Women don't want to be chased!

[skinnyguy]

The more I observe, the more I understand that chasing women is a failed strategy.

The men who do the best with women are the ones who try the least. Women want a guy who has abundance and can get laid any night of the week. The "player" type if you will. Even the so-called good girls do. Initially I thought the girls who abused by their fathers wanted bad boys/players. But in our generation, pretty much every girl wants this.

If you chase women, you give off the vibe that you don't have abundance. Women can sniff this from a mile away.

That's why guys who learn game at some bootcamp don't do well with women. It comes off as unauthentic. The natural players will always win over those guys.

 

[way2smart]

It doesn't matter if a guy came from a "bootcamp" or not.
What matters is that girls WANT to chase guys, they want the guys who are unavailable, the one's who are hard to get. Also they want guys who are not jerks, but who are polite but assertive, and by assertive I mean, saying "NO" when it's not in the best interest for you to say "YES".

And ideally you should even tell your girl what to do, you should be like an an Alpha, where your girl just follows you whatever you decide to do.
Girls WANT to be told what to do and what not do do. Contrary to what every girl will tell you(even a feminista), girls like to be totally controlled by a guy. And by controlled I don't mean being jealous of your girl, I mean to be in total control of the relationship and hold the power in the relationship.

And when a girl senses the vibe that you are that kind of Alpha guy, that's when she wants you even more.

 

[Poon King]

The man problem a lot of men have is they don't realize that women are inferior to men. Masculine confidence comes from being aware of your superiority.

Chasing women is like a drug dealer chasing customers. It makes no sense. Junkies will come to the drug dealer on their own. All he has to do is make them aware of the drugs. Likewise, all you need to do is make a woman aware of your interest. The attracted ones will come on their own (follow your lead). The rest will ignore you. Just like people who don't do drugs will ignore the drug dealer.

 

[GS750]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to skinnyguy again.

Chasing is lame. You might eventually get her, yeah. But she'll hold the cards. I know one guy, he chased this chick for a couple years. She is 4 years older than him too. They started dating. She moved away and had him in a LDR for 2 years 2,000 miles away. She fvcked other guys while she was away too. While he sat home in Toronto with his d*ck in his hand. She married him eventually, after she explored her options with other guys. But guess who wears the pants in that relationship? It's sad to watch, she walks all over him.


Edit...I'm out of posts.

By chasing I mean pursuing a girl who has

Shown no interest
Ignored texts or calls
Rejected you or turned you down more than once
Has lukewarm or no interest in you

Obviously you have to show some interest. Expressing interest is fine. Being overeager chasing her like a dog with the red rocket at full attention is not.

 

[Evan]

Yea it's no good. Even if you do land her it's not fun. She doesn't appreciate it like a high IL women does. The chemistry in bed sucks too. If she doesn't show much interest, put much time or investment into you then it's not likely to go as well as you would like. Much better to walk away and let her be. It's like fishing. Cast out your bait and then let her bite if she wants. If she bites then you got a solid interested women here for you to reel in.

This is why men who have experience with women and have women in their lives have a much easier time reeling them in. Because if a women doesn't want them they don't waste their time. It doesn't matter because they already have a women who will bang them if that prospect falls through or they just know it's time to spin another plate. Women do this easily when they aren't attracted to a man anymore. Men should walk away easily too when a women isn't giving him what he wants.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

WRONG.

High calibre chicks will need some chasing. They will need some indication of interest just like men do.

Please do not fall in to the hole of assuming that you are the ultimate alpha Pitt-Clooney-alike, whose feet to which all women will fall. Because you're not, and they wont.

A lot of 9's and 10's will find your arrogance cute and possibly amusing. But it doesn't mean they want to do the deed.

High calibre chicks WILL be getting attention from high calibre men. Be unavailable all you want, but go for weeks on end without making effort, and she will be looking elsewhere.

Giving attention is fine. 500 text messages and 20 phone calls day is not.

TMK says LEARN THE DIFFERENCE.

 

[Dgwizdal]

WRONG.

High calibre chicks will need some chasing. They will need some indication of interest just like men do.

