Why most sh!t test are a bad sign.

[jonwon]

allrighty jonwon. on instinct id do these...

What kind of car do you drive?
car??? (and give her a look as if i dont have one...maybe a...i dont follow kind of look...a shake of the head...what are you talkin about??? carrrrrrr?? nooooooooooo.)

What do you do for a living?
id play the dumb card with this one. job???.....you mean like....(id wait a bit).......oh u mean like work? nah..........nah. nothin. i got nothin. no job no job. but she knows i do have one and ill just never tell her. ill just keep it goin. and goin.

What kind of degree do you have?
degree??? (again...with the look...and a huge ass smirk)

You say this to all the girls, don’t you?
yeh. (nod head up and down super fast) yeh... yeh.

I’m not going to sleep with you
this ones good. ive actually had this one. i said in a nonchalant kind of way like its happened to me many time before. i said.....i know...i know... cos if you do youll be wanting to grab my willy.....i know. i know how it is. (big ass grin). she hit me. and later i got laid. go figure



your turn......

No, this is your turn, i'll give you an hand.


What kind of car do you drive?
car??? (and give her a look as if i dont have one...maybe a...i dont follow kind of look...a shake of the head...what are you talkin about??? carrrrrrr?? nooooooooooo.)

What this communicates:

'The question was important to me and i needed to say something to deflect, why it was important to me'

Hence, effected either way, either through: qualification to her or dismisal of the questions she asks.

What do you do for a living?
id play the dumb card with this one. job???.....you mean like....(id wait a bit).......oh u mean like work? nah..........nah. nothin. i got nothin. no job no job. but she knows i do have one and ill just never tell her. ill just keep it goin. and goin.

I like this one better, if this is done in a way where you 'dont have to qualify yourself' or 'fit her criteria' i like it.

But, if it is from a dismisal of her question, to deflect that it is important to you, i am not too sure.

What kind of car do you drive?
car??? (and give her a look as if i dont have one...maybe a...i dont follow kind of look...a shake of the head...what are you talkin about??? carrrrrrr?? nooooooooooo.)

Not too shabby, but can uses alot of work also, your still answering the question: Positivly or negativly.

Lets look at the positive aspect:
If a girl ask's this questions, i am not stating it is not ok, to simply reply with the truth.

But alot of guys make the mistake to reply to this stuff, to try to fill her 'critera' of needs, hence her 'agenda'.

The guys who can make the positive approach work are guys, who dont really care about her agenda at all, there judging her on 'how she interacts with you', hence they can answer the questions in a none 'qualify to her manner' there indifferent.

Now the negative:
You can use the negative approach also, but it still shows 'your concerned with her agenda' her 'CV (curriculam) or what she wants from a man, hence trying to fit what she wants again.

The guys who can make the negative approach work are guys, who dont really care about her agenda at all, there judging her on 'how she interacts with you', hence they can answer the questions in a none 'qualify to her manner' there indifferent.

Now lets analyz what was posted already, which to me is a better way:

What car do you drive:
A blue one<<<

This is baiting her to 'ask' more questions about the car, i.e become 'invested' also this shows he is not concerned if she likes if he has a car or not.

(also if she probes, it is a IOI, a girl with no interest or a BF or a dyke would not, there are many reasons she may not be into you)

If you do not have a car, you can take this further on her 'probing' and toss in something like:

'yeh its a porche 911 i keep it on my mantle piece'

Or:

You could then reply:

'hey, you like cars uh, tell you what, i'll do you deal, if you go buy me a drink, i may show it to you one day'.

Lets move on:

What do you do for a living:
Ass model (classic DD line this one).

This is ****y, funny, arrogant and not bothered about being PC(polliticly correct) hence you really are not in anyway shape or form trying to slot into anything (you think) she would want< which is a good thing.

But the ass model one, is over-used and abused.

We need to get more original ones up here, for this one.

The other one is in the same catagory.

But what i was requesting, swifty, is to come up with 'your own'.

Put some down on here, you dont have to memorize them, just have fun, when you turn on the right frame of being 'indifferent' to what 'she wants' no MATTER how hot she is, you can FIRE off great comebacks to what is fundimentally a:

Boring rhetorical question.

She knows it, you know it.

