WHY try to achieve, grow, improve, etc?

[FatHairyM4F]

For almost all of my life I've been the kind of person who, when I've wanted something but it involved what I considered to be a lot of effort, I always said "nevermind, I'll do without". Which is why I'm almost 34 never had a gf and am a virgin. It's also the reason why I have a huge gut, have a job that pays $11/hour because it doesn't require much effort on my part, and spend any time that I'm not working at home playing PS2 or on the internet so I don't have any friends. Even when I did have friends (both of whom were AFC losers just like me) it would annoy them that I would p!ss and moan about not feeling like hanging out and doing anything, preferring to stay at home by myself and you guessed it, play PS2 or go on the internet.

Okay, here's my question in a nutshell: for a person like me who for almost all of his life has been very passive and lazy by nature, and only makes a commitment to something (like a job) when it's literally a matter of survival, WHY set goals and try to achieve them, why try to grow as a person, why try to "do something with your life"? Why NOT just avoid life as much as possible, clinging to the dull old and safe because at least it's familiar, rather than trying to accomplish something that may or may not work out, and definitely will require effort, sacrifice, inconvenience and discomfort? Is there some reason why it's NECESSARY to try to grow, learn, achieve? What's my motivation NOT to just waste my life away?

For some it may be natural as can be: "I do it because that's just who I am, I love challenges" or "I do it just because it feels good to accomplish something". But this is just the way I'm wired, at the present anyway, that avoiding unpleasant circumstances motivates me a lot more than seeking pleasant ones. Call me a loser, call me a pvssy, etc. I already think that of myself so that's not going to motivate me either.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Sounds to me like you have absolutely no energy whatsoever.

Losers lack spirit in my opinion. They lack any kind of drive or motivation which is what makes them losers.

I can't convince you not to be like this, its your own decision. But I can help you not to be this way anymore should you choose to accept it. Should you want to do something with your life. To complete your life's work. To achieve your dream.

How?

By helping you get more energy. You can only build and create when you have a drive. Your drive consists of two parts. One part mental one part physical.

The mental is your willpower and determination. Its also how you think and what you think about. Think of success and you will achieve it. Think of doing work and motivating yourself to do it and you will succeed. Think of willpower and controlling yourself and your thoughts and you will.

Then there is the second part. The physical. Without it, no matter how strong the mind is, the results will not be as apparent unless you also have a strong body. You don't have to be super-athletic, but you do have to have some fitness. Some muscle, and some cardiovascular endurance. To get the blood pumping and nutrients flowing to all parts of the body and wastes flowing out. That and exercise affects hormonal levels. Hormones like testosterone are a drive in men. They give you desire. To be dominant and succeed and to get women.

Not only that but you must also give your body necessary nutrients for proper functioning. Fats for the brain and hormones, complex carbohydrates for a good, even insulin response (eating sugar gives you an insulin spike, makes you sleepy) and for function, and protein for muscle repair and building if you want to take it a step further. And of course vitamins and minerals that makes everything work properly. Vitamins and minerals are used to make enzymes that digest food and produce all the substances your body needs from the simple forms you ingest.

Only by combining both aspects will you ever become great. You got to have a sharp mind and a sharp body. One will not work without the other.

The sharper and more fir both are, the more successful you will be.


Read up on proper nutrition (www.johnberardi.com) proper training for whatever you like to do (www.ironaddicts.com) and a proper way of thought (Tony Robbins tapes, can be found on P2P networks like eMule, LimeWire or Torrent) and of course how to deal with women (www.theplayersupremeshow.com).


However, I recommend starting with the very base. Your body. Start taking care of it, and get the energy flowing, when it does you can start to work on the mind. The body is the easiest to get working optimally and you will need the extra energy (drive) to get your mind in order. However you wish to mold yourself to be. To be the best you.

Hope I helped. Nothing's impossible. You just have to do it and never give up. You will fail many times, but if you continue, you WILL succeed.

