Women with kids who say "my kid comes first"

[raider87]

This seemingly contradictory paradox may help explain why there are so many hot single mothers out there who are perpetually single despite constantly getting on and off the c0ck carousel

Tremendous post! I used to have a huge crush on a single mother. Thank god I was too afc at the time. Gave me the gift of rejection.

 

[YawataNoKami]

Ahhh ; the "My kids come first" bullsh1t............The most important decision a woman can make is who the father of her children will be and most women completely and utterly fvck that decision up. Don’t tell the everyone the kids are your world then five minutes later talk about how their father can’t come around because he has warrants out for his arrest.


Raising someone else's kids = being a cuckold. Single moms are raising bad kids (look at the statistics, it's not a matter of opinion, or up for discussion) while trying to cuckold every hard working male in the country. Where is the daddy at? Obviously this lady is showing that she makes bad selfish decisions and puts herself above not only you, but her kids who she has been raising badly. You should avoid them.

 

[Reyaj]

OP, I totally agree with you. While I understand that a single parent's primary responsibility will always be her kids, I have no idea why they have the need to point that out to you. It's like me telling a girl, "you know I really care about you but if I had to pick between who would live you or my mother I would pick my mother." I have no idea why the need to point this out, it should go without saying.

This seemingly contradictory paradox may help explain why there are so many hot single mothers out there who are perpetually single despite constantly getting on and off the c0ck carousel.

Great post Bradd! And for the record I'm glad you actually read and are able to interpret my posts maturely unlike others who just read a few sentences and take it out of context to attack me. I'll always ignore those idiots.

I really appreciate your input on your experience and theories with single moms. As you stated:

1. Single moms, as your relationship gets more intense, expect you to treat their kids as your own. Which means taking lots of interest in them, paying for certain things, going on vacation together, and playing with them. In essence, you become an instant dad without the fun getting there.

I haven't gotten to this stage yet with any of them but I can definitely see this. If you have no interest in being a father to someone else's kid, do you think its best to dump them after you banged them enough times?

2. Speaking of the fun getting there, you will never has as much sex with a single mom as the baby's daddy did. That's because now that they're with you, the single mom is so tired from work and raising a kid on her own that - after that initial period where everything is great - her mask will eventually come off and she will be too tired to fvck you all the time like she did at first.

Very interesting... I would not have thought this.

3. Single moms, contrary to my previous beliefs, are actually often even more drama than the hot single women out there. In fact, being a drama queen is most probably one of the major reasons their past relationships with their husbands/baby daddies didn't work out.

I believe it

4. Plus, single moms come with the added baggage of being treated like dirt, cheated on, humiliated, and left alone to raise a child by their previous men. I find single moms have a sense of mistrust and even hatred of men that single women have not yet developed.

Yes... I'll give a quick synopsis of my recent experience with a single mom that fits this to a tee.

5. With single moms, i always saw the same general pattern: in the first few months there was lots of great kinky sex, great dishes of food made for you whenever you want. Lots of low budget date ideas. These things make you think this type of relationship is actually workable, and you generally are tricked into thinking "wow this is a great girl she's so normal. Too bad she has a kid but hey maybe we can work around this." Single moms are usually very open and let you treat their home as if it's yours. But as time goes on, reality sets in: you become an instant dad to a child you did not father. The sex goes away, as the mom develops new interests and the exciting honeymoon phase of your relationship wears off.

I guess its best to dump them once it gets to this point.

6. The coldest dose of reality was that single moms are actually very very high maintenance.. because they have a child everything you do with them comes with added costs. A "single mom tax" if you will. And not just financially.. I have found that hot single moms, rather than appreciating men more, actually increase the demands they make from a potential mate because now they have a child so they have to be even more picky. So despite the fact that they are getting old, are about to hit the wall in terms of having your kids, come with an expensive little addition, and that their overall market value is now extremely low, their demands for what they want in a man actually increase as they get older. Sounds crazy doesn't it? But yet this is exactly what is going on in the mind of a single mother. Expensive dinners will be required, as will expensive travel plans (often with their kid tagging along, although of course never at first ).

So because some other guy got to bust a load in them and no longer deals with the BS day in and day out.. I as a single guy will suffer this tax? LOL no thanks!


So the last experience I had with a single mom was about a few months ago. She basically had a kid with a guy who is a DR but because he was Jewish and she wasn't he couldn't marry her. He now has a new girlfriend and picks up his daughter every once in a while (which she complained about him not spending enough time with her)

So we basically went out for drinks... During the date she actually said she wants guys to make the first move and feels guys get turned off when a girl is too aggressive. I told her I didn't agree yada yada yada..... Anyway she ended up driving me to my place and we made out intensely in her car. I don't think she was DTF.... I didn't invite her up to my place because I didn't want to blow a potential future lay since she lived super close to me. I said "I guess I should go" to which she said "yes" and didn't try to stop me.... Whether I had a chance to bang this girl on the first date is debatable but my gut told me she wasn't going for it. Anyway that's another discussion for when I write out my journal.

