You aren't always being tested, but you are ALWAYS being judged

[STR8UP]

Reading a quote by Rollo in his Nice Guy Documentary thread made me remember something I have been thinking about for awhile. He said:

Women cannot respect men they can manipulate. This is the attraction of the Bad Boy, he's harder to manipulate.

The other night I went to grab something to eat with my AW friend.

We stopped by Best Buy on the way since we both had to grab a couple of things. We were in my car, and I drove into the parking lot and pulled into a space that was several spaces away from the nearest car, and she starts "complaining" that I need to find a closer parking space.

Although she was joking and we are just friends, there is no doubt that she was judging me based upon my response. It wasn't a "sh!t test", but it didn't matter; it produced the same end result. She judged me and sized up my value as a man.

This is what women do. It doesn't matter if it is a sh!t test or not. It doesn't even have to come from HER. She doesn't even have to be attracted to you. But you still gain "Man Points" for handling a situation "properly", and you lose Man Points by handling it improperly. Hell, if there is at least a spark of physical attraction there, even if she has seen you as weak in the past, handling these situations the right way could spark full blown attraction. It has happened.

And the more a woman WANTS to be attracted to you, the closer she is going to scrutinize ALL of your actions.

I have been saying this for awhile now. As a Man you can't afford to take your eye off the ball. You can't ever let them see you sweat.

These "points" that are given or taken away by every woman you are not related to (and maybe some you ARE related to if you live in certain states, hehe) can accumulate with a given female and cause her to become attracted to you. They can also transfer over to other females in the form of social proof. You better believe that a seal of approval from one woman (especially one who doesn't have a claim on you) will translate to multiple points with any other female she shares this with. Why do you think these companies are putting customer rating features on their websites? Who is a customer more likely to listen to? A salesman or a fellow customer?

The reason I say it is so important to "keep your eye on the ball" is because it might not be difficult to gain points, but it is VERY easy to give them up by showing that you are a wuss.

This is why there are so many guys out there who aren't successful with women. This is one of those things that creates leverage. It creates GOOD leverage for guys who score high, and BAD leverage with guys who score low. It can serve to elevate you to the highest heights or bury you in the deepest grave when it comes to being successful with women.

You are constantly being judged on your value as a man. Stay on point and the world can be yours.

 

[STR8UP]

Incidentally, when my friend made the comment about the parking space being too far, I told her to stop complaining and get out of the car. Not that it's worth anything with her, but i could almost see the elevated level of respect on her face when I said that.

 

[KarmaSutra]

ABSOLUTELY GODDAMNED RIGHT!

This is the phenomena known as BOUNDARY RESPECT. When a man knows the limit and the amount of sh!t he will take from a woman or from anyone for that matter. A woman will push, prod, poke, wheedle and prevaricate until she learns just how far she can push a man. Most men will cave and do the AFC norm by doing her bidding. As STR8UP succinctly said it: "you can't afford to take your eye off the ball. You can't ever let them see you sweat." True. Every word is true.

The lesson boys is to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS stay true to your commitment to your decisions as long as you know it is the right decision at the right time, you will never regret it.

Good thread as always my brother.

 

[joekerr31]

Incidentally, when my friend made the comment about the parking space being too far, I told her to stop complaining and get out of the car. Not that it's worth anything with her, but i could almost see the elevated level of respect on her face when I said that.

women love a man who puts her in her place.

my theory is that they subconsciously think it means that you will take control in the bedroom also. which is a turn on.

haha, but who knows, thats just a 2 bit theory.

 

[KarmaSutra]

women love a man who puts her in her place.

my theory is that they subconsciously think it means that you will take control in the bedroom also. which is a turn on.

haha, but who knows, thats just a 2 bit theory.

More right than you know but it goes deeper. It's a safety mechanism in that she is assured that in the face of any problems her man will be there to defend himself.

