Women as they age?

[Latinoman]

My friends who are married are constantly landed on by their b-tchy wives, over and over and over, it's sad. But when they met them in their 20's, they weren't like this.

American culture has really damaged the attitudes of women.

Of course! Because they hold the cards. They know if hubby decides to leave her, that he will have to pay a crazy amount of child support and alimony in addition to losing most of his actives.

That's why they manage to mistreat men. Law and society have empowered those women (married, but unhappy about their biological changes).

 

[STR8UP]

I respectfully disagree.

I was married for a very long time...and I look very young. I won't lie and say that I look 28...but I certainly look 31. And if I truly wanted to look 28 or 27, I would simply have to change the way I carry myself and bingo. The reason, in my case is simple:

You are in the minority.

I met Rollo T in person and he is in a similar situation. The guy seems in control and honestly happy with his marriage, and it shows in that his appearance and attitude.

But aside from him and maybe a couple of other people I have met in the past, most men tend to go downhill after they get married.

 

[STR8UP]

Latino women also have respect for men.

The 20 yr old that I hooked up with last week is Dominican. I have never, repeat NEVER, in my entire 34 years of being alive, had a woman treat me the way she did. Not a negative man-hating bone in her body. She even offered to cook me breakfast in the morning and clean my place! And I just met her last week.

I gotta be careful not to get used to that kind of treatment. No girlfriends, ESPECIALLY those under 25. That's my rule and I'm sticking to it.

 

[Friendly Otter]

The big problem is society. Women in American society are taught to hate men. It's overt, covert, conscious and sub-conscious. It is drilled into their heads every day, from TV shows like "The View" to an onslaught of commercials with helpless husbands, who can't seem to do anything right. Women who like and respect men eventually succumb to the mass hatred of men based on U.S. culture.

I knew some really nice (and hot) Norwegian gals several years ago, who were studying in the states. They thought American women were incredbily shallow and couldn't understand their affinity for bad boys and in turn their hatred and lack of respect for men. Latino women also have respect for men.

My friends who are married are constantly landed on by their b-tchy wives, over and over and over, it's sad. But when they met them in their 20's, they weren't like this.

American culture has really damaged the attitudes of women.

This is definitely true, and I recognize what STR8UP is telling us as well.

But don't think it is American culture that has damaged their attitudes. It is Hollywood and some mainstream media that have damaged American culture.

And don't think Norway or Sweden or any West European country is much better. We have the same thing here, because remember, we watch the same TV shows from Hollywood, that alternate reality. The shows where the man in the family is a real chump, who is out-masculined by his wife as she sighs and wags her finger at him. Everybody Loves Raymond, for example... In that show, you also see a "strawman" (a demonized view of your opponent's arguments) in Raymond's father: as he is not a feminist, he is a selfish bastard who knows zero about feelings. Raymond's parents, not blessed by the teachings of feminism, live in a cold, loveless marriage full of conflict.

Don't think these shows haven't affected Europeans as well. Young girls learn that utopia is to lead a single life on Manhattan à la Sex And the City together with your other single friends when you're middle-aged, going to all the trendiest hotspots. (To top it off, you just gotta have a sensitive homosexual friend, and go to bars with transvestite waiters! The only men who really understand women are gays, right? Gays are the best, so much more sophisticated, just look at Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - we learn that a straight, masculine man is a flawed man, who must be changed.) In Sex And the City, when they visit women who live in the middle-class suburbs and have children, these women are obsessed with their children, like robot fanatics - clearly not a good life to live.

My point is: this is not American culture, it is Hollywood culture. It is the culture of those who contemptuously refer to Middle America as "fly-over country." New York and Los Angeles are the only places to live, for them. Whenever they show suburbia, there are dark, sinister secrets under the surface, like incest, rape, oppression of women, etc.

How could women not be affected by this? They learn to see men as the enemy, and family life as hell - just like the feminists say, "raising children is like a prison sentence." Approach a man and you approach a prison sentence. Men must be subdued, otherwise they'll eat women alive. Men must learn their place, or they'll rape and oppress.

 

[Friendly Otter]

The 20 yr old that I hooked up with last week is Dominican. I have never, repeat NEVER, in my entire 34 years of being alive, had a woman treat me the way she did. Not a negative man-hating bone in her body. She even offered to cook me breakfast in the morning and clean my place! And I just met her last week.

I gotta be careful not to get used to that kind of treatment. No girlfriends, ESPECIALLY those under 25. That's my rule and I'm sticking to it.

Sadly, I have seen this contrast too. This is not because Western women would be more flawed, but they are more brainwashed. Especially if they have spent time on campus reading something worthless like sociology.

Lots of Middle Eastern immigrants in Sweden. Surprisingly, first-generation women from the ME, and some of the second gen, will be much more feminine than Swedish women. Not in their looks. But in their gestures, the way they move. They are more demure, and more delicate. (You're thinking: don't they wear veils? I'm not talking about those, there are plenty of ME women who don't wear veils, most in fact, maybe even among the first gen.)

