A good lover can be hard to find (pun intended). Seriously though few men have any idea what they are doing based on my rather limited experience. My ex husband was/is an amazing lover, something not simple to replace. That was the only thing I was starting to struggle with regarding the lover I had since getting divorced. He didn't know what he was doing either orally or digitally and got a little frustrated if I tried to guide him with what works. He was passionate and a great kisser, but frankly somewhat disappointing in bed because he expected me to work just like his ex-wife. But I don't.
While men are pretty simple (y'all climax when you bust your nut) with stimulation, women are much more complex. Sexuality and climax have to do with intimacy, trust, emotional closeness and bonding in addition to technique. Some women fake to make their partners feel better, others are completely off the rails/out of control. That's where you get crazy sex. Unfortunately crazy sex is often attached to certifiably crazy. Emotionally healthy women are going to take a bit to warm up (the tea kettle is a good analogy) but once you learn how to drive the car, enjoying the performance gets good.
Many women climax more reliably from oral or digital stimulation than from penetration. But women are much more individual than men in this regard. My ex and I used to discuss this quite a bit, he was an experienced man and I found it fascinating since I only know myself.
If you as a man can truly give her a powerful orgasm, she is going to think twice about letting you go. And now you know why I stayed with my ex for so many years.