Without sex, men and women have very little in common...

[ThisIsSparta]

Advice from the old lady:

I *just* got off a flight home.

My seat mate was a tall, fit, muscular (think wide receiver) build who was wearing a custom suit, was handsome, and wealthy. He was flying here to join his wife of almost 30 years for a gala & charity event. He has 2 daughters, one a 26 year old investment banker, the other a 17 year old high school senior next year who is an intern at his property and investment company. The younger daughter wants to learn dads business and take the reins at the firm in a number of years. He and his wife play racquet sports, they love pickle ball. They work out or play together 6 times a week.

She is a mergers & acquisitions specialist at Merrill Lynch.

Think they have nothing to talk about? Think again.

You guys who think in this black & white one dimensional way are yourselves too black & white. To one dimensional.

I mean what if you have a best friend and intellect that you find stimulating and oh by the way she is fit and beautiful and you can enjoy sex together too?

That’s exactly what this man on the plane is married to. That’s exactly why my fiancé chose me too.

But the happy successful long term men are not well represented here. Why would they be? Men like my fiancé and like my seat mate today don’t need to be here.

But I assure you these men exist. And they are sophisticated and nuanced in how they relate to the world. Not black & white one dimensional thinking.

We had a mentally stimulating conversation about finance, real estate, economic prognostication going on in the media and personal interests.

Until some of you guys develop into better people the top women will not see you. It’s not about being jacked. It’s about being a man fulfilling his potential in a well rounded way.

Top women won’t give you the time of day otherwise.

I guess i am not very much out of line when i say..... men dont care!

Mens definition of a "top woman" might differ quite dramatically from what you perceive as "top woman".

She can be a hairdresser, working 20 hours a week while the kids are at school. WE..... DO NOT ...... CARE!

You have to know, the overwhelming majority of men are quite a lot quite easier to make happy then the overwhelming majority of women. I´d go so far as saying you have no clue about how little men really need to have happy lifes.

And thats why we dont care about womens careers, their money and a lot of other things you think of as important to men.

In fact, "careers and money" are more often then not getting in the way of being a "top woman" to men.


The real "top woman":

*is in her twenties
*comes without kids
*is fertile
*hot enough
*compliant and pleasant
*takes good care of the home
*has motherly qualities
*takes good care of her mans sexual needs
*has an (however modest it may be) income she is working for in a reputable proffession

Done!

 

[Barrister]

Men like my fiancé and like my seat mate today don’t need to be here.

@BeExcellent

A lot of us don't necessarily *need* to be here but we enjoy being here and discussing women with other men. There aren't many spots like this on the internet these days. And if some men do need to be here to attain success with women, why is that an indictment on them? I can say at one point I needed this place in order to fully understand women and what was happening in my relationships. You and I have even had conversations in the past and I greatly respect your take on things - which is very rare for me when it comes to women. And to be clear, being here keeps me sharp by discussing these things with the other men.

I think your comment is misplaced though because it seems to suggest that your fiancee, this "seat mate," and other men like them are above everyone here since they don't "need to be here." That is a very blanket assumption, and is also a bit odd considering you yourself, as a woman no less, are a long time poster here.

 

[SargeMaximus]

When ever money and my investments come up in convo, women put me in the friend zone every time. It’s actually something I’m working to avoid talking about somehow.

they literally
Go from talking raunchy and what kind of crazy sex they are down with me to “let’s take things slow”

 

[The Duke]

Advice from the old lady:

I *just* got off a flight home.

My seat mate was a tall, fit, muscular (think wide receiver) build who was wearing a custom suit, was handsome, and wealthy. He was flying here to join his wife of almost 30 years for a gala & charity event. He has 2 daughters, one a 26 year old investment banker, the other a 17 year old high school senior next year who is an intern at his property and investment company. The younger daughter wants to learn dads business and take the reins at the firm in a number of years. He and his wife play racquet sports, they love pickle ball. They work out or play together 6 times a week.

She is a mergers & acquisitions specialist at Merrill Lynch.