Try to take the angle, of being funny, but NOT to impress her, no not at all, the angle of Funny, making light of it, to NOT judge her on:

Being boring: (most girls are when interacting at first, they dont have the pleasure of this site).

But what she REALLY wants, is fun, entertainment, to be dragged away from the hum-drum life, to escape from the 9 to 5 working grind.

So what she wants, is a guy who is not predictable, is not boring and does not supplicate to her, she wants to be 'led' into a higher state of 'happiness', 'attraction' or consumed by the intreging mother fuc*er who is now testing her (high frame, most guys supplicate), so lead her.

Lets see it.

Also even if you get this nailed, you will still get rejected, be concurent, move on practice.

And most importantly.

Have fun, hence even if your 'rejected' you had fun in the process.

Rejection happens, no matter how good you are, but what i am trying to communicate is treating this has a bit of fun, to test her temprement.

Also, if she is a stuffy cow, why would you want her has a GF anyway.

So there great tests of her character, you then qualify her.

lets see some-more.

 

[jonwon]

Even though I'm not allowed to post here I WOULD like to know how some of you would have passed this specific test.

I'm getting hot & heavy make-out with a chick and feeling up etc etc. She has said to me in the past how she doesn't like being a "wh*re" and things of that sorts...again in the past just to keep that in mind. Her behavior tends to be somewhat a little bit more aggressive sexually sometimes because she is getting more comfortable around me and she is 27. While I'm focusing on the "moment" (kissing etc etc) at the time she out of nowhere throws a question at me that stumped the crap out of me...

"...Have girls in the past ACTED like I do with you before...? You know grabbing you and you know..."

By acted she means "slutty" or "whori*sh" or aggressive in HER eyes which is bad..I guess.

If I say NO it's bad...
If I say YES it's bad...

At the moment I couldn't think fast enough because the blood hadn't come back to my brain so I ended up saying YES...ugh! and she says..

"...oh so I'm just like all the other girls...? So I'm another fuk huh...?.."

Now that killed the whole mood..because well I'm sure you guys can figure it out from their. So how the hell would I have passed this crap. The thing I'm noticing is that when my guard goes down for a second this chick throws this crap at me. So what would have been the correct response...? :kick:

This is a typical response to a girl, who is REALLY INTO YOU, big time.

There are many reasons she may say this.

Just know one thing that usually works to a very very high degree.

IGNORE IT.

And carry on.

At that point, i would give her a smile, kiss her take her hand and tell her 'i think its time we got a cab back to mine'.

If she refuses, PERSIST< tell her:

'hey thats cool, lets get a cab back to mine, i have a great stamp collection for you to see'.

If she resists more:

Persist some more:

But do it in a light hearted way:

'laugh it off and say 'what type of guy do you take me for', lead her out of the club.

 

[ketostix]

This all decent stuff but I wouldn't consider her asking you a question like "what do you do for work" or "what kind of car do you drive" necessarily a sh!t test. They very well could be and it depends on the context, the car question likely would be because it's not a question a girl would normally ask. The job question is pretty common. If you can determine it's a sh!t test than giving her a vague or C+F answer is valid, but the fact that you have to do this presuppose sh!t tests are a bad sign. What I'm trying to say is if a girl is asking a question and you treat everything like a sh!t test you will come across as odd.

I just think there's better examples of sh!t tests. Although I can't think of any better ones off hand. But they usually have some aspect of her criticisng your actions or behavior unfairly, or her behavior or actions are disrespectful. Women will do things out of line, just to see how you react to it. You can't get too upset or concerned, but you don't want to supplicate and totally accept it either.

 

[ketostix]

Even though I'm not allowed to post here I WOULD like to know how some of you would have passed this specific test.

I'm getting hot & heavy make-out with a chick and feeling up etc etc. She has said to me in the past how she doesn't like being a "wh*re" and things of that sorts...again in the past just to keep that in mind. Her behavior tends to be somewhat a little bit more aggressive sexually sometimes because she is getting more comfortable around me and she is 27. While I'm focusing on the "moment" (kissing etc etc) at the time she out of nowhere throws a question at me that stumped the crap out of me...

"...Have girls in the past ACTED like I do with you before...? You know grabbing you and you know..."

By acted she means "slutty" or "whori*sh" or aggressive in HER eyes which is bad..I guess.

If I say NO it's bad...
If I say YES it's bad...

