Wife doing 180 to save marriage

[mrgoodstuff]

I hate say it, but simply cuddling is no 180

It was a crumb and a slap in the face.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It was a crumb and a slap in the face.

She aint too good to open her legs. Imagine if shes giving it up outside you. Treating him good. Kissing him. Holding him. Opening her body to him?

 

[Spaz]

When the advice provided (yours specifically) requires more work than I desire to put in, I don't think you can say I'm not trying to save my marriage because I've chosen not to follow your advice.

My advice centers on cultivating ur leadership role as a man and also as the head of ur family unit.

But I shall respect ur decision, this is after all your choice.

 

[Spaz]

An 'open letter' to everyone who posted in this thread.

I personally find this thread very disturbing and I sincerely hope the words posted in the last few days is not the general sentiment of the forum.

I believe in taking responsibility, it's very much central to my being or if you like my default setting. As it should be for every men here.

As men, we are automatically the head of our own family unit (or relationships), this I believe everyone naturally agrees.

But oftentimes when the family unit breaks down, as the leader, instead of taking responsibility for it and then take steps to rectify the situation, we end up blaming the wife or women in our life.

It's a contradiction, a leader but yet not wanting to lead.

And it seems like the entire forum shamelessly jumps on the bandwagon to lay the blame entirely on the women.

Do we really think the husband or boyfriend is blameless when he doesn't exercise his god given duty to lead?

 

[lamath]

An 'open letter' to everyone who posted in this thread.

I personally find this thread very disturbing and I sincerely hope the words posted in the last few days is not the general sentiment of the forum.

I believe in taking responsibility, it's very much central to my being or if you like my default setting. As it should be for every men here.

As men, we are automatically the head of our own family unit (or relationships), this I believe everyone naturally agrees.

But oftentimes when the family unit breaks down, as the leader, instead of taking responsibility for it and then take steps to rectify the situation, we end up blaming the wife or women in our life.

It's a contradiction, a leader but yet not wanting to lead.

And it seems like the entire forum shamelessly jumps on the bandwagon to lay the blame entirely on the women.

Do we really think the husband or boyfriend is blameless when he doesn't exercise his god given duty to lead?

There is always 2 side and if for example your wife treat you bad its your fault for letting it happen.
No one is forcing a man to stay.

 

[redskinsfan92]

An 'open letter' to everyone who posted in this thread.

I personally find this thread very disturbing and I sincerely hope the words posted in the last few days is not the general sentiment of the forum.

I believe in taking responsibility, it's very much central to my being or if you like my default setting. As it should be for every men here.

As men, we are automatically the head of our own family unit (or relationships), this I believe everyone naturally agrees.

But oftentimes when the family unit breaks down, as the leader, instead of taking responsibility for it and then take steps to rectify the situation, we end up blaming the wife or women in our life.

It's a contradiction, a leader but yet not wanting to lead.

And it seems like the entire forum shamelessly jumps on the bandwagon to lay the blame entirely on the women.

Do we really think the husband or boyfriend is blameless when he doesn't exercise his god given duty to lead?

Fair point

 

[StayOrGo?]

An 'open letter' to everyone who posted in this thread.

I personally find this thread very disturbing and I sincerely hope the words posted in the last few days is not the general sentiment of the forum.

I believe in taking responsibility, it's very much central to my being or if you like my default setting. As it should be for every men here.

As men, we are automatically the head of our own family unit (or relationships), this I believe everyone naturally agrees.

But oftentimes when the family unit breaks down, as the leader, instead of taking responsibility for it and then take steps to rectify the situation, we end up blaming the wife or women in our life.

It's a contradiction, a leader but yet not wanting to lead.

And it seems like the entire forum shamelessly jumps on the bandwagon to lay the blame entirely on the women.

Do we really think the husband or boyfriend is blameless when he doesn't exercise his god given duty to lead?

I assume your disturbed state is mainly directed at me since I was the (only) person in this thread who didn't exercise his "god given duty to lead." My lack of desire to organize a family picnic with military precision is not a failure to "lead" as you seem to imply. There are lots of ways to lead a family. Your suggestion is not the only way. For the record, I have certainly failed to lead in a variety of other ways (sleeping arrangements, tolerating a sexless marriage, etc...). But failure to organize a family picnic is not high on my list of failures.

