Women..I swear..are jacked in the head

[GtarPlayr73]

This is a CLASSIC example of how hot women act sometimes. They seem to really believe that they can pull this shyte and men will tolerate it. Why do they do this ? Because they believe that THEY are a prize and that we will chase 'em NO MATTER WHAT they do..
Her behavior is atrocious and you need to NEXT her.

Yeah! Way to call it!

 

[steadyguy2000]

I couldn't agree more. I date enough quality women not to have fool around with this. I guess my point was I have seen this before, on occasion with me, and with other friends, to know this isn't THAT an unusual occurence, which was the point of my original post. If she had not made the second date and even talked about it afterwards, then great, move on and go our separate ways. But don''t make a date then just disappear.

 

[squirrels]

I met a woman, 28, through an online dating service,

Nothing else needs to be said.

until SHE asked me out for drinks. I obliged.

Way to take charge there.

We sit and talk and drink for 5 hours, ... , and after another 2 hours or so she heads home.

Jesus...there are very few people I wouldn't have ENOUGH of after 7 hours.

"I'll give you a call today about the time and place for dinner".

Do you mean, you'll call her so she can tell you where she wants to have dinner?? And why do you have to announce your call in advance? Not to mention that you just got done a 7 hour stint and you're already back on the phone after her.

So, I call her today, no answer, leave message. Wait 2 hours, nothing. I finally text and ask is she ok.....nothing.

She's OK.

Meanwhile I can see she has been on her myspace so I know she isn't dead.

No, you checked to see if she was on MySpace because you were afraid she was "playing with your heart" and had to know for sure. You're stalking now. Cut it out.

What really irks me is even IF she wasn't interested, which is fine (though I have a hard time believing that after meeting the first night) how can someone just make a date, talk like everything is normal, and than just blantantly ignore someone without at least calling to cancel? Blows my mind.

WHAT date? Until you have a date and time picked out, there IS no date. "We should go get dinner Friday" isn't a date. "I'll call you to talk about dinner" isn't a date. "Let's do dinner tomorrow at 9." followed by "OK" is a date. Not to mention the fact that you just HAD a 7-hour dinner with this girl...can't you think of something a little more interesting to do with your time?

I personally think the woman has some mental instabilities from a few comments she made while talking (maybe bi polar, borderline), but I couldn't say for sure.

Probably...you found her on an INTERNET DATING SITE. Even the guys who find decent girls online aren't finding them on dating sites...they find them on MySpace or Facebook. Being on an Internet dating site is a great way to say, "There's something wrong with my ability to meet people in real life". Which says something about BOTH of you.

What I can say for sure is are people really this weird to do something like this? Has society really accepted this as the norm now?

Opinions?

Dude, girls have been doing this crud since I was in middle school. This is the first time you've noticed?? You need to get out more.

Seriously...f*ck it. I'd say call her one more time in a couple days to make sure there's no miscommunication, but you're already so emotionally distraught over this girl I dunno if you could handle it. This is a non-event, and you're making a heart-wrenching human drama story out of it. She doesn't call back, she's not interested. Move on to the next one.

 

[Vulpine]

I tend to look at "other people who want to be with me" for a gauge. See, when you compare behaviors of people in your life who are known to have respect for you and are known to want to have you in their lives to the behaviors of newly met people, the result is a handy measure and reallity check.

The thing is, people just don't do certain things when they WANT to have you in their lives.

For example, when you call your mother and leave a message, does she call back? When you make plans to do something with your brother/sister/cousin, do they flake without a call/reschedule/warning?

I've found that this simple relation cuts through a lot of mind clutter and gets to the point: I can just skip right to the "she must not want me in her life" assumption and get on with other business.

And, to further have your head right, ask yourself this:

When you call your friend/mother/brother/cousin and leave a message, and they don't return it, how much do you stress over it?

Riiiiiight, you don't, really. Seriously. Think about it.

Typically, if you leave a message, you instantly get on with life without giving it another thought - sometimes you even forget you called at all, don't you?

I personally fuxing hate phone/schedule games that women play, so I don't play them. And...

NO TEXTY GAMES!

