Yet another boot camp diary (YABCD)

[Ice Cold]

Wow man. Excellent work. I wanna start doing the same thing soon.

I don't think depriving yourself from coffee/food is a good idea. When you approach the girl, you need to feel your best. If you feel sleepy and your brain does not have enough sugar to function normally you'll come off as an idiot.

Deprive yourself from alcohol and watching tv. Something that will benefit you. With food deprivation you'll only develop a bad mood, low productivity and even a stomach ulcer.

Keep it up.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

week 2, day 3

The coffee/food thing, I dont mean in general (I'm not skipping meals or anything!), I mean like a reward to take a break while I'm in town.. its good because then I can reward myself instantly after doing the BC stuff, whereas if I say no alcohol tonight, its easy to make excuses and drink anyway come the evening.

Anyway, another unproductive day BC wise..

Went to the gym at lunchtime, had a good workout, but aside from the staff I was probably the only person under 50 there.. in fact there was hardly anyone there at all.. guess I should be going at evenings and weekends more, when its more likely they'll be some fitties around..

said hi to one old guy on my way back home.

then went into town for about an hour, to pick up some groceries, and visit the bank.. no real opportunities to start convo.. noticed one or two girls stood outside shops clearly waiting for someone or other, but had no idea how I could approach, couldnt even make eye contact for a hi..

only other chance was again the girl in front of me in the queue in the grocery store, but she didnt even look at me when I joined the queue, I didnt see her face, she wasnt buying anything interesting or unusual,

realised I'm not concentrating on the hi's anymore either, its not so much that I choked, more that I didnt even think about saying it to a couple of hbs, untill it was already too late..

not got anything much planned tommorow, so will try and head to town with primary objective being to notch up some convos and hi's,

have an interview next week for a job in a cool pub, so if I get that, opportunities for DJing will increase rapidly.. although I do have a bit of a dilemna about whether to take it, I also have the opportunity to move to london at the end of the month, but that means going back to square one regarding looking for work, and in the short term makes me much worse off financially, but thats not really got much to do with this although I suppose either way will affect my DJing opportunities.

 

[Golden Arms]

We're all pulling for you, man
Whatever you do don't get discouraged

 

[MrNiceGuy]

week 2, day 4

Cheers for the support guys, I need it.....

another day with a zero convo tally, looks like I'm going to have to repeat week 2,

busy at home.. but decided I'd better leave the house anyway, so went out at 6 to buy some beers and get a takeaway.. not in the best of moods when I left the house, no real opportunites to start convo at all, except maybe in the off licence there was a girl browsing the wines, but again, couldnt make ec (despite trying) or think of a decent opener...

walking back, see loads of hbs all with their arms around some guy.. which only pisses me off even more.. boyfriends are rubbish.. (when they're not me that is.)

also realising I'm choking on hi's that would have been a breeze last week, need to get in a good mood again.

I'm ok making convos, its just getting them started that is the hard part, and at the moment the opportunities I'm getting I dont feel comfortable with..

going to gym tommorow afternoon, so hopefully it'll be busy and they'll be some ladies to chat to.. also probably going out tommorow night, so with the aid of alcohol and a normal pick up setting I should be able to knock up some approaches..
I need a decent day where I concentrate on this.. I've not given it the necessary time recently. The past few days I've just not felt pumped for it at all when I've gone out, I've always had other things on my mind, need to concentrate..

-----------------------------

update, just went and sat outside my house to have a fag, and got chatting to one of my neighbours outside, shes a student at least a 7 or 8.. we chatted for about 5 mins, then she said, I'd better get back to the others (her housemates were waiting for her inside) so I just said 'I'll see you around' she was cute, and we got on allright, but it didnt feel right going for the number close with her only living two doors down, plus I wasnt looking my best, for future reference her name is sarah. If I bump into her again, I'll make sure I try and end with a number close.. or offer of a date, eg. lets go for coffee sometime, I'd like to get to know you better.. etc.

So 1 convo today then.. still leaves me with 8 to go

 

[Walden]

she was cute, and we got on allright, but it didnt feel right going for the number close with her only living two doors down, plus I wasnt looking my best, for future reference her name is sarah. If I bump into her again, I'll make sure I try and end with a number close.. or offer of a date, eg. lets go for coffee sometime, I'd like to get to know you better.. etc.

Dude , it's eerie reading these B/C threads I went thru the exact same mindset.

Like seriously , Week one day three for me I had practically the same experience;

Saw a really cute hippie chiock that I know from the environmental club on campus, stopped and had a cup of coffee with her .She seems really lovely... I was going to go for digits but I thought that I have better odds with her if I play it cool at this stage and try next time...So I might bump into her again.

Listen to that voice that told you not to ask her out. Learn to recognise it.

