Why this site won't get any better

[Fender]

Now before I start, I'd like to say...

I love this site. It's changed my life. No complaints.

But I always see guys complaining how sh*t this site is getting. How theres no new stuff, AFC's just come in and whine, flaming, etc.

I think this site won't get any better than this. You know why?

Because Attraction is simple . There isn't actually that much to it. Ask all the "master" DJ's around here and they'll say how EASY and SIMPLE this stuff is. The second you try to study it and look into the finer details, you SCREW UP.

Everyone formulates these complicated battle plans when their whole game can be summarised into a sentance.

Pooks is "Be a Man- Embrace your sexuality"

David Deangelo's is "Be ****y and Funny"

AD is "Only surround yourself with women that are attracted"

Pook has made TRILLIONS of post's and yet, his entire frame of mind can be summarized in that little sentance. DYD has written books and made video's and writes weekly newsletters but all of them say the same thing...C&F!

I've been lurking around this site for about a year. But in the past.....10 months, I haven't learnt anything new. I've learnt everything I needed to know in the first month. HECK! I learnt all I needed to learn by reading 10 posts!

But it's not what you know that counts, it's what you experience. I see people hangin' round this site, reading post after post after post. These people are trying to replace experience with knowledge. Lemme tell you somthing..

It won't work!!!

So just take the most important "core" points of this site and go out there and make your OWN game plan. Get your self some experience, a few battle scars. It can actually be liberating to screw up!

Just remeber:

"ATTRACTION IS SIMPLE"

-peace-

 

[Fender]

Sh*tzer, wrong section. Can someone please move this. Thx.

-peace-

 

[TedJustAdmitIt]

Good post...especially the part about learning everythng in the first month:yes:

 

[On_the_Top]

Meh.........

With the exception of this golden age people speak of (I guess I came too late and therefore missed it,) this site has always been like this.

The thing is as far as I can remember there has always been and will always continue to be these categories of posters

-Posting about their experiences
-Stroking their egos
-Trying to prove something
-Whinny AFCs
-Trying to help others
-wannabe philosophers
- and others who just come here to screw around (we will call them other)

Some people fall into just one or two of these categories, others (you all call them key board jockeys ) fall into all of them.

You take the good along with the bad. I see nothing wrong with posting here occasionally. As long at you are either satisfied with your real life and or at least trying to improve it, your straight.

Btw, I agree with a lot of your post.

 

[Visceral]

If attraction is simple and natural, then why do so many believe that it's not and act accordingly (following rules, techniques, etc)?

If you're right, then how can we all get beyond rules and techniques and act on our natural instincts and desires, even those of us who don't have any experience?

 

[Sanity_Cleaver]

Originally posted by Visceral
If attraction is simple and natural, then why do so many believe that it's not and act accordingly (following rules, techniques, etc)?

If you're right, then how can we all get beyond rules and techniques and act on our natural instincts and desires, even those of us who don't have any experience?

Because they read too many gay-arse posts thats why! Saying theres a lot of keyboard jockeys on this site is like saying the New York phone directory has a lot of numbers.

So i agree, this site will never get any better- all its getting is clogged up with ****.

To answer your second question Visceral, YOU JUST DO IT
You say instinct dont you? Instincts should be easy to act upon, after all they are instinct arent they? If some grubby caveman popped up from behind a bush and hurled a rock at you, would you duck? Of course you would, its instinct! You dont think about ducking, you just do it- whether youre experienced in ducking rocks or not. Even if you have non experience and you reduce yourself to a pile of human rubble at least you gained some in doing so.

Experience will teach you 10 billion times better than any ego boosting crap you wallow in day after day here. To anyone sitting behind a keyboard right now, fvck off, you wont learn jack crap here. I've been hovering around here for the last 5 months, i learnt more from doing 10 cold approaches than i did in 5 months of reading. You all just come here becuase of the ego trip you get by knowing something anyway. Like Fender said- you substitute experience for knowledge, and you wonder why youre getting nowhere.

Read one or two of Pook's posts, read a bit Anti-Dump, read the 7 Elements of Charisma post and most importantly 'How to be a DJ (my most enlightened post yet)' by Jariel to get yourself a grounding on reality, then open up the Boot Camp and never touch these forums again.

 

[spider_007]

Re: Re: Why this site won't get any better

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
[B As time goes on people on the quest to be a DJ will get more experience and write better posts! [/B]

or, once they learn all they can, they just might go get a life and not come back. (like pook)

There is a lot of good info on this site. BUT I WISH IT WAS MORE COMPACT AND MORE ORGANIZED. Once pook writes HIS BOOK, I might just say bye bye to this site.....

 

[undesputable]

i have a question.....how long has this forum been up? 6 or 7 years right?

id say that people that really try to get better and really learn this stuff take around a year or 2. is normal that the people who become really good posters and make this forum better will go, bc this site wont help them get any better. only full time real DJing will help someone with good foundations and good experience get better. stop complaining that this site wont get any better....the best stuff that helped the best become the best is still here, do a search, read the bible, get some experience, become a good poster, make the forum better, and leave. let the cycle continue without any whining.

