Your Greatest Weapon - Indifference

[spang]

Why do you need a woman to be happy? Is it sex, validation, companionship? When you seek happiness outside of yourself, you will be outcome dependent. This will reek of desperation and failure will absolutely ensue. Indifference should be a mindset for your emotional and mental well-being.

i guess its the need for companionship. when you spend a lot of time alone and youre not a people person, its harder to kill the desperation. i try not to appear desperate, its inside and just comes out and i think they sense it.
when i see an attractive woman i automatically think neurotic thoughts. like "she wouldnt talk to me" or "what if i do something stupid." someone told me "stop thinking.". it feels like im not in control of my mind. its so saturated with the past and thoughts of the future. im a thinker and problem solver by nature, and that is why i cant do it. i solve problems by strategy, i cant proceed on instinct.
zen helped me understand the problem, but i dont know how to fix it. if i try to meditate, my mind has so much noise going on its impossible.

 

[Bumsniff]

What happens when one is a little too indifferent?

 

[PapiChulo]

Being too indifferent results in failure to act. You have to be persistent at times too.

 

[BeDJ]

What happens when one is a little too indifferent?

Indifference allows you to not care for no to low interest women. You are unfazed and emotionally detached from their unresponsiveness to your advances. They are weeded out. You act and REACT independently of the emotions you feel. A moderate to high interested women will be unsure and left wondering your intentions. Their interest level will rise and will try to re-initiate contact and become more responsive to your indifference. These women are worth pursuing.

 

[teakroy]

Being too indifferent results in failure to act. You have to be persistent at times too.

I don't think so.

And what if is Failure ?Plenty of fish...

 

[BeDJ]

I don't think so.

And what if is Failure ?Plenty of fish...

What? Papi has a good point.

 

[\O/]

This is such an important post. It should most definitely be in the bible. Having this mindset will solve so many common problems just by default.

So Bump.

 

[BeDJ]

Application

Indifference if most effective when applied in the very beginning. It subtly projects that you:

- Are busy with your life
- Have options
- In control of your emotions
- Are able to walk away anytime

Don't confuse indifference with not giving a sh!t about your prospect. LISTEN to what she is saying because she is TELLING you how to get in her pants. The key on the first date is to let her talk 80% of the time and pick up on her hot buttons. Nod and paraphrase whatever she is saying and spit it back at her with witty/funny comments. Indifference allows you to make her keep the conversation going. This separates the very interested women from the low ones. It is a win-win situation because you have identified her interest level AND what subjects you can use to your advantage. This will guarantee you at least a kiss close at the end because she finds comfort in you.

Furthermore, she has very minimal information about you. Keep her on Cloud 9 and guessing, you did get the kiss close. 99% of the time, she will contact you after the date, because being indifferent, you don't contact her. She may say, I'm feeling the after-effects of that kiss or something similar. When you don't respond to that, it re-assures her who you have projected yourself as to put her interest level on overdrive. This keeps her thinking about you, the gift of anxiety. Contact her in a couple of days and set up another meet. Most of the time, their interest has increased, if not skyrocketed. Keep the attitude and her interest level high.

 

[Tiguere]

Indifference takes years to wield it

 

[yesplz]

New to these forums, but wanted to contribute my first 2c tot his topic.

You shouldn't practice indifference as a tool to achieve a greater goal. That is not true indifference, that's just moving the problem one step up.

Just as you shouldn't meditate to achieve something or anything. It's about letting go. It's not about willing to change, but about accepting that nothing has to change.

 

[Mr. Bond]

This post is gold. Good job.

 

[BeDJ]

The Itch

First date success!

- She sent you a text
- She gave you a call
- She left you a voicemail
- She hasn't contacted you back

You killed it on the first date by demonstrating value and mystery. She wants to know more about you, she is on an emotional high right now. You know the best move would to not reply, answer or contact her first. She sends you an incredible text that give you a day long grin. Your best option would obviously ignore it and keep her thinking about you.

Suddenly, you get the ITCH. You know the moment you scratch it, there is no stopping until you have a scathing rash. If you were to simply ignore it, the itch would have been gone in a few days without any damage being done.

The Remedy

Keep your mind off the itch. It's really hard to care about the itch when the itch is the last thing on your mind. Diversify your portfolio and know you can obtain new opportunities! When you put all your resources into one investment, you will be constantly worry about it. It truly is either your greatest success or dreadful demise. By having other investments, you minimize risking your money, efforts and most importantly time.

 

[Drivel]

Man, Im really glad to see this post up here. I currently have that constant anxious , pit in my stomach feeling because I lost the girl. I went from having her calling and texting everyday and saying Im the most important person in her life all the way to her not contacting me anymore at all and it happened within 3 days!!