 

[TheLadiesMan]

Very true.... for some strange reason, women think they can own you because they walk around with the golden pvssy or something. Maybe it's because of their present BF's or past BFs that have conditioned them to think that all men are the same. This sort of BS I correct everyday with the opposite sex. This happen the other day......

A woman, who I work with, who's usually pretty cool, all a sudden, thinks she's God's gift to man or something? This woman wouldn't last a night under the sheets with me. I would stir her guts, and she'd walk funny for weeks. She's really a tiny woman, and yes, I do mean stir her guts.

Anyway, the b*tch walks up to me from out of nowhere and goes "Give me your pen..."

I was like "...whoa... what ever happen to "Hey TLM, how are you today, you look great, can I borrow your pen?"

She smiles and goes "TLM, can I borrow your pen?"

I simply replied "HELL NO!" ...then I smiled and handed her the pen, and walked away. She returned my pen to me seconds later.

It's a shame women think they know a brotha, when they haven't a damn clue. Just because your chump BF or husband is a pushover, don't mean we all are.

Don't let the smoothness of TLM fool you.

 

[STR8UP]

More right than you know but it goes deeper. It's a safety mechanism in that she is assured that in the face of any problems her man will be there to defend himself.

Yep, and this is because a woman is designed to find sexually arousing the base qualities of a man who can provide the things she needs.

 

[STR8UP]

This is the phenomena known as BOUNDARY RESPECT. When a man knows the limit and the amount of sh!t he will take from a woman or from anyone for that matter.

I am generally a non confrontational type person. I have honed my diplomacy skills over the years, and generally it serves me well.

But a couple of months ago I was having a bad day. Worst day I have had in years. I just wasn't in any mood to put up with anyone's sh!t.

I had to get a refrigerator fixed and I called a few different repair people. the first two didn't want to be flexible with me to get the job done, and one was even getting rude with me on the phone. I finally found a repairman who was pleasant enough on the phone and willing to work with me and accomodate a couple of requirements I asked for.

Everything was fine until this jackass arrives. He pulls into the driveway in front and starts huffing and puffing about the parking situation, and that this is why he doesn't like to service properties "downtown".

He went to park across the street, and the couple of minutes I was waiting for him I started to think about his attitude and it was starting to piss me off. He gets back over to me and starts his complaining again. I was still pissed but I didn't wwant to open my mouth cause i ws afraid what I might say.

Then I told him I had to go through the other door to be able to let him in, and he started complaining some more. By this point I was done. I wasn't gonna sit there and listen to someone I am PAYING good money to fix a simple problem whine like a b!tch.

I said to him straight up "Do you want to do this job or not, cause it sounds to me like there is some kind of problem. Is there a problem???"

That shut the motherfukker up, and from that point on he was nice as can be.

Never underestimate the power of respect.

 

[ketostix]

Totally true on every point. Whether you call them sh!t tests or not, you are always being judge as a man, by especially women and even other men too. Often times women are "silently" judging you. A test is really just a verbalized or manifested slight disrespective behavior to judge you on how you handle it.

You don't generally want to reply with anger but the worst thing you can do is supplicate to a test. You have to assertively but coolly and calmly call women them on any disrespect or testing. And when you do that you gain instead of lose respect her attraction. People actually like to be called out on their BS when they're out of line. And they realize they're dealing with a m,an of value to be respected.

 

[STR8UP]

People actually like to be called out on their BS when they're out of line. And they realize they're dealing with a m,an of value to be respected.

My last LTR said those exact words to me.

I'm not sure that people LIKE to be called out. Egos won't allow that. I think it more that it SEEMS like they like it, because they immediately show you respect. Then again, the repair guy from my example seemed much "happier" after I put him in hos place. He didn't seem to be intimidated by me or anything, his demeanor simply changed. It's almost as if being in the presence of someone they respect (rather than fear) makes them comfortable, maybe something to do with people's need to follow a leader.

Interesting.

 

[STR8UP]

Totally true on every point. Whether you call them sh!t tests or not, you are always being judge as a man, by especially women and even other men too.