At the moment I couldn't think fast enough because the blood hadn't come back to my brain so I ended up saying YES...ugh! and she says..

"...oh so I'm just like all the other girls...? So I'm another fuk huh...?.."

Now that killed the whole mood..because well I'm sure you guys can figure it out from their. So how the hell would I have passed this crap. The thing I'm noticing is that when my guard goes down for a second this chick throws this crap at me. So what would have been the correct response...? :kick:

OK now this is a real sh!t test and one that doesn't mean she's disinterested in you. See how she totally blindsided you by asking a "seemingly" reasonable question to which you gave the reasonably right answer to, THEN she hit you with a ridiculous intepretation? Jonwon was right you should've ignored the first question. And if you were to answer it you should've sarcastically said "NO, you're way waaay worse". But after you answered the first question and saw what she was really up to with her second you should've tried to recover by answering hersecond question with something like my previous answer to her first question.

See the problem is you were thinking to yourself how can I answer this question best so she doesn't feel like a slut. This is logical. The problem I think was you had a supplicating mindset and she tricked you into revealing it to her.

 

[StevenR]

Isn't it messed up that relationships cannot be fun like they are supposed to be, but a constant battle of wills? I don't even know why I want one anymore, I am split on whether it is better to just be alone without the stress or to put up with so much B.S. from a woman. Or get rich and only fck high class prostitutes.

 

[iqqi]

Isn't it messed up that relationships cannot be fun like they are supposed to be, but a constant battle of wills? I don't even know why I want one anymore, I am split on whether it is better to just be alone without the stress or to put up with so much B.S. from a woman. Or get rich and only fck high class prostitutes.

Relationships aren't always like that, Steve. If you are going to have such a negative mindframe, then you are going to get negative results.

"Sh!t tests" are made to be much bigger and scarier on this site, than they really are in real acuality life.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

I believe sh!t tests are both a good and bad sign, mostly bad. Like any test it is pass or fail and most tests are made to fail a certain number of tests takers. a test giver is assuming the role of higher value. Anyway the good part of testing is a woman wouldn't generally bother to test a guy unless she has some interest. However, she wouldn't test if she didn't have some serious doubt and wasn't trying to see if you fail and therefore confirm her doubt.

I think women test on different things, but primarily two things. First on your strength and resolve, in other words baiting you to see how much you will supplicate or not. And second, on your interest level in her, such as trying to bait you into validating her, or to see if she can make you jealous.

Her testing on your strength, especially early on, is somewhat valid because you can easily pass this test by standing your ground without getting angry, and her attraction usually rises. However too much testing unprovoked by you(You weren't really being indecisive or weak, actually any unprovoked testing I think is bad) on strength is indicative of a bad sign because a decent female with high interest in you will naturally be submissive and pleased with you. But testing you on your interest and jealousy level seems to always be a bad sign even if provoked by you (You were witholding validation) because you can rarely pass or win. If you validate her or show jealousy, then she got what she really wanted out of you, validation, and will lose "interest" and fail you. And If you ignore the interest level sh!t test she'll probably keep doing testing, likewise if you ignore it and give her a partial reward with replying with attention and interest she continue until she see signs of you "giving in".A woman who was interested in you for reasons deeper than primarily chasing your validation would be happy with continuing to chase your validation basically.

Bottom line is I think a woman testing you is only slightly better than a woman who has no interest in you or has LJBF you. And a sign of a woman who either doesn't have her interest level in you where it should be or is not a decent female and is one that likes to continually manipulate to gain control or to entertain herself.

Give this a read:

http://www.attractology.com/advanced/the_****_test.php

So expect the **** test. Welcome it. Smile when it happens knowing that you know how to handle it.

 

[decades]

relationships that "flow" or "just feel right" rarely have Tests of either party. Healthy relationships don't need them.

 

[jophil28]

relationships that "flow" or "just feel right" rarely have Tests of either party. Healthy relationships don't need them.

Precisely !
Shyte "tests" are rarely about her testing you for strength or some other quality.. "Tests" are all about POWER and her grab for it. The way that women do this is many and varied and they are all bad. BUT they get a huge boost from tying up your nuts in a knot. These women are not relationship material.