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

"AD is "Only surround yourself with women that are attracted""

Who is AD?

 

[Triple X]

Anti-Dump.

 

[fender85]

Dammit Fender, your name confuses the hell out of me, I almost thought that I had started this thread. Anyway, regarding the supposed "golden days" . . . whether they were really that great I'm not sure because I came to the site during that specific time period, so EVERYTHING was new and great to me. I do agree with people over-analyzing many things though.

 

[Fender]

Attraction isn't easy and natural for some people because they don't get it. It's that simple.

No new news for you guys but:

we've been programmed by society to be wussies

The hard part in this whole "game" isn't the attraction part, it's the "fighting against society" part that's tough. The REAL battle is killing that little voice in your head that's been brainwashed by romance novels and fairy tales.

If we presented this stuff to a 5 yr old (assuming he could read this stuff of course) and exposed it to him, until he was a teen, guess what kinda man he'll turn into?

But theres another thing I wanna discuss about...techniques. I'm inclined to think that techniques sprout from a deep sense of insecurtiy and inadequacy. Basically we're saying:

"I ain't good looking/confident/charming/sexy enough so I'll just use some DJ "techniques" and spread my legs 40 degrees to the left and call back in 4.34908576 days...."

That my friend is NOT simple and it certainty AIN'T natural.

Don Rokcstar, I agree that both experience and knowledge are needed to improve yourself. But they're only useful if they integrate into ACTION. Just cause you KNOW something doesn't mean you'll do it. Just as likely, just because experience has taught you to something, it needs to be turned into ACTION for it to be useful. Just cuz you learnt the lesson, doesn't mean you'll pass the test.

And thanks to all you people who are calling me a whiner. I guess some people just don't like reading carefully...

"Now before I start, I'd like to say...

I love this site. It's changed my life. No complaints. "

-peace-

 

[belividere]

Alright Fender,
Without question of whether you are right or wrong instead of complaining why dont you contribute? Can you guess how many times this arguement gets brought up every month? Who fvcking cares? You learned everything in a month? Great, tell us what mattered that you have learned vs. what didn't. If those simple sentences turned around your life then explain why. What do you do differently know than before? My inclination is that most folks come on here and think they know what is going on in a short time but fail to realize the long term commitments of what this site has given. By what means have you embraced your sexuality, how are you ****y and funny and what is your criteria for surrounding yourself with women who are attracted to you?

This site is only what we make of it. If you want to contribute on how to realize any of these goals than people will listen. If you want to argue the simplicity or merit than expect counter-arguments from people who have realized how unexpected life is. Nobody keeps people here, go ahead and walk away if you please. Can discussion really harm anyone though?

 

[Fender]

belividere, you totally misunderstood the main message of my post here.

I didn't come here to complain or to strike up some argument with people I don't know on the other side of the world (I live in China )

The main message I wanna share is that Attraction is simple. Why are people making it so complicated? In fact, I find dealing with you guys to be more confusing and tough than dealing with chicks. But we enjoy the challange, don't we?:woo:

And I can't tell you directly what has worked for me and what didnt because

a) Everyone here will have different things that'll work for them (no one, I mean NO ONE here is in the exact same position)

b) If it truely works, it is often times exteremely hard to describe it to others and teach them. Personally, I find that the things that allow me the greatest happiness and success with women are found DEEP DEEP down. No amount of posting or arguing can justify that inner feeling of strength.

How can you find that inner feeling of strength?

Go out there and take risks! Live and learn!

What I'm hoping you guys will do is find the few general nuggets of gold found here and go out there to try them out- make your own rules! To get you started, here are the two "nuggets" that I found most useful:

-Confidence

-Be sexual

Easy! Simple! Almost f*ckin' INFANTILE!

-peace-

 

[Jariel]

I agree wholeheartedly. Getting caught up on the 100s of rules, techniques, warning signs, how you should be talking, walking, and what you should say etc etc, you really make things complicated, unenjoyable and stand to make yourself paranoid, if not a damn schizo!

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by Fender


we've been programmed by society to be wussies

The hard part in this whole "game" isn't the attraction part, it's the "fighting against society" part that's tough. The REAL battle is killing that little voice in your head that's been brainwashed by romance novels and fairy tales.

An extremely enlightening and intelligent point. The problem with AFCs is really down to bad habits they pick up from the media and society rather than their lack of c+f or being a nice guy etc. If they eliminate these bad habits, attraction is simple.

But as I've said in a previous post, seduction is supplication, meaning anything you do with the sole intention of getting a woman is unnatural and humble.