It's a god-damned Nintendo Game-Boy Chat game for women, I swear. Talk about some high-school study hall crap for teeny-bopper chicks! I wish more guys would see it that way. Texts are for things like: "cant rtrn call: in mtng", "Section 8, row C, 43", "look left!", "Dude said 7th st., not 'Seth' st.", "grab 2 limes on the way, plz", and other such brief, no-response-needed, disseminations of information/intruction. Texts ARE NOT FOR CHATTING!!!!

There is a reason "chat" is called "chat": it's a spoken conversation.

"r u ok?"



WtF do you care if she's ok or not? You just met her! You have no investment! Creepy. Clingy. Neeeeedy.

:kick:

 

[Sinistar]

She's spinnin' plates and you're probably #5 or #6. Your date went way to long so zero mystery. And you called her too soon and even inquired as to whether she was okay or not. The breakdown by squirrels nailed it. Vulpine's did too. At this point you're just another beta who entered her frame. And she's not BPD, she's just a HB with better options.

 

[steadyguy2000]

Guys, some of you are over analyzing lol. I've been on this board long enough to know that that is a very common theme around here. Not to mention the "need" by some to be "the man" at all times without feelings or emotions. Fact is SHE MADE A DATE. We had definite plans to do something last night. There was never a question about that. Only question was the exact time. What she did in NOT returning a phone call WAS rude, arrogant, immature. If she didn't want to go out, then don't MAKE a date!

I am not distraught by what happened. I'm not thinking about it. As far as I am concerned what she did was plenty for me to never want to have anything to do with her again. I just wanted to bring up the point that this goes on far too much in today's society. This lack of simple respect and courtesy. And I think it is done more by women lately due to the simple fact that they are more and more empowered by men's worship/ need for them, and by the fact that women are "feeling their oats" so to say and getting better places when it comes to the job place.

I'm sure this woman has men asking her out all of the time. Judging from what she told me she turns 99% of them down. To her I'm sure she thinks she can do whatever she wants and whatever. That was more or less my commentary on this all-the total lack of respect that many in today's society now have for their fellow human beings.

 

[Vulpine]

Guys, some of you are over analyzing lol. I've been on this board long enough to know that that is a very common theme around here. Not to mention the "need" by some to be "the man" at all times without feelings or emotions.

I've noticed a theme myself: Nobody wants to admit that they are the cause of their problems. No, everyone must project the blame. It's her fault, it's forum member's fault, whatever, not the poster's problem... no, never.


steadyguy2000: *call*

HB: *no return call... for only 2 hours*

steadyguy2000: *wets his pants, sends texty*

HB: *has ego-gasm, passes out in bed*

I just wanted to bring up the point that this goes on far too much in today's society. This lack of simple respect and courtesy.

I disagree.

To me, it's not that the "lack of simple respect and courtesy" goes on too much, it's the fact that it's TOLERATED, and thus perpetuated, that is the kick in the head.

Why did this chick get a text message? Huh? Why?

BECAUSE YOU WERE TOLERATING CRAP!!!

"Oh, please call me back! Please? Whatever I did to make you upset... I'm sorry. Come on, give me a chance!"

 

[jophil28]

Sinistar wrote , " she is just a HB with better options." So what ?
Does THAT give her a license to flake on an arrangement that she made to have dinner with Steadyguy. Whether their agreement to meet for dinner was technically a "date" or not is really irrelevant. She and he discussed going out for dinner, she said OK to that and he suggested that he call her with the time details later. Where is the problem with that ? I have done similar things numerous times and the women involved always were expecting to "go out on a date " which we did - no problem.
I suspect that she would have flaked however the arrangements were negotiated. Why? Because she does this shyte. And why does she do this ? Because she can - WE men tolerate it to a large extent by being "understanding " and accepting of the most unbelievably gibberish as explanation.
Tell me guys, would you be as understanding if a good male buddy of yours just did not show up for a fishing trip ? Or a game of golf ? How do you feel when a casual acquaintance/trademan/ acquaintance just does not show up or return you calls. WE do not take kindly to MEN doing this shyte BUT we are willing to shrug it of when a woman does it.
Someone wrote , "Women have been doing this forever " -- They have because we LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT !!