This is your chump voice talking. Right before you do something challenging (from rock climbing to parachuting to drinking tequila through the eye) your chump voice will give you an excuse not to.

You have to learn to ignore your chump voice!!!!! (Except on the tequila, it's right about the tequila)

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Originally posted by Walden

Listen to that voice that told you not to ask her out. Learn to recognise it.

This is your chump voice talking. Right before you do something challenging (from rock climbing to parachuting to drinking tequila through the eye) your chump voice will give you an excuse not to.

You have to learn to ignore your chump voice!!!!! (Except on the tequila, it's right about the tequila)

Cheers, I am starting to recognise it, but if I'm honest it wasnt there at all tonight. (But I know what you mean, theres one example in my past when I was fighting with my chump voice for at least an hour, and it won ).. it was only after she left that I thought.. "sh*t! should have asked her out.." she kind of caught me by surprise (i.e. I wasnt particularly in a DJ sort of mood when we started chatting) and then she broke off the conversation pretty quickly, 'hey let me get your number' is not yet an instinctive departing phrase for me yet..

Just hoping I bump into her again soon.. I told my mum I had met our new neighbours and she was telling me I should just go round there and invite the whole house out with me.. but I think that would look kinda chumpish.. especially if I just turned up on my own and said, 'hey wanna come to the pub with me?'

 

[MrNiceGuy]

week 2, days 5, 6 & 7

first off, robbiesurp, you still doing BC?? Hows it going? Give us a brief progress report...

anyway, saturday, sunday and monday..

saturday
errm.. busy in the house most of the day I think, or I slept in really late or something.. ah! I went to the gym in the afternoon, strangely it wasnt busy, but a couple of 6s came in just before I left, didnt really have a chance to say anything though. didn't go out drinking, ended up going over to a mates to watch dvds (curse other peoples lack of money!) one hi at the station but that was it..

sunday
again, no opportunities for convo or hi's. Except at the station again, me and this girl both sat down at the same time on this bench, by the time I'd thought 'hang on, I can start a convo here' she'd already got a book out and started reading.. seeing as I'd already been sat there not saying anything I didnt feel like interrupting her to ask what it was she was reading, so I got out my book too.. other than that nothing doing..

monday
better day today. went to an interview for a pub job, then had a wander round town after, in the supermarket I wandered over to the small DVD selection, a couple of girls were trying to decide wether to buy the matrix or not.. I couldnt see how much it was and I said, 'you can get that for 6.99 in HMV' she goes, 'ahhh! 5.99 here!' and pointed to the price tag that I hadnt noticed, we both made comments on how this was pretty cheap and a good deal, and then she walked off, total convo length about 20 secs probably, so I cant really count it..

Later got phone call about job, I got it! so tommorow I start my first shift in the busiest student pub in town, should hopefully provide plenty of opportunities to practice..

Went to the gym in the evening, a couple of hi's to guys while I was waiting to use the machine they were on.. also said hi to a pair of hbs working out together, couldnt get a convo started though, they were moving from exercise to exercise pretty quickly.

so that was week 2, didnt get anywhere near the required 10 2 minute convos, so I think I'll repeat it again next week, which starts tommorow, hopefully the tedium of collecting glasses/serving drinks, and the large volume of young women present should mean I get a chance to do plenty of DJing.. also looking forward to meeting my co-workers, bound to be plenty of young women among them.....

 

[SamePendo]

Keep this up!
Remember, try not to be at your comfort zone. Constatly conquer that which isnt at your comfort zone.

Oh, and I forgot to say:
-Congrats on the job!
-That simple hi you said to the hb8 at the gym is great stuff if you turn out to see them ever again, a milestone!

 

[RobbieSurp]

Still going... week 1 day 4 - week 2 day 5

Hey MrNiceGuy,

Good posts. Keep it up, I can see a lot of progress. I'm still going with the BC. I've been on the road (musician) so it's been kind of hard to post.

Week 1 went really well. I got all 50 Hi's and a bunch of convos I wasn't even looking for. EC is almost second nature. The change in my overall confidence level is astonishing. This BC thing helps with WAY more than bagging chicks. It can affect your whole outlook. Powerful.

Week 2 has been good so far. I'm up to 6 convos with strangers. It's hard to find complete strangers on the road, because it's pretty easy to talk to someone if they just paid $15 to see you perform. So I'm not counting those convos, just one's that I start cold with strangers that don't recognize me.

Keep it up. I'll post more as I can.

