal with. It's all part of the package.

Being bad or chasing after those who are bad isn't peaches and roses. There's a lot of consequences for getting involved in this kind of lifestyle, and the people associated within it. It's not like bad is a free-pass to non-stop excitement and sex. There is no easy route. Bad is bad. Bad is trouble. Bad people hurt others and break hearts. There's a lot of negativity in these people, and you will suffer by getting involved with them. Hell, you already are.

This is how the people you're chasing after are like. And you're already suffering because of it. It's making you bitter and angry, destroying your self-esteem, making you hate women, etc. That's what bad people do. It's not just easy sex. These people are very shallow, cruel, and hurtful. Even if you do have sex with them - they're still going to make you feel horrible. Rejection - even if you get laid - is very commonplace. These people bring you down. It's unavoidable. You're never going to feel desired or wanted.

God ain't no fool. He knows people love to go bad, and has consequences in place for that. All the sorrow, pain, hate, etc that comes with choosing this path. Just read the Bible.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

Wow, wasn't expecting so many responses. Thanks guys.

Floyd, I understand what you're saying, but I'm not necessarily looking to attract the shallow hot b1tch type you talk about. I have enough trouble attracting a normal 5/6. (When I'm at least a 5/6 in looks...I posted my pics on here and was called "attractive.")

I understand what all of you are saying about online dating too, but there are also really isn't any other options besides online dating where I live in the Northeast. You go up to a 5 here on the street and make conversation and even if you're one of the "hot" guys she'll look at you as if you're about to murder her. It's not a very friendly place in general, and the women, even the not so good looking women, are princesses who think the world is theirs and theirs only.

I've mentioned my trip down to Virginia Beach where I could literally walk up to any girl I wanted to, legit 8/9/10s and even if she was taken or not looking to be picked up, she'd talk to me like she's known me her entire life, so I know what you're talking about NaughtyNinja.

The good news is I may be moving, but that doesn't help me now. I want to lose the V-card and as long as she's decent looking in my books and I'm not using her/misleading her, I'll go through with it. (The only options I've had the past few years were crazy warpigs on pof that sounded like Patty or Selma (Marge's twin sisters) from The Simpsons.)

I'm really just looking to demystify sex. Knowing myself, I'm convinced that 90 percent of this interest in women is just stubbornness and wanting to know what it's like to stick my thing inside a woman I find halfway decent looking.

I feel until that happens, women will continue to be an obsession in my life, and not a "normal guy obsession" but a true obsession where nothing else matters (other than family, job, etc.)

Sex is over hyped man. It's not really THAT awesome. I mean it is awesome but nothing to obsess about. I'm telling you right now that masturbating is even sometimes better. For real.. you can fantasize about any woman, look at any kind of porn/pictures of any girl you want. It still feels ****ing great. Almost as good as sex man. I think the what's best about sex is the interaction with another human, a female, naked there with you, touching your naked body. It's like a video game, exciting, fun. The whole going in and out is not as crazy as you think. After you do it the first few times you'll be like "Oh is that sex? Cool cool." - Just relax man, don't rush to lose your v's lol. It'll happen. Same for me, It just happened when I wasn't expecting it.. some hot married woman came outta no where in my life and we started seeing each other on weekends at parties and eventually we did it. Oh and by the way, almost always, sex doesn't really feel that good because the girl is usually loose. For real man, just about every girl I've fuked (which isn't many) has been a bit loose. Though the current girl (friend) I'm seeing... she's asian and she is TIGHT AS HELL. She lost her v's to me. It's the best feeling because she's so fuking tight. It slides in slowwwwly and I gotta push it in hard and slow. (I'm getting a boner now thinking about it) best pu55y I've had. But still, nothing crazy about it man, just rub off until you meet a decent girl.

 

[rhcp83]

I don't know where you get the idea I like "bad" women. When that bartender rejected me a few months ago (in fact she was the one who said "You're a really nice person, someday you'll find someone who likes you for you." after deliberately leading me on) it made me look at her as if she were a 0 on the 10 scale.

I just don't want some prude that acts like she's never been touched before and isn't interested in sex.