However, in the second gen, and definitely the third, most of them will have changed, dropped their traditional habits, adopting some sort of bastardized faux-ghetto culture combined with feminism (gotta be like what you see on MTV....). They'll be even more vulgar and unfeminine than Swedish women, and violent in school. (I have worked on and off as a temp teacher while studying, I know what I am talking about here.)

East European women will be more feminine than West European women too. They, too, lack the chip on their shoulder. "Submissive," sneer the feminists. Not at all. Delicate, soft, smooth ... demure ... pleasing. Feminine.

 

[Latinoman]

You are in the minority.

I met Rollo T in person and he is in a similar situation. The guy seems in control and honestly happy with his marriage, and it shows in that his appearance and attitude.

But aside from him and maybe a couple of other people I have met in the past, most men tend to go downhill after they get married.

Actually...very good point.

Now that I think about it...I have seen only a handful of individuals that look "good" in their 30s and 40s after 10+ year of marriage.

So, generally speaking, I agree with you (and stand corrected).

 

[WestCoaster]

I've also noticed the differences in foreigners in my work. My region has a fairly significant latino population, not enormous but not small either. The Mexican and Mexican-American women who come in for assistance/advising are SOOOOOO much different than American women, it's not even funny. I could meet with two or three American women in a row and then the Latina comes in and there's a different vibe.

One, they don't start yakking right off the bat, they listen, give you eye contact, smile, and are polite. They are very grateful for assistance, no b-tching. I really wasn't that aware of these huge age and cultural differences till I started working here.

There's also a small group of Yugoslavian women I advise and it's amazing. Couple sisters (both 8.5's by the way, easily) and their friends (all very cute) ... close to 4.00 GPAs, polite, respectful, don't dress like wh-res and carry themselves well. The two sisters got married young ... no sh-t, it would be tough to find an American woman with their qualities.

Unfortunately, I live in a very American white community. Most of the dating I've done here has been with U.S. white women and the attitudes are often the same. I'm gonna troll other markets.

 

[ninetenthhole]

Mature Women

As background, I have seen my 50th birthday come and go a while ago. I am currently in a relationship with a 53 year old woman who still turns heads of the guys in their thirties.

There are many unhappy mature women out there, disappointed in life or just pissed off that they are who they are, slugging down martinis in their designer clothes at fashionable watering holes. Then, there is a minority of those women who the kids are grown up and gone and they are ready to live life, be everything they can to their love partner.

How sad it is to believe you are "old" and life is over because you are over 50.

 

[WestCoaster]

A smile goes a long ways in my book. I've seen what I thought were 5's and 6's go to 8's with a smile and a good attitude ... and I've seen what I thought was a 9 go down to a 6 or lower with a frown and a bad attitude.

Twenty, 30, 40, 50, whatever, yep, looks do play an important role for men, who are visual creatures, and who can ignore sexual attraction, I know I can't. But a great ATTITUDE goes a long ways, a very long ways.

* As for STR8UP's rule on no young gf's, that's fine but that 20-year old Dominican might be someone special. Heck, yeah her attitude sounds great. After years and years of dating and of late on a really bad streak of dating unstable nutcases, my theory is if a good one comes along, don't dismiss her so quickly. In the good ol' U.S.A., a good woman is hard to find, very hard to find.

 

[STR8UP]

* As for STR8UP's rule on no young gf's, that's fine but that 20-year old Dominican might be someone special. Heck, yeah her attitude sounds great. After years and years of dating and of late on a really bad streak of dating unstable nutcases, my theory is if a good one comes along, don't dismiss her so quickly. In the good ol' U.S.A., a good woman is hard to find, very hard to find.

Well, she isn't exactly my type body wise. Not fat, but not proportioned the way I like. And the fact that she's only 20......MAAAAN that's trouble. Her best friend just told me, "You're her property now. When you are 20 years old and someone has sex with you that's how it is." Oh brother.

I'm sticking to my guns on my "no young chicks for g/f's" rule.

 

[WestCoaster]

OK, sounds good, I jumped the gun ... but still, major props STR8UP! Nice job.

 

[STR8UP]

OK, sounds good, I jumped the gun ... but still, major props STR8UP! Nice job.

Haha, I didn't even mention the best part!

I'm gonna post it in my "On week to close the deal" thread, check it out...pretty good stuff.

 

[Latinoman]

You're parroting an all too common myth that the "Today's Woman" crowd would love for guys to believe: Women reach their sexual peak around 40.

This is utter nonsense and contradicted by countless studies. Women "peak" sexually in their early to mid 20's as this is the prime period for her physicality and fertility. It is the period in which her body is best capable of conceiving and successfully carrying a pregnancy to term, as well as being the time in which she is (generally) at her most physically attractive. The natural male response is to subconsciously pick up on these bio-evolutionary cues that associate youth and physicality with fertility and sexuality. This is precisely why feminine beauty is associated with youth, not because these 'horrible' men made it so, but because our natural biology does.

