Would you marry again?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I believe that this particular thread is one of the most thorough threads on marriage in the forum. It covers pretty much every pro, con, misconception and truth about the institution from many people in the forum.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=115398

 

[STR8UP]

The most blatant tell-tale sign of any AFC is that he equates achieving a woman's intimacy with "luck."

I would not equate achieving a woman's intimacy to luck, HOWEVER....

I do believe that luck plays a large part in the ability to find a woman who is worthy of MY long term intimacy.

I'm glad the majority of the flack I get for not being married comes from jealous older broads and sometimes the younger ones who are frustrated because I won't tie myself down with THEM, hehe

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I'm glad the majority of the flack I get for not being married comes from jealous older broads and sometimes the younger ones who are frustrated because I won't tie myself down with THEM, hehe

Misery loves company, just keep your hands over your ears.

 

[romangod]

=STR8UP
I'm glad the majority of the flack I get for not being married comes from jealous older broads and sometimes the younger ones who are frustrated because I won't tie myself down with THEM, hehe

Most of the flack I got for not being married came from my parents. They are old-fashioned immigrants who will celebrate 55 years together next month.

My mother caught on early about western marriages and changed her tune after my brother and two sisters all went through a divorce. It went from "when are you getting married?" to "take your time". She has total disdain for modern women and their lack of commitment to their oath, their husband and their family.


My father is a different story. He thinks that I could get as lucky as he did with my mother and thinks nothing has changed. They were both virgins when they got married and struggled to raise 5 children. It was great!

English isn't his first language but I remember our only father-son talk about marriage and sex. He told me, "Meet nice girl but don't knock her down." :box:

 

[LoneSilver]

I just wanted to say I never married and I will be 49 this April and good to know others in our age group are single as well.

I was involved back when I was in my 20's with a religious nut that totally turned me off to marriage completely.

I plan on keeping it that way... single.

LoneSilver

 

[romangod]

I just wanted to say I never married and I will be 49 this April and good to know others in our age group are single as well.

I was involved back when I was in my 20's with a religious nut that totally turned me off to marriage completely.

I plan on keeping it that way... single.

LoneSilver

Good move. You're almost the same age as me and are probably set in your ways. To give up the freedom now would be a major challenge and risk with limited rewards IMHO. Thanks for posting.


.

 

[joekerr31]

Good move. You're almost the same age as me and are probably set in your ways. To give up the freedom now would be a major challenge and risk with limited rewards IMHO. Thanks for posting.


.

being set in your ways is bad. thats why people get old, becuase they stop embrace novel situations.

my rule of thumb in life is CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE.

the more the better. you only go around once, why do you want to experience the same thing day in and day out (ie. routine).

be open to all possibilities at all times in life. get married when you're 85 if you want.

 

[Colossus]

being set in your ways is bad. thats why people get old, becuase they stop embrace novel situations.

my rule of thumb in life is CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE.

the more the better. you only go around once, why do you want to experience the same thing day in and day out (ie. routine).

be open to all possibilities at all times in life. get married when you're 85 if you want.

I agree with joekerr--dont become too set in your ways. That's how people become miserable. I will not put the label of "never" on myself getting married. I may say 'not for a while', or not until Ive completed x', but never say never.

 

[romangod]

being set in your ways is bad. thats why people get old, becuase they stop embrace novel situations.

I would disagree with this. Being set in certain ways can be good. For example, going to the gym can be routine but is very beneficial both physically and mentally. Being set in your belief that marriage is difficult and is a major risk can save you much heart ache and useless emotional energy, However, I do understand your point.

.

 

[2Cool]

I have been married almost 11 years, this March, and I have known my wife for 20 years. For me I found the right one the first time. If I were to find myself all of a sudden single, I would not even consider the possibility of marriage again.

Why, my standards are too high and the effort, energy, and time to learn to deal with each other is simply too much to try all over again, in my opinion. I was lucky to find my wife and we have been on this journey for 20 years. We have really got into the groove, so to speak, within the past 5 years. So, the work involved with marriage is not something to be taken lightly.