All because I failed her sh*t test when she pretended she got a boyfriend. I let her see that it upset me and showed her that I was bothered. BAD MOVE! She was All done immediately after that. I totally agree with you guys about the indifference thing.

I just look at is more as "indifference" being a byproduct of having complete confidence and proper sense of self worth. If you are coming from a healthy and positive view of yourself, I believe you will be indifferent to a lot of the bullcrap life throws at you including girl drama.

I have a long way to go though.. Thanks for the post. nice to know others are going through it too

 

[Fatal Jay]

Great post.

 

[j0504s]

Ever had a girl go silent?
Ever sat by your phone and wait for her call/text?
Ever wondered why she flaked on you?

Why is there that uneasy feeling in your stomach? Because you cared too much. The thought of losing her scares you! And that is why you will lose the girl.

No, I'm not going to tell you to think you are the prize, find hobbies, spin plates, make her chase you, etc. These are the byproducts of becoming indifferent.

No matter how good you are at something, there are 10 other people that are better. Do your best, accept the rest. Stop demanding joy, attention and friends. Allow people to disregard you, it's fine. You have probably done it to others.

Who you are should never depend on externalities like your image or possessions. Every externality can fade (looks, fame, power, money, etc.) Become ZEN!

Indifference means you are in control of your emotions and your own true happiness. You will make decision based on your happiness and rules. You are conducting the greatest show on earth - YOUR LIFE

She didn't give you her number - Oh Well
She flaked out on a date - Whatever
She hasn't responded - Ok
She won't put out - So?

I PROMISE YOU that you will start spending time with highly interested women.
I ASSURE YOU that you will attract women you want.
I GUARANTEE YOU that you will be happy.

Great post...pretty much the equivlent of reading the power of now in a tl;dr version!

 

[PlayHer Man]

Good post OP. While its not possible to be totally indifferent in most situations.. a ZEN state is a very good goal.

I think ZEN should be approached from a position of independence and learning to be comfortable alone. Developing a lack of NEED is the key.

I've learned over the years that living by the expectations of society and women is a sure path to misery. Trying to keep up with the Joneses, look cool on Facebook every day, own the latest smart phone, be "in style", have the perfect wife, family, house, etc. All that shallow materialistic crap. Who told you its necessary? You just become a slave to your image. Also, the higher up you go.. the harder it gets to stay there. Targets form on your back and jealous people try to destroy you.

Much better to be an island and not be a slave in any form. Not leading the herd, but not following it either. Independence, independence, independence!! Have your own personal vision. Live as you please even if it makes some people unhappy (friends, girls, family). Ignore the roles and expectations society places on you. Stop living to please others. Stop worrying about your image. Have a private and rich inner life that you don't need to broadcast on social media.

Once you can do all that without anxiety.. you are ZEN.

 

[BeDJ]

A simple breakdown.

- Man reads DJ Bible
- Applies everything he's learned
- Gets the girl
- Afraid to lose the girl
- Reverts into AFC mode
- Loses girl or foolishly settles

You will NOT reverse decades of AFC/ONEITIS conditioning overnight. It takes many years and things speed up the process.

Abundance Mentality
Rejections
Outcome Independence
Emotional Distance
Comfort in Solitude

You will win, you will lose. NEVER compromise any of the above in order to win because in the end, you will lose.

Abundance Mentality: You are not afraid to lose the girl.
If she does not agree on the first date or reschedule, NEXT.

Rejections: Just DO IT.
Don't go dating online and call that rejection. Nothing hits closer to home than a "NO, I don't like you."

Outcome Independence: Do it for the Experience.
Enjoy, live and learn. You will learn.

Emotional Distance: Act 'sober'
When you start acting out of frustration, neediness and desperation, you will project those vibes.

Comfort in Solitude: Only live for YOU
This is the most brutal conditioning to overcome, but only YOU can make yourself comfortable under your own skin.

There are no shortcuts.

 

[BeDJ]

Bump, I needed this today.

 

[BeDJ]

Bump, you might need it today.

 

[user name]

It works but only on girls that already have some level of interest in you. If they are interested in you and you show indifference, you can gain the upperhand.

Don't think you're going to take a hot girl who has plenty of suitors and no interest in you and expect her to bang you just because you're not one of her afc orbiters.

A lot of the stuff taught here only works when the girl is showing interest. The problem is some men try to use this stuff to get girls who display no interest and then get upset that it's not working.

If you're using indifference to get a girl to come running after you then you are not being indifferent.

You're invested in an outcome which is the antithesis of indifference.