I wanted to understand the MGTOW movement, so I asked a few guys their reasons for giving up on dating. Here’s what I gathered:
Women see most men as disposable. They have fun with you and use you while they surreptitiously look for a better man. I am not interested in being a placeholder, so I’ve decided to withdraw from it all. Women deserve a good man and they can go look for him, but I won’t subsidize their search with compliments and free dinners.” — KD, 33 years old.
“I always give my 110% when I go into a relationship. I have never been the one to end things, and every time I get out of a relationship I am crushed and feel lost. And I am so tired of that. So. Bloody. Tired. I don’t have the energy to give that 110% anymore. I’m worn down and tired. You can keep hitting your head against the walls, but the walls are never going to change. You’ll just end up hurt.”
“My last relationship drained me mentally, emotionally, and physically. Thank god that she broke up with me. I’m not even bitter. It made me realize that I don’t want to be with anyone anymore. I just want my dogs, coffee, and gym.”
“Dating women requires a lot of money and effort with very little chance of reciprocation. If someone genuine falls in my lap, I would consider it. Otherwise, it’s not worth my time. I have better things to do.”
“I find dating tedious and a waste of time. I have never looked forward to going on a date in my whole life. I know it will be the same old forced conversations with women who I won’t fall in love with and will never see again. I’d rather be with friends or just relax at home.”
Another guy says, “Why play a game you can’t win? This might sound like a defeatist attitude but everyone’s endurance to losing has its limit. You lost one game of chess. It’s okay. You lost 10. You think, “Maybe I need to change my approach.” But if you lose every game you play, you will surely say, “Maybe I shouldn’t play chess anymore.” It’s the same thing with dating. If you keep losing and losing, of course you want to give up.”
“I have not completely given up on dating. But I have very little hope. I’m 30 years old, have a career, own a nice home, reasonably fit, have hobbies, etc. But only once in my entire existence did I find someone who’s decent (someone capable of functioning like an adult) that gave me a chance. EVERYONE else who showed interest in me was/is a complete train wreck (someone who can’t hold down a job, no driver’s license, and probably wouldn’t pass the background checks required to get into my workplace. I am better off single than attaching my life to the kinds of women I typically find in my area.”
“Nearing my 30’s, I started caring more about a woman’s personality, effort, and our compatibility. Sadly, dating during these times, most of the women I’ve talked to bore me or show no enthusiasm. It’s discouraging when they don’t reciprocate my energy and positivity. What I’ve noticed is that women in their early 20’s are too immature. While women in their mid 20’s to 30’s are looking for a normal, simple life, which I am not. It would be nice to find someone I align with mentally, but that’s a very small number of women. At this point in my life, I don’t care. I’d rather work on myself.”
“My life is better now. I am not gonna say all women are bad, but the good ones usually want nothing to do with me; and that’s fine. But some women can be unreasonably demanding and I feel like I’m never going to be good enough. Last year I started doing some solo travels and getting into a few hobbies. I’m proud to say that I have been single for a year now and I am loving it.”
“From past experiences, women treat me like money, security, and a place to stay — not as a partner, friend, or lover. Right now, I’m taking a break and focusing on enjoying my life.”
“I do not feel motivated to put in the effort. It’s been a year since I’ve given up dating and I have grown to love my peace where I do not have my every action, purchase, and thought questioned or attacked.”
“I haven’t completely given up on dating women, but am currently on hiatus. I may end up alone forever. Probably because my standards are too high. Still, I won’t settle until I can find someone who holds herself to the same standards she holds me to.”
“To be honest, I’m just tired. I feel like every girl I meet has a list of expectations for me. I just want to be myself.”
“I hate the way people make me feel, especially when they compare me to others. I hate feeling like I’m in an audition where I have to open up a part of me so they can deliberate if I’m “good enough.” And if I’m not, I risk being thrown out and treated like an unwanted stray. I don’t want that.”
———————
Thoughts?
Women see most men as disposable. They have fun with you and use you while they surreptitiously look for a better man. I am not interested in being a placeholder, so I’ve decided to withdraw from it all. Women deserve a good man and they can go look for him, but I won’t subsidize their search with compliments and free dinners.” — KD, 33 years old.
“I always give my 110% when I go into a relationship. I have never been the one to end things, and every time I get out of a relationship I am crushed and feel lost. And I am so tired of that. So. Bloody. Tired. I don’t have the energy to give that 110% anymore. I’m worn down and tired. You can keep hitting your head against the walls, but the walls are never going to change. You’ll just end up hurt.”
“My last relationship drained me mentally, emotionally, and physically. Thank god that she broke up with me. I’m not even bitter. It made me realize that I don’t want to be with anyone anymore. I just want my dogs, coffee, and gym.”
“Dating women requires a lot of money and effort with very little chance of reciprocation. If someone genuine falls in my lap, I would consider it. Otherwise, it’s not worth my time. I have better things to do.”
“I find dating tedious and a waste of time. I have never looked forward to going on a date in my whole life. I know it will be the same old forced conversations with women who I won’t fall in love with and will never see again. I’d rather be with friends or just relax at home.”
Another guy says, “Why play a game you can’t win? This might sound like a defeatist attitude but everyone’s endurance to losing has its limit. You lost one game of chess. It’s okay. You lost 10. You think, “Maybe I need to change my approach.” But if you lose every game you play, you will surely say, “Maybe I shouldn’t play chess anymore.” It’s the same thing with dating. If you keep losing and losing, of course you want to give up.”
“I have not completely given up on dating. But I have very little hope. I’m 30 years old, have a career, own a nice home, reasonably fit, have hobbies, etc. But only once in my entire existence did I find someone who’s decent (someone capable of functioning like an adult) that gave me a chance. EVERYONE else who showed interest in me was/is a complete train wreck (someone who can’t hold down a job, no driver’s license, and probably wouldn’t pass the background checks required to get into my workplace. I am better off single than attaching my life to the kinds of women I typically find in my area.”
“Nearing my 30’s, I started caring more about a woman’s personality, effort, and our compatibility. Sadly, dating during these times, most of the women I’ve talked to bore me or show no enthusiasm. It’s discouraging when they don’t reciprocate my energy and positivity. What I’ve noticed is that women in their early 20’s are too immature. While women in their mid 20’s to 30’s are looking for a normal, simple life, which I am not. It would be nice to find someone I align with mentally, but that’s a very small number of women. At this point in my life, I don’t care. I’d rather work on myself.”
“My life is better now. I am not gonna say all women are bad, but the good ones usually want nothing to do with me; and that’s fine. But some women can be unreasonably demanding and I feel like I’m never going to be good enough. Last year I started doing some solo travels and getting into a few hobbies. I’m proud to say that I have been single for a year now and I am loving it.”
“From past experiences, women treat me like money, security, and a place to stay — not as a partner, friend, or lover. Right now, I’m taking a break and focusing on enjoying my life.”
“I do not feel motivated to put in the effort. It’s been a year since I’ve given up dating and I have grown to love my peace where I do not have my every action, purchase, and thought questioned or attacked.”
“I haven’t completely given up on dating women, but am currently on hiatus. I may end up alone forever. Probably because my standards are too high. Still, I won’t settle until I can find someone who holds herself to the same standards she holds me to.”
“To be honest, I’m just tired. I feel like every girl I meet has a list of expectations for me. I just want to be myself.”
“I hate the way people make me feel, especially when they compare me to others. I hate feeling like I’m in an audition where I have to open up a part of me so they can deliberate if I’m “good enough.” And if I’m not, I risk being thrown out and treated like an unwanted stray. I don’t want that.”
———————
Thoughts?