Snobbiness, I wouldn't put up with, even if I could get sex out of it. I will admit that sometimes I'll check out a girl who might be trouble, but if she proves to be trouble, it takes away any interest or attraction even if she wanted sex. As badly as I want sex, I would never allow myself to be talked down to/humiliated like that.

I'm realistically just looking to have sex with a woman that I think looks decent by my standards, is comfortable with her sexuality and isn't a horrible person.

This isn't to prove anything. It's hopefully to demistify sex so I can live a life that doesn't involve the pursuit of random women. The fooling around...it's all good stuff...but overrated in my book. Not worth the hassle. I can't say the same about intercourse and vaginal sex because I haven't had it.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

Ah, but now you're generalizing. Not all shallow women are hot *****es. I've pointed this out already, and made sure it was clear. Their looks have nothing to do with it - its the kind of person they are. I know 5's and 6's who were just as bad as any 9 or 10 could hope to be. Everything from being rude, conceited, shallow, stuck up... You name it. They were still the same person.

I don't know what you really expect. Honestly. You don't want nice girls; just bad girls to lay. But then you complain that these girls are shallow, stuck up, high maintenance, rude, disrespectful, mean, hurtful, etc. That's what these hoes you're chasing after are like. These aren't good people. They are going to reject, insult, and humiliate you with extreme disrespect. They are going to laugh at you, call you ugly, say you're a loser, etc. That's what people at the bottom of the barrel who just want to **** are like. These skanks you're attracted to - this is what you have to deal with. It's all part of the package.

Being bad or chasing after those who are bad isn't peaches and roses. There's a lot of consequences for getting involved in this kind of lifestyle, and the people associated within it. It's not like bad is a free-pass to non-stop excitement and sex. There is no easy route. Bad is bad. Bad is trouble. Bad people hurt others and break hearts. There's a lot of negativity in these people, and you will suffer by getting involved with them. Hell, you already are.

This is how the people you're chasing after are like. And you're already suffering because of it. It's making you bitter and angry, destroying your self-esteem, making you hate women, etc. That's what bad people do. It's not just easy sex. These people are very shallow, cruel, and hurtful. Even if you do have sex with them - they're still going to make you feel horrible. Rejection - even if you get laid - is very commonplace. These people bring you down. It's unavoidable. You're never going to feel desired or wanted.

God ain't no fool. He knows people love to go bad, and has consequences in place for that. All the sorrow, pain, hate, etc that comes with choosing this path. Just read the Bible.

He's right man. Even if you do score a lay from one of these b1tches... they'll still find a way to fuk you up mentally. But yeah, just find a decent average looking girl. Even if they're a bit chubby man. It's good practice and experience. Go for a 5 even!

 

[floydb25]

OP: Yes... Exactly. You're looking for someone perfect to **** - who just wants to ****. It doesn't work that way. All of the decent girls I've ever known were very traditional and relationship-minded. They're pretty much all married now. Never slept around. It's the hoes and skanks that just want to ****. This is their lifestyle; this is what you're going to find. Like I said, there is no easy route. You can't have the benefits of being bad while still reaping the positives and benefits of being good. That's not how life works. If you're just looking for sex - you're gonna find trash. You're being picky about something that makes no sense to be picky about. This is what you're going to find by choosing this path.

You've also mentioned many a time that you're attracted to the skanky / bad look. That's where that all came from. What you're looking for doesn't exist, dude. There are no decent skanks. Ha ha. You're just going to keep going around in circles.

 

[rhcp83]

Floyd, I like dating. I'm just not looking for someone who's going to take 7 or 8 dates to get to that point.

I understand that sex is different for women and that most women who just put out right away have severe emotional baggage/are crazy/slvts/have agendas etc., and I have no problem dating/hanging out with a woman a few times before it gets to the sex point. I just don't have time or patience for a complete prude who is going to wait 7/8 dates to get to that point, especially given the fact that she can "stop feeling it" at any given point over the smallest reason before it gets to the sex point.

Guys always say on here, when you have to wait a long time for sex, even if you get it, it usually turns out to be not worth the wait.

I may have made it sound that way, but in no way was I expecting some woman to just show up at a hotel or invite me to her place just like that.

I just refuse to date without sex. That's just friendship.

