Why the double standard

[comote]

I am here to answer why the sexual double standard exists. It is very simple and I am surprised it has to be explained to some.
Women are the gatekeepers of sex, sorry if it is unfair but that is simply how it is. It is a man's duty to try and get sex from a woman he is attracted to and it is a woman's duty to turn him away as long as possible.
Only men will make the comment if I can get into her pants that easily she is not worthy of a long term relationship. Yet they will still try and get into the girls pants right away.
Do I care if a girl gives it up on the first night, actually no I don't, what people do is their own business, but if a girl thinks that sleeping with me on the first night is going to get her a bf then she is in for a shock.
For me personally it actually has nothing to do with morals, it has more to do with feminity. I do not find that it is feminine for a woman to sleep around. This is a masculine trait. As well as I simply don't feel that it is something I could ever look past.
Guys if you like slutty girls go get em, I do as well, but don't complain when she screws your best friend before the wedding.
Girls if you want to be slutty by all means do, and let me know, we can hook it up. But don't be surprised if the guys that you are interested in only look at you as a piece of a$$ and nothing more.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by comote
...Girls if you want to be slutty by all means do, and let me know, we can hook it up. But don't be surprised if the guys that you are interested in only look at you as a piece of a$$ and nothing more.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel that there is a hidden message here?

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

To be honest I'll never completely understand guys... So many guys on this site say if a girl "turns them away" for too long, they will drop her... so please, comote, enlighten us... when are we supposed to "open the gates"?

I mean sometimes I think you guys are dreaming... you want girls who aren't "slutty", meaning they don't sleep with everyone, but wait, you do expect them to sleep with YOU right? And they're supposed to be good in bed when they do... so all these virgins are sitting around reading Cosmo learning how to turn their man on and then off and then on when finally the time comes that they are lucky enough for a guy to think they are worthy of a relationship (while in the meantime, these guys are off ****ing everyone?)

Okay here is one thing I never really got about the whole "double standard"... It's okay for guys to **** everything in sight, but girls shouldn't **** anyone... Then who are these guys supposed to be ****ing? I guess the slutty girls have some purpose in life. (Phew).

Listen, anyone girl who thinks that sleeping with a guy on the first date is the way to get a boyfriend is out of her mind... but what is the big deal if she does huh? I mean, don't lie and say you don't care if a girl "gives it up" on the first date, because obviously you do care about that ... I mean that IS the topic of the thread is it not? Or are you just trying to find out who the slutty girls are so we can "hook it up"

Anyway, I'm not going to beat this subject to death... if you want to read THAT you can go to GirlsAreTrix's thread...

http://sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=35336

 

[spanky]

For me personally it actually has nothing to do with morals, it has more to do with feminity. I do not find that it is feminine for a woman to sleep around. This is a masculine trait.

We are speaking of humans here, right? Because if we are, a whooooooole lot of women have not been holding up to your system for a loooooooong time.

 

[squirrels]

*sigh*

Sometimes I think that labelling a woman a "slut" is just an AFC's way of justifying not trying (or not being able to) hook up with her.

Now there are some girls who WILL F everything that moves. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that...but the potential for disease is a lot higher. That's a risk you take, though.

Lots of times, guys will label a girl a "slut" or "*****" for sleeping around, but they'd be "up in it" just as quick.

Same guys who go around complaining about how all women are shallow b****es and whine about finding a girl with intelligence and character and depth and personality, then within a week you see them posting about some blonde bimbo they just met and wondering what to do.

So much for standards. We f**k the people who attract us enough sexually. Bottom line.

 

[Walden]

Thats totally it squirrels.

If a chump can't get with a girl even though she likes to play, he calls her a slut!

Tho I am in the 3rd date camp. If it hasn't gone over by then it probably never will.

 

[bugsquish]

Posted this on another thread, but it seems more relevant here.

I think guys are like women. We THINK we want one thing but actually want something else.

Sure, we want sex - on the surface. We're impatient. We want it NOW. We want it YESTERDAY. But it's the seduction that keeps the sex interesting. Sure if you start to lose hope you start to lose interest. But the more you have to work for something the more value it has to you once your hard work pays off.