 

[Spaz]

I assume your disturbed state is mainly directed at me since I was the (only) person in this thread who didn't exercise his "god given duty to lead." My lack of desire to organize a family picnic with military precision is not a failure to "lead" as you seem to imply. There are lots of ways to lead a family. Your suggestion is not the only way. For the record, I have certainly failed to lead in a variety of other ways (sleeping arrangements, tolerating a sexless marriage, etc...). But failure to organize a family picnic is not high on my list of failures.

You assumed wrongly.

It was directed to the senior members here and by right should know better.

 

[honeyshark]

I’ve been dating/married to my wife for 20 years. I got red pill awoke about 6 months ago and had a ton of anger and resentment. I used the last six months to get in shape, learn about game and prepare for the SMP. Yesterday, I confronted my wife about our sexless, affectionless relationship and she is doing a 180 to fix things. Now I’m torn. Do I try and fix things? My SMV is high and I can def get a younger, hotter girl now. But I do love (yes I’m still a blue pill beta loser) my wife and our family. Thoughts?

Try and fix things. Love does not make you a loser, it makes you a complete human being.

 

[GT40]

Keep the Red Pill going and ditch the Blue Pill ****. It's crap and never works.
Sounds like you're doing the 180; Gym / Attitude / Body Image.etc.....
If sex isn't on the table you need to push her for it. Initiate often and go get it. She's on the ropes and worried?? then she should be dropping her panties often. Cuddling on the couch is zero points dude.

Read No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr. Glover. Great book and it works. Get the sex you want and keep it. New attitude and Alpha up with leadership in all areas.

 

[GT40]

She's fearful of you leaving??? I don't think so man. You're still in a sexless marriage so she hasn't got the memo.
Time to stop staying home. Go out with friends / Be unpredictable / New Clothes / and Be ALPHA. Lead that stuff.

Do not get a Mistress yet. Why bother???? You won't save a marriage by sleeping around. Be smart about this and plan to be two steps ahead of the wife at all times.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She's fearful of you leaving??? I don't think so man. You're still in a sexless marriage so she hasn't got the memo.
Time to stop staying home. Go out with friends / Be unpredictable / New Clothes / and Be ALPHA. Lead that stuff.

Do not get a Mistress yet. Why bother???? You won't save a marriage by sleeping around. Be smart about this and plan to be two steps ahead of the wife at all times.

The mistress was to kill his neediness it pulls his attention and desire from her. Plus it reestablish his image as a sexualized male. Many women in that they will try to win the man, even if they dont realize it. People have left one person and started fvcking another and find that strangely the ex desires them again. Another man i know followed the advice and now wife cant get enough of him. Six months mistress stop asking wife for sex. Sex swag returns. Ignores her focused on his purpose and new puszy. Now she cant get enough.

 

[Spaz]

The mistress was to kill his neediness it pulls his attention and desire from her. Plus it reestablish his image as a sexualized male. Many women in that they will try to win the man, even if they dont realize it. People have left one person and started fvcking another and find that strangely the ex desires them again. Another man i know followed the advice and now wife cant get enough of him. Six months mistress stop asking wife for sex. Sex swag returns. Ignores her focused on his purpose and new puszy. Now she cant get enough.

How many percentage would do that? Too little to make a significant impact huh.

But better yet how many percentage would hv onenitis? When a man has it with a mistress things will always turn ugly for him and for his family.

This is why it's not wise to give out such an advice.

It's short sighted.

We give out advices that has the highest probability of working out in a given situation, no guarantees.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

How many percentage would do that? Too little to make a significant impact huh.

But better yet how many percentage would hv onenitis? When a man has it with a mistress things will always turn ugly for him and for his family.

This is why it's not wise to give out such an advice.

It's short sighted.

We give out advices that has the highest probability of working out in a given situation, no guarantees.

I know its "bad" advice but hes in an unwinnable position. The wife puts him in that position knowing it deadlocks him. Complain or not complain hes depleted of power in their situation. There must be some illogical advice which has a best chance of working in this position which so many men are forced into.

 

[Spaz]

I know its "bad" advice but hes in an unwinnable position. The wife puts him in that position knowing it deadlocks him. Complain or not complain hes depleted of power in their situation. There must be some illogical advice which has a best chance of working in this position which so many men are forced into.

That only teaches him to sweep the problem under the rug.

The man should look within him 1st instead of blaming the people around him, a wife after all will mirror her man.

 

[BeExcellent]

That only teaches him to sweep the problem under the rug.

The man should look within him 1st instead of blaming the people around him, a wife after all will mirror her man.