 

[Slickster]

I've seen your pics and your looks aren't your problem.

It's your attitude towards women, sex and you have self esteem issues.

Looking for an easy lay with the above issues working against you is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

You need to stop looking for sex and start working on making connections with women. Sex cannot be your top and only priority.

One of the key ingredients necessary for any woman to have sex is that she needs to feel comfortable and safe around you. You can be the best looking guy in the world but if she thinks you're creepy it isn't going to happen.

You expect to get sex from random women without doing any work on the seduction. It WILL NOT WORK as you are finding. Part of any seduction is getting to know her and making her feel comfortable enough to open up to you. Until you learn how to do this you will always be in the same place you are now.

How much work have you done learning about seduction? Learning about even just the basics? From what I have seen of your posts - absolutely none!

Have you even read the DJ Bible? What about the articles and tips on the SS homepage?

You seem to be looking for an easy fix without any work. There are countless success stories around here. Everybody learns from the same material provided on this site. As I told you before, you and I could switch bodies and I would get laid in your town tomorrow. It's not your looks!

How about some posts where you detail some approaches and conversations you have with women you meet? We can all help you with that!

You have a lot to learn. Stop whining and do something about it.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

7 to 8 dates? Hah! I'd be outta there in 3/4 dates. But that's never happened to me. I've always gotten the sex within the 3/4 dates. Even with the nice nice girls. Push to have sex man, every date you have with her, keep trying for sex. While you're making out, just grab her body, breasts, then lower your hand down there. Usually when they let you finger them, it's an opener for sex.

 

[rhcp83]

As I told you before, you and I could switch bodies and I would get laid in your town tomorrow.

If you wanted black women, warpigs, or 6s that think they're 10s, yes you could. You'd quickly move if you had the money if you lived where I did.

But you're right in general, dwelling on negatives isn't going to help anything. If I wanted it bad enough, I'd find a way.

But let me clarify like I said in my last post...I'm in no way looking for some woman to just show up at my house and say "let's have sex." I know it doesn't work that way. I'm just not having opportunities to begin with, thus why I live on pof despite knowing it's a bad site.

I will admit like I said, if I wanted it bad enough, I'd travel a bit, go in town and sarge there, but I guess maybe I don't want it that badly. You shouldn't have to climb mount everest to get a date with a 6.

"7 to 8 dates? Hah! I'd be outta there in 3/4 dates. But that's never happened to me. I've always gotten the sex within the 3/4 dates. Even with the nice nice girls. Push to have sex man, every date you have with her, keep trying for sex. While you're making out, just grab her body, breasts, then lower your hand down there. Usually when they let you finger them, it's an opener for sex."

I get "the look" after trying to feel them up even.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

Keep trying. Lower your standards a bit man. You just need to bang a chick. Forget the hotties, you won't get one. Get some average cute girl. Go on a date, kiss at the end (if you see there's attraction - you should know how to spot this) 2nd date, try make out more and possibly go for a grab at the breasts and if she's really into it, finger her or touch down there. 3rd date... do I need to explain? That's how I do it.

 

[rhcp83]

I'm really just looking to get my one lay and retire.

This is more obsession than horniness. Like I said either here or in another post, I masturbate maybe twice a month, don't look at porn anymore, and even when I'm in areas that are more women populated, don't see tons of women I like.

This is pure stubbornness. Wanting to find a woman "my type" (whether she's an average cutie, hottie, doesn't matter) and finish the deal and see what the big deal is/demystify it and hopefully if it's as overrated as people say, just move on.

The fooling around is good stuff, but nothing I couldn't live without if you told me I'd go the rest of my life without it. I can't say the same about sex since I haven't had it.

I feel like the past few years especially, but more so the past 10 years in general, women have occupied my thoughts way more than they should have. I've done everything that you can do with a girl...go on dates, watch a movie but not really watch the movie, hold hands/arms around each other in public, make out, tit feeling/svcking/fvcking, bjs, fingering...experienced heartbreak with someone I cared about (and wasn't just admiring from afar)...been flaked on, stood up, etc. . I just haven't had intercourse and it's a big goal for me. I don't care how "hot" the girl is. I'd rather have an average cutie that's hot to me than a hot girl that I don't find attractive. If she's hot and I think she's hot, different story. But my point is, I'm just looking to finish the book so to speak.

