Women..I swear..are jacked in the head

[steadyguy2000]

Hey guys, long time reader, first time poster, fairly decent DJ here in New York.

Basically, what I'm writing about is an experience I have had recently, and this kind of thing isn't uncommon I know.

I met a woman, 28, through an online dating service, solid 8.5. Blond, great figure. Very good looking woman. We talked over the internet for a while until SHE asked me out for drinks. I obliged. I'm dating 3 other woman as well so I wasn't in any hurry to oneitis over this one.

We meet the other night and immeaditely hit it off. We had great chemistry, both have identical senses of humor, same interests, etc. We sit and talk and drink for 5 hours, having a great time. I was c & f with her, neg hitting, and she would come right back at me-it was great. Both of us flirted with each other to a large degree. We agree that night to meet a few nights later for dinner and pool. By this time it's getting late and it's time to head home, so I invite her over. She comes over, we make out a little, talk some more, and after another 2 hours or so she heads home.

Yesterday we talk briefly over email and I say "I'll give you a call today about the time and place for dinner". So, I call her today, no answer, leave message. Wait 2 hours, nothing. I finally text and ask is she ok.....nothing. Meanwhile I can see she has been on her myspace so I know she isn't dead. What really irks me is even IF she wasn't interested, which is fine (though I have a hard time believing that after meeting the first night) how can someone just make a date, talk like everything is normal, and than just blantantly ignore someone without at least calling to cancel? Blows my mind.

I personally think the woman has some mental instabilities from a few comments she made while talking (maybe bi polar, borderline), but I couldn't say for sure.

What I can say for sure is are people really this weird to do something like this? Has society really accepted this as the norm now?

Opinions?

 

[steadyguy2000]

I agree with you Spermin but at the same time I know she had her phone on her while she was at work, she always does. And we had a date for ohhhh...about right now, and if she did forget her phone or it dropped off of the Grand Canyon, she could have emailed. Put it this way, I would have found away to get a hold of her one way or the other if I wanted/had to cancel.

Just unacceptable behavior in my book.

 

[decades]

That's the quickest push pull on record. just a few hours. gosh you have a real winner here. you know enough about her in a few hours to believe she is BPD. Guess what. I agree with you! you are ALREADY f'd in the head from her.

 

[Jestor]

Hey guys, long time reader, first time poster, fairly decent DJ.

Basically, what I'm writing about is an experience I have had recently, and this kind of thing isn't uncommon I know.

I met a woman, 28, through an online dating service, solid 8.5. Very good looking woman. We talked over the internet for a while until SHE asked me out for drinks. I obliged. I'm dating 3 other woman as well so I wasn't in any hurry to oneitis over this one.

We meet the other night and immeaditely hit it off. We had great chemistry, both have identical senses of humor, same interests, etc. We sit and talk and drink for 5 hours, having a great time. I was c & f with her, neg hitting, and she would come right back at me-it was great. Both of us flirted with each other to a large degree. We agree that night to meet a few nights later for dinner and pool. By this time it's getting late and it's time to head home, so I invite her over. She comes over, we make out a little, talk some more, and after another 2 hours or so she heads home.

Yesterday we talk briefly over email and I say "I'll give you a call today about the time and place for dinner". So, I call her today, no answer, leave message. Wait 2 hours, nothing. I finally text and ask is she ok.....nothing. Meanwhile I can see she has been on her myspace so I know she isn't dead. What really irks me is even IF she wasn't interested, which is fine (though I have a hard time believing that after meeting the first night) how can someone just make a date, talk like everything is normal, and than just blantantly ignore someone without at least calling to cancel? Blows my mind.

I personally think the woman has some mental instabilities from a few comments she made while talking (maybe bi polar, borderline), but I couldn't say for sure.

What I can say for sure is are people really this weird to do something like this? Has society really accepted this as the norm now?

Opinions?

