Why Women Love Badboys

[Fatality]

Originally posted by sapphire
I am a lawyer by trade. I have gone to prison to visit clients. I have seen hordes of women, some very attractive, wait for hours just to see some bad ass locked up for years and still these women keep on coming back.

So, yes the evidence is there. A large number of women are drawn to bad boys.

Conjugal visit sex? If so maybe the guy is just really good at sex. I doubt these girls aren't fooling around in the real world. Still those girls are mental cases and I don't think most girls would go for guys that are that so bad they have to spend years in jail.

 

[tmpgstx]

You'll often find the girls who are the least insecure with themselves and the most apt to sleep around going for bad boys. I can rarely think of an instance where a decent girl i know is with a bad boy. The ones that are all have serious issues.

 

[dietzcoi]

Well DrSosuave, looks like a few people with an IQ over 100 do agree with me after all

It always amazes me how the die-hard chumps will defend women's poor behavior over and over again.

They will also refuse to see reality.

Yes, many women (hoes) do flock to so-called bad boys. It is a fact DrSoSuave.

Live with it. Maybe your women's studies courses don't teach this?

Dietzcoi

 

[sapphire]

It is very simple psycology.

Women need drama and excitement in their lives to make their otherwise dreary existence palatable.

Bad Boys bring all that into the mix as opposed to the nice guy.

In addition I don't believe the notion that after a certain age a woman will want to settle for a guy who can bring stability into the relationship. As a counseler I have seen many cases where the women, of all ages, left the perfectly nice (but boring men) for someone who brought excitement into their lives, the latter usually being the stereotypical bad boy or someone who at least exuded those qualities. Also, female infedelity is usually the result of being bored of the relationship, the male victim almost always being the stereotypical nice guy.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The Tommi Lee Syndrome

The difficulty most guys have with accepting that women will generally opt for Bad Boys in favor of Nice guys is that their behaviors always betray their words. Think about it this way; like most guys we prefer simple, rudimentary answers to solve problems. Car wont move, I put gas in car, car moves, goal achieved. Likewise, with women we want a simple solution - I need sex, women withhold sex, ask women "what do you want from a guy" to achieve sex, modify behavior accordingly to get sex, goal achieved. Simple deductive reasoning.

Yet the problem occurs that this isn't the method that produces semi-predictable, reliable results, because women have confounding variables in what they 'think' it takes for them to become intimate. Ask a woman why she continues to keep resuming an abusive relationship or has sex with her outlaw biker after complaining about 'how he is' and they'll say they don't know or "I guess I'm just a sucker for the Bad Boy." They may genuinely not recognize the psycho-biological reasons for their own behaviors. And it is women's behavior and the modifying circumstances and environments that we need to pay attention to in order to get what we want. Bad Boy gets the results I want (i.e. unlimited access to unlimited sexuality), what are Bad Boy's behaviors and characteristics that produce these results? He rides a motorcycle (external behavior), he is extroverted (external trait), hell, just look at all the examples from the initial post of this thread - each defining characteristic of the Bad Boy makes him the object to be sought, he is the PRIZE.

Look at the tumultuous relationship between Tommi Lee and Pamela Anderson. We have Pam as (arguably) one of the most desirable women on planet earth. She is a genetic celebrity and I can't think of a single guy I know who wouldn't want to get after it with her. Next we have Tommi, Bad Boy, rock star, has had more tail in a single year than most of us will get in a lifetime. He is a sought after commodity in the sexual marketplace. We have two highly in demand persons in this couple. Tommi is with a girl guys dream of and Pam is with a Bad Boy that women will stand in line to get with. They get married and Tommi's abusive nature surfaces. Tommi gets arrested for domestic abuse and gets a warning. Pam takes him back. 6 months later Tommi again abuses the most desirable woman in the world and is arrested this time. Pam wont press charges. A year later same behavior, Tommi beats up Pam and goes to jail for 8 months. Pam's response? "I still love him and I wish things could be better between us." Pam files for divorces and a year later is in an LTR with Kid Rcok.

