worryin' about being cheated on

[Jay-X]

i've been in a ltr with a nice girl for six months now. now, on saturday evening she stays with me and my friends, so she knows them quite well. they all are in the same school (my friends and my girlfriend), while i'm in another one.
i've found out that 2 of them have taken her number from my mobile, and sometimes they message her. i'm really afraid that they are tryin to hit on her and i don't know what to do about it.

she doesn't like them, but i'm afraid that one of them is going to kiss her and i don't know what would happen if.

any advice?

 

[frivolousz21]

it comes with the age..your 17 or 18 in college?

Im not sure what to tell you..when I was ur age..im only 22 now..and I told her to stop..I was controlling...but thats bull****.


we ALL KNOW ONLY MASSIVE AFC'S ACTUALLY BECOME FRIENDS WITH SOME DUDES GIRLFRIEND.

which means they are either that..or they want her....its ur call.

id say something to her like why do you need them to message you.


your young too...I know 18 and 22 arent much different but it changes fast..in a few years most of that trust **** will be easier.

 

[sfalexi]

Yeah. Ask your friends why the **** they're messaging your woman. Then get new friends.

And have faith in her. That's all you can do in ANY relationship. YOu can't keep an eye on her 24/7 no matter what.

 

[Jay-X]

thanks to the both of you for the advice... i know that it's really AFC what they are doing... i'm not lookin' forward to control her, she even says that it looks like i don't care for her, since i don't call her for 3 or 4 days in a row (which is not much, imo)...

i'm not afraid to lose her, i'm afraid to lose my friends... it's not that easy to do other friends... i mean i know other people but these guys are really funny to be with and i'd like to keep goin' out with them, so i can't ditch them... that's the problem

 

[sfalexi]

If they ARE going after a girl that you're dating, you shouldn't be worried about losing them. It's a bastard thing to do. NONE of my friends would ever DREAM about going after some girl I'm with. And vice-versa.

You say it's hard to find friends, but in all actuality, it's not that hard. You're young, you'll make plenty more as time goes by. And find out what the hell is going on with these guys. It's wrong enough for some guy to be going after a girl when she has a boyfriend, let alone that guy be a "friend" of his.

Alexi

 

[frivolousz21]

its called repsect..and its something we try to use to keep safety and order in the world...and as you get older you will see how important honor and repsect are.

its a code to live by and your boys arent doing it. Weather they are fun or not thats just wrong.

 

[Jay-X]

i know but i know them since i moved to this city (i was 14) and i was a great chump (not that much afc, but quite nerdish) and to change a 4 years old opinion is quite hard. do u have an idea about how to prevent this situation (since i'm not even sure they are hittin' on her, just a thought)? i've just found out my brother invited them both to my house for this evening...

 

[NewMan]

Frist - how do you know they took her number from your cell?

If that is the case - ask them straight up why they went into your cell phone.

Then let them know that going through your phone number is not something you will put up with.

Also ask them why do they need your GF's number.

New friends are easy to come by.

Don't shy away from confruntation. Odds are, if you confrunt them about this, let them know that it is unexcecptable to you, they will probably relaise what they have done. They will also respect you more in the future.

 

[Jay-X]

thanks newman, i think i'm going to confront them as soon as i have the occasion. anyway, this is what happened:

(let's call my friends A and B)

friend A wanted to make fun of me (in a friendly way) by pretendin' to be my girlfriend's ex and make me jealous, so he asked my brother for my girlfriend's number. my brother (they are close friends) gave him, because he also wanted to make fun.
my girlfriend, as soon as she found out, told me about this and my brother and friend B (who wanted to partecipate to the joke) amitted. i laughed about it, not givin a sh1t, since it was just a joke. during christmas holiday, my girlfriend told me friend A had started to message her constantly and she answered not to be ineducated. she likes him as a friend, although she thinks he's too pushy (he messaged her really often). then, i found out that during my absence (i wasn't in town), friend B got her number by friend A and asked her to come with him and some mutual friends to a party. of course she denied and told me when i came back.
my fears went away, until today, when i found out that during break, at school, she usually spends her time with A, B and some other friends of mine.

am i worring too much? this site has teached me not to trust girls and unfortunately i can't ever forget this...

 

[frivolousz21]

where are her Female friends?

 

[Jay-X]

i know them just a few and they all are either engaged or ugly as hell

 

[Wen]

Don't worried about your gf that much, I mean she is honest and told you everything what your "friends" did without you asking her, right? also this is not her fault, it is your "friends" fault.

If I were you, I'd worried about your so called "friend".

if she really think that your "friend" are bothering her, then ask her to change her cell phone number, just block it from her phone, or just don't answer it.


my recommendation, talk to your friends about it saiding that you don't like them bothering her.

if they are real friends, they would back off, if not dump their ass.

am i worring too much? this site has teached me not to trust girls and unfortunately i can't ever forget this...

they also didn't tell you that some GIRLS you could TRUST, while some GUYS you CAN NOT trust....

 

[Jay-X]

she's not really bothered and i know she wouldn't ever cheat on me... the problem is if they try to kiss her... if it happens, i'm never gonna stay friends with them... and i don't wanna lose them, 'cuz besides being AFCs, they are really funny to be with and we are pretty close... i just want to prevent our friendship to end...

 

[NewMan]

I say this again.

Confrontation is not easy but it is neccessary to draw the line and prevent this kind of thing happening.

Why would they want to pretend to be her ex anyway? Sounds fishy to me. Like an excuse to get her number.

If they are in the same school it's understandable that they hang out with her - and you are lucky that your GF is open and honest about it with you.

The minute it get's uncomfortable or they try something - ex that friendship.

You could try this:

You: "What the deal with you and my GF?"
Friend: "What? nothing"
You: "because she told me that your texting her like all the time... seem's a little weird don't you think"

That way it's not a big confruntation. You give him a way out. And now he knows that you know everything that's going on.

 

[Jay-X]

thank u very much, newman, u r absolutely right, i'm doin' it as soon as possible!

 

[Wen]

yeah NewMan is right, listen to him because you do not want those guys go out of control!!

also, how do you know that one of them will try to kiss her? did she told you? if so, then your girl is a girl that you could trust....for now.

bros before hoes....but if they don't stay as bros then f*ck them, no matter how cool they are!!!

 

[Jay-X]

i don't know, but between my circle of friends it has already happened 2 times... and once i was the victim and another one the "predator" was friend B...

 

[zerocelcius]

ok write this down...

Let her go. It will be better for you. Since you go to another school and don't see enough end it as friends and keep some benifits than enjoy being young and start dating. Date lots of girls and stay friends with everyone. Because if you don't the worring is going to turn you into a monster and them closer together. It is going to happen eventually anyway with you not in the picture and them so close.

There is no perfect ending but if it is on good terms and you are in control than at least you can live with it.

Just my 2 cents ....

 

[Romeo Sariani]

Jay, sei italiano?

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Romeo Sariani
Jay, sei italiano?

^ Si. I thought that was obvious.