Relationships are not built on transactions; they are built on reciprocity. The difference is subtle but essential. A transactional mindset says, “I give only to get.” Reciprocity, on the other hand, says, “I give because I value the connection, and I trust that it will be mutual.” One approach leads to detachment and constant calculation, while the other allows for intimacy, complexity, and emotional growth.
Decent point. The problem is once a woman knows a man values her, she will use it to her advantage and eventually destroy him, it
The intimacy, complexity, and emotional growth, that’s fine, but a man shouldn’t look for it. It should come becomes the woman values the relationship and the man sees value in keeping her around.
ALL women look at relationships as transactional. Tit for tat. They don’t look for closeness or emotional growth, they look for “what resources can I extract from him?”
You are absolutely right to emphasize self-reliance. Emotional independence is crucial. However, there is an important distinction between contentment with solitude and disconnection that is disguised as empowerment. Often, when people say, “I am fine being alone,” they are masking hurt, mistrust, or past disappointment.
You don’t know that, That’s like saying when people say “I am fine with my salary”, they are masking anger, frustration, and lack of skills. You are assuming with that statement,
are you truly fulfilled on your own, or are you avoiding the vulnerability that comes with being truly seen?
Again you are talking in a way where you believe vulnerability and connection is what turns a woman on, It doesn’t, A woman gets turned on by a man’s look, his height, his hair, his presence, His vulnerability means nothing to her. She will be like “this guy is going to protect my children?: Not saying don’t ever open up, but be VERY careful what you reveal to any woman,
There is no shame in choosing solitude, but when that choice is driven by cynicism or fear, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Real maturity is not only knowing that you can be alone. It is also knowing when connection is meaningful enough to be worth the risk.
Decent point.
But a man should ask himself, what does he need a relationship for? I don’t think men are alone out of fear and bitterness, I think it’s more “the return isn’t what I want”
A lot of men don’t want to get into a relationship with a woman who is getting less attractive by the minute, who does not allow him to sleep with any other woman, who has legal, social, economic power to destroy him at any time, who has society to protect her in case he does anything wrong, who has sex based on her schedule, who expects more out of the relationship the longer it goes, Not a great deal.
That being said, I think a lot of men DO want to be in a relationship with a woman.
