Packers2010
Master Don Juan
for the past month things... there not good. i think i have been handling them well. though it's getting worse.
my home life isn't great and to say my Christmas was good. is like saying romro can throw a football. he can't. there are so many goals i won't to complete this year, though right now i don't feel as well as i want to mentally. ( mainly because i went to see that girls I've been texting. it didn't go well though it didn't go bad i don' think. i need to be more aggressive. )
there are 2 sides to me right now. the one that pours out for attention like this. IE post this thread. and the one who says just get on with the fookin job. there as been so many threads i would have maid though this second personality kicks in and says it's not worth it.
it's so hard to explain. i sit here hung over, annoyed i went to see the girl i am fall for ( yeah, i need to get more girls) and i'm pissed i never kissed her. sure i don't think the opportunity came up last night, but i could have just grabbed her and done it, but i didn't. it's like, " i don't know how" but when you think about it it's easy. you walk up to her grab her face and kiss her.... so why is it so hard?
I've had an easy life, and everything I need ( food shelter clothing and few extras on the side) has been given to me. i feel bad, becuse i WANT to go sort this out, but i always feel like I am a poosy for doing so. like my problems are nothing. it's just me being less of a man or something... i'm not quite sure.
i don't really have anyone i can talk to about this stiff. my folks are kicking off here and i am in the middle, my dad is an alcoholic. my mum just dose most of her things out of spite and is annoying as hell. i really would like to just press ctrl alt del and find the escape key. it's too much for me. everything too much for me it's so pathetic. like i have a good life. i mean everything is handed to me. the ONLY thing i have ever had to work for is my cert 3 in financial services. witch i got! i'm so proud of myself.
I've always been told i am a P.O.S from every one in high school, to my mother on a dial basis. since school was so crazy ( teacher fooking the class over) i haven't had time to think. i'm on 6 week holidays. so straight after the stress of school i found a depression witch i haven't felt since i was 16. it was pretty alarming. i spent a week staying up all night till the dawn and watching skins. ( don't ask me why i don't know why it was skins, though i really felt for the char. in that show)
i think i NEED to go so i can get my head right, it hasn't been right for a long time. i know that, if i'm going to make the lofty goals i have set myself for this year, ( will post them up later in a different thread. ) then i will have to get my mind right so it can focus on the task at hand. not trying to to wort out the mess that's up there.
i just want to be stronger mentally because when i come it comes to **** tests, I'm failing them pretty bad right now. maybe i just need to have 1000 of them so i have the reference exp. but being more mentally sane right now can't hurt.
we was coming home from the casino last night in a taxi, i was next to the girl I've been texting and i pointed to one of the tall bank buildings. i said " i'm going to be working at the top of one of those one day" i smiled when i said it. it made me feel good. just to say it out allowed. i'm smiling right now as i say it.
i know this is one hell of a crazy rant, but my question is do you think it would be worth the money being spent on going to see a psych? I've been to one in school, only because they made me. it wasn't for very long and i hated it. ( the person i saw was Russian and i hated her. ) maybe if i mind the right person it might work out.
my home life isn't great and to say my Christmas was good. is like saying romro can throw a football. he can't. there are so many goals i won't to complete this year, though right now i don't feel as well as i want to mentally. ( mainly because i went to see that girls I've been texting. it didn't go well though it didn't go bad i don' think. i need to be more aggressive. )
there are 2 sides to me right now. the one that pours out for attention like this. IE post this thread. and the one who says just get on with the fookin job. there as been so many threads i would have maid though this second personality kicks in and says it's not worth it.
it's so hard to explain. i sit here hung over, annoyed i went to see the girl i am fall for ( yeah, i need to get more girls) and i'm pissed i never kissed her. sure i don't think the opportunity came up last night, but i could have just grabbed her and done it, but i didn't. it's like, " i don't know how" but when you think about it it's easy. you walk up to her grab her face and kiss her.... so why is it so hard?
I've had an easy life, and everything I need ( food shelter clothing and few extras on the side) has been given to me. i feel bad, becuse i WANT to go sort this out, but i always feel like I am a poosy for doing so. like my problems are nothing. it's just me being less of a man or something... i'm not quite sure.
i don't really have anyone i can talk to about this stiff. my folks are kicking off here and i am in the middle, my dad is an alcoholic. my mum just dose most of her things out of spite and is annoying as hell. i really would like to just press ctrl alt del and find the escape key. it's too much for me. everything too much for me it's so pathetic. like i have a good life. i mean everything is handed to me. the ONLY thing i have ever had to work for is my cert 3 in financial services. witch i got! i'm so proud of myself.
I've always been told i am a P.O.S from every one in high school, to my mother on a dial basis. since school was so crazy ( teacher fooking the class over) i haven't had time to think. i'm on 6 week holidays. so straight after the stress of school i found a depression witch i haven't felt since i was 16. it was pretty alarming. i spent a week staying up all night till the dawn and watching skins. ( don't ask me why i don't know why it was skins, though i really felt for the char. in that show)
i think i NEED to go so i can get my head right, it hasn't been right for a long time. i know that, if i'm going to make the lofty goals i have set myself for this year, ( will post them up later in a different thread. ) then i will have to get my mind right so it can focus on the task at hand. not trying to to wort out the mess that's up there.
i just want to be stronger mentally because when i come it comes to **** tests, I'm failing them pretty bad right now. maybe i just need to have 1000 of them so i have the reference exp. but being more mentally sane right now can't hurt.
we was coming home from the casino last night in a taxi, i was next to the girl I've been texting and i pointed to one of the tall bank buildings. i said " i'm going to be working at the top of one of those one day" i smiled when i said it. it made me feel good. just to say it out allowed. i'm smiling right now as i say it.
i know this is one hell of a crazy rant, but my question is do you think it would be worth the money being spent on going to see a psych? I've been to one in school, only because they made me. it wasn't for very long and i hated it. ( the person i saw was Russian and i hated her. ) maybe if i mind the right person it might work out.