For as long as I've been dating, I've been having the same experiences over and over again, and for a long time it really confused me.
I've never believed in the whole "no texting before a date" rules or "you must call her only to make a date" because that's never worked for me. In my experience, girls like to get to know a guy and feel rapport before they meet and through texting, I've been able to raise their interest to the point where they're infatuated and already see me as their boyfriend or escalate sexually so that we end up fvcking within an hour or two into our date.
Most of my dates go extremely well and they have very high interest. Some girls have even got all giddy or giggly when I kiss them or have told me I give them butterflies or make them weak at the knees. Many girls I date will pay me compliments and start talking about future dates, and will often text me after the date to say how great a time they had or just to tell me how good I looked.
Sometimes we'd have a second date and this would go exactly the same way and I'd leave them with ultra high interest, eager to see me again...
And despite all this, most of the girls I really liked would cut contact and disappear within a few days after the date or would start getting flakey or giving me excuses why they couldn't meet any time soon.
It always baffled me how a girl could go from such high interest, talking about future dates, talking about how gorgeous I am or how they feel this amazing bond with me to casting me aside and ignoring/rejecting me.
The only reason I can see is that it's my behaviour AFTER the date that pushes them away or lowers their interest. Perhaps it's the fact that I continue to text them as we had done before the date, and now instead of building anticipation and escalating, it comes across as needy or I appear too available.
I realise that if I keep doing this same thing, I'm going to keep getting the same results, so I need to change it up a bit. I figure I need to back off a little after the date, leave a couple of days before contacting her and let her wonder about me.
I have tried taking this to the extreme at times and waiting a whole week to contact a girl after a date, but this never works well. She just assumes I'm not interested or keeping my options open and prefers not to waste her time.
So tell me your experiences guys. How do you behave after your date?
What behaviour has helped you get a second or third date and what behaviour has caused them to flake on you?
How long do you wait to contact them after your date?
I'm currently doing a bit of experimenting with this. I'll post some results when thing become more clear.
I've never believed in the whole "no texting before a date" rules or "you must call her only to make a date" because that's never worked for me. In my experience, girls like to get to know a guy and feel rapport before they meet and through texting, I've been able to raise their interest to the point where they're infatuated and already see me as their boyfriend or escalate sexually so that we end up fvcking within an hour or two into our date.
Most of my dates go extremely well and they have very high interest. Some girls have even got all giddy or giggly when I kiss them or have told me I give them butterflies or make them weak at the knees. Many girls I date will pay me compliments and start talking about future dates, and will often text me after the date to say how great a time they had or just to tell me how good I looked.
Sometimes we'd have a second date and this would go exactly the same way and I'd leave them with ultra high interest, eager to see me again...
And despite all this, most of the girls I really liked would cut contact and disappear within a few days after the date or would start getting flakey or giving me excuses why they couldn't meet any time soon.
It always baffled me how a girl could go from such high interest, talking about future dates, talking about how gorgeous I am or how they feel this amazing bond with me to casting me aside and ignoring/rejecting me.
The only reason I can see is that it's my behaviour AFTER the date that pushes them away or lowers their interest. Perhaps it's the fact that I continue to text them as we had done before the date, and now instead of building anticipation and escalating, it comes across as needy or I appear too available.
I realise that if I keep doing this same thing, I'm going to keep getting the same results, so I need to change it up a bit. I figure I need to back off a little after the date, leave a couple of days before contacting her and let her wonder about me.
I have tried taking this to the extreme at times and waiting a whole week to contact a girl after a date, but this never works well. She just assumes I'm not interested or keeping my options open and prefers not to waste her time.
So tell me your experiences guys. How do you behave after your date?
What behaviour has helped you get a second or third date and what behaviour has caused them to flake on you?
How long do you wait to contact them after your date?
I'm currently doing a bit of experimenting with this. I'll post some results when thing become more clear.