There was the opportunity to close her the first time you two were alone. Putting that sort of thing off until a future date sucks big time. It's an interrupt in the sexual tension and is unnatural to you and her.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

That's normal, bro. Happens all the time. If you're new to dating, this is common.

Find a dating strategy that works best for you, so that you won't care about one girl not returning your calls/texts/emails/smoke signals. There are many methods on this site. It's best to adapt to the game as to play it better.

On another note, I'd love to see some more positive threads about what's been working for people.
Here's mine: I have a 19yo f-buddy who I hadn't spoken with in over a month. I called her about a month ago asking her what she's up to. She told me she was "busy with work". I was cool with that, short conversation. So I didn't contact her after that. Fast forward to last night. She sends me a text out of the blue last telling me that she just got back from Cali. I knew what she wanted. I texted her back: "come ova and tell me about it". She was at my place within an hour and we went right to my bedroom. She left a couple hours later. I'll probably hear from her in another month or two. You see, I don't care if she calls/texts as I have other girls just like her who text/call me to say 'hi' aka 'booty call'. Get yoself a harem, homie and you won't care about one girl :cheer:


EDIT: I agree with above poster - you could have/should have closed the deal that night at your house.

 

[st_99]

I get a good laugh from posts like these..:crackup:

Sorry, it just reminds me that I'm not the only one and makes me feel
better!

 

[steadyguy2000]

I'm saying that I once had a gf who had BPD, and while I don't know that this girl does or not, lets say she "reminded" me in some respects of a possible BPD girl. Put it this way. This girl is gorgeous, and if I can figure out how I'll even post a pic of her. She has a good job, never married or kids. But she hasn't had a bf or meaningful relationship in 10 years. That tells me something. Plus she made a few comments that made me wonder.

As for sex, I've had my share of one night stands. This wasn't the time for that. Trust me. Besides if a girl WON'T GO out with me BECAUSE I didn't sleep with her on the FIRST date, that isn't someone I need to be with lol. But I can assure you that wasn't the case here.

 

[Phyzzle]

how can someone just make a date, talk like everything is normal, and than just blantantly ignore someone without at least calling to cancel?

Dude, she didn't make a date.

You called, she didn't answer. Maybe she's busy. It was a mistake to try back again on the same day. A little too jumpy.

Just unacceptable behavior in my book.

HUGE over reaction. She didn't make any plans and doesn't owe you any call. Maybe she was frazzled/bichy from work and wanted to talk to you when she was "on top of her game."

 

[steadyguy2000]

No I've dated since I was 14 lol. Devirginized at 15, slept with at least 60 women. So I'm not a novice at this game.

Just struck as being extremely odd behavior considering how well the night went a few days ago. And rude to say the least.

 

[steadyguy2000]

Phyzzle, we had a date. Dinner and pool. Even had the place to eat picked out. We just didn't know the time yet due to her work, which was what we were going to figure out.

 

[steadyguy2000]

One thing I can assure you guys is I will not let her know that this irritated me. All she has is message saying to give me a call and a text asking is she ok.

I'll never ever let a woman know they got to me though.

 

[thefemaleperspective]

this does not qualify as f'ed in the head. anyone who thinks that it does greatly diminishes the meaning of the phrase as it pertains to women.

slow your roll and let sh!t play out.

at this point, this is a borderline flake... That's it.

I have to agree.

Maybe it she is playing games now because she thinks she moved too fast, and doesn't want to lose your IL.

Or maybe she isn't playing games, and thinks she moved too fast, so she is distancing herself.

It is messed up that she basically stood you up, but just act like you don't care. If she gets ahold of you in the future, I would ignore the first call. If it is an email or whatever, respond, but act like you don't care. Don't come across as angry, whatever you do. No woman wants an emo pvssy.

Act like you are indifferent to her. If she seems like she wants to go out again, THEN you play your cards like this:

Tell her that she basically stood you up (use ****y and funny here)
Tell her that she now needs to make this up to you, or it isn't worth your precious time, as you are very busy. (be vague, and still, c+f)

She must now work for you, since she played you

Otherwise, if she never calls, then oh well. It is probaly for the best. Maybe she is married with kids.

