Would you seriously consider a single mom

[StevenR]

Would you guys consider seriously dating a single mom? Assume she is in her mid 20's, she is an HB9.5-10, you seem to click personality wise, and you only had sex with her once but it was the best, most passionate sex you ever had with someone who could be a playboy model, would you consider her for a relationship?

 

[KontrollerX]

Generally no.

I don't want to raise another man's offspring nor do I want the kids getting attached to me and then suddenly the relationship is over for one reason or another.

The only thing that could possibly change my mind is a truly exceptional woman, a dream woman on all levels with the body of Nikki Nova and a laid back non ballbuster non feminist personality who is not over sensitive and who has a wicked sense of humour.

So yeah basically I'd have to win the lottery to ever consider one.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo StevenR,



It's hard to say, soldier. Every woman, and every situation is different. The best I can tell you is to protect your heart, protect "your sperm", and take the time to see just what type of relationship you can have with this woman-----if any.

I've found that the TYPE of person that you meet, and the TYPE of person that YOU are, determine the TYPE of relationship you can, and/or "should" have. If you are mature enough (see----knowledgeable enough of what it takes to date in today's dating world filled with games of desire AND DECEPTION), I say just protect your heart and "your sperm" and keep going at this SLOWLY.

Give this woman time to be who she's "going to be". And pay close attention to things like character, core compatibility, and CONSISTENCY of good behavior that she exhibits towards you.

The WORST thing you can do is put on industrial strength BLINDERS to how you two interact OVERALL-----due to the sexual rush that you're feeling right now.

Sex is not the SOLE criteria for determining whether a woman is suitable for a relationship, just like just because a woman is a single mother does not ALWAYS mean that she is not a suitable candidate for a relationship.

Away from the internet, and apart from the approval, or disapproval of friends, family, and associates, you will find it easier to accept that life----and dating women, in particular, oftentimes "invites" you to take a more nuianced approach to certain situations.

You, me, and everybody else come with a collection of positive, negative, and neutral atributes. Of course, it is always best to pursue the "ideal woman, in the ideal situation". But since we live in the real world, it is usually best to judge your choice in women based on the things that you personally feel are most important to you, your maturity level, and your ultimate future.

And the key to knowing whether or not you should date WHOEVER you happen to meet is by progressively knowing who YOU are, and what YOU want out of life in general----and relationships in particular. Then, the more you grow in this regard, the more you will know internally what situations with women are worth "embracing", and what situations with women are definite "dealbreakers".

Take your time, consider other folks' opinions on here----especially those you respect------THEN, make your OWN decision.


March on.

 

[The Bat]

Never.

Unless I was getting old, desperate, and great sex with good women were hard to find. And if I was making countless threads about the urge to get married real fast. Then yes, definitely yes.

I can predict what is going to happen with your situation here. Knowing your post history, I would be pretty accurate too. But I'm not going to make predictions because I'm no oracle, and frankly, I want the best for you.

There are lot of factors here working AGAINST your best interest. I'm not saying you need to abort but you do need to abort this idea of, "She might be the one...even though there are some red flags...but damn it, she treats me well right now and that's how it will be for the upcoming months."

Keep casually dating her and stay away from the kid for the time being.

 

[stuka1939]

So is being a single mom the kiss of death for a woman?

My cousin is an attractive 29 year old who has two three year old adorable twins.

Is she going to have a hard time meeting guys because of this.

 

[slaog]

Ideally it's best not to because not only will you have to take care of the kids if things progress but you won't be the womans no1 the kids will. Women with kids also - IMO - value rich men more for obvious reasons.

It would also take exceptional circumstances for me to date a woman with kid(s).

So is being a single mom the kiss of death for a woman?

My cousin is an attractive 29 year old who has two three year old adorable twins.

Is she going to have a hard time meeting guys because of this.

If she is attractive she won't have a hard time meeting men.

 

[LoneSilver]

"Your not my daddy... leave me alone" rings in my ears from dating a single Mom once..Dam brat kid drove me nuts his Mom kissed the kids butt let him sleep with her a 6 year old and our sex life soon became a joke..maybe not all single mothers are like this but one dam thing I know their offspring is number 1 and you will always be number 2.

Brat kid was one thing then the ex shows up to pick the brat up and starts telling the dad I was mean to him blah blah blah the ex looks at me like he's going to kick my butt..theres so much that goes on in these situations it's not worth it in emotional energy.

Personally unless the kids are out of the house then there might be hope for me to date and or develop a relationship with a single mother but don't need to now having better luck with babes with no youngin'.

To the OP excuse my rant.. Depending on where you are in emotional maturity this will determine your decision but just remember sex can be great with anyone but that don't mean it's a match made in heaven the single mom with the brat kid was some good ass but not worth the headaches in the long run.

LoneSilver

 

[Jitterbug]

I met a 21 year old half Mexican half Anglo single mum (w/ a 1.5 year old baby) who looks like Eva Longoria's sister. We clicked right away but she was looking for something serious and not open to the idea of a casual one and I couldn't see how she would be able to spend any valuable time with me while looking after her baby, studying part-time and working full time. Very admirable girl but I don't want to be half way down her priority list if we were to be in a relationship.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Steven R,
Aah this is such a familiar story....we have had two threads on this already this year.....Sure enjoy her favours,but don't get emotionally involved mate,and always have some alternative options else she may well coerce you into marriage...she's not the problem the kids are...Its a hard road you have chosen to walk friend be aware of the dangers...

 

[sodbuster]

One of the other problems comes in later at Marriage.Not your kid to discipline,but you or your wifes money[that should be joint,cause all your money will be joint in the divorce]will be expected to bail them out of jams,buy vehicles,help with college etc.