If anything, I want to be the opposite of a lot of the guys on this site. I want the pursuit of women (for sexual purposes) to mean nothing to me. And if I meet a girlfriend I actually like within the natural course of my life, great, if not oh well.

 

[sambwoy]

Ah, but now you're generalizing. Not all shallow women are hot *****es. I've pointed this out already, and made sure it was clear. Their looks have nothing to do with it - its the kind of person they are. I know 5's and 6's who were just as bad as any 9 or 10 could hope to be. Everything from being rude, conceited, shallow, stuck up... You name it. They were still the same person.

I don't know what you really expect. Honestly. You don't want nice girls; just bad girls to lay. But then you complain that these girls are shallow, stuck up, high maintenance, rude, disrespectful, mean, hurtful, etc. That's what these hoes you're chasing after are like. These aren't good people. They are going to reject, insult, and humiliate you with extreme disrespect. They are going to laugh at you, call you ugly, say you're a loser, etc. That's what people at the bottom of the barrel who just want to **** are like. These skanks you're attracted to - this is what you have to deal with. It's all part of the package.

Being bad or chasing after those who are bad isn't peaches and roses. There's a lot of consequences for getting involved in this kind of lifestyle, and the people associated within it. It's not like bad is a free-pass to non-stop excitement and sex. There is no easy route. Bad is bad. Bad is trouble. Bad people hurt others and break hearts. There's a lot of negativity in these people, and you will suffer by getting involved with them. Hell, you already are.

This is how the people you're chasing after are like. And you're already suffering because of it. It's making you bitter and angry, destroying your self-esteem, making you hate women, etc. That's what bad people do. It's not just easy sex. These people are very shallow, cruel, and hurtful. Even if you do have sex with them - they're still going to make you feel horrible. Rejection - even if you get laid - is very commonplace. These people bring you down. It's unavoidable. You're never going to feel desired or wanted.

God ain't no fool. He knows people love to go bad, and has consequences in place for that. All the sorrow, pain, hate, etc that comes with choosing this path. Just read the Bible.

Reality is very much like in the movies, because I guess younger people believe it to be the truth what happens in those things, not realising that it is all manipulated, with their old-hat, mean-spirited stereotyping, and skewering of moral rights and wrongs. The type of movies and TV we get now or recently had like Sex and the City and the teen/romantic genre I feel are more likely to turn people into nasty, violent people- not these action or horror films that down the years people have said will corrupt our young people etc.

As ghastly as many teen/romantic titles are, I do believe there are women who congregate in bars and pubs and talk about the size of your penis, and accuse men of being shallow and too looks-focussed when they are themselves.

It has blown me away how insensitive and ignorant people I have encountered are, my age and younger- older people who are maturer, and have learned more about life- dunno so much- I have been made to feel awkward for liking things outside the mainstream in REAL life and for breaking convention, like people want me to be a certain way.

It hurts a lot coming home for YET ANOTHER day, feeling so empty because you are an outcast and feel you will never fit in, and you can't cut it with the opposite sex, coming home to your elders giving you all this moronic garbage about 'oh, nobody said life was easy', and subliminally mocking me for being so miserable.

You spent most of your youth sucking authority's giant c**k, and you were told that coming out with no education meant that you were a loser and a fool and was 'throwing your life away', and yet, girls don't care if you had scientific qualifications to save the population from an asteroid collision including their snooty asses, because they'll label you a 'geek'. How charming. I am so glad I saved your arse.

Men's magazines are just so cruel parading around these hot women (some are photo-shopped I guess, but still) who you are never going to meet or get with because you are not buff enough, too old, you're a geek et al. The list goes on.

You know I'm getting psychological help because I am losing patience of being stepped on by everyone for too long.

In your adult life things are much worse because of all the lies you were told when you were younger.

Not getting girls is not a life challenge, it is society that is at fault.

 

[Mike32ct]

New England is very tough to meet women. Forget about makeouts and lays. I can't even think of a place where I can go and just have a decent CONVERSATION with a female. Some nights, I just want to go out and shoot the sh@t (ie chat) with some decent female and have a few laughs. But talking to strangers is all but forbidden. Even the bartenders are all business and often won't talk to you much unless you've been a regular for months lol.