(Unless its something retarded and completely unrealistic like wanting to have the power to change color or fly. That's pretty much impossible.)

 

[violator]

If you read the biographies of the most successful people in business, they all share a common thread, which is PERSEVERENCE. No matter the obstacles, if you just focus your mind towards your goal and make it a HABIT to do what is necessary each and every day to inch towards your objective, success will eventually come your way. Make a list of what is necessary to be done for any particular objective and focus on each of them every day and just do it.

I agree though that it takes a strong mind as well as a strong body to do this. So start working out and eating right and you'd be amazed at the results.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

I agree though that it takes a strong mind as well as a strong body to do this. So start working out and eating right and you'd be amazed at the results.

That is step one. But you also have to do direct work on the mind after priming the body. Strong body can only take you so far, a strong mind along with it will take you to the ends of the earth and back.

 

[mexican_player2]

WHY try to achieve, grow, improve, etc?

because the way you are living is not making you happy, and by doing that eventually will.

 

[dap]

If you don't think the energy is worth it to get in shape, date attractive women, and get a good job, then don't do it. There's no reason to do something if the reward isnt worth the energy you put in. However, for me, it is of utmost importance (it is all I think about) to be healthy, friendly, successful, attractive, and to support a happy family. Except for when I'm relaxing, everything I do is to improve one of those above goals. If you don't have these goals, then pursue other ones (being good at PS2, etc). You and I seem like very different people, so it would follow that we would have very different goals as well.

 

[rrrrr]

dap is wise beyond his years.

A) Either decide you want to make a change and put effort into accomplishing your goals

-or-

B) Continue with what your are doing because it is not worth the effort.


Noone here is going to be able to motivate you or get you off your @ss. You must do that yourself.

Sometimes putting effort into things is not easy. I am studying to apply for an MBA. It's not fun, but 2-3 years from now, I'd have an MBA and probably a better job.

I have relatives into their 40's (you're almost there) who have no job, or barely get by, live off their parents, and are out of shape. They have no meaningful relationships to speak of (not all my family is like this). Some people simply are not driven to succeed or change their life, or put effort into accomplishing things. If you are satisfied to sit and play PS2 all night and make $11 an hour, nobody is going to help you. Me, I'm so discontent with where I am in life, I want to do something to improve myself. The pain and dissatisfaction of wanting what I am lacking makes me want to do something about it.

 

[Obsidian]

If you don't think the energy is worth it to get in shape, date attractive women, and get a good job, then don't do it. There's no reason to do something if the reward isnt worth the energy you put in.

Regardless of what your corrupted mind and body might be making you think -- Becoming a real man is worth the effort.

And what kind of job could be paying you only $11 / hr? That's pathetic. Do you not have any marketable skills whatsoever? Get off your ass and make something of yourself so you don't starve to death when you should be retiring.

Go watch Fight Club or SAW; maybe that'll give you some inspiration.

 

[Lust]

For almost all of my life I've been the kind of person who, when I've wanted something but it involved what I considered to be a lot of effort, I always said "nevermind, I'll do without". Which is why I'm almost 34 never had a gf and am a virgin. It's also the reason why I have a huge gut, have a job that pays $11/hour because it doesn't require much effort on my part, and spend any time that I'm not working at home playing PS2 or on the internet so I don't have any friends. Even when I did have friends (both of whom were AFC losers just like me) it would annoy them that I would p!ss and moan about not feeling like hanging out and doing anything, preferring to stay at home by myself and you guessed it, play PS2 or go on the internet.

Okay, here's my question in a nutshell: for a person like me who for almost all of his life has been very passive and lazy by nature, and only makes a commitment to something (like a job) when it's literally a matter of survival, WHY set goals and try to achieve them, why try to grow as a person, why try to "do something with your life"? Why NOT just avoid life as much as possible, clinging to the dull old and safe because at least it's familiar, rather than trying to accomplish something that may or may not work out, and definitely will require effort, sacrifice, inconvenience and discomfort? Is there some reason why it's NECESSARY to try to grow, learn, achieve? What's my motivation NOT to just waste my life away?