Anyway so she texted me like the next day telling me how hot of a kisser I was and all this other bs. Being that I have a regular girl who is younger with no baggage I am seeing - I really didn't pay this single mom a lot of attention... I replied to her texts but I didn't come on too strong or anything.

So anyway she didnt text me at all the next few days... I texted her like mid week asking when we were hanging out next and she didn't respond till way later... Her texts no longer seemed affectionate or timely... I ended up saying I could stop by her place and she was like when... I said tomorrow and I think she responded it was ok. The next day she barely responded to me and then said her kid was sick about 5 hours later. I told her I hoped she felt better... I texted her like the next day and again she was lukewarm and took a while to respond etc.... So I finally I texted her "hope your games work on the next guy, peace" She didn't respond

So like a month later I was drinking and for the hell of it I texted her and asked her what the problem was since we had a good time when we went out etc.... She basically responded back that she is very guarded because of her ex and her child was sick and it was her first priority. I told her I understood that but that it doesn't take much effort to respond to a text message.... Then I ended up telling her I met someone awseome and I wanted to thank her because I wouldn't have appreciated this new girl if not for my experience with her. She tried to save face and wish me luck and that was it lol

So I know I could have played it cooler with this single mom and probably gotten some ass... but I have to admit I didn't feel this girl was worth my time or effort since I have someone better.

 

[BeExcellent]

Let's be honest. Some if this is age related. If you are in your teens, 20's or early 30's then I think Bradd80's advice is right on. There is no reason to get involved with someone else's responsibilities if you are still enjoying the single life. You are highly likely to eventually find yourself disappointed with the fact that the hot single mom has other responsibilities. If you want a relationship, get involved with someone else who has the same life phase going on as you do. I'm annoyed by other people's crying babies and bratty small children as much as the next person.

When you are in your late 30's, 40's and early 50's things change. Most singles in my age range have been married already (and if nobody picked them to marry there is probably a good reason why), they have (usually older) children of their own, and ought to have their lives much more together. I don't plan to re-marry because I really like how I have my own life set up. I am financially independent (including I support my ex-husband financially), I co-parent with my ex (the house I gave him is 3 blocks up the street from mine in a nice area), I pay for a nanny when I'm on business and he has to work; private school, braces, music lessons, etc. etc. etc...it is a very stable agreeable mature arrangement. The kids are doing great.

I personally prefer to date men who have their own kids and responsibilities. Otherwise I find them too needy of my time and they won't relate to the whole kid thing. There are plenty of divorced men out there looking for a woman who isn't after their paycheck and who can take care of herself so he doesn't have to. Add to it that I got wonderful genes and keep myself in top shape and life is full of choices.

I can understand the sentiment of "Drama Warning!" "Drama Warning!" from women who have to state the obvious as discussed in this thread. I see the OP's point. It is much like the poster somewhere on this thread that said men want sex. Duh. I just think that things change based on life stage. I could care less how hot he is I am NOT going out or paying any attention to a man in their 20's or 30's (young enough to be my son...ick!) just like you young guys typically wouldn't want to date a woman in her late 40's (old enough to be your Mom...yuck!). I personally always found the "cougar" thing weird. But that's just me.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Reminds me of my afc days when I was dating a single mom. I took her and her kid out on my boat. He was an all right kid, but I was pretty shaken up when I looked over at mom and there was so much hair sticking out the sides of her swimsuit I thought Larry from the 3 Stooges had stowed away up there.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think we need to hook you up with atom smasher. Have you two been introduced yet?

You should send him a PM http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?members/atom-smasher.52647/

Thank you Brad. She is starting to sound rather fetching...

 

[BeExcellent]

Didn't see that coming . Well all I can say to that is that I hadn't thought of SS as an OLD forum Hi Atom Smasher, pleased to meet you. (I'm sure you're nice but this is awkward.)

I actually have several younger sisters. One was a D1 collegiate cheerleader. She's married 20+ years to her college sweetheart. The other two married their high school sweethearts, so everybody's taken, sorry.

I was pretty shaken up when I looked over at mom and there was so much hair sticking out the sides of her swimsuit I thought Larry from the 3 Stooges had stowed away up there.

Yikes. Wax. Tweeze, Trim, something. How could she not know that? Cheers!

 

[BeExcellent]

And about the marriage thing. If I ever were to consider it, I'd require a gnarly pre-nup. But highly unlikely. Certainly not any time in the foreseeable future. You guys are a mess.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Bradd80,

Your description of dating a single mom is so dead on. You accurately described the LTR that I just got out of.

She seemed so amazing and so hot in the beginning. "Can you have possibly found your perfect woman?". Yes, that's exactly how it felt. Yes, she was the hot chick I always wanted to fvck in high school. Absolutely gorgeous face and body, always in heels and short skirts. In the beginning, she wanted to do everything I wanted to do.