This is an excellent point.

Women are judging you based upon your mating potential, and men are judging you based upon your leadership potential.

The two are somewhat intertwined for women in that they judge you based upon your ability to lead, but not to determine your order in the ranks as men do. They are simply attracted sexually to the core qualities that a man who is a leader possesses.

Same reason why the vast majority of women will deny being attracted to "money" in and of itself. Believe it or not, this is true most of the time. Few women say to themselves "This guy has money. I want what he has", but pretty much ALL women are sexually attracted to the qualities that a man who is CAPABLE of obtaining resources might possess.

Women too know that words can be deceiving. Therefore they must have a way to better filter out the liars, the scammers, and the cheats who might look good on the surface, but in reality they are nothing more than con artists looking to cheat their way into a higher rank in the mating game to secure a better mate.

This is the very thing that allows PUA's to be successful. They know that the only thing that REALLY matters, the thing that TRULY attracts women (at least initially) are the core qualities of a man.

 

[bigjohnson]

Same reason why the vast majority of women will deny being attracted to "money" in and of itself. Believe it or not, this is true most of the time. Few women say to themselves "This guy has money. I want what he has", but pretty much ALL women are sexually attracted to the qualities that a man who is CAPABLE of obtaining resources might possess.

This is the absolute truth. Male Harvard Law students are often not rich ... yet. But they are still highly sought after as mates. Women are attracted to the things that got them where they are and the potential those traits indicate for the future.

 

[DavenJuan]

before this thraad takes a left turn , I wanted to say i havent looked at this subject in this light until now.

Whether or not its a sh!t test is irrelevant. you ARE ALWAYS being judged by your actions and capacity of HOW you handle every situation.

IMO ppl dont even realize they are forming their opinion on some of the things you do. IE: the parking lot ...

she was making a comment, more than likely typical rambling that she always does.

and what were your options?? well, you couldve pulled back out and drove a bit closer to a more convienent spot for her. now we know she would have appreciated it, however what are the ramifications ?

in EVERY situation, women and men, we need to KNOW our boundaries and keep our stand.

 

[STR8UP]

she was making a comment, more than likely typical rambling that she always does.

and what were your options?? well, you couldve pulled back out and drove a bit closer to a more convienent spot for her. now we know she would have appreciated it, however what are the ramifications ?

You got the right idea, I just think "appreciated" is the wrong word.

In every situation such as this the woman will gain satisfaction that you are willing to submit to her request, however, at the same time you are giving up power and losing points due to the loss of respect.

 

[STR8UP]

This is the absolute truth. Male Harvard Law students are often not rich ... yet. But they are still highly sought after as mates. Women are attracted to the things that got them where they are and the potential those traits indicate for the future.

Actually, those women who see them as desirable in law school (due to the fact that they are in law school) probably has more to do with the "rockstar" factor than anything. This would be primarily due to the perception of status, which is not a personality trait, but is arguably even MORE powerful as an attractant than actual core traits.

 

[Interceptor]

This thread is pure Gold, men.

Women don;t want men they can dominate,.

IF you willingly submit to them (in unreasonable negotiations, I mean) the less she will actually respect you.

Her: "I don't like this parking space..." (then silence as she looks away)

You: "Um..sure, honey. I'll move, I'll park it over there, or wherever you like , snookums." (with a fearful smile on his face)

Her: (thinking: "God, he's such a child. Why can't he be a man??? Why does he let me push him around like that???!")

You: (thinking; "Whew..good move, dude. Always keep her happy, man. You don't want to LOSE her!!! What would you do without her???! No, don't ever take a chance and disappoint her if you know what's good for you!!!")


Women don't want you to submit to her every whim, opinion, fancy, and request..
The want to FEEL you have a 'pair and a backbone".

If you have no opinions, you will simply not be interesting to her.
If you don;t know yourself, you will kill the little attraction she had for you.
This is all an LTR killer too.