To do as @mrgoodstuff suggests also gives her the moral high ground. We don’t know her. OP does. I know women who have further ostracized their husbands for cheating and either gone on to ruin him socially whilst refusing to give up sex on the grounds of infidelity and unknown health risk to herself (not an insignificant consideration). Maybe she’s a frigid prude. I can’t say, but cheating has no guarantee of the desired result and may make things much worse.

Do as @Mauser96 suggests. If that doesn’t work, understand that you cannot negotiate desire. If desire is dead (or worse if she never had desire for you in the first place *Nasty thought I know but you MUST look back honestly and consider this possibility - some women marry pragmatically and without genuine sexual desire*)...and this you cannot resolve, ever.

So if sex is not forthcoming? Not occurring? Her dread may be along the lines of not wanting to lose HER social position in her circles. A position that derives in part from her social presentation as a suitably married woman. Married status, especially if to a relatively successful man confers a great deal of status on a woman. You need to evaluate her motivations.

If she is categorically not interested in sex with you and her greater concern is for her own social standing? Bail.

In that case your goose is cooked and she isn’t coming back into your bed sexually.

My fear for you is that is actually what you are dealing with.

 

[Roober]

If a woman desires a man, she wont turn him down for sex. You can become more desirable in many ways, some of which may have already been suggested...

1. Have a reasonable backbone. Dont like that shirt she bought you? Tell her so.

2. Lead her. Dont ask her what she wants, make a suggestion then work out a solution.

3. Treat her like a little sister you want to fvck. Pick on her. Play games. Be stupid. Just love your life and everything it has to offer.

4. Fvck her like a *****. Pull her hair, spank her, pick her up,toss her around, play with her azz, talk dirty, etc. Wheb you think of how severe, I wouldnt cause any more pain than an indian burn...?

5. Women are not beautiful, gorgeous, cute, blah blah blah. They are sexy, make you hard, etc.

6. Learn the art of the smile.
A. Smile at other women.
B. When your lady says something stupid, smile.
C. When shes angry, smile.
D. When she asks if you love her, smile.
E. If your not sure how to respond, smile.
F. If she get mad for smiling at other women, "what?" *smile*

7. Dont stop! Dont stop working, dont stop improving, dont stop living.

I could go on, but this seems like a good start. Now, number 4 is tricky and you have to walk a very fine line. The rest all have NUANCE, which is very important to understand. This is where many men fail because sometimes the context of a situation requires a more harsh or more soft approach.

Relationships can be wonderful, and if you are still in it to win it, then definitely be the best man for her. She can either $hit or get off the pot. Splitting up is usually the easy lazy approach

 

[Epimanes]

I would sit down and talk with her and explain that you did not sign up to have a best friend, which apparently she is now. You signed up to have a lover first, companion second (this is how my wife and I see each other and have talked about it). Tell her this is a problem for you and she needs to go get herself checked, or tell you why she doesn't like or want the intimacy with you.

This..... wont work.... likely shes in early stages pr perimenopause or somthing... man i banged my head against the wall tryin to talk my way into wtf was going on and why sex and intimacy was no longer on the plate.... you cant talk that outa them... you have to just create the feelings without asking her. If they dont happen... it will just continue to get worse til her menopause is in full swing and she comes out the other side ... you may split like my wife and i just did after 25yrs together...but i think shes gunna regret it once her hormonal stage is over... and she becomes more balanced within herself...

 

[AttackFormation]

This..... wont work.... likely shes in early stages pr perimenopause or somthing... man i banged my head against the wall tryin to talk my way into wtf was going on and why sex and intimacy was no longer on the plate.... you cant talk that outa them... you have to just create the feelings without asking her. If they dont happen... it will just continue to get worse til her menopause is in full swing and she comes out the other side ... you may split like my wife and i just did after 25yrs together...but i think shes gunna regret it once her hormonal stage is over... and she becomes more balanced within herself...

You cant negotiate desire, but you can get her on hormone replacement.

 

[Spaz]

This..... wont work.... likely shes in early stages pr perimenopause or somthing... man i banged my head against the wall tryin to talk my way into wtf was going on and why sex and intimacy was no longer on the plate.... you cant talk that outa them... you have to just create the feelings without asking her. If they dont happen... it will just continue to get worse til her menopause is in full swing and she comes out the other side ... you may split like my wife and i just did after 25yrs together...but i think shes gunna regret it once her hormonal stage is over... and she becomes more balanced within herself...

Menopause is indeed a problem but then all women goes through it.

How is it that all women don't divorce their husbands by that time?