By the time she started to change, I was already hooked, physically and emotionally. She was like a drug I could not get enough of. And even though she changed, I kept remembering how amazing it was in the beginning. But those amazing times got fewer and farther between until they were next to nothing. While at the same time, I was giving more and more.

So do yourself a favor guys, if you go there, end it before you get emotionally hooked. End it before Bradd's phase 3.

Awesome post Bradd! I tip my hat to you.

-Augustus-

 

[speed dawg]

So you don't get what being a single parent is like.

That's your problem and no one else's.

Whether they say it or not, it's true. So best you either stay away from single mom's or get over yourself.

^^ This.

I don't advocate dating single moms unless you're man enough to handle doing the f*ck buddy thing, or you are a single dad yourself and know the drill.

 

[logicallefty]

Whenever I am dating a single mom one of the first signs I look for is in regards to consistency of availability. The pattern I have repeatedly seen is where for the first 2,3,4 maybe 5 dates sitters are no an issue, going out on weeknights are not an issue.. Or staying out past 10pm is not a problem.. Whatever.. The kid(s) are taken care of and no issue..... But then the next thing you know she starts using the kid(s) to dictate when you see her. A prime example is that you go out on Thursday night a couple of times. Now all the sudden you want to go out on Thursday night again and she utters "I can't I have to help Susie with her homework" or "I can't go out on weeknights I have to get Johnny to bed by 8:30".. Funny, it wasn't a problem the last 2 Thursdays when things were more new and exciting between us.. But now that you are comfortable and starting your sh|t test routine I have to take a back seat to the kid? I don't think so.. If your kid was priority on Thursday nights, we never should have had any Thursday dates, ever... If Brad Pitt wanted to go out on Thursday, would you tell him the same thing as you told me? Nnnnnnnnext......

 

[pierce_r]

I've nailed a couple of single moms in the past couple of years. The sex was great and the beautiful part of it is that my schedule and lifestyle just made it "too difficult" for them to hang around. Single moms are an easy leave if you have a life of your own. Your schedules don't synch up and then she just never calls again.

No woman should have to tell you that their kids come first. Duh. Of course they do.

If she tells you "my kids come first," right off the bat, then she's looking for someone to hump and dump.

You can see that as a cost or as a benefit; that's on you.

 

[Alvafe]

I'm sure there's tons of threads on here regarding dating women with kids. In my recent POF experiment I noticed this line was prevalent in a lot of these mom's profiles. I've hooked up with some MILFS who said the same thing.

While I objectively understand that a child comes first to a parent, why would a guy want to have a relationship with someone where they won't be first priority in her life?

Just saying every time I read that in turns me off lol

and that is the main reason you don't take a female with childrens, because you are not the priority, and if you are she is not a good mom so not point to stay with her, its a lose/lose situation to date such woman, having fun is all ok, taking then for a LTR is a no-no

 

[grayclif]

If she tells you "my kids come first," right off the bat, then she's looking for someone to hump and dump.

I don't think this is what she is saying at all.

I think she is saying, delusionally of course, if you want her companionship and access to her awesome pvssy you might be able to get it but you will have to do so at her whim.

 

[Solomon]

Dating A Single Mother is like going to a restaurant and eating someone's leftovers and having to pay the bill, thanks but no thanks!

 

[Kailex]

As soon as I hear "single mom", her ceiling becomes "one and done" and her floor is set at "China".

No way I'd ever take one seriously, no matter how hot she is. The hotness in short-term can only do so much over a longer period of time when you have to deal with all of the excess baggage.

 

[Solomon]

As soon as I hear "single mom", her ceiling becomes "one and done" and her floor is set at "China".

No way I'd ever take one seriously, no matter how hot she is. The hotness in short-term can only do so much over a longer period of time when you have to deal with all of the excess baggage.

This guy gets it!!!!

Single mothers are only got for a ******* or two or three

 

[Powersurgeon]

Those b¡tches are to be avoided. Sadly my ex is like that. She is always saying "my kids come first" but her priority is the man in turn. She always make certain that the kids know who is fvcking her.

 

[Paintballguy]

As soon as I hear "single mom", her ceiling becomes "one and done" and her floor is set at "China".

No way I'd ever take one seriously, no matter how hot she is. The hotness in short-term can only do so much over a longer period of time when you have to deal with all of the excess baggage.

I don't think I've even ****ed a single mom. But yeah they are only worth pumping and dumping. I would NEVER date one. I don't get why guys do. Well yeah I do because they are bitches.

 

[Tamura]

My son is top priority over any woman at any time. I'm his father, his mentor, his guide into adulthood. I'm responsible for him getting all it takes to become a good man. It is beyond me, how in this forum everything evolves around f***ing women but at the same time everyone avoids parentship. That's not how evolution works.

Few women tried to compete during the last two years and were out of the game before they could spell out "jealous".

So, my point is: Why should women act differently. I would be highly alarmed if they choose any man before their kids.