Worried about sex

[Tubbs]

This is a follow up to my 'Sex problems with new girl' post.

Ok so I will be seeing this girl again soon. She will definitely be expecting that we have sex (I certainly am). The trouble is that after the problem last time I am really stressed about it. Now obviously that isn't conducive to being good in bed. Before you say, relax and stop worrying I know that is what I have to do but it isn't very easy.

The main problem is that lately I have been having trouble maintaining a firm erection. I normally get hard enough when I am with a girl but then it seems like I have a narrow window of opportunity to get on with things before it is lost. This puts a lot of pressure on things (and is made much worse by having to take a break and put on a condom).

I ordered some Viagra but after doing some research on the net I am pretty loathe to take it (I don't want to risk a heart attack/stroke because of this!). However I don't know what to do. Whatever you say the amount of attention and stress I am giving this is going to cause problems. The main pressure comes from the fact that I am still in the very early stages of a relationship with this girl. Occasionally the problems would happen with my ex but we could laugh it off then try later and often the sex would be great.

Can I talk to this new girl and just explain things? That things may not be great now but once I am a bit more comfortable then things will get much better? Or will she kick me to the kerb.

Should I just take the Viagra? Will I be risking my life for something so stupid? Thoughts please (and no flaming, it's bad enough as it is. Thanks).

 

[The Bartender]

I've had this problem before and I feel that it is linked to anxiety. It helps to not worry about the situation (I know...this is tough). Meditation helps rid the body of anxiety and if you can implement a certain amount of mental purity (not thinking about sex) while messing around, you'll find yourself in a much better situation.

Also, the thought of being naked and insecure with that thought causes a loss of erection. Solutions could be to run around outside naked one day...extreme, I know, but may help. Face your fears. Just dont go to jail doing it.

 

[dietzcoi]

Try the Viagra, just 1/3 of a tablet. It will work!

You won't be disappointed and you won't die! Your chances of dying in a car crash are 100 times higher!

Of course I do have stock in Pfizer!

Dietzcoi

 

[dietzcoi]

PS the bartender is right about being naked. I used to be shy but now go to nude beaches here in Europe. It is a great feeling and it is great to lose the inhibitions I had drilled into me as a kid.

Dietzcoi

 

[Tubbs]

Ha ha! Don't think the amount I will be using is going to move the stock price........

Hmmmm. I just don't like the idea of taking something which potentially has severe effects (heart attacks, stroke, etc) but on the other hand am pretty damn nervous about not performing (it's just so embarrassing).

Any more thoughts? Should I see what happens the next few times I am with this girl before going for the medication? Do you think women are generally understanding about this sort of thing?

To be honest I had EXACTLY the same problems with my ex girlfriend but after a while things were fine. Maybe I should just wait it out. Then again taking the Viagra and f***ing this girl senseless is also ver appealing.

 

[Alpine]

Tubbs,

I think a lot of guys, more than are prepared to admit have a spell like this, but it usually passes. Whenever I've gone in 'half ****ed' so to speak I realised it's because I felt she was judging my body/potential performance.

Take the pressure off yourself and focus your thoughts on pleasing her. Maybe even decide beforehand that you are going to really get her going in everyway possible WITHOUT USING YOU d1ck.

I tried this and it worked really well, really quickly.

 

[Tubbs]

Alpine,

That is really good advise and will definitely take the pressure off. The only problem is that I know that she is going to expect me to **** her (not unreasonable really).

What am I supposed to say when she asks me why I am not trying to ****? I don't think this would be a problem if she was on the pill or something (although I don't know her sexual history so I guess unprotected sex would be a poor idea) so that we wouldn't have to use condoms. They really suck. I can't feel a damn thing and find it pretty hard to even penetrate because of the extremely poor sensation. Also because my erections are weak and short lived putting on the condom is a death blow. Normally once I am 'in' I am ok and I won't lose an erection but the timeframe between getting an erection and penetration is crucial. I would love to just fool around for a while WITH a full erection and not worry about just sticking it in ASAP. This is why I thought the Viagra might help.

 

[dietzcoi]

JUST FUKKING TRY THE MEDICINE!

You can send me a large reward afterwards.

Dietzcoi

 

[dietzcoi]

P>S> Even if you die you will die with a hard dyck instead of living life with a limp dyck!


Dietzcoi

 

[Alpine]

Yes, condoms don't help you much when you have that problem.

I'm no DJ in fact a AFC still, but one idea might be to use the no d1ck approach as a sort of tease game, like a foreplay thing.

You can touch/kiss her all over, ask her what she wants you to say to her (like reeal dirty) use your finger to lightly touch the places she likes. Then pretend you are going to start doing her when she says, stick it in stick it in. Then tease her more. Use fingers and your tongue.

I'd try and do this a few times and avoid pen. even when you get a stiffy. If she's getting pleasure and she's not a complete b1tch you are ok. I accept though that some women will expect a big fat shafting.

Call me paranoid but I would never have sex without a condom until I was in a steady relationship.

 

[Alpine]

Yes, condoms don't help you much when you have that problem.

I'm no DJ in fact a AFC still, but one idea might be to use the no d1ck approach as a sort of tease game, like a foreplay thing.

You can touch/kiss her alover, ask her what l she wants you to say to her (like reeal dirty) use your finger to lightly touch the pla
ces she likes. Then pretend you are going to start doing her when she says, stick it in stick it in. Then tease her more. Use fingers and your tongue.