Think they have nothing to talk about? Think again.

You guys who think in this black & white one dimensional way are yourselves too black & white. To one dimensional.

I mean what if you have a best friend and intellect that you find stimulating and oh by the way she is fit and beautiful and you can enjoy sex together too?

That’s exactly what this man on the plane is married to. That’s exactly why my fiancé chose me too.

But the happy successful long term men are not well represented here. Why would they be? Men like my fiancé and like my seat mate today don’t need to be here.

But I assure you these men exist. And they are sophisticated and nuanced in how they relate to the world. Not black & white one dimensional thinking.

We had a mentally stimulating conversation about finance, real estate, economic prognostication going on in the media and personal interests.

Until some of you guys develop into better people the top women will not see you. It’s not about being jacked. It’s about being a man fulfilling his potential in a well rounded way.

Top women won’t give you the time of day otherwise.

I rarely feel the need to call you out but I do now. You need to step back on this one. Everything the boys have told you above is true.

This is what YOU want, not what the typical guy wants from a woman. You aren't blowing smoke up any of our asses. Relationships like you described aren't great. Its all a smoke show. And I promise you, if myself and Mr. Tall, Fit, Handsome, and Wealthy that doesn't need to be here had a conversation on that airplane it would have been much different.

Your arrogance gets the best of you. So much of what you talk about is looks and money which will never fill that void in your heart.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Adding to @The Duke ’s post above:

Usually, men are drawn to physical attractiveness, fitness, how good talker a woman is, if she's easy to get along with, and her openness to a sexual relationship.

Now, here's where some women might get it mixed up. They often think guys are attracted to the same things they are. So, they might talk up their job, how much money they make, or how many degrees they've got. Sure, some guys might think that's cool, but those things don't usually make or break the deal.

Take a woman's job, for example. Most guys aren't too fussed about what a woman does for a living—unless it crosses their boundaries, like sex work. And a woman's financial status? It's usually seen as a nice perk, not a must-have. The same goes for education. An extra degree might make for great conversation, but it's not typically a big draw in and of itself.

Sometimes, women who work in fields where there are lots of guys can get a bit mixed up about what men find attractive. They respect, and like the guys they work with, so they think men must be attracted to the same qualities in them. But while these things are admirable, they don't necessarily make a woman more attractive to men.

 

[2rings]

I hear what you are saying about sexual relations, but i think your point of view is kind of crazy

Maybe lay off the dating apps a while

I chat with women that share about their lives and interests, they make just as good of colleagues in life if you ask me

Women are awesome, they are resourceful and everything about them keeps me guessing and on my toes. They can be brutal as hell too

If I were stranded on a deserted island and it was just all you guys and no hope of being rescued, I would easily off myself. I would be cool with that

I’d be cool with being stranded on a deserted island with just me and a thousand women too. Man that would rock

 

[BeExcellent]

Look guys. I agree. I know @The Duke and @Barrister and @Pierce.Manhammer are all actually successful with women in real life. Very successful in fact. I respect that and I respect their voices here as well as many other voices.

Agree @Barrister and thank you. We’ve had in depth conversations and I greatly respect your perspective and the journey it took to gain said perspective.

I too have had to adjust my perspective over my life, especially in my 20s. Appearances frankly were never emphasized in my home growing up. Manners, intelligence, ambition, work ethic, politeness and above all, character. So imagine finding out that the desirable men in fact did NOT care about those things until much later in a dating situation. Add to that I also had no idea I was beautiful because that was under emphasized and thus under appreciated as important in my home as a girl. So I was naive and innocent into my 20s. My sorority sisters took pity on me and got me up to speed and I learned well how important beauty is to men. I am grateful for my looks and take care to maintain that.

I’m here because it is important to me to promote manhood (the value of which is underrated out there in the whole world.). Every corner of society needs more “real men”. Women need “real men”.

There are fewer and fewer examples around of “real men” and few places being a real man is encouraged or promoted.

Honestly this place IS an echo chamber at times. Even some of the seasoned members pick up the “All women are this….” and “All women are that…” sentiment at times.