Please do not fall in to the hole of assuming that you are the ultimate alpha Pitt-Clooney-alike, whose feet to which all women will fall. Because you're not, and they wont.

A lot of 9's and 10's will find your arrogance cute and possibly amusing. But it doesn't mean they want to do the deed.

High calibre chicks WILL be getting attention from high calibre men. Be unavailable all you want, but go for weeks on end without making effort, and she will be looking elsewhere.

Giving attention is fine. 500 text messages and 20 phone calls day is not.

TMK says LEARN THE DIFFERENCE.

This. There is a fine line that needs to be walked between indifference and investment for girls that are worth your time in the long run. Chicks only chase so much before they start to resent you for not givińg a fvck. Have lost a few by pushing them away when I should have been giving reassurance.

The only chicks that want to be pushed away forever are BPD or low calibre. Period.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Women absolutely do want to be chased. By guys they are interested in. Most likely the guy not chasing.

They don't want to be chased by guys they are not interested in. Most likely the guy who is.

 

[stevo]

I've come to the same conclusion too.

Majority of men (AFCs) chase making it tiring and predictable so a DJ stands out like a light in a tunnel (attracting the focus and attention of punanis)

However, my conclusion remains you have to initiate. dont push. hold your standard. fcuk them and relax.

(Like POON, let them sniff your drug and come running back)

There are two types of men:
1. Chase the punani
2. Have confidence in what they have in their pants.

 

[zekko]

There is a fine line that needs to be walked between indifference and investment for girls that are worth your time in the long run.

Right, unless a girl is crushing on you for her own reasons, you have to show SOME interest in order to get her attention. Women don't generally aggressively pursue men. So you will at least have to invite her out, and probably display some high value or attractive qualities as well.

What puts women off is when you are overeager, or more into them than makes sense for the time that you have known them. That sets off the alarm bells in their heads, because it makes you look like you are desperate, low value, and don't have any options.

There's a study that shows women take something like 14 dates before they fall in love, compared to like three for men. That's partly because they have options, and if you go immediately gaga over them it makes you look like a loser.

 

[DragonBlood]

Yep agree TMK. The 8-9s require chasing (to a degree) because of the high influx of interest. An 8 will forget about you by the end of the week if you do nothing.

The rest HB7- do not require chasing after you have asked out, They may need SOME encouragement but they will make their interest known if it exists.

 

[Bokanovsky]

WRONG.

High calibre chicks will need some chasing. They will need some indication of interest just like men do.

Not necessarily. It's not about her "caliber" per se, but rather how her caliber stacks up against yours. If she is high caliber but you are even higher caliber, you will not have to chase. However, if she has higher relative social value* than you do, you will have to chase and the amount of chasing will be directly proportional to the difference in your respective relative social values. The dating scene in a typical big city/major metropolitan area is what economists call an "efficient market". There are so many single people out there, that people tend to end up dating those who have comparable relative social value. To punch above one's weight requires a great deal of effort ("chasing").

*Relative social value is just that - relative. It depends on your age, location, social circle, etc. A short fat guy who finds himself shipwrecked on a desert island with 100 women will have higher social value than a handsome tall stud at a sausage fest party with an 80:20 male-to-female ratio.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't think you should chase women per se. But if you aren't the type of guy where women chase you or the women that do chase you are unattractive, then you need to at least show interest and ask out the one you want. If she rejects you, move on. Do not chase.

Of course, age is a factor. I think aloof game worked better when I was younger. It doesn't work so well on older broads IME. They will flirt with you a few times and then GIVE UP if you don't make a move.

 

[Lolapo]

Yep agree TMK. The 8-9s require chasing (to a degree) because of the high influx of interest. An 8 will forget about you by the end of the week if you do nothing.

The rest HB7- do not require chasing after you have asked out, They may need SOME encouragement but they will make their interest known if it exists.

Exactly, if a there's an 8+ that's interested in you and she has a decent IQ, she'll show you she's interested in a minor way but then you will have to reassure her otherwise she'll just enter autoreject and start thinking:
A) oh he's not that special, i don't really care..
B) Oh he's not interested
C) meh I'm better than him anyway

Now the reason I said, decent IQ, is because hot ones with no intellegence level will just throw themselves all open to you, depends if you're down for that..