For some it may be natural as can be: "I do it because that's just who I am, I love challenges" or "I do it just because it feels good to accomplish something". But this is just the way I'm wired, at the present anyway, that avoiding unpleasant circumstances motivates me a lot more than seeking pleasant ones. Call me a loser, call me a pvssy, etc. I already think that of myself so that's not going to motivate me either.

You want to be motivated? You have to be disturbed.

Strip naked. Right now, let that huge gut out. Stand in front of the mirror and stare at all the areas that would give a woman nightmares.

Are you disturbed? Because being disturbed creates motivation, a drive to change.

Don't let yourself use excuses, or softeners like "I'm better than i used to be" or something along the lines.

This is your life. You get one chance at it. You're screwed up most of it, but you still have a chance to live 10 years and feel more fulfilled than you did living 30.

There is no excuses. Get a course by Anthony Robbins called "Get The Edge".

Seriously, i think in your case, it will have huge impact on your life.

 

[Holland]

He'll probably be to lazy to reply.
I don't get these people.
Maybe it's because they have never tasted the fruits of succes and they have convinced themselves that it isn't worth it.
Well, at least you're doing a job, so you won't be living out of the money of the rest of the people.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Like the others have said; We can help you if you want, however we can't make you want. That's your own choice.

 

[spider_007]

why do i do it?

because i'm stuborn....I want to make all those people that told me i couldn't do it, my bittches.

 

[lookyoung]

Things you need to do.........

1. Go to the library and read some motivational books.
2. Get rid of the video game system. (for idiots).
3. Set some goals.
4. Get to the gym ASAP.
5. Join a martial art.
6. Don't spend anytime on internet(unless its for gaming pu$$y or getting tips from sosuave.(Look in Donjuan tips section.. This is where the best advice is.


Now get up and do something with your lazy A$$ and make it a point to do something with yourself.

 

[Ripper]

You'll regret it in 50 years time. That's if you live that long...

 

[KUSHVILLE]

Work on your resume, and apply for higher-paying jobs. Maybe, try to get a personal trainer, to help motivate you with your workouts.

 

[CrunchyNut]

Odd suggestion, but read The Ethics by Baruch Spinoza. Two reasons. Firstly it is a pretty tough going philosophical book, so reading it is in itself an accomplishment. Secondly it gives some fantastic advice on life and how to break free of the bondage of your own personality.

 

[FatHairyM4F]

I realize now that I don't need anyone to make me believe it's worth the trouble to become a success, realize my full potential, etc. Because I can make myself believe anything I want to. I've done it before I can do it again. Basically you bullsh!t yourself until you start to believe it (I say that just because it seems like a load of bullsh!t at first if you've never believed like that before). It's just a matter of not procrastinating and getting busy doing it.

So thanks to all who have responded and you have helped, believe me. One last question: what about trying to "win the love" of a particular woman and using that as my motivation? Am I right in assuming that that is doomed to failure, because going to that much effort to get one particular woman (or I guess women in general) is an AFC motivation to begin with? Or is it a matter of using whatever you can to motivate yourself, even if it is an AFC-like motivation? I don't believe I need this as a motivation, just wondering what you all would recommend concerning that.

 

[thefonz]

I believe you do want to change, if not then why post this in the first place?

I came across a journal on pubmed.org that talked about how to relieve stress and feelings of inadequecy. It states that often times when people want to improve they often try to fix their problems with money, relationships, and health (in that order) and can't seem to progress.

If you want to improve yourself start with health then work on relationships and then figure out the money thing.

 

[Kev07]

Because, if you like doing what you're doing, then keep doing it. if you ddon't like what your current situation is, go out and change it. not that hard to figure out.

in your situation, if you would like to stay home and play PS2 all day long, then keep doing it. just hope you die before you get too old or else you'll most likely end up homeless with an income of $11 an hour

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Might as well kill yourself.