My content over my years here consistently reflects Who. I. Am. Nothing more & nothing less. Do I get tomatoes at times? Sure. I get it. Even in this post Billy is posting senior citizens playing pickle ball. That’s not at all my physical reality, but that’s Ok. I don’t expect young men in their 20s or 30s to understand that a woman can still be sexy rather than frumpy later in life. That’s a matter of perspective. So too is what an individual man values for his own life. In his post above @ThisIsSparta provides his list in the thread…but that isn’t a universally applicable list.

There is no void in my heart Duke. I am happy with myself, content and fulfilled in my life. The anecdotes I relate are true. Why wouldn’t they be?

I’m not sure why this (rather innocuous in my view) observation of a successful man in a successful marriage tweaks y’all.

Many guys here actually do want that kind of life at the end of the day. And yes, so do I. But I’m on that path already and have no complaints. I love my man, think he’s hot and sexy and smart etc….and he thinks those things about me. He loves me too, and was smitten at first sight.

Obviously looks are extremely important for a woman to retain attractiveness. That is partly genetics and partly lifestyle choices, and it requires effort as you age. No question.

Positive people with great energy attract others. Law of Attraction at work. But the same is true of negative energy. It repels people.

This is a male space. I know that, respect that and am not here to tarnish that or erode it. But sometimes even those with great life experience are influenced by jadedness. It seeps into one’s value system.

As @AtomSmasher has always said, the gems are out there. He married one recently and in his contentment has receded from SS, like @Colossus and others before him and since him. As I have said many times great and happy marriages do exist. But you know what? My first marriage failed. You guys have had failed marriages and failed relationships and so have I. But I retain the view that what I desire in life exists and I know I am worthy of it and willing to do my level best to find a great partner and to BE a great partner.

So I remain positive in my outlook and confident that I will attract and obtain the life I want. It’s an evolution. I’m already intrinsically happy in or out of a relationship. That vibrational energy oozes from me and attracts men and people at large. But I’m still growing as a human being. That’s a process of course.

Each of us must stand and look at the mirror and figure out what could have been different or better and each one of us must own our “stuff”. Me included.

When I met that man yesterday on the plane I see it as confirmation that what I would like does in fact exist and I see that as a positive thing. For me & for you guys too.

When you carry a negative filter you see things in a negative way. The experience for me was positive and inspiring. Those guys do exist. It’s not some mythical thing like this place makes it out to be.

But if you say something is a myth it does protect one’s belief system.

Food for thought.

 

[BadBoy89]

Think they have nothing to talk about? Think again.

You guys who think in this black & white one dimensional way are yourselves too black & white. To one dimensional.

I mean what if you have a best friend and intellect that you find stimulating and oh by the way she is fit and beautiful and you can enjoy sex together too?

You are confusing the issues.

The intellectual conversation with a woman and the sex with a woman are not related for a man. They have nothing to do with each other. A man will have sex with any hot young woman no matter how he feels about her.

Let us put it to you this way: If Margot Robbie ran over a man‘s mother and wanted to have sex with him, he would have to dial 911 in the nude because his pants would already be off.

Not saying a man can’t have both, but a man would rather take sex with a hot 23 year old that he hates, rather than sex with a 43 year old he connects with intellectually. A man‘s arousal has NOTHING to do with what the woman has accomplished, his arousal has to do with how much ESTROGEN and good GENES the woman has.

 

[BeExcellent]

Not at all.

All I’m saying @BadBoy89 is that given a choice between Margot Robbie with a brain & pleasant personality and Margot Robbie without a brain or pleasant personality the first option is what high value men will pick every single time.

The high value men get to chose from various versions of beautiful women because they are in the realm of consistently attracting beautiful women. So beauty is a given and the other attributes separate the wheat from the chaff.

I agree if a guy cannot attract beautiful women who are also quality people, then men will often select for hotness above all else from among the women that will agree to sleep with them. That is until they get burned one or a few too many times.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

All I’m saying @BadBoy89 is that given a choice between Margot Robbie with a brain & pleasant personality and Margot Robbie without a brain or pleasant personality the first option is what high value men will pick every single time.