We know that most women will feel a closer bond with a guy after the first screw no matter how early this takes place. On the other hand, the guy is more likely to start looking around for other chicks if his prize came to easily. There's a fine line between how much the guy is prepared to wait and how long the woman should wait to keep his interest after the initial screw. Bottom line though, is that the longer she waits the more respect the couple will have for each other.

I met the girl of my dreams, and she's now my GF. The problem is she had sex with me on the first date. It feels strange saying this but I REALLY WISH WE HAD WAITED. I can't see fault in the relationship, but I cheated on her. I didn't think I would but I did - very drunk but still. Just kissed someone. The fact is though:

I don't understand why, but even though I think she's perfect for me, I feel that subconsciously her value has gone down somehow in my mind since we had sex so soon. Even though I wanted it.

At the point I cheated on her, I would STILL have been happy waiting for her. What's more, I probably wouldn't have been so actively looking elsewhere! I am an insatiable rampant beast, but I think she could have tamed me by waiting a little longer. She really is that cool. I'm trying to make it work still....

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Sexy_Malibu
I mean sometimes I think you guys are dreaming... you want girls who aren't "slutty", meaning they don't sleep with everyone, but wait, you do expect them to sleep with YOU right? And they're supposed to be good in bed when they do... so all these virgins are sitting around reading Cosmo learning how to turn their man on and then off and then on when finally the time comes that they are lucky enough for a guy to think they are worthy of a relationship (while in the meantime, these guys are off ****ing everyone?)

Yea, like there is ONE chick in every town running around screwing everyone, so as to keep the number of "studs" high and the number of "sluts" low.

These clowns are so blinded by their desire to find a low-mileage piece of ass that they deny the fact that women fukk as much as men do. They are the ones believing everything a woman tells them regarding sexual history, because they desperately WANT to believe them.

Clueless, they are....

 

[spanky]

So much for standards. We f**k the people who attract us enough sexually. Bottom line.

True.

What kills me is a guy who will sleeps around but comes down on a broad for doing so too. Except for one thing, the consequences of sleeping around are equal opportunists (That one being how society views one compared to the other). I am sure time will eventually iron this thing out but hey, I like my women comfortable with their sexuality and experienced. As long as she practices safe sex and doesn't do sh*t like f*uck her best friend's man and crap like that.

You look down upon me for sleeping around and I'll tell you to kiss my a$$ and I would expect the same response from a broad but many will just be overwhelmed by society's view of them.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Yea, like there is ONE chick in every town running around screwing everyone, so as to keep the number of "studs" high and the number of "sluts" low.

I'm glad I've finally found my calling in life.

These clowns are so blinded by their desire to find a low-mileage piece of ass that they deny the fact that women fukk as much as men do. They are the ones believing everything a woman tells them regarding sexual history, because they desperately WANT to believe them.

Anway, I have so many friends that sleep with guys they are just attracted to or just have fun with, but then they wait with the guy they really like, so he won't think they are slutty. I say this in so many threads I almost want to slap MYSELF for repeating it again, but you guys only THINK your girls haven't had sex as much as me.

 

[STR8UP]

Yea, I don't care if you are the kind of guy who will only marry a snow white vigin, but you're pretty damn clueless if you refuse to believe the truth about what REALLY goes on.

These guys want desperately to belive that their little angel is pure when in reality she was someone else's sex toy the week before.

I know a few studies have been conducted that shed new light on the fact that women's sexuality is different than was past believed, but due to societal pressures I doubt we will EVER know the 100% truth.

Believe whatever keeps you happy, I don't care....

 

[Trapspringer]

Anway, I have so many friends that sleep with guys they are just attracted to or just have fun with, but then they wait with the guy they really like, so he won't think they are slutty. I say this in so many threads I almost want to slap MYSELF for repeating it again, but you guys only THINK your girls haven't had sex as much as me.

No, no, Malibu.......we do realize that our girls have had just as much sex as you. Really.

