Wife screws our only vacation in years with cheating

[enzoferrari]

If a man makes the commitment of being with only one woman for the rest of his life, this commitment should be rewarding.

A million times this, and one thing every single man should have in mind when hookin up with a girl. She must be a source of pleasure, not pain. What good is a wife, or a girlfriend, or even a friend, if they cause you to suffer and to feel ****ty about yourself? I understand that sometimes people sail through rough times, and as a partner is our duty to help if necessary. But if this thing starts to be destructive for one side, and fortifying for the other side, things are way wrong.

Looking back, I can say I understand that better now. I was the one always giving, and almost never receiving. When she got sick, I was there to buy medicine and watch her sleep. When I was sick, she got annoyed with me coughing. On the moments I wanted to give up, it was my girl friend who cheered me up, while she complained about my weakness.

You know what? Fvck that. I want my mind back.

Also, thanks again for every answer, and sorry if I didn't replied to everyone. Be assured that I read and took into consideration every single word written. Thanks again.

 

[enzoferrari]

About therapy: been there, done that. For about four years. You know what? Roissy's site and this forum did more for my manhood than that, because I stopped feeling sorry for myself, to see myself as a victim, and to be a man (thanks, pook!). The changes those made in my life are astonishing, even though I'm still far away from alphahood. At least I got my self respect back, and started to live life without excuses.

Sure, my marriage is a train wreck. But I can see that outside it I have a beautiful life. One that I still doesnt fully comprehend. Even my wife noticed it, and looking back there were some actions she took to avoid me to fully embrace it.

Fvck, I'm getting angry again.

 

[EA Gold]

Again, your the captain of the ship. That's the role you sign up for with when you got married, like it or not. If the ship goes down its completely your fault. It's not the storms or the crew or anythings else.. Its you!

 

[Rubirosa]

Looking back, I can say I understand that better now. I was the one always giving, and almost never receiving. When she got sick, I was there to buy medicine and watch her sleep. When I was sick, she got annoyed with me coughing.

I had basically the exact same experience when I was sick during my marriage bro.
Look, I'm going to tell you now that you're on the road out of this, but there's going to be times when your emotions will be like a ball in a pinball machine.....happy, sad, happy, sad.........
It's normal. Just keep yourself busy and productive. You'll be fine. I agree, reading the Book of Pook is better than any therapy (Hey, I can spell it now !)

 

[EA Gold]

Instead of hiding from your problems and trying force the issue, you have a great opportunity for a big win here and to turn things around for both of you. If you don't deal with the issues within you, what makes you think your next wife won't cheat on you or you ending up getting multiple divorces.

If you don't know what to do, then the best thing to do is to not do anything. First, you stop yourself from making bad decision. Second, you don't have to deal with correcting the affects of those bad decision you made when you didn't know what to do.

Before you do anything else, look at yourself in the mirror, your mind and heart and make a change.

 

[5string]

A million times this, and one thing every single man should have in mind when hookin up with a girl. She must be a source of pleasure, not pain. What good is a wife, or a girlfriend, or even a friend, if they cause you to suffer and to feel ****ty about yourself? I understand that sometimes people sail through rough times, and as a partner is our duty to help if necessary. But if this thing starts to be destructive for one side, and fortifying for the other side, things are way wrong.

Looking back, I can say I understand that better now. I was the one always giving, and almost never receiving. When she got sick, I was there to buy medicine and watch her sleep. When I was sick, she got annoyed with me coughing. On the moments I wanted to give up, it was my girl friend who cheered me up, while she complained about my weakness.

You know what? Fvck that. I want my mind back.

Also, thanks again for every answer, and sorry if I didn't replied to everyone. Be assured that I read and took into consideration every single word written. Thanks again.

Mr.ferrari

As long as she's around, she'll mindfuk you. I'd think if you got rid of her you would start to immediately feel better. You have been given alot of differing advice. Therapy vs no therapy, stay in or get out. Cheating is a dealbreaker to me. That being said:

I'd drop her like a sack of hammers.

 

[NeverFear]

Once a cheater always a cheater.


And most likely, HAS BEEN cheating continually.

Get a good attorney, and next time find a woman at church
who was raised by parents with high moral standards.