It's all cliques and social circles here, with a few online dates thrown in. Cold approaching is very much taboo, unless you are drop dead hot. I may consider some kind of dance class as a new hobby/skill and a way to meet people.

As much as i'd like to move, I have a pretty good job here and am staying put because of the economy.

 

[Jariel]

I look "nice." Facial hair, shaved head, muscles, etc would never change that.

I disagree on that. I overcame my nice guy look by hitting the gym and bulking up. The loss of bodyfat made my features tighter and more masculine, the muscle mass gave me more of a presence and the increase of testosterone gave me a much bolder and more sexual mindset.

Hit the gym and try a high protein/moderate carb diet for just 3 months and you will notice a big change in the way you act, how you carry yourself and how people perceive you.

 

[rhcp83]

What's frustrating I guess is that there are women out there that like my look. Some don't. Like I said, I've been laughed at/given dirty looks for existing...that's the kind of place New England is...but if just a month ago I had a date/made out with a girl that I'd consider attractive (and I'm really picky) then there are women out there for me somewhere.

Like Mike32ct said, it's all social circle game here. The women I've attracted liked my look, but also liked the built in comfort and trust. I've seriously had long-lasting conversations, online and in real life, with women about mutual people we knew of, and they went giddy.

The first girl I dated, if you saw her walking down the street, the way she walks/her vibe, you'd think she was a bigtime b1tch, but you talk to her, or you introduce her to someone that you know, and she's the nicest person in the world.

People simply just want nothing to do with strangers here.

I can't speak for Boston and the big cities...I live nowhere near Boston.

The first girl I met on facebook/reconnected with her/we chatted and got along well and both found each other attractive. The second girl I dated was okcupid...one of those one in a million profiles where ours matched each others exactly and she was decent enough looking.

The girl I went on a date with a month ago, saw her at a bar, but knew who she was from high school, got her facebook/number and we went from there. (She turned out to be a psycho but that's another story altogether.) But something interesting she said...at that same exact bar, she gets guys hitting on her all the time, and never pays any attention to them. Said that she talked to me because she remembered me and knew who I was. That even if she thinks the guy is attractive, she's just out there to have fun with her friends.

I was thinking about something anyway. I'd like a girlfriend. Sure getting laid would take the edge off, but I'd like someone to talk to/hang out with/someone sane and that I'm physically attracted to.

If I really "just wanted to get laid" I would have just found some 5 on pof or okcupid and got it over with.

I think I was just looking for an easy way out. My interest in women is complicated. Yeah, I'm into a woman's looks and attraction, but it isn't necessarily to get her in bed or just to get her in bed anyway. When I see a woman I'm really attracted to, I get this rush through me. Not an AFC, teenager like rush, but a "wow it's great to be alive" type feeling. I'd like a girlfriend where by my standards I feel "There really is no one else out there for me."

And no Floyd, I'm not talking about hot skanks. I'm talking about a quality woman that I have attraction for, and would want to get to know as well.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

What's frustrating I guess is that there are women out there that like my look. Some don't. Like I said, I've been laughed at/given dirty looks for existing...that's the kind of place New England is...but if just a month ago I had a date/made out with a girl that I'd consider attractive (and I'm really picky) then there are women out there for me somewhere.

Like Mike32ct said, it's all social circle game here. The women I've attracted liked my look, but also liked the built in comfort and trust. I've seriously had long-lasting conversations, online and in real life, with women about mutual people we knew of, and they went giddy.

The first girl I dated, if you saw her walking down the street, the way she walks/her vibe, you'd think she was a bigtime b1tch, but you talk to her, or you introduce her to someone that you know, and she's the nicest person in the world.

People simply just want nothing to do with strangers here.

I can't speak for Boston and the big cities...I live nowhere near Boston.

The first girl I met on facebook/reconnected with her/we chatted and got along well and both found each other attractive. The second girl I dated was okcupid...one of those one in a million profiles where ours matched each others exactly and she was decent enough looking.

