Wife screws our only vacation in years with cheating

[KarmaSutra]

I turned that sh!t off long ago.

Green dots do not dictate who I am as a man in real life, nor does it reflect how I care about my brethren here.

I push people who follow me away. I don't want disciples, students, or guys in tow. My self worth comes from seeing other men take my lead by helping another brother in the real world.

Keep rockin' Brother Zep.

 

[NoCommitments]

First I wanna commend you for your courage & honesty telling us this personal story.

Here's what I wld do

In a relaxed tone reassure her that you completely love her & understand her pain. Tell her how strong & couragious u think she is for confessing. Make her feel warm & fuzzy

THEN...

Tell her you want time apart to work all of this out both emotionally & logically.Make her leave! Not you. She will cry, beg for forgiveness etc...reassure her again that u understsnd & feel her pain. & love her. BUT SHE HAS TO LEAVE!

However u decide to handle this is up to you, but never forget that YOURE the Man! Always ACT LIKE ONE!

 

[56andre]

Ok man, if you really were reading advice on sosuave like you said, you shouldn’t be in this sh1t in the first place

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

1) There's a lot of misogynism on this board...a lot of posters will tell you to just leave this chick..but I'm not so sure it's really her fault anyways. I think it was probably a combined effort...you cannot place all the blame on her and say "she's a stupid bltch" I need to move on.

"Combined effort?" No, clearly the woman is 100% the victim, her emotional mind not being stimulated enough by her man and being driven to another man's arm. Shame on Enzo! SHAAAMEE!

Good lord. If even on this site, women are not held accountable, we're so fvcked.

 

[L B]

Trust is gone. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Unfortunately in this country, leave the marriage and you are fukked (bread winner).

Plan your escape. I wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't already. Go frequent a divorce/finance forum and seek advice there. Plan your steps to leave without doing much financial harm to yourself. Don't let the system rape you for doing the right thing. Don't be weak and stick to the plan.

Be sure to return the favor once the divorce is done. Make his and her life hell. Be resourceful.

 

[ProDJ26]

Sh!t like this is the reason why

1) I DONT WANNA EVER GET MARRIED

2) I DONT REALLY WANNA BE EXCLUSIVE

Stuff like this pisses me off. You put soo much into a relationship for soo long only to have it stripped away from you? the Fvck?!!

 

[terran2k]

they've already had sex, the fact she was feeling guilty on your little trip. It was because she was cheating on him with YOU. aint that a b!tch. Your best bet is to leave and end the marriage.

 

[Rubirosa]

Like others have said, you are VERY lucky you don't have kids with this woman. You can leave cleanly. You probably want to save the marriage in order to save your ego. You want your wife to choose you over this other guy. You want to win her back.
The more you try to save your marriage, the more desperate you will look. The more desperate you look, the more unattractive you will be to her anyway. Leave. It's not your responsibility to fix this mess.
Go to court and get a motion for a legal separation. The longer you stay legally married to this b#tch, the more alimony she gets. Filing for legal separation should put a monetary halt to your marriage.
Go to court and then the next time you see her, casually say "I went to see a lawyer today !" Show her the document.
This happens too much: A guy works his ass off only to lose his wife because she felt "bored", "unloved", "unappreciated". Never mind that the guy was working his ass off for a better life for both of them.
You will be amazed, simply amazed, at how women take their wife "duty" lightly, until it's time for them to get their money from their marriage. At that time, they become "100% your wife", because the wife, not the girlfriend, gets the divorce money.
I hate to say this bro, but she doesn't love you. You are in pain, and it's going to sting for a while. You have friends here that are giving their heartfelt advice. Your inner voice is saying that your situation's different. That this marriage can be saved. Your wife had the chance to save it before it came down to you writing your story here. She didn't.
This is an opportunity for you that is diguising itself as something negative. You only live once. Do you want to be with her ten years from now, with this crap still tormenting you ? Or do you want to be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself ?

 

[Rubirosa]

Think of your life as a Boxing match. Get out of this marriage now, you've only lost a round. Stay in this marriage, you'll lose the whole damn fight.

 

[typical]

Think of your life as a Boxing match. Get out of this marriage now, you've only lost a round. Stay in this marriage, you'll lose the whole damn fight.

Once a Cheat Always a Cheat. End of Story. No buts or What ifs. She can't handle you because your life was getting hard and needs another mans co(k to feel good means she has low integrity and is of no value to you as a person.

Now here is what you do, you open up a new bank account with a different name perhaps in a different state or country (will take planning). Sell off minor assets and save the money in that account. Pretend to "try and save the marriage" and in the end divorce and go seperate ways. After the divorce cut all ties. Hit the reboot button on your life.

You can do better then this woman. Be happy you don't have any kids to her or else your life would be hell after marriage.

Just think about it mate, you want to live the rest of your life with a woman that cheated on you to get some attention ??? Thats plain messed up, life is hard it takes both people in a relationship to make it work not just one.

If the shoe was on the other foot do you think for one minute she would forgive and forget ?? No you would hear about your cheating for the rest of your life. Do yourself a favour and ditch the bit(h.

And can all the girly guys please stop giving advice your posts read like something my 16 year old cousin would tell her girlfriends, you guys have no clue.

 

[magickarl]

Are you happy?

I'm thinking not, because if you were you wouldn't have made this thread. When a dog bites it's owner, you put it down. My advice to you is to start over. Tell her that it's you who needs some "time away."

Divorce her, and whatever you do don't even dream of giving this woman your genetic material. It's a tough pill to swallow, but start thinking about this like a game of chess instead of checkers. Kids equal child support down the road. Depending on the judge you draw, you could (likely) end up supporting children you will never see.