If you meet someone in a bar, you get what you pay for.

 

[flint]

Okay I just have a couple of thoughts.

1) This board is tailored more towards people in the game not marriage counseling, so not only are most guys here not married but they are inclined to have a different mentality about this sort of thing. In other words almost everyone here is going to say dump her because you need to think about who you're asking advice from.

2) You say this guy is beta, and you make him sound like he's a wimp or something. Maybe to you he looks like a wimp, but he has a fiance and he has apparently slept with your wife, or at least she is attracted to him so he must do something right. Don't underestimate this guy either.

3) You can't know for sure that your wife's schedule is going to be changed
around this guy. You don't work there, and she can say whatever the heck she wants without you knowing at work. For all you know they are working with each other every day based on their schedule.

4) On the other hand, she may not deserve a second chance, you may have a hard time letting it go, but one thing is for certain which you mentioned before, a divorce is going to cost you big time. And if you got a new better paying job you'll probably have to pay her alamony and all of that stuff. I mean I don't know what your relationship is like with your wife, so when you say that she has been honest and you care about her that can be true. But all I can say is even take all of that aside, you better be completely sure you need a divorce first because its gonna be expensive.


So overall, if this was your girlfriend of 6 years, I'd say dump her. Since its your wife and there is a huge cost associated with dumping her, I'd say try and work things out and if she ticks you off then you can cheat on her too if it helps you keep your sanity.

 

[Rubirosa]

Wrongggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Everytime I want to leave this board alone, someone writes something that compels me to retort................

READ THE THREAD: The OP apparently lives in a "Fault" state (as opposed to a No Fault state). An attorney advised him that if he can prove cheating, he doesn't get stuck with alimony

THE LONGER YOU ARE MARRIED TO SOMEONE, THE MORE ALIMONY YOU PAY !!!

READ the g#ddamn thread !!! The wife tells her HUSBAND that she's in love with SOMEONE ELSE. Before this, she with not a sympathetic caring woman (read about when he was sick).

So you're advice is that the husband should try and
work things out ? What for ? Why is this woman such a prize that the OP should try and compromise his life. For what end result ?

Why is it even on him to work things out ? Why should getting back with her be his responsibility ? She should be trying to get back with him (maybe she will if she can pull herself away from her new boyfriend).

The OP has a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY to get out now. There's no kids involved.

I'm going to say this again.
The wife is bi***y when she's with him, with another guy when she's not with him, and she's told the the man that pledged to be with her for the rest of his life that she loves another guy. Does this sound like a woman that deserves anything from this guy ? Well I guess if they stick it out, they can talk about the moment when she pledged her love for a man other than her husband on their 25th wedding anniversery (in front of the kids no doubt).

regarding your "observation" that this is a game site, not a marriage counseling site, the OP can start playing the game once he's gotten his manhood back by kicking this bi#ch to the curb.
I'm done.
OP PLeassse PM me if you start to listen to some of the "get back with her advice"

 

[ecko280]

^^ rep

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Well done for taking some positive steps by seeing the lawyer to assess your financial exposure, And to hire the private eye which may pay dividends.

Fact of the matter is, yes you neglected her with work, but SHE should have been behind you helping through the difficult time of starting a new job. Remember, you have a GOOD job (by the sounds of things), you are hitting the gym, and YOU have value there.

Your wife let you DOWN big time. And the fact she is still in touch with the co-worker is wrong; WHY put you through that if she really CARED? she would offer to QUIT HERSELF so she never see's him again, then you both might have had a chance.

Time to implement damage limitation. There are plenty more better women out there who will find you if you make yourself available in the right places.

PS = only 15k debt with a Ferrari; you are doing well :woo:

 

[enzoferrari]

All I can say is that divorce is on the way and I won't pay a dime. She is out of my house and I'm feeling like **** and lost, without knowing what to do now that I'm alone.

But I have one fun fact: I found out that a coworker (an 8) have a crush on me. We're very good friends, and even flirted a bit, but I never saw her as anything more than that. She doesnt know about my situation, but knows I'm married. Today she called to have lunch, and she told me over the phone, somewhat nervously, that she kinda have a boyfriend now. I laughed at the "kinda" and told her that's great, that she deserves a good man even though he could never be as good as me. We had a good laugh at this, and the lunch is set.

