What are your boundaries with women at work?
100% off limits.
In my experience it's a paradox. keep your work at work and keep your private life private.
People talk to girls at work for 2 reasons, 1. they are "easier" because you have an automatic "in" which makes the chance of rejection lower and 2. because they don't have enough time to do anything else.
that's a good litmus test IMHO. if you don't have enough time to talk to women AT ALL (and i've been there) to the point where your only chance of intimacy.. if you are looking for it, is to get it at work, you need to cut back and have a more balanced life. Again that's if you are looking for it.
But is sex with women at work always a destructive force?
the most important thing my dad ever told me (Besides bet pat day at Churchill), was that "Brandon (my real name), every relationship you have with a woman, is going to end. sit back and think about that.Every last relationship you have with a woman except 1, is going to get one, and some guys don't even get that one"
when you put it in that type of light, it just doesn't make sense.
at are your experiences with this? Have any had good results? Anyone here have this really bite them in the ass? Give a young man who is surrounded by nature-beauties here in the mountains a reason to keep his head on straight not to let sex/short-term gratification destroy a good long-term opportunity... (or maybe I've already found my own conclusions here)
When i had my first company and we had got our first real office and had our first real employees, I am a workaholic, make no mistake about it, but my old business partner, made me look lazy lol. it go to the point if i wanted to find him, i didn't even bother calling him anymore i don't care what time it was he was going to be at work. NO life. I work hard, i was working 70 plus hours a week, but when i left work, my work phone was thrown in the glove compartment and i had my "me" time as well. I didn't want to be bothered unless of extremely emergencies on my off days, i didn't want to talk about work on my off days i needed that mental break.
anyway, it's a tale of 2 cities so to speak. I had a balanced life. I left work at about 7 on a good week day, on Fridays i sold do pay roll and be out the door at noon and not come back to Sunday, we would have a 1 hour meeting, and i would continue my off time. I went out all the time.. at our highest point we had about 16 employees, about half of them women, and honesty none of them were ugly.
Anyway, my point was, I am the more socal of the 2 of us. IAs the most approachable, when someone had a problem they would come to me3 rather than him even if it was about him, i was really the only one who could talk to him. So girls would inquire about my availability, overtly and covertly. girls were asking if i wanted to go grab a drink after work, inviting me to get together and **** all the time. i wasn't having none of it. i had a nice rotation outside of work. Girls would stop by and see me while i was at work, my oneitis would just camp out in my office someday, everyone would be whispering "that must be his GF no that is his GF", which just drove the girls at work wild, but again, wasnt' going.
My partner, could not have been any different. "The sad thing is, he's good looking (I wish the "looks vesus game guys debate guys in the general forum could read this). Actually i would eve go so far to say he was better looking than I was, and i'm not gay. Dude was naturally very handsome "((he had a pretty cute ssiter as well who i knocked off in high school). 6'0 even, about 160 pounds, done, very strong features. A guy who should not have any problems getting women. this mother****er was off the chain lol. he basically looked at the office as his personal playground.
But because he was so socially awkward, i mean i 'got' him but hell we lived together basically for 2 years. i got the inside jokes and ****, everyone else didn't, girls really didn't... he just tried to hard.
he had the nicer apartment of the two of us. he spent (company money) about 15 grand on furniture when i moved out the apartment we shared, all Japanese custom furniture (bad ass). He had the nicer car of the two of us, he had matching lexus SC300's but his was 2 years newer and had rims and a bunch of aftermarket ****. he did all this **** to impress basically the girs at work. I'm like dude, you are the ****ing CEO of the company, you don't have to impress anyone here, your job title should speak volumes (i was the CFO, i have no ego and he honestly we both knew what we were and were not good at).
Anyway let me try to wrap this up. He hires a (bad as hell) Brazilian assistant, damn i forget her name, but she was super sweet, extremely easy on the eyes. First he pays her way too much, which we could afford it but still he was just trying to show off. He came up with some bull**** about how she has access to stuff and blah blah blah whatever the ****. Then, and i am not bull****ting whatsoever. goes on a 2 week vacation to Europe, takes her with him. mother****er came back with **** from Germany, France, London, they had a great time. he's just wining and dining her and what not.
Anyway, Saturday night out with one of my plates at a bar, i get a call on my personal from a number i don't know, i pick it up, it's the assistant. I'm like **** what the ****, is something wrong? she is like look, i do know how to tell you this, but... i'm on a date with a guy and i'm pretty sure kent (business partner) is outside stalking me.
So, i have to end my ****ing date short, and basically go and drag this mother****er from her house. He gets mad at me telling me i didn't have the right to do that, blah lah blah, we almost went to blows actually. i'm like dude get a ****ing hold of yourself. you are acting like a chump.
this was what really made me sale my part of the company. I was getting tired of it all honestly but he wasn't make it any better and i couldn't' control him. his pursuit of trying to impress women was going to drive us in the red sooner or later.
I knew i could never stay in a business with a guy that was so driven by ***** he was willing to stalk a ****ing assistant. I actually made the decision to get out on the way home, i had been debating it but that was the final straw for me.
lol the next day after our sunday meeting i ahd her meet me at starbucks for coffee to get the low down on what was going on between them, so i can make my final decision or whatever, come to found out, he has bough her so much ****, she hasn't even ****ed yet lol. I didn't know rather to laugh or cry becuase i am quite sure it was company money he was spending.
don't dip the pin in the company ink. I know it's convenient, god I know it's convenient, but don't do it.