WE expect a HIGHER standard of behavior from men , and we are willing to accept a lower standard from women -AND guess what? That is exactly what we are getting ! They are meeting our expectations !

My 2 centavos.

 

[squirrels]

Guys, some of you are over analyzing lol. I've been on this board long enough to know that that is a very common theme around here.

Then why are you acting like this is somehow evidence of the destruction of society in our age?? Or making a big deal of it at all?? Yes, women flake on guys they're not that into. Yes, chump men make a big deal out of it. Yes, there are a lot of those on this forum...so yes, it IS prevalent here.

Not to mention the "need" by some to be "the man" at all times without feelings or emotions. Fact is SHE MADE A DATE. We had definite plans to do something last night. There was never a question about that. Only question was the exact time.

Then there was no date. I'm not saying it's RIGHT, but it's how women work.

What she did in NOT returning a phone call WAS rude, arrogant, immature. If she didn't want to go out, then don't MAKE a date!

I am not distraught by what happened. I'm not thinking about it.

Then why are you posting about it raving about how irresponsible it was?

And I think it is done more by women lately due to the simple fact that

That you're just lately starting to date women. Otherwise you'd get a lot of this kind of sh!t. It happens. Women are flakes. That's why most people on here tell you to have multiple options, because some of them just aren't gonna be that into you.

I dunno what caused this particular one to flake on you...based on your thread, it was you giving her too much credit and chasing her too hard too soon in the relationship. My point is that this is NOT some new feminist reversal on society. WOMEN HAVE DONE THIS FOREVER. And they will KEEP doing it.

 

[steadyguy2000]

Jophill I couldn't agree more. And I am slightly mystified at the seemingly tolerant attitude some have here towards womens behavior. Like I said I think some here are getting to the point where they would rather be a robot and show no emotion whatsoever when it comes to women and what they do. Like you said if one of your buds did the same things, damn straight you would say something to him.

Vulpine, I am not upset at what happened. We went out one time. The reason it lasted so long was we were having a good time together. I don't worry about "mystery" or think to myself, "hmmm, this date has lasted exactly 2 hours, 12 minutes, 33 seconds, in order for this girl to like me more, I need to end this date NOW so that she will know I am the man and have better things to do". Gimme a break. I have better things to do than to worry about crap like that. We ended the date when the date ended. When it ended of its own volition. We made plans to get together again, and she flaked bigtime. I am not worrying about it but at the same time it's attitudes like yours, the whole who cares thing, that has allowed women today to be able to get away with this.

 

[steadyguy2000]

Squirrels, seriously. I've been on MILLIONS of dates. I've slept with over 60 women. I've had numerous long term relationships. Lived with a couple of them.

I know of which I speak. I'm not some novice here who hasn't had a date in 2 years. Just this month I've slept with 3 different women.

I'm not trying to disparage your comments, but at least have your story straight.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I've noticed a theme myself: Nobody wants to admit that they are the cause of their problems. No, everyone must project the blame. It's her fault, it's forum member's fault, whatever, not the poster's problem... no, never.


steadyguy2000: *call*

HB: *no return call... for only 2 hours*

steadyguy2000: *wets his pants, sends texty*

HB: *has ego-gasm, passes out in bed*




I disagree.

To me, it's not that the "lack of simple respect and courtesy" goes on too much, it's the fact that it's TOLERATED, and thus perpetuated, that is the kick in the head.

Why did this chick get a text message? Huh? Why?

BECAUSE YOU WERE TOLERATING CRAP!!!

"Oh, please call me back! Please? Whatever I did to make you upset... I'm sorry. Come on, give me a chance!"

 

[Sinistar]

Vulpine, I am not upset at what happened. We went out one time. The reason it lasted so long was we were having a good time together. I don't worry about "mystery" or think to myself, "hmmm, this date has lasted exactly 2 hours, 12 minutes, 33 seconds, in order for this girl to like me more, I need to end this date NOW so that she will know I am the man and have better things to do". Gimme a break. I have better things to do than to worry about crap like that. We ended the date when the date ended. When it ended of its own volition. We made plans to get together again, and she flaked bigtime. I am not worrying about it but at the same time it's attitudes like yours, the whole who cares thing, that has allowed women today to be able to get away with this.

