Why men can't detach themselves from dysfunctional relationships?

[MatureDJ]

Don't worry, they are not getting "properly" sexed. I was not getting "properly" sexed with my ex-wife either near the month or two before we seperated. My understanding of the beta-male "dead-bedrooms" is this very infrequent and forced sex. I'm sure there are horror stories out there where it's twice a year, or once every other month, etc...... In that case, you are just keeping up your social image by having a wife and the social benefits, plus the territorial idea that if you can't have her, nobody else can so it's better to keep her than dump her.

I wouldn't have a problem with an arrangement with wifey such that she goes sexless, but lets me EscortMax.

 

[member162951]

Two words:

Trauma Bonding.

Or sex addiction.

 

[Learning Curve]

The two most beautiful girls I've been with were also dysfunctional. I stayed longer than I should have because I was highly attracted to them and there was a good side to them. Also, the really crazy one was also amazing in the bedroom. At the end of the day they had many traits I did like and were good people.

The one i mentioned in this thread was also crazy good in bed. This is the hardest attachment to remove.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Exactly. Imagine her laughing away together with some new chad-dude while all you are left with are the memories of the nice times you've had together with her. Maybe you'll visit the places you've been together and keep up a fantasy version of the memory with her alive while she's happily moved on with another guy. This is what happened after I broke up with my ex-gf back in 2012. I did meet my ex-wife a couple of years later, so it's not like a 9 year dry-spell after the ex-wife. I guess it's better a 9 year dry-spell with my ex-wife, then an 11 year dry-spell with just her.

There is this movie called Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). I recommend watching it as it goes through the deconstructive process of letting her go in your mind.

Haunted by memories of beauty and kindness. Fawk this hits home. That was an interesting movie. Imagine being able to just auto delete someone from your memory.

 

[soulforge]

In most cases including mine, we know from the offset that something is off.

Her behaviour isn't quite right, a few little incidents here and there that we forgave her for.

She is hot and great sex, so it's not something we want to lose.

I think the key thing here is damage limitation, once it becomes obviously clear that the relationship is dysfunctional/toxic it's time to grab your balls and EJECT.

The longer you stay, the more the poison seeps in and the longer the road of recovery is.

Some men stays YEARS in these types of toxic situations, even have a child with her.

Recovery for these guys can take several years.

It's also about analysing what you did wrong. Certain situations that you could have handled better. Why you didn't have the courage to walk away at the first sign of toxic behaviour.

I think what makes this situation even more complex is, that these girls also have a very sweet/loving side to them too, which makes it even more difficult to walk away.

In my case the Russian girl was very loving towards me most of the time, however her Angry side would come out every two weeks or so, and it would be chaos all over again.

 

[inquisitor]

Would be great to discuss this topic as this is something that has been on my mind for quite a long time.

I have friends, best friends that actually have relationships. Some of them are 4 years some of them 10 years.

What I see is pure sadness. Arguments all day, no communication, and no sex. Yet they still stay for more.

Are these men dysfunctional? Probably. Are these men insecure and f3ucked up with no choices around them? Probably.

Been there and done that, a 4-year dysfunctional relationship destroyed my mentality, confidence, and my life. Ended it, and moved on. Was it hard? f3uck it was hard. The chick did not want to break up, she was showing up at my house, begging and pleading making things even more dramatic. Once I decided I'm out I was out.

The question here is why all these men don't leave these f3ucked up relationships?

My personal answer is simple.

They can't. They were born and raised in dysfunctional families. They had this pattern growing up and they got used to this environment. This is how I was 7 years ago.

I don't judge them. But I encourage anyone who is in this situation to move on. I did wonders for my energy, confidence, and general quality of life.

More of tolerance to the other person's identity, being taught that you should accept the one you love for who they are... neglecting the entire purpose of vetting for a partner.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

A lot of men haven’t experienced superior alpha treatment from a woman

Once you have, it’s hard to ever tolerate a dysfunctional relationship again

 

[inquisitor]

The biggest issue is, poeple are lazy sheep. They want to keep things comfy and not rock the boat.

Just imagine telling that AFC to get his dad-bod ripped, pick himself up from a financial disaster, become self sufficiant, learn game...... its hard work. Most people cant be bothered and rather cope/ self medicate.

So.... unless they take the redpill and wish to dig themselves out of the matrix, there is not much you can do about it to help them.

Hitting the nail on the head.

Honestly man the hotter a chick is the harder it is to Walk away from her dysfunctionality.

For most average men, landing and getting into a relationship with a hottie is like winning the fukin lottery. It happens very very rarely.

Once you got that hot chick, your always in a scarcity mindset,. because you know you ain't getting a baddie again for a really long time.

It's mostly down to a lack of options and us men are extremely territorial creatures.

We know for a fact that if we dump this toxic chick, within weeks she will be riding some new dik who is probably the bigger and better deal. And probably fuks her better too.

These thoughts stop us from giving up on a chick. We live in hope that things will somehow get better.

F*ck. A friend, 21, met this HB last 2022 on an anonymous online chat and "hit it off", being in an LDR for 6 months before meeting once in a faraway beach. Me and my friend group watched the dude's girl online, for there was no way for us to meet her in person. Just seeing her socmed accounts, I knew she was a Cluster B. She's a 9 to a carefree observer, maybe even a 10, until you know that she's 25 and until you read her crazy tweets. She probably f*cked him good to the point of oneitis and now, the dude which used to be living near us in a rental as we went through this semester, suddenly vanished and left all our group chats. Luckily, he's still on twitter, but we haven't made any contact with him yet - it might worsen his situation with the girl. He's most likely being led by the HB to do whatever she pleases, partly due to her having a dysfunctional family and a previous man in her life that left her alone, breaking her to a point of a sort of revenge... and he seems keen on fixing her. We can't do sh*t about it either.

 

[soulforge]

Hitting the nail on the head.



F*ck. A friend, 21, met this HB last 2022 on an anonymous online chat and "hit it off", being in an LDR for 6 months before meeting once in a faraway beach. Me and my friend group watched the dude's girl online, for there was no way for us to meet her in person. Just seeing her socmed accounts, I knew she was a Cluster B. She's a 9 to a carefree observer, maybe even a 10, until you know that she's 25 and until you read her crazy tweets. She probably f*cked him good to the point of oneitis and now, the dude which used to be living near us in a rental as we went through this semester, suddenly vanished and left all our group chats. Luckily, he's still on twitter, but we haven't made any contact with him yet - it might worsen his situation with the girl. He's most likely being led by the HB to do whatever she pleases, partly due to her having a dysfunctional family and a previous man in her life that left her alone, breaking her to a point of a sort of revenge... and he seems keen on fixing her. We can't do sh*t about it either.

We will see him in the No Contact thread likely soon.

But seriously.. Once a chick gets it into her head, this dude ain't never walking away, he is so heavily invested, it's a fukin Wrap.