You say ‘no’ - I say ‘leave’

[Duster11]

you are plugged into to many romance novels, and idealising relationships

go to any restaurant now, women at the table aint gossiping about the romantic guy, theyre gossiping about the guy who messes them about.

obviously you can only pull macho man stunts when you have laid down some macho man D

I haven’t read any romance novels in my life. But I will admit - my childhood was based on watching Disney movies and romantic comedies that pretty much ruined by own psyche.

 

[Duster11]

Totally. Why waste time on this female. WTF man get in gear. Wake up. Move on.

Doing that! Just wanted to be sure that I am taking the right step. Old habits kicked in lol

 

[Duster11]

could you summarise what you know about the red pill for men?

there is a bunch of stuff that can help, but if you will share what you already know. no need to duplicate stuff.

would you also tell how you believe women select men and what they think is important?

I am not trying to test you or anything strange it's to see what is your idea of what has happened. it's useful for you to learn what happened so that it doesn't ever happen to you again. Lots of men have some version of this same story, with just some details changed.

I Will start by telling you that if she wanted you she would have you already, even long ago. When women target a man that they want they are usually successful regardless of all the situations. Often they can not convince the target guy to keep them, but they usually can get intimate with any guy they target if given time, such as a few weeks or less. Within 12 years, the only possibility is she does not want you. It's important to key into that so that it doesn't happen again because that situation is no fun.

This forum is full of guys that know at least the basics that you will want to learn.

I will try summarising my knowledge and correct me wherever I am wrong:

For the most part - red pill means accepting the bitter truth of how the world functions. Including the mating selection. From what I am aware, women choose to mate with the one who display traits of an alpha since they want their offspring to have their genes for the sake of their survival.


It is a very basic animal instinct that is being followed by them which - even though they disagree - is how things are.

A male showing alpha traits is desirable because that male has a status. For such Alpha males - majority of the women are willing to mate with them. For security and for generations.

That said - I am willing to rework on my knowledge so any recommended books or links?

 

[Duster11]

This was a difficult post to read. The amount of time that you have wasted on Susan is astronomical. The average life expectancy for a male is around 80 years. That means that you've wasted about 15% of your life on this oneitis. Let that sink in. And no, you were never "best friends" with this girl. You were always hoping that one day you would be more than friends. Mitigate your damages and cut all ties with Susan immediately.

From my perspective - if I die tomorrow, that is almost 40% of life already wasted.

And yes - I was hoping for a change in the relationship. Lesson learned.

 

[Duster11]

This woman has used you for a validation safety net for years. That is all this has actually been to her. Whether she has felt any type of emotion for you is difficult to say, but the fact is she is not attracted to you (as others have already pointed out) and she has zero interest in any type of sexual/romantic relationship with you. Remember, the one who cares the least in any type of relationship has all the power. The difference in care between the two of you is astronomical, and therefore so is the power difference. You need to exit any type of interaction with this woman in order for your own well-being. This means No Contact and not responding to her attempts to reach out. You will not move on unless you adhere to this, and you will need to do this for some time since you have had oneitis for this woman as long as you have.

Well said, Barrister! Well said!

This is what I was seeking for - a very thorough and mature reply.

I have already cut ties with her and am unwilling to settle for this. Now I am working to maintain my will power to stay this way.

Appreciate the comment!

 

[Duster11]

Have you read The Book of Pook?
If not, this will open your eyes if you have eyes to see with.

It is part of my reading list.

Will read this once I get a more insight about my psyche and who am I willing to attract towards me.

 

[Duster11]

You did the right thing to leave her by the wayside. I've been in this situation before and it's only when you have the balls to drop the sunk cost fallacy that you find freedom.

You need to cut her from your life and never talk to her again. And you should especially not be putting any energy into thinking about any woman who lives far away from you.

Also, you're overthinking things way too much and allowing your own emotions to project out into the world. I would invest good time on watching your own actions over watching the actions of women and learn to identify when you're working against your own best interest.

Thank you for the positive remark, Kotaix.

Since you have been in my situation - I understand what it must have felt like.

In order the get my life straight, I have refocused my energy towards my work and hustle that I have been working on.

Life does not wait for anyone so need to keep moving.

 

[bat soup]

Maybe I should I have done so years ago. But hey - better late than never!

Yeah. Kick her out of your life. She's worthless.

I think if you look back you'll see that every time you tried to make a move on this women she kokblocked, deflected or gave you some kind of excuse. But since they like the attention these kinds of women never go away.