 

[Warrior74]

read this and tell me if you're ready to act in this mannor.

http://www.midlifebachelor.com/truths/truths-ft9.html#sevenprinciples

Some of that I honestly can't do.

To anwser the OP. Maybe...but only if we agree on many many things.

 

[StevenR]

Ideally it's best not to because not only will you have to take care of the kids if things progress but you won't be the womans no1 the kids will. Women with kids also - IMO - value rich men more for obvious reasons.

It would also take exceptional circumstances for me to date a woman with kid(s).


If she is attractive she won't have a hard time meeting men.

On Match.com there are tons of what you would call MILF's on there, I have heard they have no problem getting guys interested, she should try online dating. incidentally, I did not meet the one I am talking about through Match, but at the bookstore, it was my first attempt at a field pickup in months and turns out we have more interesting things to talk about than I do with most women, and one thing led to another. Actually we were browsing next to each other and she said something to me first, so I can't take all the credit.

I met another single mommy from Match today in spite of the fact that all I can think about is that other one I met. But I paid the 34 bucks so I am gonna try to get my moneys worth there lol. Two other MILF's./Cougars in their early 40's but still have hot bodies want to meet me from there too, without me even writing to them, they contacted me first. But at this point I am not interested in anything serious with them, and I am still really shy for some reason when I meet women from online in person.

One more question, speaking of attractive older women. I know this other attractive older lady, prob late 30's or early 40's from a class I took at the city I used to live in about 100miles from here. I kinda got the feeling she liked me from before but wasn't sure, plus I had a girlfriend then. She sent me an email the other day asking how I was doing(we have been sporadic penpals ever since). After a couple more emails she tells me about a dance class she it taking, and then she says I can stay at her place if I would like to visit and go dancing with her. Do you guys think this is some sort of sexual invitation or am I reading too much into that?

 

[cedd]

double post

 

[cedd]

Sure enjoy her favours,but don't get emotionally involved mate,and always have some alternative options else she may well coerce you into marriage...she's not the problem the kids are

If she can easily distinguish her MOTHERS ROLE between her GIRFRIENDS ROLE then go for it.
If she cant make dates with you because of her kids then move on.
She MUST know you can walk away if she doesnt find time for YOU. simple.

Given that, If she has HIGH IL and is smart enough she'll find time to be with you AND ONLY THE TWO OF YOU. Plus she wd perfectly understand your wish not seeing her kids for the time being.

You will never be the #1 in her life but if you know how to be respected by her, you can easily be the #1a...

cheers

 

[DJDamage]

Yes if:

1) She is strickly looking for just a hard d1ck and nothing serious.

2) If her offspring came from a marriage situation. I would be leery of women who just have baby daddy/ies around 'cause it shows that she is not a responsible individual and I could end up in the same boat.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She is strickly looking for just a hard d1ck and nothing serious.


I had a single mommy ex of mine who is very attractive and good in bed tell me tonight, "Why can't men handle that at this point in my life, all I really want is to get laid? I don't want to go on dates; I don't want to talk; I just want to fvck. You would think that men would think I am the perfect woman, but none of them can handle it."

 

[Ballie]

Fact of life, nearly all woman want kids - be wary of those that dont. If you got kids of your own then its not a problem at all. I rather date a woman with kids than one who is desperate to have her own and wants you to father them. Have fun, but beware of the marriage trap - they need someone to help support them.

 

[MatureDJ]

In my current stage of life (no kids), I would say no - and even for a casual relationship because of the possibility of pregnancy.

It is an evolutionary fact that men are phobic of single mommies, in the same way that lions are afraid of men - i.e., men who would not be repelled by a single mommy would be more likely to not have as many children, and thus lose the evolutionary game, just as lions that did not fear men got slaughtered.

The objective explanation for this is that the fact of a woman having a child is major demerit to her net sexual market value. Now, if a man who is hard up may decide that there are other qualities in a certain single mommy that would make up for the this demerit.

The choice would be:

- fat, bad attitude, maiden

- fine, better attitude single mommy

Some men have not consider this to be a problem. I remember talking to an American man of Asian decent in Ukraine who was considering dating a MILF. I asked him if he had a problem with her having a kid, and basically said that if she was hot enough, it would be worth it.

I have to admit that if I found myself as a divorced dad, I would no longer have a problem with dating a single mommy, since there would be balance in the whole situation. I would still not get married because of the legal entanglements, and I would not want some other man's child to officially live with me, but would not have a problem sleeping over often at her place.

 

[StevenR]

I don't have kids, but I am less than one year short of 35 and she is 24, so she has plenty more time to have kids. She was married and divorced a year ago. At 35 and over if I use Match.com to get a date it will be very difficult for me to find a childless woman under 30 who wants to have kids, and who is willing to meet a guy over 35.

So if the trade off for kids is that she is a decade younger than me, is an hb10 and still has a killer body, is great in bed, is in real estate and still makes a six figure income herself even in this economy, so I am not supporting her kids financially since she currently makes more than I do, and she is cool with my religious beliefs, or in my case lack therof, and many women are not.

 

[Bronxtal112]

Would you guys consider seriously dating a single mom? Assume she is in her mid 20's, she is an HB9.5-10, you seem to click personality wise, and you only had sex with her once but it was the best, most passionate sex you ever had with someone who could be a playboy model, would you consider her for a relationship?

I wouldnt do it. Dated one for 3 months, until I couldnt take it anymore. Even though the sex was good, the drama for me was too much.

But hey, thats just me.