 

[h2o]

hey just want to add my 2 cents. i think a reason the/you guys who are complaining are doing so is because you're the ones who have finally got it down and will be leaving in the next several months / year or so (although i don't mean to tell you to leave or anything).

i really love this forum, i have learned a lot by reading. but i think some guys like me take it like a course. i read, then go out and do cold approaches. make mistakes, reflect, hopefully get some feedback, read some, then go back into the real world and improve. i did grasp a whole lot more in the first month, but sometimes it's good to go back and read something to remind yourself.

yes, you need to balance experience and a little reading. without either one though, you wouldn't get too far. the thing is, when most of us were afc and came here, we were scared of approaching to the point where tips/techniques gave us a nice crutch until we became comfortable with certain situations. a good analagy when you learned how to ride a bike. at first, you were given training wheels. once you got used to how it felt, you realized that not only do you not need training wheels, but that you could ride with your eyes closed and your hands behind your back.

same thing with attraction. i think anyone who's done approaches or made any effort to get into the real world to improve will realize that these tips/techniques don't mean sh*t when you are just yourself and rely on instinct. i've personally come to realize that eyecontact, body language, c&f, neg hits, kino, and all that stuff that's overkilled on this site comes completely naturally when you DON't think about it. just be yourself, of course. but for some of us it's easier said than done because we're already at that level.

i completely agree that the biggest challenge is to truly know, love, and be comfortable with yourself. once you become comfortable with who you really are, confidence will never go away. but that really doesn't happen overnight for most. for me, it took 5-6 months of trying tips/techniques/canned lines from this site, and i'm finally understanding it recently. I think Francisco d'Anconia put it best:

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
The problem is that you guys are making the numbers more important than the skill, as if you do something 100 times it will automatically make it better than if you do it 10 times. It doesn't make a difference if you do it 1000 times if you aren't focusing on the skills.

Have you noticed that the guys having the most problems are not posting about actual interactions that they've had? They just focus on "I do this and it doesn't work." They do not or can not give any feedback of what happened during the interaction. I'm assuming that they are so focused on the steps instead of the actual experience. Once you guys learn that there is no recipe, you will see success.

Getting to know women isn't the problem you guys are having, it's getting to know yourself in a way that is different than what you have been accustomed to.

correct me if I'm wrong Francisco, but what he's saying is that all the experience in the world won't help you if you don't realize what you're doing wrong. and yes, he also states that too many are trying to use techniques/steps, instead of trying to discover or understand themselves on a deep level...the same thing you talk about Fender.

overall, what i'm saying in this post is, let this site be. i love it, if some guys can't/won't go and experience and post useless sh*t about tips/techniques let that be their loss. some of us truly appreciate this site and learn more and more each day. and for the most part, you can't make all the mistakes yourself, some you have to learn from others.

one last thing i gotta add is that you started this topic on "attraction." that is only the first step...not the only thing. because if it was, you even wouldn't be here to post this.

btw, Jariel, wanted to say i forgot all about this quote, but i love it...and it's also very applicable here:

“Stop trying to control everything and just let go…let go!” – Tyler Durden, Fight Club.

 

[belividere]

How many "DJ"s does it take to make this site thrive?

3. One to post and the other two to sit back and argue how the old site was so much better.

Yes attraction is simple. As h2o wrote though attraction is the first step. By the time I had found this site I had already truly believed that attracting women wasn't as difficult as many people make it out to be.

Everyone here has different goals and different reasons for being here. Just because I can attract women does not necessarily mean that I can hold onto them or get into fulfilling LTR's with them. Lurking around here for a bit re-invigorated my inner game. I've picked up a lot of information that can be employed not only in my current and future relationships but in life. There is a larger pool of knowledge on this site than just that regarding attraction.

Funny but I'm willing to guess that 5 years from now people will be regarding the recent gems around here like Jariels and senor fingers recent posts as well as others as the classics from the glory days of this site. Not trying to be insulting but for lack of a better word I think it is somewhat foolish to think that you are armed with the knowledge to overcome anything women can throw at you after a month of reading and experiences. What this site preaches takes years of experiences and knowledge to truly achieve. It's funny because the other day I was doing some reading from the bible and I had re-read some stuff that I read when I first got here only to find my interpretations of them very different now. Trust me stick around keep reading. If you feel you are past the stages of attraction than read into other areas like LTR's or health and fitness.

 

[Trumpetman]

The way I see it is AD's method is all about defense. Only hang out with attracted chicks becuase they like you and give you confidence. Go for unattracted chicks, they reject you, you get hurt. DD's ****y and funny method is almost being an ******* but it still works on chicks. I think Pook's be a Man message is the best however. Being a man works with chicks but it also helps ya out with your mates. Being a Man is all about bettering yourself and I think AD and DD are missing somethings

 

[The-Sultan]

i agree, when i first came here i was a good fliter, some negative people got me negative and made me shy for a year, but now im not shy, i dont come to this site much, mayb once a month or so, because experience is better then anything you can EVER read.