You aren't always being tested, but you are ALWAYS being judged

[jophil28]

and pulled into a space that was several spaces away from the nearest car, and she starts "complaining" that I need to find a closer parking space.

Although she was joking and we are just friends, there is no doubt that she was judging me based upon my response. It wasn't a "sh!t test", but it didn't matter; it produced the same end result. She judged me and sized up my value as a man.

Your story about the parking space is unclear in its conclusions.
In what way was she judging you? How do you KNOW that she was judging you. Did she hand you your grading later? Or are you just surmmizing that she was assessing you and your respomse?
Perhaps she was just a lazy baitch who wanted to be driven up to the front door and there was no evaluation of you in all of this.
Anyways who really cares what women think or do or why they do it - thinking about whether it is a "test" or a "judging " is still borne of the mindset that SHE is a prize that you need to WIN by impressing her through your 'performance".

Just thinking "was that a test ?" is a sure indication that you are in "audition " mode, and in this mode your have unconsciously but automatically placed her on a pedestal and prized her. Your are "on guard" and on alert against saying or doing anything which will NOt impress her.

You are then NOT you any more.

 

[ketostix]

Your story about the parking space is unclear in its conclusions.
In what way was she judging you? How do you KNOW that she was judging you. Did she hand you your grading later? Or are you just surmmizing that she was assessing you and your respomse?
Perhaps she was just a lazy baitch who wanted to be driven up to the front door and there was no evaluation of you in all of this.
Anyways who really cares what women think or do or why they do it - thinking about whether it is a "test" or a "judging " is still borne of the mindset that SHE is a prize that you need to WIN by impressing her through your 'performance".

Just thinking "was that a test ?" is a sure indication that you are in "audition " mode, and in this mode your have unconsciously but automatically placed her on a pedestal and prized her. Your are "on guard" and on alert against saying or doing anything which will NOt impress her.

You are then NOT you any more.

Come on Jophil, I agree with you a lot of times but not on this one. Like I said earlier, the AW was clearly testing or judging Str8up to see if he'd supplicate. And just because you think for a split second how you respond to her, doesn't mean you are necessarily pedestalizing her or not being yourself. There's no reason that I can see that this isn't how he or any other guy in a similar situation would want to respond anyway.

To be honest no man can just be anything he wants to be and expect it to benefit him with women. I think pedestalizing is supplicating to a woman's unreasonable demands, and giving to her too much of your interest, attention etc. I don't think it means that you can't even consider how to make others see you in high regard and respect you. People, women and even men judge you all the time. Ignoring the fact that they do or refusing to consider how your behavior will be judged doesn't change the fact you'll still be judged.

 

[ketostix]

Sort of, but not really. The thing is women can't SEE "core qualities" directly, but she will notice a ton of indicators. Power, money, social proof and so on are what she knowingly or unknowingly will use to make an initial (and ongoing) assessment.

"You're both right, OK?"

One thing about women is they are quick to judge and compartmentalize a guy based on that quick judgement. Some example of this, you're either a good guy or a jerk, good looking or creepy, successful or a failure. I know those weren't good examples but women look for just the threshold of some quality being there or seemingly lacking and they make a quick binary or black and white judgement.

 

[STR8UP]

Just thinking "was that a test ?" is a sure indication that you are in "audition " mode, and in this mode your have unconsciously but automatically placed her on a pedestal and prized her. Your are "on guard" and on alert against saying or doing anything which will NOt impress her.

You are then NOT you any more.

I knew that is WASN'T a test. The only reason I even thought twice about it was because I got a different look from her after I responded. I was in a c0cky mood that day and although I wouldn't jump on command for her, I usually don't give the kind of answer I gave.

We also got into a discussion about dating, She made a comment about how if a guy took her to the Olive Garden on a first date she would never go out with him again. I was like "WHAAAAAT????".

She tried to rationalize what she had just said and all I kept hearing was "Men must impress women" even though she didn't say it in so many words. I kept throwing it back at her, but of course she couldn't understand a word i was saying.

If anyone wonders why I would never date her....there's reason enough right there. Let some other guy deal with it.

 

[STR8UP]

Sort of, but not really. The thing is women can't SEE "core qualities" directly, but she will notice a ton of indicators. Power, money, social proof and so on are what she knowingly or unknowingly will use to make an initial (and ongoing) assessment.

"You're both right, OK?"

Well, I did say that core qualities are all that matters, but it's not true for certain things. One of the points i was initially trying to make was that women use covert ops to obtain intel, and it isn't necessarily the end result that women look at so much as the personality traits (and a few other select criteria) that are consistent with someone who is able to obtain that end result. So i do stand corrected.

 

[STR8UP]

One thing about women is they are quick to judge and compartmentalize a guy based on that quick judgement. Some example of this, you're either a good guy or a jerk, good looking or creepy, successful or a failure. I know those weren't good examples but women look for just the threshold of some quality being there or seemingly lacking and they make a quick binary or black and white judgement.

This is another important thing to remember.

This is why first impressions are CRUCIAL. If you make a "masculine" impression, chances are good that if you meet her physical criteria, she will be attracted to you. If you make a "neutral" impression and you meet her physical criteria, you MIGHT have a shot in the future if you are able to establish your masculinity. If you make a "less than masculine" impression, she isn't likely to be attracted to you even if you are physically her type.

 

[aliasguy]

Yeah, well, if a chick took me to Olive Garden, I wouldn't like her as much, either. Really. That place sucks.

Just sayin'.

 

[ketostix]

Yeah, well, if a chick took me to Olive Garden, I wouldn't like her as much, either. Really. That place sucks.