6 down 4 to go

 

[Starman]

Mr. NiceGuy..just a quick note

I notice when you say "HI!" and you get a response..you feel good about yourself

when you dont get a response..you seem to come down hard on yourself

this has a way of kind of "cancelling" the effect in your progress

you need to start looking at these interactions in a different perspective

all this is telling you is that some people are sociable, and some people are not

learn not to take them PERSONALLY (this is a MAJOR issue that keeps people from continuing the bootcamp)

Ive noticed sometimes a HB may pass me by and say "HI!" and they smile..even tho im a personable guy..and the girl may be cute..sometimes I just get taken off guard..and dont say "HI" back or smile back..because there is no time

something to consider when making EC and smiling..dont think of it as a success/failure" but more like sociable/or not sociable

also try places like art museums (they are free with people just lingering around)

 

[MrNiceGuy]

my legs hurt, week 2 (again) day 1

cheers for the support guys, my main problem with finding covos last week was finding somewhere where people weren't so busy doing other things, the high street wasnt ideal, anyway..

owww...

my knees and my feet hurt.. spent 3 hours delivering food to different people and then another 3 cleaning up the pub.. didnt realise pubs could get so busy on tuesdays..

anyway.. hundreds of hi's yesterday but thats mainly due to my new job.. again, not pushing me out of comfort zone, the setting tells me its ok to say hello to everyone I pass.. and I'm getting sick of saying 'enjoy your meal' already, give me some c+f equivalents I can use with the hbs

plenty of convos too, mainly with all the new staff that I'm working with, so not sure if I can really count them, although it was down to me to start most of them, due to the sheer amount of work we're expected to do though didnt really get to anything more than fluff talk though. hopefully when I do a daytime shift tommorow I'll get more chance for some better convos with all these new ladies. Thinking I should try and get some light flirting, sexual joking etc. going cos yesterday was all basic, whats your name? how long you been working here for? are you studying? etc. etc. and similar responses from me.. standard get to know you stuff, but not too interesting..

-----
edit.. one thing I noticed on monday during my interview, the woman interviewing me wrote down "very confident" on her bit of paper, and I was completely relaxed and well, feeling confident despite never having done that sort of work before, the shift manager last night also said he was impressed with me, so its another example of how I'm confident in most areas of my life but when it comes to talking to complete strangers with no context, and number closing girls, I suck.. stupid really, but there you go..

 

[chlywly]

The chump voice is your ego, years of yoga helped me understand why and where it comes from, believe it or not its ironic that when you build your self confidense some of you may be feeding your ego; the very same thing that brings out that chump voice, just on a different plane Being humble and

Anyways back to what I was saying, I was at a restaurant with my peeps, really expensive fancy place, across from me was this gorgeouse HB10 no doubt, sitting with her peeps as well...

The whole time she was checking me out, we made major EC over 20 times, but that chump (ego) voice, kept telling me not to ask her b/c her parents were there... Silly as you can imagine.

Even before leaving she was waiting for me to talk to her, as I walked into the washroom I was going to come out and talk to her, but then she was gone.

Don't waste TIME! Make the move!

 

[MrNiceGuy]

week 2, repeated days err 2 to 7

well, working in a pub is hard work, especially when I'm doing about 50 hours a week..

its quite good fun.. and the opportunities for birdwatching are outstanding, there are so many fitties in there its unbelieveable.. but I'm so busy there is never any time to stop and chat, plus alot of the girls are there with guys too, still, I make a special effort to check back on food orders with the tables with pretty ladies on, and always make sure I'm friendly and say hi to them when I'm collecting glasses...

for the most part, most little conversations are initiated by the customer, although occasionally I'll make a comment and get something going, but like I said theres never time to stop for longer than a few seconds.. maybe things will be a bit different when I get behind the bar this week,

one missed opp this week, due to its unexpectedness and my busyness I wasn't really sure how to play it.. was wandering around the garden collecting glasses, and a table with 3 girls on called me over, asked me to go to the bar to get a beermat or something so they could wipe off the chairs (it had been raining earlier) I got out my cloth and said I'd do it and started doing it myself, although one of the girls insisted on taking the cloth rather than making me do it, this lead into a convo where they started asking me questions about me and my job, so I asked a bit about them, then said I'd better get back to work, so I did, later I wandered past the table again and they called me over again and asked me to stop and sit with them, I said 'I can't, I'm working, I'll get in trouble' then they said at least stop and have a cigarette with us, so I decide I would, so I stopped and chatted for about 10 mins with them (while looking over my shoulder for the manager), thing is there was 2 blokes with them as well, who talked abit with me, and I couldnt work out who was with who.. plus if I'd gone for digits which girl would I have asked? anyway, I'm working lots of shifts, so I'm sure I'll bump into them again at some point...

final dilemna is do I try and go for any of the girls at work... some of them are really nice, but I'm reluctant to try hitting on people that I'm going to have to be working with. If it turns out that me and one of the girls is finishing at the same time though I may well opt for the lets go for a drink option, but seeing as most of the time I work till close thats unlikely..