If you don't 'know yourself', don't 'know your own damn mind", and 'don't know what you want' you will have little success at all in life, and especially with women.

Women test your Personal Boundary.
They test it for the strength of it, to FEEL it, to witness and experience it.

The less you have it, and the less you know yourSELF, the less the woman will feel attraction.
She does not want a mindless robot as a partner.

She wants a Man to take charge and lead. TO make key, critical decsions.
In crises, the MAN must take charge, and KNOW what to do.
A woman is just NOT going to trust a man who can even make the simplest decsions.

It's all a test.
SHe wants to know how far she can go, that way she will know if she's safe ornot.

Remember, a LOT of women have a "WE against the World" view of LTRs. They want their Men to Protect them. They know they can't trust a woman to do it, and they don't have NEARLY as much confidence as you might think. So who do they turn to?
The Man who has a STRONG PERSONAL BOUNDARY.

UNshakeable.

A man who does not REACT, he RESPONDS.

A man in CONTROL of himself, and even to the extent where he can bend his environment tohis will.
HE MAKES HIS DESTINY.

These masculine traits go a LONG way for many womne, and you don;t have to like Brad Pitt OR have Bill GAtes' money.

But you DO HAVE TO HAVE a LOT of MASCULINITY as YOUR RESOURCE.

Meaning, sure, you can look like Brad, but what if you're a fearful , whiny little wuss?

Or you can have a lot of money, but what if you're always seeking attention and validation?

Or you can have TOO much machismo, and actually be very insecure inside, and she sees through the act.

What then?


Be the Man.

 

[bigjohnson]

Actually, those women who see them as desirable in law school (due to the fact that they are in law school) probably has more to do with the "rockstar" factor than anything. This would be primarily due to the perception of status, which is not a personality trait, but is arguably even MORE powerful as an attractant than actual core traits.

I think it boils down to the same core drive, the drive to find a stable capable provider with good genes.

 

[reset]

Women test your Personal Boundary.
They test it for the strength of it, to FEEL it, to witness and experience it.

....and you shouldn't just assume she's a bytch for doing it. They can't help themselves. And the stronger you are the less the tests will phase you.

 

[STR8UP]

So which one is it?

Yea, I kind of contradicted myself there.

I was typing faster than I was thinking when I made the initial statement.

There are other things that attract aside from core qualities.

The point was that aside from a few things such as looks and status, women tend to judge you indirectly.

Actually, if you think about it it comes down to one thing. It's all about PROOF, or the perception thereof.

When it comes to looks, it's quite easy for a woman to make a physical assessment of a man. What you see is what you get. Straight white teeth, facial symmetry, height, muscle mass, are all pretty difficult to fake.

And as for the "rockstar" factor, the proof is in the status that is automatically implied by society. It is simply a "given". Chances are a guy attending a prestigious law school probably comes from a family with money, and obviously has high earning potential.

In other words, if someone finds out your are the CEO of a well known company, your status and perceived earning potential isn't even in question. People pretty much know that you are looked up to by a lot of people. you have power and control. And they assume (usually correctly so) that you are earning a LOT of money.

I see it all the time on a much smaller scale being the owner of a recognized business. At this moment the economy is so bad that my business barely able to keep the doors open, but try explaining that to someone. It doesn't matter what kind of financial shape you are truly in, it is people's perception of your financial state, and they automatically assume that if you own a business you have all the money you will ever need. Hell, it's even hard for FAMILY to grasp this concept.

It is comical to try to explain to someone how this works because the vast majority of people will never understand. Appearances can and often are deceiving, but that's just the way it is. Perception is reality, and in this case it's all the "proof" someone needs to judge you.

 

[STR8UP]

High status is a strong indicator of many core qualities women find attractive. It's a form of social proof.

And again, the key is that it is INDIRECT. A woman is simply assuming that since OTHER people hold you in high regard, there must be a reason, and she will simply follow the herd.

When you understand this dynamic you can harness it to reap HUGE rewards, not only with women, but in business and life in general.