The high value men get to chose from various versions of beautiful women because they are in the realm of consistently attracting beautiful women. So beauty is a given and the other attributes separate the wheat from the chaff.

How do you have any idea what a man will do?

 

[Murk]

@BeExcellent I think people are taking issue because you're pedastalising this plane guy (that's obviously too good for this forum) and making us seem like degenerate inbred hillbillys. While that's true for me, I'm sure we have a plethora of high-flying big shots on here.

Also, I'm pretty sure none of us NEED to be here, initially it did have some value add to my relationships and life situations. These days, I find SS entertaining and little else, the user base is more toxic, people are faking and lying, nobody is saying anything I don't already know, 80% here are definitely basement dwellers.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

No matter the forum, no matter the topic but somewhere somehow a woman will find a way to get attention while contributing with nothing but drama.

You know what, given the same girl in terms of looks, personality and compatibility I would rather have her belonging to the middle class than being a top executive somewhere funny.

The last thing I need in a relationship is being under trial even when I get home, I need even less being sucked into jet set social events to accompany her while I would appreciate an evening at the commercial gym and then at the cinema.

No woman ever would pick a high school teacher over a tesla executive.

 

[Murk]

No woman ever would pick a high school teacher over a tesla executive.

They would if the teacher was handsome, 6'4 and ripped vs the fat bald ugly exec.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

They would if the teacher was handsome, 6'4 and ripped vs the fat bald ugly exec.

I mean of course given the same in terms of looks, personality and compatibility.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

In his post above @ThisIsSparta provides his list in the thread…but that isn’t a universally applicable list.

And yet, you tell us quite explicit what a "top woman" is, what a "top woman" is looking for and whom she will not give the time of the day.

You also seem to have an universaly applicable knowledge of what makes the universality of men happy and successful.

AND you are quite sure that most gentlemen here do not have what it takes to procure a "top woman", that they need to become "better people".

Oh and of course, by now we all know 3 times you are beautiful and a "top woman" by universaly applicable standards, coveted by many, deserved by few!

Food for thought

PS: You might also question your limited insight on why men are on SS.........

 

[Murk]

I mean of course given the same in terms of looks, personality and compatibility.

If they are otherwise identical, it's a no brainer to go for added money

 

[BeExcellent]

How do you have any idea what a man will do?

Because men expressly have told me this more times than I can count over many years. Due to my experience in the nightlife industry as the wife of a club owner for example, I’ve had myriad conversations with men about what they are looking for. That is true here too. Nightlife is a laboratory of human mating behavior. As an extension high end restaurants are similar but with a higher caliber clientele as a general rule. You get to chatting and find out all sorts of things.

 

[BeExcellent]

And yet, you tell us quite explicit what a "top woman" is, what a "top woman" is looking for and whom she will not give the time of the day.

You also seem to have an universaly applicable knowledge of what makes the universality of men happy and successful.

AND you are quite sure that most gentlemen here do not have what it takes to procure a "top woman", that they need to become "better people".

Oh and of course, by now we all know 3 times you are beautiful and a "top woman" by universaly applicable standards, coveted by many, deserved by few!

Food for thought

PS: You might also question your limited insight on why men are on SS.........

Look. You are who you associate with. All my life I have associated with desirable people, educated people, ambitious people, successful people. I don’t know druggies and strippers and escorts personally for example as close or tenured friends, but I do know men who have been involved with all the above at one point or another in their relationship history, however short or long that interaction may have been.

I’ve had the occasional renter who was not a quality person (the occasional eviction secondary to drug issues for example, or failure to pay rent, which is what financially irresponsible people do)….

The vast majority of my long tenured female friends for example, are in first marriages that have lasted decades already at this point and are still going strong.

The guy on the plane is similar to long term marrieds within my own social network. People like that aren’t here. They don’t go seeking out places like this because they don’t need to.

But that’s not true for everyone.

