Why the F'k do I care when an ex hooks up!!

[st_99]

Why do I get kind of ticked off when an ex gets into a new relationship?

I can HONESTLY say I have no interest in her whatsoever and havnt for a long time.. We were together for a long time on and off and I decided to break it off for good many months ago. There are soooo many things wrong with this girl its not even funny. The list goes on and on, too much to even list. So why then do I get this uneasy anxiety type feeling now that she is involed with someone else? I hate that I feel this way, its just not right. BTW, she tried to hook back up with me a couple times and I flat out refused..

 

[Docs]

Because you're alone?

 

[coldcoal]

It's because nobody (namely men in general) have asked for your approval. It's that lack of respect from other men that's pissing you off so much. Has nothing to do with her. You're good. You're healthy. You should be ticked off about it. It's completely natural to be competitive. It'll pass, especially when that beautiful, new piece of ass comes along.

 

[unorthodox]

Because you put yourself above her and truly want to see her fail in her life. On unconscious level of course.

There are 3 exercises DeAngelo talks about, life line, projected self image, and I like myself. Find out how and do those, I guess.

 

[st_99]

Because you're alone?

Yes I am alone but that doesnt give my brain the right to feel the way it does. Wether she is alone or with somebody wont change MY life in any way shape or form. Knowing that I shouldnt be feeling anything but I do. Your mind can be cruel at times...

 

[st_99]

Because you put yourself above her and truly want to see her fail in her life. On unconscious level of course.

There are 3 exercises DeAngelo talks about, life line, projected self image, and I like myself. Find out how and do those, I guess.

Hmmm, there could be something to what you said.

 

[Docs]

Maybe there's that subconconsious...feeling of protectiveness...even though you want nothing to do with her, you want to make sure it's all good, or that you feel that she's gone from you, something like that.

 

[coldcoal]

Maybe there's that subconconsious...feeling of protectiveness...even though you want nothing to do with her, you want to make sure it's all good, or that you feel that she's gone from you, something like that.

What a f*cking sewing circle.

Look, it's completely natural to not like the idea that another man is moving in on your turf, whether you voluntarily abandoned that sh*t or not doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with the idea that you're trying to touch base with your own f*cking sappy emotions to figure out whether you're truly over some girl. That's chick talk right there.

Deep down inside your pissed off because you know some other dude is tapping a piece of ass that you at one point thoroughly enjoyed yourself. That's all there is to it. You're not struggling with inner self and identity. You just don't like the idea that another buck is f*cking your doe.

Primal. Normal. Stop questioning it like you're Oprah freakin Winfrey.

 

[st_99]

What a f*cking sewing circle.

Look, it's completely natural to not like the idea that another man is moving in on your turf, whether you voluntarily abandoned that sh*t or not doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with the idea that you're trying to touch base with your own f*cking sappy emotions to figure out whether you're truly over some girl. That's chick talk right there.

Deep down inside your pissed off because you know some other dude is tapping a piece of ass that you at one point thoroughly enjoyed yourself. That's all there is to it. You're not struggling with inner self and identity. You just don't like the idea that another buck is f*cking your doe.

Primal. Normal. Stop questioning it like your Oprah Winfrey.

I think that pretty much sums it up..:box:

 

[Docs]

What a f*cking sewing circle.

FYI, every case is different. I've had a ex for three years, and I'm completely over her, but I'm still friends with her, and damn protective. I dont' know why, but meh.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

Because you're a gutless guy who's a ***** also.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Because you're alone?

 

[coldcoal]

FYI, every case is different. I've had a ex for three years, and I'm completely over her, but I'm still friends with her, and damn protective. I dont' know why, but meh.

Time and good realtions, that's why. I'm still friends with an ex I had 15 years ago. If some guy tried to pull this DJ quick sh*t on her I would definately step in to set it straight. So I know what you're talking about here.

But my guess is that this girl you're talking about wasn't the kind of girl that you were in a f*cked up, "I hate you" sitaution with, at least not for very long. Am I right? Some realtionships end unfortunately, but it doesn't always mean it has to be nasty and unforgiving forever. You and I have had the fortunate experience of getting beyond that crap, and it's good stuff. You know this, I'm sure. We know that at some point true friendship becomes priority over all this stomping ground stuff, but if it never really gets that far, then it's all raw, primal emotion until something else comes along to make us forget.

