Why is cheating considered so bad?

[FutureSpartan]

Let's face it. Men are only as faithful as their options. How many of you guys would accept a proposition for no-strings-attached sex by a random stunner if you knew for certain your girlfriend/fiancee/wife would never find out.

Having sex with her would in no way shape or form change how you feel about your SO. Why don't women understand this. They seem to view cheating in the context that if you do it, its because you weren't happy with her or that she wasn't good enough. The ironic thing is when most women cheat, its for those exact reasons towards their man while most men simply want the variety of different women.

Another consideration. Women want it both ways; they don't want a man that no other woman her caliber would want yet those guys would be the one's least likely to cheat. She wants a man thats considered a high value male in terms of his looks, money, and status.....a man thats going to likely desired and chased by other women.....yet expects him to remain 100% monogamous and is shocked and crushed when she finds out that, despite her amazing body and cooking skills, he still f*cked one of her friends for fun.

"He can't keep his d*ck in his pants, what a pig" would be the common retort....yet why did her friend allow it to happen. If women, the supposed gatekeepers of sex, would learn keep their pussies from gushing for attractive taken men then none of this cheating would happen in the first place.

You guys will probably tell me....be honest with your intentions and don't be with her if you can't be monogamous....and I answer why?

1.Most attractive sane girls will probably not sleep with you unless there is some sort of implicit agreement that you are "Dating" her. All being honest does is drive them away in the first place.

2. Having regular sex with a girl you have good chemistry with is way better than being single and dealing with unreliable girls, flakes, not knowing when your next lay is gonna be. After all just being in it for the sex all you will get are ONS's and short-term flings with girls you may not even like being around. Its also a lot harder to get a girl when your single....its like being unemployed....no one wants you unless you already have a job.

Historically, havent men always had affairs and wives/ladies tolerated it as long as he didnt neglect his spousal duties both physically and emotionally. Meaning as long as he came home to her every night and the sex with the mistress was viewed as just that, sex.....well then what's the big f*cking deal....would women rather share a successful man or have a loser all to herself?

I'm not trying to be a **** but I just wanted to present a contrarian viewpoint. I may be totally wrong but its something I wanted to discuss with you guys and get opinions.

 

[Ease]

I pull better when i am in a relationship, no lie. In a way, this is a good reason enough to get into a relationship!

 

[WaterTiger]

This is the reason Lucille Ball & Dezi Arnez broke up. He loved her, took care of her & the kids...but liked a little "variety" on the side. These women meant nothing more to him than a warm-blooded blow up doll. Just a pump & dump. Lucy was his wife. It was done all the time in Latin countries. He just kept getting caught at it!

So you want your girlfriend to be cool with you getting a little on the side. So does that mean it's an open relationship? She can boff the pool boy who looks great in a Speedo? Or does she have to remain "faithful" to you only.

The three big problems I see with variety is this:
* Accidently catching a rather unpleasant STD from that "stunning hottie" from the local Starbucks and taking it home to your wife.
*Hooking up with a nut case who wants you to leave the Mrs, and take up with her, and starts huge trouble if you don't do that.
*The Mrs finds a hotter guy than you & divorce rapes you in court.

Quiet, descreet mistresses have been the norm for hundreds of years. I seriously doubt thay will go away in the future.

 

[Ease]

So does that mean it's an open relationship? She can boff the pool boy who looks great in a Speedo? Or does she have to remain "faithful" to you only.

*The Mrs finds a hotter guy than you & divorce rapes you in court.

Woooooow, hold on. Nobody said anything about her having anything on the side.

She flirts with another guy and she is dead.

 

[FutureSpartan]

This is the reason Lucille Ball & Dezi Arnez broke up. He loved her, took care of her & the kids...but liked a little "variety" on the side. These women meant nothing more to him than a warm-blooded blow up doll. Just a pump & dump. Lucy was his wife. It was done all the time in Latin countries. He just kept getting caught at it!

So you want your girlfriend to be cool with you getting a little on the side. So does that mean it's an open relationship? She can boff the pool boy who looks great in a Speedo? Or does she have to remain "faithful" to you only.

The three big problems I see with variety is this:
* Accidently catching a rather unpleasant STD from that "stunning hottie" from the local Starbucks and taking it home to your wife.
*Hooking up with a nut case who wants you to leave the Mrs, and take up with her, and starts huge trouble if you don't do that.
*The Mrs finds a hotter guy than you & divorce rapes you in court.

Quiet, descreet mistresses have been the norm for hundreds of years. I seriously doubt thay will go away in the future.

Thanks WT for your rebuttal....


1. I think in any non-committal relationship or new sexual partner the man should wear a condom, that would include an affair as well.

2. On nutcases...good point....I guess the only remedy for that would be that a smart man has to be able to distinguish between the kind of attention he gives to his wife and the kind of attention he gives to a mistress. I would treat the mistress as nothing more than a sex toy...no cuddling, deep conversations, long phone calls or anything that would encourage attachments to form. Of course the best option would be to just purchase call girls and escorts or hook up with someone you have no intention of seeing again.

3. On the Mrs. being able to cheat......well that would depend on the context of the cheating happening....why did she have sex with the hotter guy? Is it because she is no longer attracted to me as a desirable partner or does she want variety? If its the former than the relationship is over....and that is usually the case when a woman cheats.

For the sake of arguement....if its strictly the latter (meaning she loves me/wants to be with me) than yes I would sit and talk to her about the possibility of an open relationship. But I think you're using an argument that I feel only applies to a very small minority of women. If a woman loves and admires her man....I don't see why she would feel any need to cheat in the first place....even if the other guy in question is more attractive.