One of my best gfs divorced her ex husband due to his worsening alcoholism for example (he was a heavy drinker when they married but they met in college and he never left that habit behind)…after their marriage counselor advised them for the nth that as long as he’s drinking and refusing to address that problem there is no viable solution to save the marriage.

One of my closest guy friends found out after years into his marriage that his wife was using heroin, had been abused by her own father sexually since age 12, and he had no idea for years.

So yeah. I hear the war stories from both men and women and I know that people hide things and that not every marriage goes as expected, my first one certainly did not, for example.

I go by content around here. If you read a contributor’s content you learn quite a bit about that person, how they think and what they value. You get to “know” them.

And if the content is consistent? It’s true. Nobody, especially 1000s of posts in, can keep up a facade over many years. That would be exhausting. Y’all can think whatever you like about me personally, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that my content is consistent, my back story is consistent, my perspective is consistent and the way I handle the occasional pokes & prods around here is consistent.

I appreciate your comment @Murk and I think it’s true. But my observation was not meant as a slight.

Doesn’t matter how you get there (to being your best self). Some have smooth paths, some don’t. There is an element of chance in relationships and some people learn to filter better than others or earlier in life. But that doesn’t mean just throw in the towel and give up.

Lots of men flow through SS, learn from the community here and from the cache of information here and successfully apply it in their own lives.

And they fade or recede in many cases.

But those who stay around truly seeking to improve their lives often have an observable trajectory in a positive direction. Whatever that means for an individual man. I think that is meaningful.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Look. You are who you associate with. All my life I have associated with desirable people, educated people, ambitious people, successful people. I don’t know druggies and strippers and escorts personally for example as close or tenured friends, but I do know men who have been involved with all the above at one point or another in their relationship history, however short or long that interaction may have been.

I’ve had the occasional renter who was not a quality person (the occasional eviction secondary to drug issues for example, or failure to pay rent, which is what financially irresponsible people do)….

The vast majority of my long tenured female friends for example, are in first marriages that have lasted decades already at this point and are still going strong.

The guy on the plane is similar to long term marrieds within my own social network. People like that aren’t here. They don’t go seeking out places like this because they don’t need to.

But that’s not true for everyone.

One of my best gfs divorced her ex husband due to his worsening alcoholism for example (he was a heavy drinker when they married but they met in college and he never left that habit behind)…after their marriage counselor advised them for the nth that as long as he’s drinking and refusing to address that problem there is no viable solution to save the marriage.

One of my closest guy friends found out after years into his marriage that his wife was using heroin, had been abused by her own father sexually since age 12, and he had no idea for years.

So yeah. I hear the war stories from both men and women and I know that people hide things and that not every marriage goes as expected, my first one certainly did not, for example.

I go by content around here. If you read a contributor’s content you learn quite a bit about that person, how they think and what they value. You get to “know” them.

And if the content is consistent? It’s true. Nobody, especially 1000s of posts in, can keep up a facade over many years. That would be exhausting. Y’all can think whatever you like about me personally, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that my content is consistent, my back story is consistent, my perspective is consistent and the way I handle the occasional pokes & prods around here is consistent.

I appreciate your comment @Murk and I think it’s true. But my observation was not meant as a slight.

Doesn’t matter how you get there (to being your best self). Some have smooth paths, some don’t. There is an element of chance in relationships and some people learn to filter better than others or earlier in life. But that doesn’t mean just throw in the towel and give up.

Lots of men flow through SS, learn from the community here and from the cache of information here and successfully apply it in their own lives.

And they fade or recede in many cases.

But those who stay around truly seeking to improve their lives often have an observable trajectory in a positive direction. Whatever that means for an individual man. I think that is meaningful.

People have different definitions of what their "best self" is. Obv., your definition will differ from others. For the sake of disclosure, I'm borne of the world you incessantly describe and it's overblown as phuck. The vast majority of its denizens are fake and lame midwits.

You do you, and let others do themselves. We can be successful with women to our satisfaction without submitting ourselves to your proclivities and standards. Thank you.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I enjoy the company of women.