 

[Delta]

watch "closer"....

an answer could be that "you're a fvcking cave man"....

sense of ownership. that is yours. and you've had a strong emotional bond/attachment. one thing that intimacy does is it starts cementing the two of you together. common wisdom says that this is stronger in women than in men but it could be that it just functions differently.

completely natural.

delta

 

[resilient]

common wisdom says that this is stronger in women than in men but it could be that it just functions differently

How do you know that they are that jealous of an ex?

...So I know most women are not friends with other women because they can never get along socially very long because of their insecurities, but I don't know about possesivenes over one's territory. Most women could go out and get laid tonight if they have a decent body. Hell, even warpigs/ugs pull from desperate AFCs. I know a lot of dudes that are pulling from women that are already in relationships just from a few messages back and forth on myspace - it's disgusting.

When they break up with their bfs a lot already have another branch to jump to or at least a f-buddy to help them get over their last ex... men don't have this option. Very rarely, do I see a woman hurt over a lost relationship very long. She's always spinning plates when she sees the relationship ending or her interest level drops.

Once women seal the deal with a new guy, psychologically they break the soul-ties of their last b/f and associate their affections with the new one.

Women are hardly single very long before they have another option built to go. Us men have to work hard on game and so many other areas of our lives before we can pull easier.

 

[DarkLight]

Once women seal the deal with a new guy, psychologically they break the soul-ties of their last b/f and associate their affections with the new one.

Well Said, well said!
Absolutely true.

 

[insanity]

st 99. i remember many years ago i was in the same position as you. i was dating this vixen and she was a firecracker in bed. this girl literally set the standard of how women should act in bed. but like most relationships. this one fizzled out. even though i knew she wasn't the one for me it bothered me how fast she moved on. she called me a few times then a month later. nothing nothing.

i finally made it back into the dating scene, when i got an email from the firecracker saying how much she missed me and i told her it was to late and i was now dating someone else. but i used the line "we could be friends" and she accepted.

after 2 years the relationship i was in fell apart and i emailed the firecracker. i told her how i missed my ex and i was wondering if there was anything i could do to move on and forget about her. and the firecracker unleashed probably the most important info i ever recieved from a girl. it forever changed my oneitis habits.

she said go out and meet a girl and screw your ex out of your system. i was kinda confused at the logic but it eventually made sense. the firecracker told me that when me and her broke up. she said she missed me alot but when her friends took her to the bar 2 days later. she met a guy and had sex with him. it made her forget about me. i was shocked because while i was sitting home waiting for the call she was out having fun and getting laid forgetting about me. she said it works everytime.

so i thought about what she said and instead of waiting around thinking about my ex i took her advice and went out and met some women. that same night i seen my ex out doing the same thing- moving on!

the firecracker has now been replaced. but if i sat around wondering what this ex and that ex are doing now i would have never met the girl im with now.

 

[Delta]

How do you know that they are that jealous of an ex?

depends on who dumped who.

if she bailed, then the guy is barely even a memory. same for a guy right? if you got sick of her and left, then you wouldn't care.

but if she GOT DUMPED when she had tremendous feeling for him, then it's probably the same for a girl as a guy.

so yeah, if a chick dumped you, she's not thinking of you. if you dump a chick (probably because you found someone hotter), then you don't care.

same difference.

delta.

 

[ScrewIt]

a possiblity is the idea of wanting what we cant have. Subconsciously we want our ego fed.

Cant quite say its the same for everyone, im still friends with the ex and hangout occasionally. Now if she started seeing someone else i doubt i would care much.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Why do I get kind of ticked off when an ex gets into a new relationship?

I can HONESTLY say I have no interest in her whatsoever and havnt for a long time.. We were together for a long time on and off and I decided to break it off for good many months ago. There are soooo many things wrong with this girl its not even funny. The list goes on and on, too much to even list. So why then do I get this uneasy anxiety type feeling now that she is involed with someone else? I hate that I feel this way, its just not right. BTW, she tried to hook back up with me a couple times and I flat out refused..

I know wat u mean i get the same way when i see my ex dating a guy and lookin all happy. I think it just hurts r ego to know that we weren't that special to her, i mean obviosuly we know shes gonna move on and date other guys, but at the time, when they were dating us we were their universe, and now some toher guy is, it kinda kills that feelin of importance we had. i think thats it. Also u always have feelings for people, even if its down way deep,u still have some feeling for ur exes, so u r kinda jealous, simple as that.