 

[Jeffst1980]

I would be prepared for a couple of s#it tests upon first meeting a woman in a club, but after that, continued testing is the mark of a low quality drama seeker.

Also, if you meet a girl without her friends around her, you shouldn't really receive any s#it tests at all.


I think there are 2 types of s#it tests you see in clubs: One is basically the female equivalent of a neg--she's busting on you, but it's a sign of interest, and you pass by keeping your cool. The other isn't really a test, because you've already been disqualified; it's just a chick having fun at your expense. If you watch mystery's show on vh1, a lot of the guys get these type of "tests" when they use their canned material--they essentially become dancing monkeys.

If you approach a woman from a position of high social value relative to hers, you shouldn't get any s#it tests, either. It's really only used on guys of indeterminate social value by groups of girls.

I think the guys that complain about continued s#it tests in relationships are just encountering blatant disrespect. Disrespectful behavior is NOT a test.

 

[jophil28]

I think the guys that complain about continued s#it tests in relationships are just encountering blatant disrespect. Disrespectful behavior is NOT a test.

That is the`truth'... Some of you guys are so used to bad behavior from women that you have renamed it as "testing" to avoid confronting it .

 

[Irs88]

for **** tests. I try to just ignore it and just change the conversational thread into my favor. I can't really come up with something nice to say on the spot. is that okay? She will ask again later, but by then I will hopefully have a good response.

What should i say if she gives me a free compliment. This girl keeps saying "your buff!!!!" Granted out of all my friends I am the "little unexperienced dude" who changed a lot in the past 1-2 years.

How bout some other free comment like "your funny."

 

[reset]

Look---all of us accept that women are never wrong, everything they do is completely justified and serves a larger purpose. They can do whatever the hell they want to us men and STILL be kind, sensitive, feminine women. Or I should say, we accept that this is how a woman views herself in the world.

Women DO test. They DO push your buttons. They DO try to see what you are made of.

Some guys are saying that the girl should just be sweet and nice off the bat, otherwise.... she's a bytch. What they don't realize is that they are not really interacting with the REAL girl. They are interacting with a defensive, false self she has constructed to PROTECT her real self from being burned by AFCs and phony macho men (AFCs in reverse) who THEMSELVES approach her--AS PHONIES!

If it is her expectation that the majority of men who approach her are going to be artificial and "not themselves".... then she will likewise create a false self that can deal with THEIR false self. The real girl inside is thus protected from wasting her emotional investment on a dead end.

How is she to know if you are the real deal if she doesn't find ways to pierce your armor? If you're like most men she meets, your confident exterior that is supposed to unlock her femininity is AN ACT.

How many women do you know that are OVERT about what they want or need from a man? No. It's all covert. They say what they want to say by saying something other than what they are intending to say. They act in the opposite way of how they feel, on purpose. All to see what you will do.

When you are STRONG--when you maintain your frame, and either laugh the test off or wisely, (and in a conscious, deliberate manner) withdraw your affection and attention (not respect)--- you can see the woman completely change her ways and ENTER YOUR FRAME.

While we should never make excuses or rationalize poor behavior from a woman, I think it's unrealistic to think that women are going to be upfront and direct in the way a man would. If they find a weakness in you, they WILL exploit it until they see that you cannot be exploited. And then, they have their answer. Your frame is dominant. She tried to pierce your armor, she failed, she enters your frame, which is exactly what she wanted to happen in the first place. She WANTS you to blow her tests out of the water.

The entire point is to destroy these artificial barriers she places between her real, authentic, feminine self, and all the other AFCs and phonies who are attempting to access the real person inside. If you can't break these walls down, you will never see the real her. Only the men who know what they're doing get that far.

Women are testing. This is how it is. It's not pretty, and in a perfect world it wouldn't happen... but human nature is not pretty and it's not perfect.

To expect a woman to not weed out men by her tests is to expect human nature to be something that it isn't. To me saying women who are quality should not test is to give yourself comfort while you bail out, thinking it's getting a little too hot in the kitchen.

 

[Irs88]

nice summarization. I think it was Pook who said it best that REALLY opened my eyes. He said that women aren't putting up the barriers(**** tests), MEN ARE. They are acting like how women should act. Its their NATURE.

We put up the barriers because we are not acting in our NATURE. If we act within our nature we would be alpha male, manly, in control, etc(you get the idea)

However, we are putting sheilds up(getting nervous, being nice to her all the time, thinking about her too much, living in her WORLD, etc.)

