Worst story ever. Is it possible to go from introvert to extrovert. I got nothing

[JackFrost01]

Thats it, I've had it. I just went into my place of work feeling pretty confident that I could make something happen with this girl I've been talking to her for awhile. I went in with my best shirt, pants, cologne, etc... She barely even said a thing. "Hi" and "Bye" at best. We talk all the time so I figure hey, she'll jump at me when she sees the nice outfit that shows my new body off nicely. Well of course everything that could go wrong does. I'm a fvck up...a nerd....yes, I just got called a nerd tonight in fact. Right in fvcking front of the HB by another girl. That was it, I knew I lost it right there and then. She doesn't even want anything to do with me. I sit here typing this and you know what? I don't have one good friend to my name. No girlfriends, no nothing.....nobody. I try to hype myself up and be like "this time, it's going to be different!" And what happens in the end? I fvck up, of course. Whats the matter with me? I'm so introverted, I'm such a loner, I have the lowest social energy possible. Even working out 3 times a week for over a year and eating properly, gaining 40lbs of muscle hasn't helped at all). I fvckin hate this, why the hell am I here. I try my best to be a man in the situation, I try hard to not put girls on a pesdestal. The best I can get is a fat fvck. I hate this bull****. I'm average in everyway, except my personality is total utter crap. Yeah, they'll talk to me at work, but would they say hi on the street? No, I can honestly say I think they wouldn't. I start college next year and I know that I can tell myself this or that, but when it comes down to it, I'm just going to be a big *****. It's like the tenth time I've been lead on, or lead myself on to believe the HB liked me, only to get nothing. It seems right now its like "once an AFC, always an AFC."
And then it's like I just keep replaying the events and every little stupid ass thing I said over and over and over and over. I plan it all out, or even if I don't, I still just end up acting like a fvcking **** head. What the hell???

I hate this world, people are so fake, so decitful, so wrongl.......so evil.

Fvck it. Thats all I can think of. Right now, I don't believe that I can change. There's my family, my co-workers, I see them everyday, I'm just Jack to them, thats it.

If anyone was a fvck up like me and a huge introvert and somehow changed themselves, I'd like to hear you're story....I don't know....I feel terrible and really mad at myself right now.

Jack

 

[Blue-eyed Devil]

Jack, all I can say is that you're thinking too much. Beating yourself up; what does that accomplish? Give yourself some credit for hitting the gym, trying to improve yourself both mentally and physically. Who the hell cares what one or two girls think? If you think they're right, then you're screwed. If you don't believe in yourself, who else will?

-devil

 

[cactus3178]

What's making you an introvert? Are you the 'loner' type, not wanting to hang out in social settings? You mentioned that you don't have any friends, why?




"It seems right now its like "once an AFC, always an AFC."

Bullsh*t. Anybody can change. It doesn't happen over night. It sounds like you've been working your ass off on your appearance, but what about your personality?


"And then it's like I just keep replaying the events and every little stupid ass thing I said over and over and over and over. I plan it all out, or even if I don't, I still just end up acting like a fvcking **** head. What the hell???"

Don't replay things over and over....it's self destructive. Instead, concentrate on what you did wrong, and don't repeat it. Don't concentrate too hard on planning things. When it comes to pulling the ladies, you have to be able to change things up on the fly because there are unlimited circumstances that could change the direction of things in a second.


"I hate this world, people are so fake, so decitful, so wrongl.......so evil. "

Not everyone is like this. If your starting college in a place away from your current digs, it may be the best thing for you. Sometimes getting away from the bullsh*t and starting fresh in a new place is just what you need.

 

[AFK Protector]

I was....a nerd before. I don't know how it happened...but people were always nice to me.

Maybe it was for the help I dished out unconditionally. Like a doormat. I'd cut time out of my life to serve others...they'd only talk to me at school...only when they needed to. I felt used.

Then I found this site, and gradually, through working out and mainly developing a new mindset, I've turned things around quite a bit.

It can be done, but its different for everyone. If you keep on trying, you'll reach your goal. Who cares about that chick? If she doesn't respect you, then she doesn't deserve you. Move on and treat it as them missing out on you, rather than vice versa.

 

[Skweints]

First, read my post I just made not too long ago. The title is "DJ'ing requires a personality (and humor!)" Second, if you're old enough, go to a bar. Spark up a conversation with the bartender, bartenders are the easiest people to talk to. They are VERY observant, as well, and know a whole lot the drunks that drink there wouldn't notice if it hit 'em in the face. If you're not of age, which I'm assuming your not, since you start college next year, don't worry about it. You're still in high school, and the age group you are in still has the "clique" structure. Unfortunatly, if you don't get into the good group right away, you're dog meat until graduation. So, don't be so hard on yourself! Thing will change. These girls are gonna be crushed when they graduate, and they realize the friends they had for the past 13 years are no longer gonna be right by their side. Second, congradulations on keeping up on the working out. I have yet to even do that myself. :-\ (Don't get me wrong, I ain't no lard ass.) Third, those girls you're trying to hook up with are just as young as you. Remember how they say woman mature faster? It's totally untrue. Male and females mature at almost the exact same rate. Don't let females fool you, they're just trying to make themselves look better than you. (Then again, they always do, right? That's part of the game.) They're just immature and REALLY don't know what they want.