 

[comote]

You all are misunderstanding the message. Don't hate on the messenger. Yes, we live in a different world, people are "allowed" to be as free as they want. Personally, yes I will not hesitate to try and sleep with a slutty girl, why not, I am a man and it is still socially acceptable for me to do that. In fact, if I sleep with alot of women it is condidered a good thing. For women it is not considered as such a good thing. Why, because it is easier for most women to get sex than it is for most men.
Again, I am here simply to explain in my view why the double standard exists. If that upsets you, well sorry.
By the way, I think a girl should give it up whenever she damn well feels like it. The girls I have been with seriously it has normally been a month or two and I was happy with that. I actually am more interested if a girl turns me away a couple of times before we actually start hitting it. I have been with virgins and I have no problem if she is inexperienced, you can teach her to do things exactly the way you like them.
By the way, thanks Bugsquish, someone who actually gets what I am trying to say here.

 

[Solomon79]

Is it not true that a woman will look down on a guy who has had fewer sexual partners than her?

Or, at the very least, she DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW how many partners he has had? And what does this tell us? She doesn't want to know, because if it turns out he is in inexperienced, it will turn HER off...

Women believe that a guy who has had loads of women MUST be worth more, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to do it. They don't respect guys who attach emotion to sex, but it's okay for them to.

Now THAT'S what I call a double standard.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

These are true for me:

Women will sleep with someone on a 1st time meeting and then get hooked and try make an LTR out of it. If they know the guy well enough, like Malibu said, they might keep that 'prize' for later cos they want the LTR.

LTRs do work when the couple f'd on the 1st night.

Most girls my age or older have slept with quite a lot more people than me - it's a function of how easy it is. (I'm doing my best to rectify this situation)

Oscar.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

I have a tendency to see a woman as "slightly" slutty if she sleeps with guys on 1st dates.

Its nothing to do with jealousy. I'll explain why.


Firstly, maybe its because of my age. At 18, well women aren't really sleeping around too much (yet). The fact that most girls I've gone out with and had long-term stuff with were virgins or not experienced probably affects me too.

Secondly, because I tend to focus on the long-term, I WILL have alarm bells ring, even if she sleeps with ME on the first date (or suggests she wants to, seems more common). No, I won't see her as a complete slut or anything, but at the same time I will have mentally marked her off the list of "long-term" prospects. Then I would normally leave it at that.



There is no double standard. Women will treat players who only want sex (and nothing more) as pieces of meat, and men will always treat women who want sex on the first date as sluts.


Its not degrading, its simply logic. I refuse to have long-term relationships with women who put out too easily and to too many people, and I know women who refuse to get into anything with guys who go for sex first date and refuse to entertain notions of long-term relos.


If you can't cop it, then don't do it.

 

[GQ Prettyboy]

Ricki Lake said she slept with her husband on the first date. Now they`ve been married for about 10 years.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Solomon: I don't know if that's true. I wouldn't think badly of a guy who was more inexperienced than me (hell who isn't? ha ha) and I don't know too many girls who would. Maybe if he said he'd only slept with one person before I'd be like WTF!? but I'd have that reaction with anyone who said that.

GQ: You watch Riki Lake?

 

[GQ Prettyboy]

She be having some fine ass black women on there plus some of the topics are very interesting. Her show are always dealing with relationships.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Very good and valid points. You forgot to think about the purpose of this site, which is to teach men how to get around the barriers that women throw up quickly and easily.

When faced with a DJ in full possession of his powers and woman can't help but be wooed. It's not her fault she met a man with the ability to seduce her right out of her panties in 20 minutes or less. It's no more fair to blame a tornado for it's acts of destruction on a straw house built in tornado country.

It doesn't make the women easy when the come up against a master seducer who knows how to play women like a violinist in a concerto.

It doesn't make them less of a woman or less feminine when they find themselves drawn like a moth to a flame, to a dashing devil-may-care DJ.

We can't blame them when their resolves are melted like ice in the furnace of an awakened DJ's conversation and kino.

No we can't blame them one little bit...we just keep congradulating ourself on our conquests and keep creating more.