Pook said if we DROP our barriers and act in our nature, women will JUMP you. That makes total sense to me. One of the most important things I learned from pook. :]

 

[reset]

This is true. How many guys at their core are needy, lonely, have a poor self image, yet create a fake image of a confident guy who is in charge of himself and controls the frame to impress women? It's easy to play-act. Act like "that guy". You can play the part for awhile.

I think of actors who would play the same role on stage for like a hundred performances. They ARE that character. Yet most guys are creating a role, often for the first time, with a woman they meet. They aren't the role! They're making it up on the spot. They are emulating what some other guy did. Bits and pieces of how they think they should act. They are still learning the part.

She knows this. She knows it's quite likely that you are an actor. You aren't the character the play is based on, you are the actor trying to be that character. So she meets you on YOUR LEVEL--and becomes an actress herself.

 

[STR8UP]

To expect a woman to not weed out men by her tests is to expect human nature to be something that it isn't. To me saying women who are quality should not test is to give yourself comfort while you bail out, thinking it's getting a little too hot in the kitchen.

Excellent post.

The "Quality woman won't test you" mentality is bullsh!t. I will go so far as to say that higher quality women ARE THE ONES who will test you.

And another thing. You aren't always being tested, but you are always being judged. In other words, it doesn't even matter if she's throwing out tests or not; it is how you react to WHATEVER comes your way that determines how she sees you.

Remember that.

 

[Papillon]

Well. I have been pondering whether to post on “**** tests” and finally decided to do so.
I have been reading several threads over the years on such topic and from what I see many fellow DJ’s see these tests as gauge of a woman’s interest into a man. Well I have some disagreements to make based on my own experience.
At this point I am almost positive to say that **** tests do NOT show or express any interest from the female but rather a form of amusement made by a female BARELY interested into a man OR a form of evaluating how much this man, she is not much into, can provide for her. To go further I would also say that **** tests are carried by the opposite of so called good-catches
Let me give you some examples with some LTR (STR cannot be taken into account since I never got to know more about these women)
My top three choices (if I had been to get married) gave me no **** tests whatsoever. All came from good backgrounds. Educated and with good careers. Well adjusted. Easy going, laid, back, no headaches. One of them was a HB9, the others two HB8
The lower I go into that lists the more **** tests I can dig.
Now the reverse. The woman (HB9)who tested me the most (I had no idea back then but after years reading your posts I realized what she did to me) turned out to be a woman who was never interested in me but rather was interested in what I could have provided for her. She was hot as hell (that is will she had going for her) and since she could not get what she wanted from me (marry her and provide for her, I almost did it, idiot me) she turned the cold shoulder and not even acknowledging me now. I was so heavily tested by this woman that I could write a book about.
Now, you will tell me my examples are not proof good enough. That there are just a few and irrelevant. Might be the case but I just gave you guys the two extremes. I have many other in-between who prove me that the higher value/quality a woman is the less **** tests she throws because she is confident with herself and with you (otherwise why would she date you?). The lower value/quality she is the more drama she needs from these tests, the more she can find out about how much she manipulate you into providing for her.
I do not pretend to have known or dated ALL women in the world but once again from what happened to me this is the conclusion I came to.
Sorry STR8UP. You seem to be the poster here I can identify myself the most with, but I have to disagree with you on this one
I could rant more about this topic maybe another time

 

[Papillon]

Oh.One more very important remark to make here
A quality woman will judge you, yes no doubt, as things progress but she will not INTENTIONALLY throw a "sh!t test". If this quality woman does not find you interesting she does not date you to begin with.

 

[Desert Fox]

Are you one of those perverts, you're probably watching porn right now and reading a Pook post aren't you?

i'm sorry but this made me LOL!:crackup:

 

[ketostix]

Oh.One more very important remark to make here
A quality woman will judge you, yes no doubt, as things progress but she will not INTENTIONALLY throw a "sh!t test". If this quality woman does not find you interesting she does not date you to begin with.

I'm inclined to agree with you. Sh!t testing is a low quality attribute. I also believe that a girl sh!t tests when she's not really interested in you as much as she's interested in what you can do for her and in manipulating you. that was basically my original point in this thread.