Worst Advice You've Ever Received

[daddymonsterpoodle]

"live each day as if it was your last"

On my last day on earth I am not going to worry about getting to work on time, paying bills and all that tedious sh-t. Screw that. I am gonna f-ck my girlfriend and pay a hooker to come and swallow man juice all day while I drink single malt and listen to hardcore.

"good things come to those who wait" see also "karma".
Nope. God things come to those who work for them and have the courage to take risks.

"save your money"
Ha! Bank accounts don't even keep up with inflation rates.

"women love poetry"
Really! My experience is writing poetry for women makes you look like a try hard emo. What women like is a confident masculine male who will f-ck their brains out.

"women love flowers"
Once, maybe at best. After that it just makes you look as if you have no imagination.

"you should take her to the movies"
The advice that every parent gives teenage sons. Nope, movie dates are just awkward and bad.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

"It does not matter what people think of you, as long as you are happy" by a parent

Yer right, not only is this statement very self-centered and selfish it is also wrong, to get ahead in any field of life the opinion of your peers matters a great deal.

Take a co-worker of mine, she is extremly happy in her self, smug even. She is also obese, lazy, useless at her job and annoys the hell out of everyone around her, but what the hell as long as she is happy.. subjective satisfaction without objective evidence is a fools paradise.

Also it ignores the real and very valuable way to shape others views of you, according to how you want them to be shaped.

At the same time, you have to be very careful not to be a people please. You'll get walked all over and be a dog chasing his tail.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

"be a gentleman. Women will respect you. "

Lol..

 

[Dingo]

Anything anybody told me about how wonderful it was being married.....

It's a Trap !

 

[Huffman]

Why did I know, before reading this thread, that the very first post about bad advice would come from Mom?

Although I find it a bit disturbing that your mom would talk about money instead of feelings. Mine told me to always be emotional, because girls would love that... yours told you to get yourself a gold digger.

 

[Huffman]

"be a gentleman. Women will respect you. "

Lol..

Let me guess, mom as well.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Dad as well actually... Says a lot.

 

[jimjam]

Have something to fall back on....

This kind of thinking impedes you from dedicating 200% of yourself to your life's passion

 

[wolf]

"You should totally turn up unannounced at that girls house that you kissed that one time. She will love the surprise!"

Almost got myself a restraining order lol. Oh to be 14 again...

 

[Mike32ct]

11. "Text her after the first date to tell her that you had a nice time."

I never got a second date when I did this.

12. "8MB of RAM is more than anyone will ever need."

That's what the guy at the electronics store told me in 1994 when I bought a computer.

13. "Your car insurance goes down after you turn 25."

I'm 40 with no accidents and still pay through the azz.

14. "She likes you. She's just playing hard to get."

She's not interested.

15. "She doesn't know what she wants."

It's clear what she doesn't want.

16. "Don't eat before coming to this party/dinner at our house. We're gonna have tons of food."

You'll arrive starving and nothing will be ready for at least two hours. Everybody else will be too drunk to notice or care. ALWAYS eat before going to a party or dinner at somebody's house.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

High School Football Coach, "Hey Dust 2 Dust do you want to play football? We need more players. You don't need to be any good."

Reality: We're looking for tackling dummies for our starters to run over.

Ex-girlfriend, "You should buy this house because it has a huge pool in the backyard."

Reality: You will be out there every weekend cleaning and balancing out chemicals. If a part breaks you will spend a small fortune getting it fixed. It will be a hole that you endlessly throw money into.

My Mom, "Beauty is only skin deep"

Reality : Ugly is to the bone.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Come on this double date. It will be fun.

Pull my finger

Scull this gin. itll be awesome.

Have some of my ouzo. You'll like it.

 

[ubercat]

I agree with Dust muffin that you can't oddjob your way into *****. But once you're tapping it on the regular I've never worked out how to avoid the boyfriend tax. On the plus side I've learnt a lot about fixing houses

 

[SteR]

My Mom, "Beauty is only skin deep"

Reality : Ugly is to the bone.

Haha it's funny how this one is usually only heard from 40+ women. You never hear any men saying it...

 

[Mike32ct]

Ex-girlfriend, "You should buy this house because it has a huge pool in the backyard."

Reality: You will be out there every weekend cleaning and balancing out chemicals. If a part breaks you will spend a small fortune getting it fixed. It will be a hole that you endlessly throw money into.

^This. Pools are a full-time job and a big expense. Can't agree more

 

[Champ Slice]

If its meant to be she'll come back to you.

Lmfao!

 

[Bokanovsky]

No advice that was necessarily given to me personally, but bad advice that is often given in general:

1. Just be yourself (i.e. do not pursue self-improvement)
2. Good things come to those who wait

 

[Bible_Belt]

Here's my pep talk from my trainer right before my first fight:

You're going to get knocked the fvck out! You'll be laying there twitching. You're going to be an embarrassment to me, you, and everyone else in the goddamn building.

Talk about taking the wind out of your sails. I looked terrified every time the other guy took a swing at me. Afterward, when the last bell rang, my gf heard my trainer say to his wife: Well, he did better than I thought he'd do. I thought he'd get knocked the fvck out.

 

[Milano]

Agreed. "Be yourself". To an inexperienced young man this obviously does not work.

 

[Once Bitten]

"Just be a nice boy and everything will be fine". Courtesy of my mother.