The girl I went on a date with a month ago, saw her at a bar, but knew who she was from high school, got her facebook/number and we went from there. (She turned out to be a psycho but that's another story altogether.) But something interesting she said...at that same exact bar, she gets guys hitting on her all the time, and never pays any attention to them. Said that she talked to me because she remembered me and knew who I was. That even if she thinks the guy is attractive, she's just out there to have fun with her friends.

I was thinking about something anyway. I'd like a girlfriend. Sure getting laid would take the edge off, but I'd like someone to talk to/hang out with/someone sane and that I'm physically attracted to.

If I really "just wanted to get laid" I would have just found some 5 on pof or okcupid and got it over with.

I think I was just looking for an easy way out. My interest in women is complicated. Yeah, I'm into a woman's looks and attraction, but it isn't necessarily to get her in bed or just to get her in bed anyway. When I see a woman I'm really attracted to, I get this rush through me. Not an AFC, teenager like rush, but a "wow it's great to be alive" type feeling. I'd like a girlfriend where by my standards I feel "There really is no one else out there for me."

And no Floyd, I'm not talking about hot skanks. I'm talking about a quality woman that I have attraction for, and would want to get to know as well.

I told you in private message man... you're seriously digging yourself a hole with that whole looking for a girlfriend material, good looking thing. I was seriously the same way a few years ago when I just dropped my standards, got experience with girls. The experience is good man.. you want that before you find the girl of your dreams (if they exist LOL) - you gonna sit around waiting for an angel who looks like Jessica Alba or something? That **** rarely happens man! While youre doing that you're missing out on plenty of other girls to hang out with and fool around with. I'm 28 soon and I still aint found no Jessica Alba (btw I met her in Vegas few weeks ago - meh). I gave up on that stupid fantasy. Nice girl, smart, loving, good looking, hot body... sure it might happen ONE DAY but I aint waiting anymore. It's like those hot girls you see all the time at night clubs.. they are getting older and still single, waiting for mr right. They end up being lonely because of their shallowness. Settle for an average cutie!

I have noticed the good looking girls are almost always problems anyway. I've always gotten along more with average looking girls. Cute girls. Not hot... cute.

 

[The_411]

rhcp83,

Just buy a plane ticket to Reno head to Moundhouse and get laid at the Bunny Ranch.

Things will loosen up for you and you'll get destroy the psyhological barriers you placed around sex.

Women smell desparation. The more you focus on it the less likely it's going to happen.

It's one of the reasons why guys fail with women because they're don't connect with a woman and are too into sex that the women feels like that the guy isn't interested in anything else.

The concept is to work sex as an underlying thing with interest in a girl/fun with a girl as the main theme.

Get off PoF it's not about quality and it will be much more deflating to your esteem as you'll get fatties who treat you like a leper thinking that their **** don't stink.


Sure some of us look nice seem nice etc. Being called nice means you're not giving off a sexual vibe. That needs to change. You do however need to incorporate that within your framework.

dunno if you watch Jersey Shore but Pauly D seems nice, acts nice and is about as non threatening as anyone on the show. Yet he pulls like a fiend.
He's embraced that nice attitude and interwoven male traits around it, he's not afraid to be sexual and doesn't care if a girl stays longer than a night.

The key is changing your mindframe from thinking that you're lucky to get a woman to a woman is lucky to get you. It's not an easy transformation but it begins with sitting down and setting rules for women.

What I mean by that is that you set standards of behavior that if a woman violates you either walk or punish her.

Also review your behavior and look to see if you are doing something that a friend you tell you to knock off or sack up etc.

The key is figuring out how to use your skills/traits to your advantage.

You can't treat them different or pedestal women as they will crush you and walk all over you.

 

[rhcp83]

I'll be honest 411, a lot of it is me simply:

1.)not having a busy enough life at the moment and having too much time to think.

2.)having emotional problems (diagnosed chemical depression/OCD/ADD.)

Combine those two and you get disaster.

I really would like to move anyway regardless of women. New England is a really sh1tty place (to me anyway.) If it were up to me (which it might very well soon be) I'd be down south somewhere. I'm really into nature/laid back settings. New England is just a bunch of jerks who think their sh1t doesn't stink and it's an ugly place (there are nice parts like cape cod but most of new england is ugly and dark and extremely unpicturesque and boring.)