Am I being mysoginistic? Could be. But then, I've watched this happen a hundred times. Boards like this are littered with stories just like yours. What makes you unique is that you have a chance to get while the gettings good.
Don't blow that chance.

Give her half, then give her nothing. Not a word ever again for as long as you both shall live.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Time to get down to brass tacks here; your wife no longer has any genuine desire for you. Her desire is for the new guy and her decision's been made. Her playing nice and then going b!tch IS the message you're not getting here.

Most guys (i.e. chumps) in this situation are constantly seeking confirmation of their suspicions. They play detective, they hack email accounts, they read diaries, they check texts and cell phone logs, all in a long drawn out effort to confirm what they already know; her desire is for another guy. Truth be told, when a relationship reaches this stage, the woman WANTS to be discovered. After she's come to a point where her genuine desire is not for her husband, and she's ƒucked the new guy, the only real resolution is to break it to her soon-to-be ex. It's far easier, emotionally, to be discovered than it is to confront her husband face-to-face.

The operative in any case of infidelity is always desire. It's not about rebuilding trust or any of that Dr. Phil touchy-feely crap. The fact is her genuine desire is to ƒuck the new guy, not you. She may still ƒuck you out of a sense of obligation, but even if you go to 'couples counseling' and promise each other to "work out your issues", but you're only negotiating the terms of her having sex with you. The 800 pound gorilla that will never go away is that you will NEVER again be her first priority when it comes to desire. You may be married for 30 years, but there will always be that one time when she ƒucked that other guy, and everything you think you've built with her over the years will always be compromised by that doubt of her desire. Every time she squeezes her eyes shut when she comes you'll think "I wonder if she's fantasizing about that guy."

 

[backbreaker]

Think of your life as a Boxing match. Get out of this marriage now, you've only lost a round. Stay in this marriage, you'll lose the whole damn fight.

holy **** this quote is money.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I have one question.

Why would you want to be married to a cheater?

Trust me it's easier to leave her now then later when she does more sh*t

 

[cablecow15]

Sorry for the situation dude...all I can say is this:

1) There's a lot of misogynism on this board...a lot of posters will tell you to just leave this chick..but I'm not so sure it's really her fault anyways. I think it was probably a combined effort...you cannot place all the blame on her and say "she's a stupid bltch" I need to move on.

2) If this is going to work you HAVE to trust her again. You cannot be lurking at every step of the way to make sure she's staying "par for the course". That's like hounding your child for not drinking alcohol...when low and behold they go off to college and become a huge sloot and drink like maniacs. Point being...no relationship will ever be healthy if you feel like you have to monitor it. I'm not saying stay with her and I'm definitely not saying end it...I think these have to be considered on a case by case basis.

If she truly wants to work through the relationship...than you have to come to grips with the fact that you have to trust her...if, of course, that is what you want you as well.

lol its funny how this is always a combined effort when the girls go rogue
but when i guy does it its all his fault , he my not have kept here happy , but when your married , you dont just go lusting after other people , you say something , with women are horrible at , so its her fault , she saw this coming but she kept her mouth shut because that's the stupid woman nature,
let sh!t turn into drama

 

[enzoferrari]

Guys, thanks again. There's a lot of good advice here and I'm taking a good look at my life now to see what to do. Also, I gave two reasons on why I didn't want a divorce. Today I saw one quote that verbalized my state of mind:

Because she cheated with a beta for emotional reasons, I think staying is MORE of an option than if she cheated because she is not sexually attracted to you, like if she cheated with an alpha.

On one side, we have a six years story of trust. We had gone through some rough sh!t. We stayed together no matter what. And according to friends of mine who works with her, nothing really happened. She's being a really good wife, as good as before the new job, trying to please me in every way.

On the other side, the trust was broken on a moment that it was *really* needed. Though job, stressed out, low self-steem of my part. I remember saying to her that I would need help to handle this mess. And that's what she did. Also, I now take everything - and I mean everything - she says with a grain of salt. I really don't trust her as I trusted before anymore, and this is corroding me inside.

Divorce would ruin me, staying could kill my soul. Great place to be, I'll tell you.

 

[everywomanshero]

I think you need to chill out. First of all, even is she got some on the side it's not a big deal. People have sex and whatever all the time and if you're that easily threatened, then you need to go get some yourself lol Second dating someone perfect would be suffocating because you'd feel like you had to be perfect, too. Be glad she's not perfect. Everytime you get really ticked thinking about the other guy whipping out his pork sword on her, channel that anger into hot, dirty sex with her. Tell her she's a hot lil slot...

Throw her on the kitchen tablle and use a vibe on her while you give her some sausage. Tell her she got booty.

 

[search1ng]

Dear Original Poster,

First of all, I'm sorry you had to go through all this. Some of it was most definitely your fault, you should not have let things get to this point in the first place, but this woman is not someone you should be wasting further time with.

6 years is a long time. To 'fall in love with someone else' after being married to someone for 6 years is inexcusable.

Cut your losses and move on, there are better women out there, women that are worth the time and will not play these games. She sounds like she does not know what she wants in life. That is not your problem.

You're the one in control, work towards your dream and allow time only for the woman that helps you reach that goal.

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

Bad news: insalvagable.

Good news: Starter marriage. Divorce certainly won't ruin you. You are lucky no kids involved you can walk away and never see her again. Given the situation, drive her insane, get her to leave and have her sign the paper work providing you with most of your assets intact.

 

[909pua]

dump her @$$ once a cheat always a cheat