Advice from the old lady:
This is a classic thread. Seriously. Women look for men who are capable of handling financial responsibility for a family for marriage IF they want to have children. Why is that? Pregnancy and childbirth is perilous. You can end up on bed rest, you could be seriously injured giving birth, you might medically require a longer recovery period, FMLA aside.
Or, as is usual in affluent families, you might want the mother of you child to be able to focus on being a good mother and caregiver and wife. That is luxury and is itself a status symbol. The luxury of the man being able to be the breadwinner and provide a comfortable life for his family, and affording this requires financial means. Families who have this luxury/status look down on the two income households, since the two income households can’t afford the lifestyle on single breadwinner income alone.
I was kind of a Sigma in this way as I was a female sole breadwinner in my first marriage for decades. So I was at once respected and rejected among the stay at home moms in my social circles. Our dynamic was backwards, and my first husband was not held in high esteem but rather dissed by the men who were providing for their families. We didn’t fit the mold and were not fully accepted as a result.
Nothing wrong with that.
Now. You want a woman who wants you for you, and obviously who has sexual desire for you, but any quality woman with an eye toward marriage and family is going to consider your financial ability as part of your total package. I personally do not seek out men solely for financial means, but if a man does not have his life together in that way? Pass. ALL men I would consider are attractive and well off. That’s how it is. Those are prerequisites. From there you look for compatibility and so on.
That is how any healthy self esteem sought after attractive woman is going to size up a guy. Just as men size up women based on total package.
Providers get smeared around here because certain men who have not accomplished much in life in a success oriented way are jealous/envious of provider type men since these men know they are “less-than” in comparison.
Yes women want the rockstar-banker combo someone mentioned above. And those rockstar-banker types? They exist and they get the best quality women. I have one. So men who know they lack by comparison are jealous. Hell, my first husband is jealous of my fiancé.
My father was an Alpha provider all his life, as were ALL the elder male relatives in my family.
Chumps are chumps no matter how much they earn. If all a man brings to the table is money? Sure he can get a gold digger woman who is just as one dimensional as he is.
Water always seeks its own level gentleman.
Cheers