Behavior, behavior, behavior. It is not what a woman says, it is what she does! Women are biologically attracted to men who display these qualities and consequently she wants to breed with him. The Nice guy is a good choice for the responsibilities of parental investment in raising offspring, but is rarely the one who's genetic material she wants to pass on. There are men women want to fvck and men they want to marry. Rarely do the two exist in the same person. That's the challenge, to simultaneously display the physical traits that she finds desirable in the Bad Boy (the guys she wants to fvck) and be the provider of the security she desires in a mate and use this to your advantage.

The Bad Boy dynamic is the reason women want to fvck the powerful corporate exec and the drug dealer in the ghetto. Both posess the dynamic, just in different arenas.

As SAPHIRE stated, since women tend to lose their sexual value as they age, there come a stage in their lives when they will rearrange their priorities for their intimacy. Women would like you to believe that this decision represents a new degree of maturity for them when actually it become their only recourse to get to long term security that men provide. A 22 y.o. woman's conditions for intimacy may be the Bad Boy that gets her hot, but as she reaches 28-29 she understands that he can't provide for her long term security and then searches out the Nice Guy who does have the means. Sappy, blissfully ignorant, Nice Guy thinks he's finally hit the jackpot after all these years and gives her exactly what she's planned for. It works out even better if she's a single mommie, pregnant by the Bad Boy (who's moved on to equally fertile females) and Nice Guy is willing to play the role of saviour. Finding a male who will securely share the parental investment for the offspring of a more genetically desirable male's (irregardless of the method) is an evolutionary gold mine for the female of any species.

 

[Bonhomme]

Bad boys or pretty boys?

The thing that's being left out is that all these guys (Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, etc.) are perceived as being attractive.

What of the great guy who is genuinely stronger, more dominant, and more powerful (in a personal sense) than someone like Tommy Lee, but doesn't want to put on any "badass" airs?

So the attraction must be the drama,fame, and image/appearance. Because those are the only things the "bad boy" has that the great guy can't match.

 

[jakethasnake]

Re: Bad boys or pretty boys?

Originally posted by Bonhomme
The thing that's being left out is that all these guys (Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, etc.) are perceived as being attractive.

What of the grat guy who is genuinely stronger, more dominant, and more powerful (in a personal sense) than someone like Tommy Lee, but doesn't want to put on any "badass" airs?

So the attraction must be the drama,fame, and image/appearance. Because those are the only things the "bad boy" has that the great guy can't match.

I agree.

It's certainly the celebrity of Tommy Lee that heightens his appeal. A broke ass badboy will appeal to his female counterpart that's on the same socio-economic stratum - the broke-ass trailer-trash/hood-rat crack hoe who strips at the club down the street and doles out the occasional handjob to make rent.


As a general rule (there are always individual exceptions of course) don't forget that women desire the bad boy, but ALSO want to climb socially. If a woman who has most things in life (looks, social status/pedigree) wants to get with a badboy, her primary options would be a rich and/or famous playboy - like a musician or an actor. The last thing on her mind would be some deadbeat human scum with 20 years experience in the State correctional system.

There is a difference between a badboy who can afford to drive a flashy car or bike and a badboy who literally pimps women on a street corner. Different types of "hors" (to borrow from PRL) go for different types of "badboys".

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by sapphire
I am a lawyer by trade. I have gone to prison to visit clients. I have seen hordes of women, some very attractive, wait for hours just to see some bad ass locked up for years and still these women keep on coming back.

So, yes the evidence is there. A large number of women are drawn to bad boys.

