worst experience with approaching girl i have yet

[Bingo-Player]

I have done probably 200 cold approaches this year across a lot of different environments but a lot of them have been in my gym

If there Is one thing I have learnt

You MUST disarm her first , women although most do generally accept they are going to be approached

they are are on high alert for " creeps " and unfortunately for men a "creep" is any guy that doesn't have the confidence to hold a serious conversation with her

Look it takes A LOT of skill too pull of the " I thought you were attractive line " from cold and 9/10 it just isn't going to work , there's nowhere for the conversation to go she knows it you know it we all fvcking know it

literally the only time that wil work is if she sees you as equally as attractive

You are better off being subtle and approaching with some type of credible question it doesn't always have to be perfect if she likes you she will just go with it

I started a new gym in the summer I spotted this ridiculously hot chick we made a little eye contact couple of half smiles this went on for weeks

It took me ages to try and find a way to open her eventually I spotted she had something in her drink shaker , and that was my in I just asked if it was.a pre workout and from there the conversation just flowed and we exchanged details

 

[bat soup]

i approached a girl today in situational way but she could see through my lies.. she was like "you didn't approach me for that. tell me why you approached me" i started getting nervous because she was behaving rude so i was like "i wanted to talk to you" but then she was like "why do you wanna talk to me" in a rude way.. she was not even letting me leave when i wanted to leave as she was forcing me to tell her why i wanted to talk to her and she was not buying my bs. i felt like if i told her that i liked her then it would have created a bigger scene in public area

At any time you can just turn your back on a woman and walk away. You don't owe her your attention.

 

[bat soup]

Look. Outside a metro a girl in blue was hanging out that I've never met before, idling, playing with her phone. I walked up and said one greeting phrase and she angrily yelled "Get away from me! I'll call the cops.

Same thing happened to me. To be fair, I probably should have taken off my scream mask.

 

[Slowhandluke]

i approached a girl today in situational way but she could see through my lies.. she was like "you didn't approach me for that. tell me why you approached me" i started getting nervous because she was behaving rude so i was like "i wanted to talk to you" but then she was like "why do you wanna talk to me" in a rude way.. she was not even letting me leave when i wanted to leave as she was forcing me to tell her why i wanted to talk to her and she was not buying my bs. i felt like if i told her that i liked her then it would have created a bigger scene in public area

This is what I would have said:

"I approached you because I was bored, and you seemed bored too. Sorry, I didn't notice you were busy".

And then I would walk away. Usually, girls know by default guys talk to girls because the guy finds the girl attractive. No real need to say this unless, the girl is average and she fits your version of attractiveness. In which case, she will probably appreciate the complement. "I approached you because I was bored and you seem attractive...".


Girls who are rude... well, they just aren't worth it. There are so many women out there. Rude people can just stand by themselves and sulk, I'll just talk to other people. Remember. Having a great personality is everlasting, but looks fade. Sooner or later, these rude women will no longer be pursued by guys. Karma, I guess.

.

 

[sangheilios]

My god this is an idiotic thread.

Maybe she is just a rude and disrespectful person in general, aka a *****? Maybe she just wasn't in the mood to talk to some random stranger that is trying to approach her? Maybe her mom just died or she lost her job?

Some of you guys trying to psychoanalyze every little detail about these stories you read on here are weird.

@Pro Gamer

BY cold approaching random women you are going to have a much higher chance of having potentially bad interactions. A lot of women in general have their guards up in public against complete strangers, especially men that they know NOTHING about. We live in a culture where interacting with strangers in public is not considered the norm. Women will also have their guard, ***** shield or whatever you want to call it in order to protect themselves from unwanted male attention. I'm not saying this is what you are, but they'd have to be mindful of men that are potentially weird/pyscho. Maybe she rejects a guy that approached her at the mall and he takes it personally and verbally or worse physically lashes out? Maybe a guy is overly persistent and won't take no for an answer? Maybe he decides to follow her and find out where she lives and works? You get the idea, these are probably thoughts that they are experiencing when a man approaches them that they do NOT know.

