DonJuanabe
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2012
- Messages
- 592
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Want an indication of who someone really is? Figure out what her family life was like growing up.
Lolz... That's not far off from what we're talking about, and I'll tell you why. You just opened a new can of worm beans.bigneil said:Women start out sweet and unjaded, then around age 20 or so they realize they aren't a fairy princess and they hate the world, abuse men and dike out with women forevermore.
Doesnt work. People only want to hear what they want to hear - as it suits their perspective. They also want sympathy, understanding, and being told theyre right / amazing people who can do no wrong, and that the other person is a jerk. Meanwhile, they continue the same patterns over and over.pdx1138 said:The next time I find myself accidentally in the company of such lunacy I'm going to press her about taking responsibility, that it couldn't possibly be all the other guys faults..etc....
I'm going to have some fun with that....pushing buttons.
Not looking for it mind you, but if it seeks me out.
Im gonna turn this around on you right quick, because its exactly what Im talking about. A lot of people have this mindset, and play these games. Thats why I said a lot of victim types are manipulators and players. A lot of these types are the dysfunctional bad girl types - with a history of associating with bad people. They learned all of these things, because it happened to them before. Now, they are using it for their own gain.Scars said:Even as an AFC I used to play these same games woman were playing unknowingly. I'd complain that my heart was broken, that woman were screwing me over, that I just wanted to find a "nice girl" to be my girlfriend to stay with me forever. This was all true. This was my mindset back then, and I verbalized it to many woman. I was a huge AFC, but a girl who was just feeling the same (maybe just got taken advantage of by a jerk) would cling to me. I literally had no game, but I was able to sympathize long enough with them so they could trust me. Like I said, a HUGE AFC, but I always had the balls to make a move though, so I did get laid from acting this way.
After learning game, it makes perfect sense why this worked. Woman run off of emotions, and they will only listen to what they want to hear as Floyd just illustrated.
Now knowing this, it's all a matter of pressing the right buttons. Telling them what they want to hear, even if you're lying through your teeth. Look at my signature, woman will sometimes KNOW when they're being lied to, but they really don't care. Spice up your words and make her good for the moment, then you hi-jack all her logic and go in for the kill. Yes, these woman are stupid. I guess I was stupid once too. Some people learn from their experience/mistakes, others never will. I have never met a woman who wasn't bound by their emotions either.
-Scars
DonJuanabe said:Want an indication of who someone really is? Figure out what her family life was like growing up.
I'm actually very well aware of all of this, and I now proceed with caution. Manipulating woman however, does not bother me in the least bit. Once you realize they're all amoral selfish creatures, you simply lose all sympathy for them. You have to fake it. In any way you look at it, it IS manipulation.floydb25 said:Im gonna turn this around on you right quick, because its exactly what Im talking about. A lot of people have this mindset, and play these games. Thats why I said a lot of victim types are manipulators and players. A lot of these types are the dysfunctional bad girl types - with a history of associating with bad people. They learned all of these things, because it happened to them before. Now, they are using it for their own gain.
So, dont ever assume or believe that the damsel in distress is an innocent victim acting out of self-defense. While youre buying into this - shes manipulating and deceiving the hell out of you - while acting oblivious to everything shes doing (on purpose). Thats how they operate. Bad people in general act this way towards everyone. They know how to manipulate. This is also how bad people are created. Which is why everything you are sympathising with (ie, history of bullies, abandonment, abuse, neglect, control, jerks, players, etc) are HUGE red flags.
Even beyond that - dont assume the best out of anyone, period. If they obtain control, or learn some tricks along the way - even unintentionally - they will likely use it to their advantage. Even, and especially those who hate being at the back-end of it. They only hate when it happens to THEM. So, dont allow it, and dont trust people so easily. They can claim ANYTHING, and you have no way of verifying it. There are bad people out there; always use caution, and hold your ground.
Dont get caught up in this mess, and find someone who's happy, healthy, and sane. Not broken, damaged, and insane. Also be wary of the game - because youll run into these types often. Players rule the game, and youll be attracting them, too.
I prefer to use the knowledge to recognize and weed out the bad - instead of using it against people. That **** always comes back to kick your ass - usually by someone who out-plays you. Or bullies you. Or whatever. You always end up attracting the same type youre trying to avoid - by becoming just like them. Hence, why bad girls attract bad guys. Just avoid them all.