 

[Alvafe]

my take is simple if she is not opening her legs then she is out, hell you do ahve some woman friends, but mostly because of social circles and most of the time you don't even give sh!t when they are there, so even less if they are not

problem number one that is for the op and anyone who still have this kind of thing, ther eis not feeling, you should just try to have sex with her, threat her like any other woman, if she can't see you diferently or don't want sex, that means she is atracted to you with means its time to move, woman love "male friends" because that supply her need for male atencion, with the worse case, she don't need to put out, so best for you is cut your loses and move on, and everytime she try to talk you are busy, hell toss even the, sorry i'm with a girl now and I don't think its right to spend time with you, do everything to cut her,

also note normally woman will go for extra mile to keep you around and she will try to string you for a time, but still is better to cut she had her chance, not its over

 

[derby1]

A male showing alpha traits is desirable because that male has a status. For such Alpha males - majority of the women are willing to mate with them. For security and for generations.

forget these terminologies for now and practice less talking and 100% no relationship talk.

when she says what are you looking for"

"id be interested in something serious if the right girl comes along, otherwise im still content"

most men make the mistake of being supplied a bit of kitty, and they go full on thirsty relationship, DM'ing all day.

instead of remaining the non chalant guy she has to wonder about a little

 

[powersize]

From my perspective - if I die tomorrow, that is almost 40% of life already wasted.

And yes - I was hoping for a change in the relationship. Lesson learned.

You are still in a better situation now than some blue-pilled men at their 40-50 who just recently divorced and financially broken cause their wifes cheated on them. Plus getting a woman should not be a life goal for a man.

I would rather be alone than with the girl that does not bring any value to my life.

 

[metalwater]

I will try summarising my knowledge and correct me wherever I am wrong:

For the most part - red pill means accepting the bitter truth of how the world functions. Including the mating selection. From what I am aware, women choose to mate with the one who display traits of an alpha since they want their offspring to have their genes for the sake of their survival.


It is a very basic animal instinct that is being followed by them which - even though they disagree - is how things are.

A male showing alpha traits is desirable because that male has a status. For such Alpha males - majority of the women are willing to mate with them. For security and for generations.

That said - I am willing to rework on my knowledge so any recommended books or links?

sort of.

There is a little more to it that is even less cool for us men. I'll summarise, others can add or you can question it.

Overall women will fck any guy they want to that will agree. Probably you already know that.

For a relationship, she is looking for a provider. a guy that can provide enough as per her world view, she will want to marry a guy that can improve her lifestyle either now or she thinks so in the future. she also wants to feel safe with that guy, he should be willing to give up things for her and provide more wealth and or status than her friends have. A guy that will die for her, literally. At the same time be successful in the world.

For a lover, she is looking for a guy that turns her on, sort of like your thinking an alpha is but it's a little different. Someone that activates her sex vibe. This is completely different than her hunt for a better lifestyle. It happens on a different and more primitive channel. You will find some real losers that do this by default and many rich guys that can not figure it out.

Usually or almost never are these the same man for any woman. We try to think that an "alpha" is this, but alas it is a little different.

If you want the provider spot, show and convince her that you will improve her lifestyle in ways that she likes... Don't tell her and beg but demonstrate it with your abilities.

If you want the lover position, hang around the forum and change your mind about her and understand that she is just another woman and you want a turn. You're probably not ready for that mind change. Make sure she knows you have women that are hotter than her. The lover advice is what you will mostly get in this group.

This is what it is.

 

[DonJuanjr]

If you want the provider spot, show and convince her that you will improve her lifestyle in ways that she likes... Don't tell her and beg but demonstrate it with your abilities.

I'll add to this....
If you want the provider spot, you have to accept the fact that a female's desire for you will wain over time, and she will eventually seek chemical releases from her endocrine system that results from her desire of another man(which is the lover). She will always come back to you, but will sporadically have a side lover. To believe this is not the case, is to not fully accept female nature.

 

[Duster11]

Yeah. Kick her out of your life. She's worthless.

I think if you look back you'll see that every time you tried to make a move on this women she kokblocked, deflected or gave you some kind of excuse. But since they like the attention these kinds of women never go away.

Here is an interesting part - whenever I made a move, none of the three excuses you mentioned ever happened. As if she wanted me to advance and I did.

Probably because of the attention she may have been getting from me?

