Why would anyone move and disconnect all contact with everyone they know?

[T-Mack]

I have a buddy that recently went missing 5 days ago. He left his car and phone behind. The private investigators said that he bought a plane ticket to a city along the west coast. I thought he was dead and that someone stole his credit card.

Today, I hear news that he emailed his mom to tell her that he is not coming back and she won't hear from him again. This guy was living on the east coast and going to college a state away from his hometown. Now he is all the way on the west coast with literally nothing but his credit card.

What would push someone off the edge to want to do this? I thought that maybe he is planning to kill himself or some girl broke his heart or his mom is lying and doesn't want to tell his friends that he is dead.

 

[uuurrrr]

Confidence

He Has Confidence

I have a buddy that recently went missing 5 days ago. He left his car and phone behind. The private investigators said that he bought a plane ticket to a city along the west coast. I thought he was dead and that someone stole his credit card.

Today, I hear news that he emailed his mom to tell her that he is not coming back and she won't hear from him again. This guy was living on the east coast and going to college a state away from his hometown. Now he is all the way on the west coast with literally nothing but his credit card.

What would push someone off the edge to want to do this? I thought that maybe he is planning to kill himself or some girl broke his heart or his mom is lying and doesn't want to tell his friends that he is dead.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Without more information it could be a lot of things.

Mental illness?

Maybe he was surrounded by sh!theads and got tired of it?

Bad family?

You tell us.

 

[mpimpin]

Into The Wild

It's exciting. An adventure, new beginning.

 

[SBW]

In my case, this:

Maybe he was surrounded by sh!theads and got tired of it?

And this:

Into The Wild

It's exciting. An adventure, new beginning.

Were major factors.

About twenty years ago, I'd got to a point in my life where my then circle was going nowhere fast and self-destructing badly. I just got to the point where I said "f*ck-it - I'll be dead in a year or so if I hang around this lot much longer!" and secured a job with an agency that saw me working on the road for long periods, so I took-off on my bike and relocated to the south of the country and parts of Europe for several years. My closest family were however able to contact me.

Best thing I ever did TBH. I learned a lot that took me to good places when I finally returned home.

And of the people I left behind, I waited for the worthwile ones to find me and sure enough three did - Interestingly they also moved away to find themselves again. Of the rest, some did ok, others I've never heard of again.

 

[OzyBoy]

I thought of doing this but going to another country and it would have been exciting! I even went as far as getting a visa but it's expired now and i decided not to go because there are some more important things that are keeping me at home which is fine but that does not mean i can't go on holidays. :rock:

 

[Luthor Rex]

About twenty years ago, I'd got to a point in my life where my then circle was going nowhere fast and self-destructing badly. I just got to the point where I said "f*ck-it - I'll be dead in a year or so if I hang around this lot much longer!"

I don't want to go into details about my own situation: god forbid my online identity and my offline identity ever connect. But I have to say YES to the above.

It's not just necessarily about friends either: everyone around you influences who you are and the choices you make (to some degree). No matter how awesome you are, a toxic environment will drag you down.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

I can certainly identify with youthful wanderlust. I joined the Marines when I was 18, 2 months before 9/11 happened (Oh Boy...)

But remain vigilant, gents. Running away from problems is a very bad habit to start.

 

[horaholic]

Sounds to me like he got himself in serious trouble with mafia or the law or something.

I understand wanting to start a new life, but to tell your MOM that you wont ever contact her again? I've bailed too, but its no reason to forsake your friends and family. That sounds like he's on the run.

 

[Gaucho]

Most definately depression or anxiety or both.

 

[T-Mack]

I've known this guy for about 5 years. He never seemed like a guy that had any kind of mental illnesses. He has good family and a lot of friends and a fun guy to hang out with.

Friends and family have been leaving him messages on his facebook wall asking him to come home for the past few days. I log on today and notice my friend list is one person smaller. He deleted his facebook, so he must be serious about no contact.

I just find it kind of odd. My uncle did the same thing 10 years ago out of the blue and still has not contacted any of my family. He moved to Las Vegas and changed his name. He had a huge gambling problem, divorced his wife, and left his kids with her before he disappeared.

 

[J. Darko]

I did a similar thing. You know why? No you don't, so I'm going you to tell about it.

Because life was a living hell. Having people around me that brought me no where. Parents that terrorised me. So called friends that only contacted me when they needed something from me. Having girlfriends who asked advice about other guys and whined about their f*cking relationships. I had a lot of contacts, but basically I was alone and getting used for the happiness of other people, they never cared about or helped me with my happiness.

So I have chosen to rather be alone for a long, long time, in a far away place where no one knows me, then to put up with the torment of useless social contacts that drained my energy.

And of course they tried to contact me. People always do, those energy sucking monsters that suddenly miss you and have absolutely no clue why you left. Trying to be nice to put you back in their prison. Disgusting.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I did a similar thing. You know why? No you don't, so I'm going you to tell about it.