Its not just women, though. EVERYONE is selfish - including the so-called nice ones. People will not do things unless theres a benefit or reward for them. Otherwise, I agree with your assessment.Scars said:I'm actually very well aware of all of this, and I now proceed with caution. Manipulating woman however, does not bother me in the least bit. Once you realize they're all amoral selfish creatures, you simply lose all sympathy for them. You have to fake it. In any way you look at it, it IS manipulation.
I realize I'm perfectly illustrating your point, but I'm fine with that. Most guys who have dated a crazy BPD women will usually be left somewhat cold and calloused. What comes around goes around. However, I don't like others mistaking people like me to be angry, upset, and jaded towards women. That might had been the case before, but I have accepted the amorality of women. I don't agree with it, but I understand it, and I've simply adapted to it. By adapting to it, I've learned to beat them at their own game.
The problem with the whole "finding a healthy, sane woman", is that even healthy women are still bound by their emotions and can be manipulated. Whether it's by me, or somebody else. You can't shelter them forever. That's not to say you shouldn't be looking for a sane woman. You should, if that's what you want. But for other guys who just want to get laid, why treat some ***-dumpster for more than she really is? It just makes no sense to me.
I think at the end of the day, it's all about what you're looking for. If you want to settle down with a girl and get serious, then by all means use the information to identify redlfags and avoid the crazies. If you have no morals against manipulating woman, and are confident in your abilities to out play them then do so. I think there's too many people here acting like running into a BPD/crazy is a death sentence. It only is if you let it.
"You can't save these hoes" <-- Exactly, there's no fixin'. So let's just make the most of it. :rockon:
-Scars
I agree. I have my own theories about the people here. We sit here and b!tch about cluster B's, but most of us are narcissists who attract these crazies in the first place. Even the few who aren't, learn these tendencies from all the advice here anyways.floydb25 said:Its not just women, though. EVERYONE is selfish - including the so-called nice ones. People will not do things unless theres a benefit or reward for them. Otherwise, I agree with your assessment.
Ive been thinking about preaching to the wrong choir for a while. People wouldnt be here if they didnt already adapt this mindset, and change from what they were. Most people do just want to get laid and play the field, because theyve been burned and what not. Its how it all starts. For women, too.
Usually people get caught up in bad people - then become bad themselves. Or, already were. A lot of stuff on here can be applied to us, as well. Nobody is innocent, really. This guy chases bad girl; gets hurt; becomes bad; etc. Its most everyones story. Otherwise, they wouldnt be interested in this stuff.
But, a lot of problems people run into only become worse once they "join em". The irony in their *****ing is pretty funny, though. Ex: "I want to pick up hot chicks at the bar... Damnit, all of these *****es are crazy! Im never gonna commit again, because of these bar sluts I changed myself to attract". ****ing people.
Ah well, thats on them. You cant save a bro, either. :kick: I'll probably be out of here soon. Still have that lifestyle in me, it seems. Gotta get rid of it completely.
floydb25 said:This is actually extremely common, fellas. I'm not suprised people can relate. Its the number 1 recurring theme on the interweb.
The scenerio usually plays out like this: so-called nice girl complains that every man she meets is a jerk, including the one she's currently *****ing about - to the nice guy she is using / stringing along for her own selfish gain, no less... Dumb**** nice guy sympathizes with her, believes her to be the victim because he's an idiot, and all she does is complain about everything that she CHOOSES to involve herself in / is a part of / everything is her own damn fault / she's insane... Nice guy pours his heart out - still being stuck in dumbass mode... Girl gets used / played / dumped, as expected (and for good reason)... Rejects nice guy... Dates another jerk... Nice guy goes insane, jumps on the internet to cry like a Susie... Claims nice guys finish last... Cries some more... Turns into a jerk to attract her type - not realizing he's still a dumbass, and that her type is garbage... Gets involved with all these crazy *****es seeking out jerks - only to realize his perfect relationship with a good girl is complete chaos / she's not a good girl / she's insane / she loves drama / is retarded and useless / he wants to stab her in the throat repeatedly with a fork... Goes back on the internet to complain about how all women are crazy *****es...And so on.
When someone plays the victim, this is ALL you hear: theyre good people who do all of these wonderful things (which they will detail, just to convince themselves and others that theyre really awesome and caring and nice, and can do no wrong, ever); while the other person is the spawn of Satan (which they will also detail). Thats it. Add in some self-pity and whining about how nice people finish last (since theyre so perfect and sweet and nice, as per their delusional, one-sided, self-absorbed mindset), and you have their side of the story. Its all crap.