Yes, there are a lot of women who go out of their way to have relationships with men in prison. As I've mentioned before, I once ended up with a man who was in prison, although I didn't go looking for that. I moved into an apartment next door to his kids who had just lost their Mom to suicide 3 months earlier. They took to me, and I grew to love them very much. I gave them a ride to go visit their Dad and his daughter talked me into going in to keep her company while he spent time with her little 10 year old brother. (She was 18) Our love for his kids is what ultimately led to us getting involved. I visited prisons for 4 years, and I've seen it all. There are women who jump from one prisoner to another, put up with some of the worst treatment you can imagine, and who are conned into giving money and gifts to prisoners. My situation was very different, and I would never get involved with another prisoner...and I wasn't conned or used, so it wasn't the same kind of dynamic. What used to infuriate me to no end was the women who would start relationships with freaking child molesters KNOWING that's what they were convicted of. AND the idiots would bring their kids to visit these guys. I wanted to beat their arses so bad. I don't know why anyone would go out seeking a relationship with a prisoner. It's one thing if it just sort of happens like in my case...but most of them that weren't already with the guy before he went to jail are kinda likee prisoner groupies. It's pretty screwed up.

 

[stevera004]

Re: The Tommi Lee Syndrome

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
The difficulty most guys have with accepting that women will generally opt for Bad Boys in favor of Nice guys is that their behaviors always betray their words.

The Bad Boy dynamic is the reason women want to fvck the powerful corporate exec and the drug dealer in the ghetto. Both posess the dynamic, just in different arenas.

As SAPHIRE stated, since women tend to lose their sexual value as they age, there come a stage in their lives when they will rearrange their priorities for their intimacy. Women would like you to believe that this decision represents a new degree of maturity for them when actually it become their only recourse to get to long term security that men provide. A 22 y.o. woman's conditions for intimacy may be the Bad Boy that gets her hot, but as she reaches 28-29 she understands that he can't provide for her long term security and then searches out the Nice Guy who does have the means. Sappy, blissfully ignorant, Nice Guy thinks he's finally hit the jackpot after all these years and gives her exactly what she's planned for. It works out even better if she's a single mommie, pregnant by the Bad Boy (who's moved on to equally fertile females) and Nice Guy is willing to play the role of saviour. Finding a male who will securely share the parental investment for the offspring of a more genetically desirable male's (irregardless of the method) is an evolutionary gold mine for the female of any species.

Great, great post. Women don't outgrow their attraction to bad boys as they get older; they outgrow their own capacity to attract bad boys and then perform the self-deceptive rationilization to explain this away.

 

[Wyldfire]

Re: Bad boys or pretty boys?

Originally posted by Bonhomme
The thing that's being left out is that all these guys (Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, etc.) are perceived as being attractive.

What of the grat guy who is genuinely stronger, more dominant, and more powerful (in a personal sense) than someone like Tommy Lee, but doesn't want to put on any "badass" airs?

So the attraction must be the drama,fame, and image/appearance. Because those are the only things the "bad boy" has that the great guy can't match.

As I mentioned a couple of months ago...Sandra Bullock and Jesse James came into the restaurant I work at and I waited on them. Sandra gives off the typical "sweet girl next door" aura...and she really is a very sweet person. Jesse looks like a bada$$ with all the tattoos and he's a big, buff guy, too. Ironically, I found him to be one of the nicest people I've ever waited on. He overtipped me, too...but I had them laughing pretty hard and was joking around with them. I think some of the appeal of the "bad boy" is the "look". Bad boys look "dangerous" and "exciting". I actually think the look is the most important part of the attraction. I've known a lot of guys into Harleys who have that same kind of look who are actually total pushovers...but women chase after them like no tomorrow, too.

 

[jakethasnake]

So many different perspectives. And most of them have some truth in it. NONE are absolute though - any reasonably rational person would see that.


I think that your average, 'everyday women' - i.e. the ones you meet in real life, even the hot ones - will like a man who *looks* bad, but not one who literally beats and pimps or stabs people and women. There are exceptions, like the obviously psychotic women. But most women seem to like the feeling of protection that an intimidating badboy type gives them.

 

[Fatality]

Pam Anderson was raped when she was 12. Jenna Jameson was gang raped at 14 and they both were with Tommy Lee.