The real problem is finding a way to overcome the obsessive thinking about sex. It isn't hormones. Like I said, I don't masturbate much or look at porn much anymore. It's just an obsession.

For some reason, I just obsess over the not having sex thing, even though I know I'm not going to settle for some borderline UG on a dating site. I really would like a girlfriend that I can talk to and be attracted to, but because of my emotional problems, I get obsessed with the sex part, go on pof, argue with c0cky, psycho b1tches then get angry and bitter.

I do care about looks for the women I meet, but let's put it this way, this is my idea of a 10 and seriously doubt even in her prime she would be a 10 to many guys on this site:

http://images.search.yahoo.com/sear...gilpin&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8&fr=yfp-t-701

 

[floydb25]

You are contradicting yourself all over the place, dude. You jump from one criteria to the next. You like skanks, you dont like skanks, you just want to get laid, you want a nice girlfriend, you don't like nice girls, you don't want a girlfriend, you want to get to know someone, you don't want to just talk, you don't want to wait, you just want sex, you don't want a relationship. This is making no sense. I'm starting to think you don't even know what you want.

This applies to all your threads and PMs. It's not adding up. You're just confusing yourself, and everyone else. I'm thinking you spend a lot of time ruminating everything over in your head, building up irrational fears, and changing decisions as you go. This is not healthy or realistic. It's easy to make things bigger than they are when you just think about it. You are your worst enemy. Gotta go out and experience it - not just think about it, and assume the worst.

There's a lot of negativity and low self-esteem going on. This is going to affect your dating / sex life greatly. When all you think is negative - all you attract is negative - all you see is negative. This is not going to change unless you stop viewing everything as negative, and seeking out people who feed into this negativity. This is all you. It's easy to say, "yeah, this person is a jerkface", but you're the one seeking after, and obsessing over them. You are feeding into this negativity. When you have these issues - you gravitate towards *******s and jerks who provide these negative thoughts and feelings. This needs to change. You are likely chasing after people with issues to mirror your own issues. I did the same thing for years. It doesn't get better unless you change these patterns. Not everything is as bad as you make it out to be - you are the one focusing solely on the negatives - the *****es, the rejections, the insults, etc.

As for some women finding you attractive, and others wanting you die: that applies to everyone, dude. There's a lot of *****es out there. We all have to deal with it. Not everyone is going to find you attractive. Just like how you aren't going to be friends with everybody - you aren't going to date everybody, either. Even if you do - it doesn't mean you're compatible. Almost everyone I dated - we had nothing in common. Just thought the other person was attractive. That's about it. Nothing lasted. That's how most relationships are.

You're placing women, sex, dating, and relationships on a pedestal. All the things you complain about are normal. This is reality. Whatever vision you have of them is not reality. You are going to get rejected and insulted, there are losers out there, etc, etc. This is all normal. You don't seem capable of accepting that.

 

[rhcp83]

Here's what it is in simple terms as I see it: Ideally, I'd like to wait until I'm mentally ready for a girlfriend my type/meet a girl my type even if that's years from now...but at the same time am curious about sex and have built it up in my head to such a point where it's become this massive obsession and feel like I have to get it over with. So I obsess over it, it takes over my mind, I go on pof thinking "maybe I'll hit the lottery"...it doesn't happen...I get angry/bitter. Since I don't see many women in real life where I live, I just come home, then go back on pof, then delete it, then go back on it, etc. .

I'm running out of posts, so I'll add more here:

Up until maybe a month ago, I dreamt of making love with a woman...going slow, bonding, cuddling after and talking etc., then something just snapped in me and I said "I'm just going to find some skank to bang and hang it up and give up on women. It's too much of a headache."

I realized a few hours ago that I was taking the cowards way out. It's easy to give up on something you want because it isn't easy to find or currently available. I guess the past few weeks I was thinking "I can have sex, find it overrated, and have no purpose for women in my life romantically or sexually and move on."

Even if you look at my posts about a month ago, I wanted a gf. The past month, for some reason I've been more obsessive about being a virgin, more irritable in general, which is unlike me because usually even if I'm in a bad mood, I'm sad, not angry/irritable.