Save yourself the trouble, and avoid the victim types who seek out and ***** about jerks. Never once have I met one that was worth a damn, and didnt have a slew of other issues (namely, bat**** insanity). The patterns never changed; becoming a jerk only attracts these lunatics to you, and makes you become crazy, as well. You dont want to be like the guy depicted above, do you? Or maybe you already are. lol skittles :crackup:
floydb25 said:So, dont ever assume or believe that the damsel in distress is an innocent victim acting out of self-defense. While youre buying into this - shes manipulating and deceiving the hell out of you - while acting oblivious to everything shes doing (on purpose). Thats how they operate. Bad people in general act this way towards everyone. They know how to manipulate.
I agree but "only losers date jerks, and vice versa." is not always true. Generous people find jerks attractive someway and make the mistake of getting involved with jerks by "believing" their lies or by thinking they may change them with "their love". People stupidly believe think that "love can change everything", not really.floydb25 said:The problem is, these people are delusional, and not as good as they think they are. Nor are they innocent or victimised . What they do is, get with people like themselves, mirror their issues onto them, blame for everything, and play the victim. Meanwhile, they keep seeking them out so they can feed their misery and drama. Trust me, these people are dysfunctional and no different than the jerks they seek after. Just because they show their vulnerable side as theyre whining and playing the victim doesnt make them good people. Most are quite selfish and spoiled, and complain when they cant get their way.
Never sympathise with the damsel in distress. Theyre not as innocent or honorable as they claim. Theyre usually quite ****ing insane, actually. And yes, good people dont do these things - onl losers who think they are good do. Their true colors are typically right in front of you - what you see is what you get. All the *****ing, drama, victim playing, misery, bad boy seeking - thats THEM. Accept them just as they are, and DONT try to change them - not unlike they are doing with the jerks.
This is how people get caught right up in the jerk seeking jerk then becoming a jerk cycle. If these people didnt have issues, this wouldnt be happening. Thats why they never JUST date jerks - theyre usually crazy and worthless on top of it.
Remember: only losers date jerks, and vice versa. Just because theyre conceited and in denial, doesnt make it not true. The dysfunctional compatibility they share is always there. To quote Eminem from the song Love The Way You Lie, "you're the same as me".
Evidence: multiple kids, bars, **** buddies, jerks. Certainly there is more if you go deeper. Sounds like a loser to me.
Absolutely CLASSIC thread and reply. (Should be stickied IMO.)floydb25 said:The problem is, these people are delusional, and not as good as they think they are. Nor are they innocent or victimised . What they do is, get with people like themselves, mirror their issues onto them, blame for everything, and play the victim. Meanwhile, they keep seeking them out so they can feed their misery and drama. Trust me, these people are dysfunctional and no different than the jerks they seek after. Just because they show their vulnerable side as theyre whining and playing the victim doesnt make them good people. Most are quite selfish and spoiled, and complain when they cant get their way.
Never sympathise with the damsel in distress. Theyre not as innocent or honorable as they claim. Theyre usually quite ****ing insane, actually. And yes, good people dont do these things - onl losers who think they are good do. Their true colors are typically right in front of you - what you see is what you get. All the *****ing, drama, victim playing, misery, bad boy seeking - thats THEM. Accept them just as they are, and DONT try to change them - not unlike they are doing with the jerks.
This is how people get caught right up in the jerk seeking jerk then becoming a jerk cycle. If these people didnt have issues, this wouldnt be happening. Thats why they never JUST date jerks - theyre usually crazy and worthless on top of it.
Remember: only losers date jerks, and vice versa. Just because theyre conceited and in denial, doesnt make it not true. The dysfunctional compatibility they share is always there. To quote Eminem from the song Love The Way You Lie, "you're the same as me".
Evidence: multiple kids, bars, **** buddies, jerks. Certainly there is more if you go deeper. Sounds like a loser to me.
Sure is, thanks for the bump.Dgwizdal said:Goldmine.
That's not normal.PairPlusRoyalFlush said:the most normal girl I ever dated love male attention and basically broke up with me cuz I wasn't making enough money haha...then there was one I dated for a shorter. Of time that seems pretty quality but even she had a few red flags like a Bible verse tramp stamp haha