 

[WestCoaster]

Remember ...

... you're a DJ, YOU'RE the catch, not the women. Screw your past, what you think you were. You're on this site so you're either a DJ or DJ in training. AFCism is gonna be a distant memory.

Hate to sound like a big re-run here, but read the DJ Bible, as much of it as you can. Read the articles and Hall of Fame posts from the main page, they're mind altering.

If you're looking to women for approval you're looking at the wrong species. Approval should come from within, not the appreciation or rejection from women, who frankly snap-judge people, gravitate towards sh-t bags, and wouldn't know a good guy from a bad guy (see U.S. divorce rate for more info).

You don't need approval from anyone but yourself and you don't need to ask permission from anyone but yourself.

OK, it's easy to slip into AFCism, I do it now and then. De-programming our vast AFC culture is tough. In one instance where I was semi-AFCing around this woman I told myself (after reading this site one day), "Wait a sec, she should be da-n glad I even looked in her direction, not the other way around."

That attitude worked wonders.

Remember, YOU'RE the catch, the so-called HBs you're chasing? They're just gonna marry a dirtball and get fat down the road anyway. They should be lucky you're looking in their direction!

 

[So Many Ways]

Whatever you do, don't let a couple of women who make negative comments about you destroy your self esteem. If you do, you'll spiral into a negative pattern that is very difficult to dig yourself out of. Don't let them define who you are, only you can define your reality.

How old are you, are you in high school still? You sound young so you have plenty of time and will have plenty of opportunites to improve your social skills. You mentioned that you're going to college, which will provide a wealth of opportunities for you to become comfortable around new people. Take advantage of those opportunities when they present themselves.

As far as changing yourself from an introvert to an extrovert, consider this. An introvert is simply a personality type defined by a person who gets his energy from solitude. An introvert needs time to himself to recharge. I'm an introvert myself and although I desire social interaction with my friends, there are times when I need to be left alone, just to collect my thoughts and to unwind. There is nothing wrong with that. You'll just have to learn to be comfortable around people and talking to people, and yes it will be difficult and will take some time, but it can be done. Just make small steps until you become more comfortable. Also, have patience.

Also, if you play it the right way, you can present yourself as "mysterious", which women love.

 

[Nice_no_more]

Hey, cheer up.
you really need to make women a lot less important in your life. Because they're the center of your world, if something goes wrong with them, you feel bad about everything else. You need to get some passions in your life besides women. If you're just working out to please women, STOP. Do it for yourself and because you like being healthy and fit.

The fact that the ho called you a nerd just shows that she's an insecure little brat who probably gets off on that sort of thing. You need to tell her to **** off next time.

 

[coldcoal]

What's up, Jack. All this bitter sh*t has got you closer than you think. E-mail me your photo and tell me all about the BS. Pour it on thick, brother. I'll get back to ya. Can't do it thread-like.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by JackFrost01
If anyone was a fvck up like me and a huge introvert and somehow changed themselves, I'd like to hear you're story

This is something I've wondered about too, are there actually any success stories on this forum?

 

[Omega]

It's all in your head. You blow, you go. Cycle continues until you change it.

 

[OldNumb3r7]

40lbs of muscle dude?

I know what it takes to put on good weight. To be dedicated. It aint easy. I dont know how many people I know that always talk about lifting with me and wanting to hit the gym, but never show up. All excuses.

If anything know you have it in you to change for the better. Know you have the mind set to make anything work for you. You have the power and strenght man. Dont let some woman bring you down from what youve accomplished thus far.

hit me on AIM if you want same SN as on here......peace man. Youve done great.

 

[david90]

a true dj see set backs as a temporary thing.

 

[peter_g]

Sorry to say it

Dude, sorry to tell you, but this whole site is based on a bunch of guys who think way to positive, no matter how ****y your smirk is, or how you dress or how much cologne you use, or how funny you try to be, people are labled early in life and that label sticks with you through out your whole life.

That is not to say you cannot get a girl, but it will be hard to do.