I'd try and do this a few times and avoid pen. even when you get a stiffy. If she's getting pleasure and she's not a complete b1tch you are ok. I accept though that some women will expect a big fat shafting.

Call me paranoid but I would never have sex without a condom until I was in a steady relationship.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by Tubbs
...What am I supposed to say when she asks me why I am not trying to ****?

...Normally once I am 'in' I am ok and I won't lose an erection but the timeframe between getting an erection and penetration is crucial. I would love to just fool around for a while WITH a full erection and not worry about just sticking it in ASAP. This is why I thought the Viagra might help.

what about getting a better looking girl?

Seriously though, don't worry about getting an erection... once you engage in foreplay and she becomes aroused and you start to admire your handywork (pun intended) you will most likely become aroused also. If not, take her hand and place it around your penis, she'll know what to do.

While she is squeezing and stroking you, your hands are now free to fumble... err... prepare the condom. Once the condom and your erection are ready, position her on all fours with you kneeling behind her... this way both your hands are free to slip on the condom and aid in the insertion. Once inside you can achieve full wood and switch to the position of your/her choice.

 

[seabreeze]

I agree with all of the guys wholeheartedly. They are giving you damn good advice! I think if you just think about giving her pleasure through oral, take your time with that and just think about making her feel good her pleasure will definitely turn you on. I've had the coming before penetration thing happen to me with each guy I've been with and it has NEVER turned me off to them. I didn't even think twice about it. That lack of erection thing might worry her, but more than likely she'll just think you aren't attracted to her. Just explain it to her (that you don't like condoms) and she'll be fine about it. Hint: explain it in a sexy way that makes her feel special (wink). Something like "there's nothing like the naked feel of a wet vagina. it feels so good, I HATE condoms!" Something like that. She'll probably blush and find you very charming and cute (I would). Tell her how sexy she is and how badly you want to have sex with her. This will make her more gracious with you and also turn you on more. French kiss, suck on her nipples, let her suck on yours, give each other massages, let your tongues explore each others bodies (anal area, inner thighs, etc.). You might also want to tell her to gently grab or massage the area right under your testicles, I think the perineum area. This usually gets ANY guy erect (at least the guys I've been with). I'm sure if you do all of that you will probably be more than ready when it's time to penetrate.

Anyway, I'm sure if you give her some good ****oral orgasms through oral, she'll be more than grateful and patient with your penis.
Good Luck and just try to relax.
Seabreeze

 

[Tubbs]

I think that's very good advice. When it comes down to it my biggest worry is that I HAVE to drill her hard and good the next time I'm with her otherwise she will lose all interest. I'm sure it will be fine as long as I can relax a bit (am deeply stressed at the moment about th whole thing). Next time I'm with her I will talk to her about her going on the pill (and probably both of us getting tested).

I think I have decided not to take the Viagra. Even if it's only a very small risk I would just be worried that I was going to get a heart attack or something and the stress of that is even worse than the stress of not performing.

 

[seabreeze]

Tubbs,

Sweetheart, if she dumps you because you don't give her a good drilling next time than she's NOT worth your time. I don't care how hot she is. Damn! Any woman worth your time would be patient and find you sexy for many other reasons besides your ability to "drill her."

Yes, I forgot to mention before that I DO NOT think you should use Viagra. You are too damn young for that s--t. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU OR YOUR PENIS. Go have fun young man! Get tested and ask her to go on the pill, that's the best way to handle this for long term results.
SB

 

[Tubbs]

Ok, thanks guys (and seabreeze). I think it's going to be fine. Had worked myself up into a state about this and was becoming pretty damn worried, but I think it will be fine. Everything is working absolutely fine so the only problem is psychological. If stuff doesn't work out next time or the time after that then it will work out pretty damn soon and when it does it will be great.

No Viagra for me, it really was a desperate measure and I don't need it. Relax and enjoy, that's the key.

 

[MrBond_Age]

I do not think it would be wise for you to lick her puzz unless its a major turn on for you. Since it has a very unique taste that you might not like at first, you might completely lose your erection. So I say start by calming down and fucking her.

 

[NewMan]

Here are some things to think about.

Losing erection.

* Eat Bluberries every day. They help maintain good wood. Frozen or fresh it matters not. Dump them into a shake - or into yogurt. Avoid drinking the juice though.

* work out.

* relax - cut out the pot and booze if your doing that on a regular basis.

* drink lots of water cut out the coffee and soda.

* clean up your diet.

Condom

* Only an idiot will complain about the condom and "Doesn
t feel good". Cut that sh#t out. Your a DJ not a whinning pvssy. Put the rubber on. It's really very easy. Example. If going down on a chick turns you on, go down on her (she is laying on the bed you are kneeling of the floor) - as you get turned on, keep sucking her Poon then unwrap and put on the condom with your free hands. This way, there is a very quick and easy transition from floor to Pvssy. You'll be in like Flyn.

* The anxiety your feeling is self inflicted. You've got your life ahead of you - don't worry about this sh#t so much. There will be more chicks.


Finally - if your still having problems - give me a call, I'll nail her for you.

 

[MrCode]

Keep in mind that women have anxiety about sex the first few times as well, as I'm sure seabreeze can attest to. They want to please you as well (unless she is a royal b!tch), so just relax, have fun, and don't make it a life or death high pressure situation.

Sex is supposed to fun!

Seriously, it amazes me how many people forget that.

 

[dockta]

Originally posted by NewMan


Finally - if your still having problems - give me a call, I'll nail her for you.

Hahahahahahahah...... Brilliant