only 2 days off a week, and I need to recover during those.. so the traditional bc searching for chicks may have to go on hold for a while..

oh yeah, I just remembered I went out on saturday night, but I was so tired (from working earlier) and drunk I wasnt thinking/concentrating on trying to pull girls at all, from what I can remember there weren't that many nice girls in there anyway,

 

[MrNiceGuy]

week 2 day 7 sort of

ok, I can see this thread slipping off the first page..

didn't do much today, slept alot to recover much needed energy, then went to the gym later, one hottie getting her induction who I smiled at, but that was it..

anyway, I'd appreciate thoughts on wether I should go for any of the girls at my new job, I'm thinking unless I really feel good vibes from one of them I should leave well alone, its not like I can ask them all out without developing a rep so should I leave it or what..

 

[MrNiceGuy]

week 3, days 1 and 2

well, now after a week at work, I'm slowly working out who is shagging who and so on, a surprisingly high number of the staff seem to be going out with each other.

Quite a few more than 2 min convos yesterday, but all with male customers unfortunately, closest I came to attractive females, was a group of young girls who started joking with me about whether I could do table service for them.. although I suppose I did do a couple of long convos with a couple more attractive female members of staff I hadnt met yet..

Also witnessing some AFCness in action from one of the other guys that has started.. one of the girls on the staff is particularly drop dead gorgeous and sweet looking, and not at all a b*tch or anything all the men on the staff flirt with her outrageously, its quite obvious he fancies her, yesterday he came in, while she was working, bought himself a drink and then offered to buy her one too, later after close and we'd finished clearing up she was sat with me and a couple the other guys, and she says, in a very.. confused way, 'milo bought me a drink today' when we suggested it was cos he fancied her she seemed very surprised, from her reaction seems like the poor guy has been friendzoned already.

been to the gym today too, its not turning out to be the honeypot I was hoping for, only 1 or 2 attractive girls there today, and they just seem to come in and spend ages on the cardio equipment, they never seem to take a break! so theres no chance to chat while they're resting..

anyway, working both friday and saturday night this week, till close, so no chance to go out, but I will be in contact with plenty of totty, shouldnt be too hard to get some convo practice going..

 

[MrNiceGuy]

week 3, day 3

another half decent day at work, plenty of smiles and eye contact from some of the female customers while I was collecting glasses but no chances to chat really.. also got to know some of my female co-workers a bit better.

will try and make more of an effort tommorow night (fri) perhaps I should take more time making eye contact with the people on the table before rushing off after picking up empties.. may have more chances while working on the bar too...

 

[MrNiceGuy]

rest of week 3..

10 convos with hbs this week? not looking likely..

most of the pretty women only enter the pub in the busy times when I'm rushed off my feet, and usually they are with guys, even if they aren't I'm so busy theres no time for me to stop and initiate convo.. anyway, its very very rare to find a table with only girls sat on, theres always guys present.. will keep trying though..

but.. more pretty women on the staff I am getting to know, which is cool..

chump voice triumphed again yesterday too which pissed me off a little, havent time to post about it now though.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

arrgghh I should be in week 4 now!

but, I think I'll redo week 3 again..

nevertheless I am finally behind the bar!!!

and on my first shift there, a hb bought me a drink!!

wahoo!

well what happened was I forgot about a promo, so overcharged her, while it was being sorted out she apologised for not reminding me about the promo and offered to buy me a drink, I was so surprised I didnt think to say, 'give me your number so I can return the favour sometime' (this is the first time any girl I've just met has bought me a drink) so I missed out there, especially as she was giving me the eye when she was leaving the pub (i was busy cleaning the bar though) so things are looking up, more chances for convo on the bar too, but hbs are still in (relatively) short supply compared to all the other customers..

regarding my chump voice, was chatting to the very fit girl, she was moaning about the guy she is 'seeing' not calling her, then while moaning about the bar says 'milo keeps tickling me which isnt helping' (so it seems she is wise to his antics and isnt interested) and then out of the blue says to me, 'I want to see finding nemo', did I repond with 'so do I, lets go next week', nope.. the fact she'd just revealed she was 'seeing' someone, and the fact I'm still a big wuss meant I chickened out.. which has pissed me off, and now shes been sacked from work too, so I'm not going to see her much (if at all),

anyway, there is now potential while behind the bar, plus plenty more fitties starting work here too.

 

[SamePendo]

I was wondering where you were.. good to see you here, and having good action.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

yep still going..

hardest part at the moment is reminding myself that I am trying to pick up women and staying focused, that way I won't get so thrown when opportunities present themselves out of the blue in the way I just posted about.. it should also lead to me creating more opportunities..

work is pretty busy though.. but I'm trying..