I have no intention of hitting on her, but it feels good to feel that I still have it.

 

[Rubirosa]

Awesome bro.
So it hurts a little because you're alone. I went through the EXACT same feelings when I first separated. You are in a transition period. In the future, you will look back on this and realize that you did the right thing because you stood up for yourself as a MAN. Don't go back to being a boy that's so scared of being alone that he puts up with a woman walking all over him. Move on and enjoy life.

 

[roflzaur]

Please, I need ideas on how to get a grip on this. I'm feeling like I'm falling apart.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. You have viable, solid grounds for a divorce.

 

[betheman]

...
I have no intention of hitting on her, but it feels good to feel that I still have it.

why not?

 

[speed dawg]

I'm guessing since enzoferrari hasn't posted in over a year since this incident, that he's back with this terrible hor and will come back to SoSuave once she cleans his clock once again.

 

[betheman]

Again, your the captain of the ship. That's the role you sign up for with when you got married, like it or not. If the ship goes down its completely your fault. It's not the storms or the crew or anythings else.. Its you!

What load of Bullsh!t ! you do realise that any woman seeing this would feel they have pretty much carte blanche to do what the hell they want?
I dont know which planet or even solar sytem you reside on/in, but marriage is a union, yes the man has the leading role, that also brings with it the decision to end the union if she proves worthless, and to get a better crew!

 

[Danton1975]

The problem with continuing on the same path is that you will never have her respect. Women don't respect a man who lets them cheat. Take the pain now and cut her loose instead of staying miserable for the next 20, 30 something years. Not that you have much of a future with her anyways.

This is what will happen if you stay...She will repeat her behavior again and again and again...only that it will get more brazen with each time...until in the end she will leave you. You can not keep or contain her any longer than you can keep or contain the wind.

A man cheating does not necessarily break the family. But a woman that cheats does.

 

[Down Low]

Hope OP is over the wh0re.

It's just plain abuse for her to fvck up a nice day out. Or come up with some fake sh1t to pick a fight about the next day after good sex to spoil the good feeling. My ex cluster B did that all the time. Just drop bombs and then snicker about it a half hour later. So damn funny -- I never cried tears, but a couple of those times I noticed that I did the deep inhale with a little choke, like you'd do if you had been sobbing. Man, you can't let that kind of emotional hurt go on. It's slow poison.

It's so fvcking selfish. They do it at the end of a relationship to squeeze out as many emotional ups and downs as they can. All the while they feel so flattered that you care enough to get mad.

The cvnt was also super abusive when I had a flu so I'd have to pack up stuff and carry it to the car and find someplace to stay (at bedtime can you believe that sh1t).

They do get more brazen. At the end, the ex cluster B got where she'd chat with men on the phone right in front of me.

She wasn't nearly creative or inventive enough to have come up with all the sh1t she did. Really, really sick for her to chat with other guys about how to fvck with her live-in man. And really low down for other guys to play her like that.

Cheating is backstabbing taken to a higher level. Makes perfect sense that the cheaters conspire about mind-fvcking the ones they're cheating on.

 

[Burroughs]

Hope OP is over the wh0re.

It's just plain abuse for her to fvck up a nice day out. Or come up with some fake sh1t to pick a fight about the next day after good sex to spoil the good feeling. My ex cluster B did that all the time. Just drop bombs and then snicker about it a half hour later. So damn funny -- I never cried tears, but a couple of those times I noticed that I did the deep inhale with a little choke, like you'd do if you had been sobbing. Man, you can't let that kind of emotional hurt go on. It's slow poison.

It's so fvcking selfish. They do it at the end of a relationship to squeeze out as many emotional ups and downs as they can. All the while they feel so flattered that you care enough to get mad.

historically women like this were beaten harshly then left out in the wilderness to starve

since both these solutions are forbidden to modern men the behavior of women has spun out of control

the ignorance of men is such that believe 'this is how women have always been' not realizing the harsh and effective measures our forefathers had at their disposal to keep women in line.

women must always remain the property of men or else women grow rudderless and confused...and society begins to decay.