Because life was a living hell. Having people around me that brought me no where. Parents that terrorised me. So called friends that only contacted me when they needed something from me. Having girlfriends who asked advice about other guys and whined about their f*cking relationships. I had a lot of contacts, but basically I was alone and getting used for the happiness of other people, they never cared about or helped me with my happiness.

So I have chosen to rather be alone for a long, long time, in a far away place where no one knows me, then to put up with the torment of useless social contacts that drained my energy.

And of course they tried to contact me. People always do, those energy sucking monsters that suddenly miss you and have absolutely no clue why you left. Trying to be nice to put you back in their prison. Disgusting.

I've seen men stuck in this situation before. I've known guys who could have escaped a lifestyle that was basically grinding poverty if it were not for family and friends who dragged them down. People who come from either good or even so-so backgrounds don't always understand how dangerous toxic people can be.

As a mild example, one guy I knew was the productive member of his family. One day his father came to him and said "your younger brother needs a car, can you help him out?" So this guy plops down $10,000 and gets his brother a car. That weekend the brother goes out drunk driving with his friends in some backwoods roads and wrecks the car. So the father comes back to the productive guy and asks "can you buy your brother another car?"

 

[lambo_cst]

I did a similar thing. You know why? No you don't, so I'm going you to tell about it.

Because life was a living hell. Having people around me that brought me no where. Parents that terrorised me. So called friends that only contacted me when they needed something from me. Having girlfriends who asked advice about other guys and whined about their f*cking relationships. I had a lot of contacts, but basically I was alone and getting used for the happiness of other people, they never cared about or helped me with my happiness.

So I have chosen to rather be alone for a long, long time, in a far away place where no one knows me, then to put up with the torment of useless social contacts that drained my energy.

And of course they tried to contact me. People always do, those energy sucking monsters that suddenly miss you and have absolutely no clue why you left. Trying to be nice to put you back in their prison. Disgusting.

I just did this any went to vegas!!

 

[r0cky]

A close friend of mine did this. He moved from Nyc to San Francisco. After 3 years he decided to comeback and visit his family, however this time he wasnt the same. He became a homosexual.
Other reasons maybe that he was at a point in life were he couldnt take life anymore, and did the next best thing to suicide, to disappear.

 

[backbreaker]

pretty much what i did. got up one day and said i want to move to socal and did. did not talk to my family for about a year and missed my little sister and broke down and called. now i have a son and am somewhat forced to keep some type of contact with them. but if i never heard from them again i would not lose any sleep.

 

[Kerpal]

I've done this more than once. However, it's easy when you don't know very many/any people, you're not really leaving anything behind.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

I too have pondered this idea. Still do every now and then.

Toxic people, the expectations everyone has from you, living a boring life, stupid comfort zones, they all keep you in a rut and make it harder for you to become what you want.

Such a major change forces you to move forward.
It's far from running away from problems; it's living on your own terms!

 

[Quiksilver]

Eh, I moved 15,000km(9,500 miles) away from my hometown all by myself, two years ago. Still don't know when and if I will return.

Two parts to the answer of why ...

1. Life was stagnant back home. Days were passing by, wasn't motivated to achieve and couldn't see my future. The fire in my life kind of fizzled out, and I realized this. Knew something had to change.

2. Was pulled by this one concept: How will you look back on this time in your life, when you're older? I can look back now and say I wasn't afraid to leave one life behind and create another. It is hard, and I can say the past two and a half years have been very trying mentally and emotionally, but on the other end I'll be a better person for it. I'll have developed worldly contacts and a CV that employers may look twice at. I've experienced things that no one back home has, and now have a better sense of life and what it means.

It's been hard, oh so hard, but at least I haven't lived in a padded comfort zone that many are so fearful of leaving.

If you're the type of person who gets homesick easily, don't bother.

--

Also, the longer I've been away from my old life, the more important I've discovered that friendship is, and how there is serious merit to growing up in having a close community of friends and family around you. Don't take friendship and close bonds lightly.

Probably my biggest regret of the past two years is how poor of a friend I've been to those I knew and loved back home. Should be keeping in touch more and sharing experiences.

That is one thing that the guy mentioned in the OP will realize down the road, just how important all of his hometown friends and family are to him.

hope this helps, cheers.

 

[londonzen]

im 24 the oldest of 4 siblings
i want to do this if u wasnt so drunk or high i would just get in my car and drive till i see the coast.

mum is evil think tony sopranoes mum and thinks i was born to serve her

dad is insecure and needy thinks im here to serve him

job is ****

friends phone only for money or other favours

i just want to have an expirience of getting away from it,even if i grow out of it.

a cousin who was a broke lonely fat joke in london moved to the north in early 09 came down last week she is now 16 stone (used to be 22) smiling glowing,happy,pregnant,always on the phone, and enjoying her life.
my parents diss her for leaving london(she lived with us and done all cooking cleaning)

i just feel so trapped