...I knew it, this whole time women have been flaking and it's all Vulpine's fault

 

[Vulpine]

Squirrels, seriously. I've been on MILLIONS of dates. I've slept with over 60 women. I've had numerous long term relationships. Lived with a couple of them.

I know of which I speak. I'm not some novice here who hasn't had a date in 2 years. Just this month I've slept with 3 different women.

Ok, this is the second time you've tried to qualify yourself to "the DJ's".

Drop that "I'm not a novice" crap, directly. I tagged well over 150 women before I found this site. Or, at least that's what I thought. It turns out that, due to my fux0red mindest, I "got fuxed" by 150 women. There is a big, big difference, steadyguy2000, believe me. So you've gotten laid - yippee, throw a parade.

Right about now, you should be asking yourself: "out of those '60', how many were situations that were controlled by me versus controlled by the woman?"

Odds are, you were a dildo for 58 women.

How old are you?

 

[steadyguy2000]

I'm 28.

I'm not really trying to qualify myself. Just a few have said that I should get out and date more or I haven't had much dating experience and Im just saying that that really isn't anywhere close to the truth. And no I have always usually had very equitable relationships or ones where I was slightly in control. Now of course there are exceptions to everything. We've all had our bad moments.

 

[baller1985]

shes not jacked in the head, i do that all the time to girls

its called having lotsa options

 

[steadyguy2000]

Well I guess I must be living in the twilight zone then because while I do have my share of options, if I have a date and decide for whatever reason to not go, I always make sure and let the girl know I won't be able to make it.

 

[Vulpine]

Well, let me just say that their is no need to be all defensive, we aren't judging. If you feel a little "oppressed" it's because noone likes to be criticized. There's a difference between "helping a guy" and "bashing a guy". Keep in mind that noone on this site gives a fux about you or your problems. So, any advice offered, or critique, might be help. Whether or not you care for the tone, agree, or you love it doesn't matter: this site is here to help.

That being said, give some consideration to the things said that counter what you know from experience. My whole life up until 29 has been proven "wrong". I wanted to hang on to old habits at first. But, after pondering a bit on the mechanics of how's and why's, I'm finding my own better path.

So, rather than post "No, I'm not!" or other such defensive arguements, reply instead with "Hmm..." or "I've considered that, but...". The difference is proactive versus reactive. You don't solve any problems with a fight, you solve problems with understanding.

Being a "long time reader", you've probably already read some seriously mind-warping sh!t on here. What I'm saying is go with it, don't fight it.

Bleh... who am I but some hippie on the internet... *shrug*

 

[vitor]

She is just not worth it. I always hammer plans out in detail, Sunday at 7, dinner and drinks ok great. I like how you called to confrim imagine driving over to pick her up and she isnt there. Dont call her, let her call you.

 

[baller1985]

Well I guess I must be living in the twilight zone then because while I do have my share of options, if I have a date and decide for whatever reason to not go, I always make sure and let the girl know I won't be able to make it.

yea see, i do that too when it comes to girls i been seeing alot or that i actually give a **** about. However, some girls are "bottom bytches" if you know what that means.....they are like the backup date (as you were in this case), and i simply dont care about them at all, yet id still kiss/have sex with them when im horny. When I flake like that on these girls, seems like their interest level either stays the same or rises, cuz I come at them 3 days later saying "hey baby lets do something tonight" and they say "sure!"

This girl made plans with you, but she may have already had 3 sets of plans with 3 other guys.....and maybe 2 of those other guys have already fvcked her good and she actually cares to see them, so she was nice enough to call and cancel on them

but YOU, you are just some new guy and not much of a loss for her.

She's a bytch for doing this there is no doubt about it, but hey, call up one of your other 3 girls, invite 1 of them over for sex, and then text that bytch in 2 days and say "hey babe whats up?"

pretend u didnt even notice that she did that


or

just never talk to her again