Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
You still haven't explained why it's counter productive. And in explaining that, explain why a DJ would choose to be a DJ with only certain people? Wouldn't this be counter productive in that if a guy isn't a complete DJ, he'd be just pretending to be one? And what's the difference between women you're attracted to as apposed to women you aren't? Aren't women just women, no matter what?
Counterproductive definition - "Tending to hinder rather than serve one's purpose."
The question raised by the orignial thread maker was: would you flirt with a chick you are not intersted in??
By flirting he convays that he wants to practice his skills on a chick in order to raise her interest level in him but he does not want to get with her. Why would you do such a thing? By raising the interest level of an unattractive chick in which you are comfertable talking to, in a sense believing that you are doing well
and convincing yourself that you CAN DO THE SAME THING WITH A CHICK YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO AND WANT TO PICK HER UP. This is essence hinders your skills in the long run, and therefore its COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. The orignal poster is a self admitted not a DJ and therefore he has steps to go in order to be comfertable with everyone not just unattractive females.
Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
What would be the difference in categorizing them? Wouldn't that be putting forth a ton of effort that could be a waste of time rather than just approaching and being your charming self? Which brings up another thing, what purpose would it serve not to market yourself completely? Everyone talks about social proof, why discriminate against someone who could put in a good word for you to her HB friends? Have you actually thought this out?
We always put the women into different catagories: ATTRACTIVE AND UNATTRACTIVE. Its true that when you are a DJ, it shouldn't matter of how you treat them UNLESS YOU ARE SERIOUSLY TRYING TO RAISE INTEREST LEVEL FOR THE SOUL PURPOSE OF DATING THEM, then of coarse you would treat them differently. I doubt you can control your brain from flooding you with images of you wanting to fvck her or control the increase beating of your heart, in your mind you are already treating her differently.
Social proof is important but I never said to "discriminate against someone". If you are your charming self then be like that with everyone. Women are the one who flirt, and a man does not need to. This topic was already disscused before and the following people can explain it better then I can.
Deep Dish -
Women are almost always the true initiators, not the man. She initiates, you respond. She volleys hints for you to approach, you approach. (Or, she gravitates towards you, you talk). She flirts, you ask her out. Bada bing!
AD-
Flirting was invented by women as an attention-seeking device. Society tells a woman that it is improper to ask a man out. So women flirt to get your attention to let you know, non verbally, of their ROMANTIC interest in you.
It is not necessary for a man to flirt. He doesn't have to 'telegraph' his romantic interest . That's because HE does the asking out. Men are very confused in this area. Flirting is for women.
You 'telegraph' your romantic interest in a woman by asking for her HOME phone number. That is the male 'flirting' so to speak.
When you ask for the number she will automatically know you are interested in her romantically.
If you don't ask, you are in danger of falling in the friend zone. That's because you didn't 'flirt' by asking for the number.
You didn't let her know your true feelings: To ask her out.
Survivor -
I don't think you all get the jist of what Anti-Dump was trying to state. While he did say that he was against flirting, read his entire reply and you'll comprehend that he was only against it for the sake "telegraphing" romantic interest.
Flirting and kino are fine, but only if its a genuine part of your personality, and not just some empty tactic used for the slim hope that her IL will raise. In the case of flirting and kinoing just to impress a girl, Anti-Dump was right. Flirting would just be another form of supplication.
However, if you develop yourself such that you are naturally open and comfortable with women, kino and flirting become apart of your true personality, and is not just some "weapon in your DJ arsenal". Women can tell the difference.
I don't think AD was against flirting, but rather against tactical flirting just for sake of impressing women. Whether or not you follow AD's advice depends alot on your level of experience and your ability to control your own emotions.
In conculsion, if you have no problems talking to everyone then you can "flirt" with every chick you meet regardless if you are attracted to her or not If however you are inexperienced with gaming attractive women and you are selective in your "flirting" then don't do it.