 

[skinnyguy]

There is a difference between chasing and showing interest.

I'm talking about guys who incessantly show attention to a woman, when they probably have no chance. I'm not saying stop asking women on dates.

 

[Mike32ct]

There is a difference between chasing and showing interest.

I'm talking about guys who incessantly show attention to a woman, when they probably have no chance. I'm not saying stop asking women on dates.

Understood. I agree then.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Women absolutely do want to be chased. By guys they are interested in. Most likely the guy not chasing.

They don't want to be chased by guys they are not interested in. Most likely the guy who is.

^This is pretty much what I was going to say....

If you're a guy chasing her and she wants you - you're in it with ease.
If you're a guy chasing her and she doesn't want you - you're a creep with no chance.

Best to spend your time on ones that already want you.

I'm not one of these people who believes you can't change a woman's mind. I have changed at least 4 of the women I've slept with (they flatly told me they weren't attracted to me in the beginning.) BUT.... it's not worth the time or effort... Interested chicks only!

Which I guess is skinnyguys point.... Because you're not really chasing interested chicks - you're just playing the game along with them.


Now being thirsty (aggressively pursuing sex) is another story entirely.

 

[Trump]

The men who do the best with women are the ones who try the least. Women want a guy who has abundance and can get laid any night of the week. The "player" type if you will. Even the so-called good girls do. Initially I thought the girls who abused by their fathers wanted bad boys/players. But in our generation, pretty much every girl wants this.

If you chase women, you give off the vibe that you don't have abundance. Women can sniff this from a mile away.

I don't know about that. You still have to put effort in to do well with women. It's more about, what has been said 100 times in here, don't be outcome dependent or they will use it to their advantage.

You still have to chase. If you don't chase you get complacent and boring, and she will drop you. When I was younger every girl I've had in the back pocket dropped me because I wanted to show her I was too rock and roll to be tied down, too cool to chase. :rockon:

 

[Serenity]

To chase or not to chase? It's never black or white. I chase when I don't know what else to do, I stop at the first bad sign. Then I go again when that's passed, it's push and pull. It's far more complex than either chasing or not. Some women chase while others must be chased. I never chase by giving up my cards, I chase by making absolutely fvcking clear beyond all doubt what I want. The choice is theirs, I win no matter what she chooses. If I don't get her I don't want her anyways, because I despise the thought of a fake relationship where one part is doing something against their will.

It works, and it works damn well. Because if I'm the only one who cares the girl won't play her part in making it happen. If they play hard to get it's their loss, I know I'm worthy. I know so not just because I say so myself, but because everyone I know says it and shows it. I no longer play hard to get, I am hard to get. I cannot allow a crazy b!tch to ruin all the good I have going, I cannot let down the people who care for me. Because if I do I am royally screwed in life, and if that happens I will have to walk through hell again (or commit suicide).

So chasing or not chasing, I don't stick to extremes. What actually works in the end is balance and having the ability to self evaluate what factors to balance on. Chase too much and you become needy and you freak out the girl, chase too little and the girl might think you're not into her. Hit the balance point and holy sh!t, they see you as the only guy in the world who gets it. Key here is to adjust to her, not just go blind by some principle or system. Because no system or principle works all over.

The part about not trying too hard is correct though. Trying too hard is the feeling one gets at the point where they chase too much and are afraid to tone it down. It's a fear based on ignorance, assuming that the girl will assume you're not interested if you hold back a bit. If you've done anything to clearly express how you feel, you can be fvcking sure she knows. Remember that women are super perceptive of these things. Don't pretend to not care when you in fact do either, believe it or not they pick up on that as well and take it to be a lie.

 

[skinnyguy]

My worry is that chasing leads to 1) Entitlement 2) AW behavior 3) Hypergamy because they can get whatever they want out of men 4) Pedestalization.

One of the best pieces of advice that I have gotten on SS is that "YOU are the prize". This is so true if you think about it. If you chase, you completely negate this and make her feel like she's a deity when she's not. Women should be asking us out, not the other way around. It seems like women these days get to be "chased" while having the same rights, pay, and status as men.