The unfortunate fact is that, as women age, their sexual marketability declines, while as a man ages, his sexual marketability increases. Indications of age in men are (generally) seen as attractive (for long term mating schedules) by women as these are precursors and cues for a better capacity for parental provisioning. That's not to discount the appeal of youth in men for women, however this appeal is particularly reserved for short term mating and securing 'good genes' for thier offspring.

The popularized idealization that "women's sexual peak" is realized later in her life is just one of many social contrivances with the latent function of putting older women, not having secured a long term mate, on a more equal field of competition with young women better able to hold the attention of men. It's a kind of "you guys don't know what you're missing" appeal to what they know motivates men - sex. They know they're at a disadvantage and rather than overtly accept this unfortunate reality, they resort to covert counter-psychology. The idea that men ought to date women their own age is another contrivance - based this time on shame - that attempts to thwart our biological predispositions and put older women, at least somewhat, on better footing to compete with their genetic superiors.

I should also add that this myth originally had a biological basis. A woman's sex drive peaks in her 20's and progressively declines into her 40's, however as a woman approaches menapause and the last of her eggs are dropping, this triggers an increase in hormone levels that prompts sexual activity and libido. It's a woman's body initiating a last effort to breed before she becomes unable to physically do so. While this is an interesting, not to mention efficient, process, it is usually only a temporary state that naturally last until the onset of menapause. This is where this myth began.

This is a CLASSIC and very ACCURATE.

 

[picard]

women nowadays are just deluding themselves thinking that they can have children after 40. It is rare for women to have kids beyond 40. They will pay the price for infertility at later time. Let them learn the lesson by themselves. They turn down many men because they think the men aren't perfect.

 

[Miss]

Agree w/Wyldfire

Rollo...the "sexual peak" you often hear people mention is referring to a woman's sexual DESIRE, not when she is most fertile. As a woman who has experienced both my 20's and 30's I can tell you that it is 100% true that a woman has a much stronger desire for sex in her 30's than she does in her 20's. As for fertility...my 6 year old was born when I was 34. I recently was screened for cervical cancer and my hormone levels were checked. I'm 40 now...and absolutely no change in my hormone levels from the time I was in my 20's. I am still fertile, although I have absolutely no interest or desire to have anymore children...I'm fully capable of having them.

Sure, a lot of men prefer younger women...but let's keep it real, shall we? Just because some men would rather be with a younger woman it doesn't mean that older women are in any way broken or unable to have children once they hit 30. Most women have another good 15 years of fertility ahead of them, and although the risks of having a problem during pregnancy is slighty higher, there are tests that can identify any problems in time for an abortion if that is what the couple prefers.

Totally agree, I've never had higher desire than these past few years. I have had countless conversations with my friends (women) about the same thing. They all agree. Thanks for distinguishing the fertility/desire issues, Wyldfire.

 

[billhouseman]

Women over a certain age are definately sexy, curvy and have a special sass to them. (probably around 35 or so). Yet beware as women quickly go downhill. It will not be long before they are obsessed with trying to have a child.

Worst of all, for like 90% of women there is a huge dropoff. They'll be hot, then one day it will just happen. They'll lose it and become old women. Perfect example: Nicolette Sheriden on Desperate Housewives. She was practically perfect at 26. She wasn't too bad the first season. But now? She looks old and merely average at best. Ditto for Teri Hatcher. She looked pretty good about 10-15 years ago in Superman. Now she is ugly as hell. Sorry but she ain't that great looking.


And BTW, Sophia Loren is NOT HOT. She's freakin 74. Imagine what she looks like down there. Sorry. You lose.

 

[Friendly Otter]

True, billhouseman. Being in my late 20s I have reached the age where girls suddenly go downhill fast. Just like 16-18 meant rapid development, so does 26-28 mean rapid deterioration for many. What a shocker it is.

In this age you can really tell the difference between those who have been taking care of their skin and those who haven't. Too many sun tans and unhealthy products will make their skin look like leather. I am very much in favor of women tanning less. The sun is not mild on people these days.

 

[legolas]

I've seen some women in their 30s and since they do take care of themselves they are still so hot that I wouldn't compare any 20-something to her. The truth is that many women don't do as many outdoors activities as they should. Many girls in their 20s consider going to the club an outdoor activity.

 

[Latinoman]

I've seen some women in their 30s and since they do take care of themselves they are still so hot that I wouldn't compare any 20-something to her. The truth is that many women don't do as many outdoors activities as they should. Many girls in their 20s consider going to the club an outdoor activity.

The problem with women in their 30s is the DRAMA and BITTERNESS toward men or toward younger women (20s). Add the baggage factor and Bling-Bling: "Houston we have a problem".

 

[Permission]

Young is good. Especially those who take care of themself.