 

[steadyguy2000]

Female perspective...yeah anything is possible as far as married and kids lol.

As for everything else you mentioned..thanks. I have been a visitor to this site for many, many years, so I know how the game is played. I was just struck how rude this was. I mean even if I flat out hated the girl on our first date, I would still have the common decency to call and cancel. But that's just me. Besides, why even make a second date if you aren't interested?

 

[jophil28]

This is a CLASSIC example of how hot women act sometimes. They seem to really believe that they can pull this shyte and men will tolerate it. Why do they do this ? Because they believe that THEY are a prize and that we will chase 'em NO MATTER WHAT they do..
Her behavior is atrocious and you need to NEXT her .
The poster above ( A female perspective ) misses the point. It does NOT count for sh*t why she flaked . Talking about some girly crud about "distancing herself " is another way of trying to excuse a woman's shyte behavior. Do not tolerate this stuff for a microsecond. Do not "be understanding" when she calls you with some lame explanation. These women need to be DELETED at the first sign of disrespect .
If you take her back you are endorsing her flaking behavior and she will know that you have a high tolerance for craip. And you will get MORE of the same.
Ask yourself - what would stop YOU from contacting her just before an arranged date. House on fire? Dog on fire? You had a med emergency ??
Anything less is flaking and flaking is NOT OK - ever !

 

[Charm]

Some women are immature. Some like to play games with guys and let the guy get all freaked out. Some are both.

Dont sweat it. There are cool girls out there too. You gotta keep on approaching, meeting and expanding your social circle. I probably date 3-4 women on any given week and they are usually different from the previous weeks women. Sometimes I see the same bird twice in a week if we're really hitting things off. I have no problem letting a woman know that I can and do get better looking more mature and sexier women than her. They know I can go out and get another girl any time I want and I know it too. Confidence my friend. Dont sweat any one chick.

 

[Phyzzle]

Oh, I thought it was dinner and pool, then you went home for a little making out . . . wasn't clear there.

Anyhow, this used to happen to me plenty of times. I hope you'll adopt my current policy: never make a date without a time and place. No more of this "let me check with everyone else and get back to you sometime around Thursday-ish" stuff for me.

Thing is, I've had a lot of jobs and a lot of schoolwork, and things like tests and projects don't just appear out of nowhere at 7 in the evening. If she just isn't sure what's up with work, if she insists that you must call later to decide the time, then you know she's not that thrilled about showing up, so you say "never mind."

On another note, you're only one date in, you've met her, maybe, 3 times? You can't rely on her staying interested. It takes a while to warm up.

 

[steadyguy2000]

The date was for tonight DC. I have 0 problem with her not going out. I mean that happens to everyone and who knows maybe she got back with an ex or is married or whatever. But at least have the common courtesy to let someone know what is going on and leave it at that.

The really ironic thing is some of our conversation the other night involved talking about how strange a lot of people in this world are. And she agreed that she thinks she is so normal and that there are freaks abounding everywhere. Turns out she really isn't any different lol.

 

[STR8UP]

I personally think the woman has some mental instabilities from a few comments she made while talking (maybe bi polar, borderline), but I couldn't say for sure.

They are out there, trust me

 

[jophil28]

I NEVER give much cred to what women SAY . Their mouths just open and words fall out .
"The greater truth is in their Behavior."

 

[lookyoung]

There could be a number of reasons why she did not call you back. Maybe you did something to turn her off. Maybe she had a low interest level in you. Maybe she got back with her x boyfriend. Maybe she was getting fvcked when you called her.

Bottom line is who gives a fvck. Your overanalyzing the situation. Woman do that be a man.

Here is a guy who claims to have fvcked over 60 woman and is currently spinning 3 other plates yet is worried about a girl not calling him back.


Something here is not quite right.