 

[Pro Gamer]

My god this is an idiotic thread.

Maybe she is just a rude and disrespectful person in general, aka a *****? Maybe she just wasn't in the mood to talk to some random stranger that is trying to approach her? Maybe her mom just died or she lost her job?

Some of you guys trying to psychoanalyze every little detail about these stories you read on here are weird.

@Pro Gamer

BY cold approaching random women you are going to have a much higher chance of having potentially bad interactions. A lot of women in general have their guards up in public against complete strangers, especially men that they know NOTHING about. We live in a culture where interacting with strangers in public is not considered the norm. Women will also have their guard, ***** shield or whatever you want to call it in order to protect themselves from unwanted male attention. I'm not saying this is what you are, but they'd have to be mindful of men that are potentially weird/pyscho. Maybe she rejects a guy that approached her at the mall and he takes it personally and verbally or worse physically lashes out? Maybe a guy is overly persistent and won't take no for an answer? Maybe he decides to follow her and find out where she lives and works? You get the idea, these are probably thoughts that they are experiencing when a man approaches them that they do NOT know.

what you said makes more sense in terms of real life situation than what others have said here

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Likely means she wasn't interested.

Why? Who knows. Not even worth worrying about. IMO randomly approaching women is mostly a waste of time and resources unless you are doing it in the course of your normal daily activity and has a very very low success rate.

 

[Cowboy-Cheems]

OP, you cant win them all. Be proud you tried. In the modern age, cold approaches are a difficult way of getting women in your life. Most cold approaches end in failure, but not all. It is best just to be direct about your intent. Cheesy excuses and asking directions for something is cliche and obvious.

The only times I really attempt cold approaches outside of night life is when the woman has a "conversation starting" device. For example, when a woman has a Zelda hoodie on, I make a comment on it and start a conversation about Zelda. If she is available and you prove entertaining enough, she will gladly hand over her contact info. A lot of things can be turned into a conversation device if you are creative enough, though it has to appear as a genuine interest and not just a instrument for talking to her, or she will automatically mentally label you as a wannabe pickup artist.

Also, be considerate and use your common sense. If she is trying to get away after your first comment, It is best to just say "Have a nice day." and leave her.

 

[TheGrindEqualsHappiness]

Keyboard jockeys opinion for OP:

I would suggest pounding this approach concern with ten ton hammer of growth mindset.

Reframe it altogether:
Your aim isn't to rail this chick. You actually shouldn't care less.
You aim is to gain experience points to increase your PUA-skill-level. Ever played D&D or any RPG? Yeah your job is to max your character. And in this case the character is you.
Getting laid is just fortunate consequence if it happens.

After you think this one trough you will have ready answer for if the chick blows your indirect opening.

Something like this:
Oooh, your feisty!(oldie&godie)
Then make up something crazy:
And you actually sensed that I'm actually recruiting for my travelling circus I already have dancing monkeys, clown, bearded lady and I only needed one Feisty Girl! You can be the missus feisty!
Then put frame:
Nah, you just looked funny and I wanted to see if you the kind of person that I would like to know better.
..then off to next routine you go..


And btw unlike in RPG:s these people skills and social confidence that you learn will be really useful in other parts of you life also. Like in career.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I talk with anyone of any race, gender, or age without them making a big deal of it. People are rarely, if ever, rude to me.

In your situation, most likely would've rebutted that she doesn't need to be so defensive because I'm not 'hitting on her' and she has to get over herself.

If she's suspicious about your intention, just exaggerate: "Keep it down, I'm an International Man of Mystery and I'd like to stay mysterious a little longer."

Work on your wit and don't be so intimidated by girls calling you out.

also, don't give off the rape-y, vibe....

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

also, don't give off the rape-y, vibe....

Yeah, that might help too. (I just didn't think of including that advice, thought it was kinda self-evident.)