 

[Seeph]

Stop for a minute Jack, you spent a year working out and eating right and now have 40lbs of muscle.. thats f*cking great, now take that same dedication and drive and use it on your personality. I was once a huge introvert, now I'm an extrovert.. All the way through highschool I was an introvert, when I got to college I became more outgoing. Over the summer b4 my first year at college I did a lot of thinking about myself.. You have to realize that only you can change the way you are. When the girl called you a nerd you should have called her a trick or just looked at her for a second, and then looked away and just acted like you didnt hear a thing. What you need to do is read the bible very well and search this forum for topics such as auras, inner state, confidence, energy Your problem is that you have low self confidence. You CAN fix it, all it takes is time and some thinking.. you gotta realize that people who dont like you or make fun of you really dont matter in your life, you dont ever have to see them or hang out with them again if you dont want to. Now sometimes in HS its more difficult, but just think, your going to be in college soon, most of those people from HS you will never see again.., and in college things are different. So just know that these people now are ****, you have a new beginning coming up when you start college, you will have thousands of new people at your finger tips waiting to be YOUR friend. Just gotta have the attitude of your the ****, you know your the ****, people who dont are ****.

Best of luck bro.

And to peterg, that is the biggest load of sh*t ive ever heard. I used to have trouble getting girls, I looked good, but my personality was ****. I didn't go out as much as others in HS or have any real friends.. just a few acquaintences, that was 5 years ago, now I have to take my phone off the hook when I'm with a girl so that people can't call me. So take your negative attitude and shove it. Of course people here have positive attitudes... do you really think that a girl would rather be with a guy who thinks everything is sh*t then one who looks at almost everything positively? Grow up peter.

 

[OddTech]

Re: Sorry to say it

Originally posted by peter_g
Dude, sorry to tell you, but this whole site is based on a bunch of guys who think way to positive, no matter how ****y your smirk is, or how you dress or how much cologne you use, or how funny you try to be, people are labled early in life and that label sticks with you through out your whole life.

That is not to say you cannot get a girl, but it will be hard to do.

Absolutely not true. Pook for one (if you look at his older posts) was a self-proclaimed nerd. I wouldn't call him that now.

There are guys here who are probably overly-optimistic, okay. But you can't be too critical. If you think you can change your life... then you will. Those people who gets labeled and embrace it their whole life have no self confidence. They hold onto the label because it is familiar, like an old habit. Besides, it's just a label by others... who cares? You just need know who YOU are.

And speaking of optimism, you'll start college soon. It'll get better.

 

[JackFrost01]

Wow, thanks to everyone who gave me positive advice. I just got up and read this post, amazing! This is going to probably be the hardest thing in my life to change, but I'm going to start working on it right now. I think I will do some reading and then hopefully try some stuff out in the real world. You're right Seeph, if I put as much time and energy into changing my personality as I have my external appearence, I should do fine.
This will be tough, but I guess it's time to start doing some approaches and work on my skills before school starts.


Thanks to everyone who gave advice and helped think a bit clearer now.

P.S. What should I base my happiness on? If not girls, friends, family is even negative many times. I guess it's only me.


Jack

 

[MackJr]

You can't change from introvert to extrovert. That's present by 1 year of age, if not sooner.

However, being introverted or extroverted isn't as closely related to Macking as you think.

extroverts without DJ skills are like bulls in china shops. they run around annoying women and don't get that far.

introverts without DJ skills obviously get too shy to approach women or they waddle in their self-pity as you've just done.

A DJ is both confident and finessed. A DJ would have been called a nerd, then, without emotion, he'd just turn to the evil woman and say in a level James Bond tone, "You wish".

It takes a while to get there, so read the DJ bible and work on small skills like eye contact, 'hi', and posture for a while, then try introductions with no intent to get laid, just being able to hold a mild conversation. Then finally you can go after the pu$$y. But not before. A journey of 1000 miles begins with but a single step --confucious.

 

[Beatflux]

You can turn your life around

You are focusing on what you do not want. If you have been getting the results for some time I can safely conclude that you are focusing on what you do not want. You are creating pictures in your mind of what you do not want. You are creating internal dialog which supports what you do not want. This is happening unconcsiously and automatically. You can change this. Read this article and you will know what you are doing wrong. You can turn this around.

 

[AFCinBC]

My Advice -
Stop trying to figure out whats wrong and find out whats right.
**** Introvert and Extrovert they are WORDS, and they describe set examples of actions or ideals/values not how you are all the time.
When I get called a nerd, cause I am.. I build my own computers ect. I say Damn Right. You'd be LUCKY to have somone with my brains theres a 1000 tom cruises out there but not many brad pitts with a Ph.D.
This is what we call a Negative Self Image Stop that **** just Wipe the TEARS from your eyes, Grow the **** up, and be A Man.
P.S.
I'm not being a **** I'm being straight forward I want that to be clear.
READ THE DJ BIBLE!!!!!!