For me once is enough.

 

[LoneSilver]

I have been around to many divorces where friends, brothers have gone through the crap but I will add I have lived long enough that anything is possible but being single is find with me.

My folks have been together going on 59 years.

LoneSilver

 

[Adam007]

U should get married again bcoz life never stop for others

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I'm in the process of getting my second divorce at 47. Would I marry again? Only if she had a lot of zeros in her bank statement and if I loved her as much as I love myself. She'd have to be freaking amazing. If not, then why would anyone marry in the first place? I learned twice...of course, you might wonder about my nickname ;-)

 

[Adam007]

u should marry again bcoz life never stops for others.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Bullsh!t.

I think it's necessary for every man to get married - ONCE.

There are a number of different factors which number in on my statement but the two which matter the most are:

1. You gain a true understanding of who you are and what you will and will not relinquish regarding your moral standing, personal attainment and what you'll gain in experience and reflection.

2. Women look to men who have never been married as extremely suspect. Societal crap aside, women can sense whether a man has the congruence in order to maintain a relationship for any length of time.

Whether said relationship lasts 'til death do us part is completely irrelevant. We all know we need to skeet a marriage out of our system in order to feel part of today's society. And I'm sure I'll hear a couple of guys say: "But Karma, I will never get married because I haven't found the perfect woman, or the perfect circumstance." or some other lame ass excuse but it's a crock of utter sh!t.

All of us men have to take the dive into monogamy legally in order to prove to ourselves that we have the balls to follow through with commitment.

I've been married. I'll never do it again because I know what it was I was settling for. I will never settle for anything ever again.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Aren't you in a LTR now, Karma? Does she know you'll never marry her?

Women seem to like it that I am divorced. It makes them want to compete with my ex-wife, and they are all jealous of her, because she is the only women that I ever married. That has been the dynamic in my past few relationships. My ex-wife, who is ironically now a marriage counselor, said that women see a divorced man as desirable because it is proof that at least one women considered him valuable enough marry him.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Aren't you in a LTR now, Karma? Does she know you'll never marry her?

Women seem to like it that I am divorced. It makes them want to compete with my ex-wife, and they are all jealous of her, because she is the only women that I ever married. That has been the dynamic in my past few relationships. My ex-wife, who is ironically now a marriage counselor, said that women see a divorced man as desirable because it is proof that at least one women considered him valuable enough marry him.

Yes Sir. I'm completely in a healthy, monogamous relationship now. She is well aware and respectful that I will never be a betrothed man again. The allure of the divorcee is precisely what you said; A married man has already shown he can commit to a societal ideal and perhaps she is "woman enough" to get him to dive into that pool again.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She is well aware and respectful that I will never be a betrothed man again.

That makes her a unique woman. Is she divorced, too? Unless she is jaded from a previous marriage, it would be very rare for a woman to not want to get married. Do you think that maybe she wants to, but likes you enough to tell you she doesn't? After I got divorced, my ex-wife eventually told me that she did not like a few things about me that she had always emphatically professed that she was ok with. That was a shock. Why would a woman not want to get married? Unless there is a painful divorce in her, or her family's history, then I don't see it

 

[KarmaSutra]

She is well aware and respectful that I will never be a betrothed man again.

That makes her a unique woman. Is she divorced, too? Unless she is jaded from a previous marriage, it would be very rare for a woman to not want to get married. Do you think that maybe she wants to, but likes you enough to tell you she doesn't? After I got divorced, my ex-wife eventually told me that she did not like a few things about me that she had always emphatically professed that she was ok with. That was a shock. Why would a woman not want to get married? Unless there is a painful divorce in her, or her family's history, then I don't see it

Mine was her second divorce so she's been through all of that. And she is not a typical woman, she refuses to bend to societal / familial pressures and is quite content with us living our lives on our terms with no restrictions.

It's called maturity and is so very rare in Western culture.

 

[Bible_Belt]

quite content with us living our lives on our terms


Amen for life on your own terms. Good for you.