Just sayin'.

What if I take a girl to McDonald's AND make her pay her half?:cheer:

I'm just saying any girl who thinks a place on the level of Olive Garden, doesn't have to acually be Olive Garden just any similar level of eatery, is not good enough for her has an entitlement attitude.

 

[STR8UP]

Yeah, well, if a chick took me to Olive Garden, I wouldn't like her as much, either. Really. That place sucks.

Just sayin'.

Haha....the convo started with her suggesting we go to Olive Garden to eat, which I shot down. I told her "This isn't a date!" (meaning that's like the place teenagers go with their dates...I had a couple there anyway)

She responded by saying that she LIKES the Olive Garden, but if a guy took her there for a first date it sets the tone for the relationship.

Now I personally wouldn't take someone there for a first or probably even a third date, but it was the principal of it. She LIKES the place, but it isn't good enough for her princess ass? Like she has to be "treated"?!?

Then she proceeds to tell me how much she likes dating. Well, no sh!t, if I could find some sucker to buy me a $30 dinner twice a week I would like it too. Unfortunately women don't usually line up to buy men semi-expensive dinners on a first date.

I'm glad I realized how much of a waste of time and money "dating" is.

 

[penkitten]

its healthy to park in the far away spots, because then you have to walk just a tad bit further to get in and out of the store. walking is great exercise.

 

[STR8UP]

Oh yea, and I'm glad I never took this particular woman on a date.

 

[STR8UP]

its healthy to park in the far away spots, because then you have to walk just a tad bit further to get in and out of the store. walking is great exercise.

Exactly!

Why people pay big money to go to the gym then complain about having to walk an additional 30 feet is beyond me.

 

[penkitten]

Oh yea, and I'm glad I never took this particular woman on a date.

me too, because i could only imagine the negative stuff that would toxicate your brain!

 

[ketostix]

This is another important thing to remember.

This is why first impressions are CRUCIAL. If you make a "masculine" impression, chances are good that if you meet her physical criteria, she will be attracted to you. If you make a "neutral" impression and you meet her physical criteria, you MIGHT have a shot in the future if you are able to establish your masculinity. If you make a "less than masculine" impression, she isn't likely to be attracted to you even if you are physically her type.

I agree but I think how far you exceed her physical criteria determines how much masculine qualities you would need and vice versa. Being slightly"less than masculine" often times becomes all kinds of subjective good qualities when you far exceed her masculine qualities. You have to meet at least a minimum threshold in both criteria and above minimum in one of them.

 

[Interceptor]

:crackup: :crackup:

me too, because i could only imagine the negative stuff that would toxicate your brain!

:crackup:

 

[penkitten]

Exactly!

Why people pay big money to go to the gym then complain about having to walk an additional 30 feet is beyond me.

see.. i never pay for any sort of gym or club memberships because parking far away is free and less time consuming for me.
ok, i need to loose maybe five pounds myself, but usually just walking in and out of the places i go, is enough.

 

[aliasguy]

What if I take a girl to McDonald's AND make her pay her half?:cheer:

I'm just saying any girl who thinks a place on the level of Olive Garden, doesn't have to acually be Olive Garden just any similar level of eatery, is not good enough for her has an entitlement attitude.

Yeah, I know, Keto.... I was just being a wiseass.

 

[jophil28]

Come on Jophil, I agree with you a lot of times but not on this one. Like I said earlier, the AW was clearly testing or judging Str8up to see if he'd supplicate. And just because you think for a split second how you respond to her, doesn't mean you are necessarily pedestalizing her or not being yourself.
.

I was being deliberately argumentative to try to squeeze some more juice out of this particulare debate, however, NOT all women pull this stuff to test or judge. I have made the point many times that provocative and dramatic behavior from women is NOT testing for evaluative purposes, it is habitual. The faked-up demands and dramatic behaviors are nothing more that cheap attention seeking tactics. There is NO "test" as such, there is no screening in progress and there is no judging in the sense that we are discussing here, and therefore NO assessment of you as a man .
THis behavior is what she learned and adopted ,as a teenager, to get attention. Women love creating drama because it stimulates EMOTIONS and, as the author of this farce, she gets to write and direct and star in her own little 10 minute movie.
THis stuff works for them so they do does more of it. It is that Simple..


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[STR8UP]

me too, because i could only imagine the negative stuff that would toxicate your brain!

I met her when she had just turned 30. She is from eastern Europe and definitely has "good genes" as do many women in that part of the world. The night I met her I admit that I was physically attracted to her, and I got her number and we hung out a few times, but it quickly became evident that a relationship was out of the question with her. I knew she was an AW before I knew what an AW was.

Years later she still hasn't grown up as far as that goes. Do they ever?

 

[penkitten]

But I'm working with Pediatricians right now and 90% of females reach and pass through all the developmental, social, coginitive, motor, and intellectual milestones that are required for growth.

90% of male children are not reaching them on time.

We still have no idea why... although there are theories..

i once read a study, 100 girl babies and 100 boy babies, all different races and ethnicities and nationalities were studied.
babies are all 3 months old.
each baby is tested separately.
baby is placed in crib awake on it's back. mobile is turned on. baby is looking at mobile. adult exists room.
baby is being recorded.
mobile stops.
baby is bored or mad or sad.
baby starts crying.
most all girl babies get pi$$ed that no one comes in and finally turn themselves over onto their bellies to move around.
most all boy babies continue to cry until they either fall asleep or someone comes in to pick them up. they can not figure out how to turn over yet.