PapiChulo said:
Shy women crave attention more than normal women, because they have no balls to act in a way that provokes males to give it to them.This all makes them very hard to read..... She may giggle and blush when talking to you and when you go for a "sure" kill, she just blows you off and gives you an LJBF line. Just ask her out and be done with it. Judge the woman by her actions. Also when she starts playing games right off the bat it is reliable indicator of a lack of genuine interest.
I'll expand a bit on my current experience with two girls who work in my department. One started working there a while after I did and when we were introduced it was a rare occasion when I felt what you'd call a "spark", and it looked like something was going on her her mind as well. It was weird because she wasn't really my type at all nor up to my usual physical standards. I'd get quite a number of interest indicators: she'd often play with her hair when I was around (sometimes start just from hearing my voice before she even saw me), looking at me when she thinks I can't see her doing it, etc.
Problem was when I decided to give it a try one day when we were both working late and asked her to join me for some dinner (probably a bad idea in retrospect, I was still fairly early in my recovery back then). She turned it down right away saying that she had an appointment that night, etc.
From that day on she was blowing hot/cold continuously, doing the thing where she's friends with everyone except me, mixed signals and so on like the OP described. This went on for a few months and while I was focusing my time on other women (preferably outside of work) this got annoying as I was being exposed to it 5 days a week. One week she's happy to see me and the next she acts as if she hates my guts. Sh!t got old.
Along the way a girl I went to school with whom I hadn't seen in a while gets a job at my company, in my department, and becomes fast friends with the first chick. For the most part chick #2 is cool with me and shows some signs of interest but is being a bit shy herself.
During one Girl #1's cold periods we got a new one in our group. Cute nerdy chick, married and with kids so I don't bother to hit on her but we became instant friends. I was even assigned to mentor her while she got up to speed. For the first time I saw the first girl acting obviously jealous after I had only been interacting with the new girl for an hour. After a couple days she starts warming up again in an attempt to steal back some attention.
So come Christmas party and things really come to a head. The first chick is in full avoidance mode yet is spying on me from a distance as I mingle and the second girl is a bit cold herself and not very sociable to me. After this I decided that while at this point I don't really even want her anymore I am sick of this behavior from Girl #1 and am not pleased that Girl #2 is starting it as well. I decided to freeze them both out starting from that point onward.
For weeks after the party I don't talk to them, don't return any smiles or eye contact, leave conversations they may enter if I don't have a business reason to be talking to them, don't bother to hold the door if they're coming in behind me, etc. I'm enough of a prick that they know that I'm displeased with them but not enough to get into any potential trouble.
Girl #2 cracked after 2 weeks and now won't let me walk past her without trying to strike up a conversation. Girl #1 made it for 4 weeks (as of today) before she finally cracked and started trying to be nice to me again. Even still for now I'm only going reward them with kindness and a bit of attention only when they give it first, let's see just how much I can retrain them to be more respectful.