 

[Duster11]

my take is simple if she is not opening her legs then she is out, hell you do ahve some woman friends, but mostly because of social circles and most of the time you don't even give sh!t when they are there, so even less if they are not

problem number one that is for the op and anyone who still have this kind of thing, ther eis not feeling, you should just try to have sex with her, threat her like any other woman, if she can't see you diferently or don't want sex, that means she is atracted to you with means its time to move, woman love "male friends" because that supply her need for male atencion, with the worse case, she don't need to put out, so best for you is cut your loses and move on, and everytime she try to talk you are busy, hell toss even the, sorry i'm with a girl now and I don't think its right to spend time with you, do everything to cut her,

also note normally woman will go for extra mile to keep you around and she will try to string you for a time, but still is better to cut she had her chance, not its over

Well summarised! I do wish most men would follow this advice and learn about the behaviours women exhibit to better understand who the world functions.

 

[Duster11]

forget these terminologies for now and practice less talking and 100% no relationship talk.

when she says what are you looking for"

"id be interested in something serious if the right girl comes along, otherwise im still content"

most men make the mistake of being supplied a bit of kitty, and they go full on thirsty relationship, DM'ing all day.

instead of remaining the non chalant guy she has to wonder about a little

Correct! Most men are obsessed with being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.

Choosing a partner is already difficult when it comes to sharing life goals and objectives - further complicated by the fact that intelligence is already scarce in this world even though we are living in the information era.

 

[Duster11]

You are still in a better situation now than some blue-pilled men at their 40-50 who just recently divorced and financially broken cause their wifes cheated on them. Plus getting a woman should not be a life goal for a man.

I would rather be alone than with the girl that does not bring any value to my life.

Exactly! Having a woman to be the life goals means that you are living in her reality.

It should be a merger of the 2 realities where to consenting adults agree to experience the realities of both - not by one living in another’s reality and giving up everything dear to that person giving up.

 

[Duster11]

sort of.

There is a little more to it that is even less cool for us men. I'll summarise, others can add or you can question it.

Overall women will fck any guy they want to that will agree. Probably you already know that.

For a relationship, she is looking for a provider. a guy that can provide enough as per her world view, she will want to marry a guy that can improve her lifestyle either now or she thinks so in the future. she also wants to feel safe with that guy, he should be willing to give up things for her and provide more wealth and or status than her friends have. A guy that will die for her, literally. At the same time be successful in the world.

For a lover, she is looking for a guy that turns her on, sort of like your thinking an alpha is but it's a little different. Someone that activates her sex vibe. This is completely different than her hunt for a better lifestyle. It happens on a different and more primitive channel. You will find some real losers that do this by default and many rich guys that can not figure it out.

Usually or almost never are these the same man for any woman. We try to think that an "alpha" is this, but alas it is a little different.

If you want the provider spot, show and convince her that you will improve her lifestyle in ways that she likes... Don't tell her and beg but demonstrate it with your abilities.

If you want the lover position, hang around the forum and change your mind about her and understand that she is just another woman and you want a turn. You're probably not ready for that mind change. Make sure she knows you have women that are hotter than her. The lover advice is what you will mostly get in this group.

This is what it is.

I remember hearing a lecture of David Tian where he explained this in detail.

There are 3 categories - Lover, Provider and Husband.

The Husband category is the extreme difficult category to be in since it is the perfect combo of Lover and Provider. To reach category - the man needs to be highly intelligent in every aspect one can think of. Such men are there but extremely rare to find.

To maintain a vibe of the Husband is already a difficult task considering how the world is fast and not many can keep up with it.

I will be digging more into these.

Thanks, metalwater!

 

[Duster11]

I'll add to this....
If you want the provider spot, you have to accept the fact that a female's desire for you will wain over time, and she will eventually seek chemical releases from her endocrine system that results from her desire of another man(which is the lover). She will always come back to you, but will sporadically have a side lover. To believe this is not the case, is to not fully accept female nature.

To understand the female nature has already been cumbersome since everything seems to be getting complicated.

However - do refer my post above to metalwater.It basically further comments on your post.

 

[metalwater]

I remember hearing a lecture of David Tian where he explained this in detail.

There are 3 categories - Lover, Provider and Husband.

The Husband category is the extreme difficult category to be in since it is the perfect combo of Lover and Provider. To reach category - the man needs to be highly intelligent in every aspect one can think of. Such men are there but extremely rare to find.

To maintain a vibe of the Husband is already a difficult task considering how the world is fast and not many can keep up with it.

I will be digging more into these.

Thanks, metalwater!

How are husbands, providers, and lovers different?

Would you summarise what Tian tells about what us men should do so as to have a successful LTR?