 

[jakethasnake]

I'd like to read something which verifies it. Not that I don't believe you - I just want to see it for myself. That would be intriguing.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
I'd like to read something which verifies it. Not that I don't believe you - I just want to see it for myself. That would be intriguing.

There is always an underlying issue that leads a woman to stay with a man that abuses her and allow it to continue. Sometimes it's being raped and feeling dirty and blaming themselves...thinking subconsciously that they deserve to be punished. Sometimes it's from being physically abused or molested...same kind of dynamic. Sometimes it's something so subtle that it's almost impossible to pick up on. As a woman who stayed with a man who beat me for ten years, and one who understands why I allowed it to go on, I can explain at least my situation.

When I was growing up my family just didn't show any emotions whatsoever...negative or positive. There were no angry or violent outbursts and no expressions of love or tenderness. Looking back, it was really quite bizarre. So there wasn't any abuse or violence in my past to explain it. It took a lot of reflecting and thought for me to sort this all out. For me...I was attracted to not my ex husband, but to the passionate feelings...which of course were all negative. But it provided a need I had...to be in an enviornment where I could release all the feelings and emotions I never was able to release before. Over time I got involved with AlAnon and learned how to express those feelings and emotions in a healthy way. As soon as I grew in that way, I no longer "needed" what being in an abusive relationship gave me, and I was able to easily walk away. When women stay with an abuser it is because the environment provides an emotional need she has. The women who repeat this pattern over and over again are the ones who don't identify the emotional need that being abused satisfies. The ones who do figure this out are able to move on and have healthy relationships.

I hope this helps explain things at least a little bit.

 

[Fatality]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
I'd like to read something which verifies it. Not that I don't believe you - I just want to see it for myself. That would be intriguing.

They both mentioned it on the howard Stern show. Jenna probably talks about it in her book.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

I don't beleive women anymore with that. rape abuse sh!t.According to like 90% of the women I've spoken too they've been "taken advantadge of" at one time or another.

I need proof.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

There are so many options for women to justify and rationalize their behavior. Not that men don't do the same thing, but they're limited in ways that are available to women. I wrote a thesis paper for my psych degree that basically lays out that people are intimately aware of their own conditions and their behvaiors manifest this awareness. A person has so many simultaneously occuring conditions that they cannot possibly be cognizant of them all at once, but we are aware of them on some subconscious level.

In this sense women are aware of their condiotions and behave accordingly. Jenna Jameson (or any porn star), strippers, prostitutes, etc. aren't the only ones with 'Daddy Issues', but it's a convenient excuse to legitamize behavior that they can't deny. So rather than assume responsibilities for their behavior it's easier to cope with them by seeking empathy and identification with their rationalized root causes. We're expected to empathize with Pam Anderson for being abused at 12 by excusing her behaviors now.

Likewise, in the same sense women are aware on some level as to why they prefer Bad Boys sexualy and why a Nice guy is their necessary choice for marriage, but we're expected (men and women) to empathize with them for doing so. It's their personal conditions at a given stage of their lives that dictate these behaviors and any convenient legitimization of them that maintains and affirms their own self-image is usefull inspite of any negative associations their behaviors have. In English this means the, "I don't why I did it, I was just drunk and one thing led to another,.." excuse is a completely valid and acceptable response for behavior that she wanted to participate in anyway.

 

[skeeloo]

Re: Re: The Tommi Lee Syndrome

Originally posted by stevera004
Great, great post. Women don't outgrow their attraction to bad boys as they get older; they outgrow their own capacity to attract bad boys and then perform the self-deceptive rationilization to explain this away.

that is very true man.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Sorry, but I have to bump this thread in light of new evidence:

Scott Peterson Marriage Death Row Proposals

The prosecution rest.

For God's sake, 3 dozen women! Do you really need any more proof than this?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Sorry, but I have to bump this thread in light of new evidence:

Scott Peterson Marriage Death Row Proposals

The prosecution rest.

For God's sake, 3 dozen women! Do you really need any more proof than this?

3 dozen of those convict "groupies" I mentioned in my post. There are ALOT of women who do this.