Again this is where men differ from women. We are better at compartmentalizing sex from our emotions. A wise man that dated many women told me recently "most women cannot separate their hearts from their vaginas"

So you want your girlfriend to be cool with you getting a little on the side

No and I don't expect her to if she's a sane attractive girl. But she also does not need to know about it. If I end up having the occassional NSA encounter, other than protecting myself with a condom, why should she know. I already know she will get pissed off and angry if i tell her.

 

[FutureSpartan]

Woooooow, hold on. Nobody said anything about her having anything on the side.

She flirts with another guy and she is dead.

Lol....but seriously consider the percentage of women that seek "variety" in men and vice versa.

Most attractive women find the majority of guys ugly, creepy, loser, meh, just a friend, etc....etc....they sleep with the top guys and then get mad that every other girl wants the same type of man she only goes for (which is only a small percentage) and then expects her alpha male boyfriend to resist all temptation when he is in a position that most men will never dream of seeing in their lives.

If she wants a loyal partner that will never cheat....date/marry a beta male and learn to appreciate him. Otherwise accept that if you want to be with the alpha male you have to learn to share.

 

[Big Overseas 1]

Why is cheating considered so bad?


Probably bcuz most dudes I know who cheat are too gutless to just drop a lackluster chick and go get another one. Or they let their Dycks do their thinking for them. No self control at all.

 

[Scars]

There is a social taboo against it. However, I still feel it's far worse for a woman to cheat than a man. As with woman, there is usually emotion involved, and with a man it is purely lust.

I have cheated on my current girlfriend 3+ times (she only found out about 3). However, I did admit to my "mistakes" I also explained this same thing to her. Almost brain washed her in a way. I know she is deeply in love with me. She made the mistake of telling me at the beginning of our relation that "if you cheat on me, she better be prettier than me". Which they have been. (Not to say that my girl is ugly. But we all know these wh0res doll themselves up to look like 10s, or at least try to.) Deep down they secretly love it. I know this goes against everything you were brought up to believe, but no woman wants a man that is not desirable to other woman. If you aren't getting female attention outside of your relationship she WILL lose interest sooner or later. Things absolutely change when a girl falls completely in love with you. I mean, to the point where she bends over backwards for you, and you know you have complete control over her. That is the only time you can ever get away with cheating. The sick part is, it makes her love you even more.

 

[EFFORT]

Let's face it. Men are only as faithful as their options. How many of you guys
would accept a proposition for no-strings-attached sex by a random stunner if you knew
for certain your girlfriend/fiancee/wife would never find out.

Very few men would turn it down

Having sex with her would in no way shape or form change how you feel about your SO. Why don't women understand this.

Generally speaking, the higher your value is to the woman, the higher the understanding.

They seem to view cheating in the context that if you do it, its because you

weren't happy with her or that she wasn't good enough.

If you don't enter into any type of monogamous arrangement then theres no such thing as cheating.

The ironic thing is when most women cheat, its for those exact reasons towards their man while most men simply want the variety of different women.

I agree

Another consideration. Women want it both ways; they don't want a man that no other woman her caliber would want yet those guys would be the one's least likely to cheat. She wants a man thats considered a high value male in terms of his looks, money, and status.....a man thats going to likely desired and chased by other women.....yet expects him to remain 100% monogamous and is shocked and crushed when she finds out that, despite her amazing body and cooking skills, he still f*cked one of her friends for fun.

A lot of western women have this delusional view from social conditioning. The dream man you described is in a lot of movies, only difference is he usually doesn't cheat. In reality this man doesn't exist.

"He can't keep his d*ck in his pants, what a pig" would be the common retort....yet why did her friend allow it to happen. If women, the supposed gatekeepers of sex, would learn keep their pussies from gushing for attractive taken men then none of this cheating would happen in the first place.

The reason they'll say that is because they've been deceived. If you don't enter into a monogamous arrangement then the cheating issue is avoided.

You guys will probably tell me....be honest with your intentions and don't be with her if you can't be monogamous....and I answer why?

You don't have to be honest. If you take the dishonest route you just have to accept everything that comes with it.

1.Most attractive sane girls will probably not sleep with you unless there is some sort of implicit agreement that you are "Dating" her. All being honest does is drive them away in the first place.

Dating doesn't have to mean monogamy

2. Having regular sex with a girl you have good chemistry with is way better than being single and dealing with unreliable girls, flakes, not knowing when your next lay is gonna be.

If you need variety, your desire for it will eventually ruin the chemistry. The chemistry will also take a hit once she knows shes your only option for sex. You can also have good chemistry with a girl your not monogamous with.

Not knowing when your next lay is going to be means there a lot of areas in your life that need to be improved.

After all just being in it for the sex all you will get are ONS's and short-term flings with girls you may not even like being around.

If you just want the sex, then paying for it saves a lot of time and hassle. If you enjoy the connection and the sex then you can date without being monogamous or you can date and lie about being monogamous and just accept the territory.

Its also a lot harder to get a girl when your single....its like being
unemployed....no one wants you unless you already have a job.

There's usually deeper reasons why someone is single or not employed.

Historically, havent men always had affairs and wives/ladies tolerated it as long as he didnt neglect his spousal duties both physically and emotionally. Meaning as long as he came home to her every night and the sex with the mistress was viewed as just that, sex.....

Before feminism men had a lot more value to women. Unfortunately things have changed a lot in the west (especially usa).

well then what's the big f*cking deal....would women rather share a successful man or have a loser all to herself?

Cheating is a big deal to them because of the lie. They rather share a successful man, although a lot of them would never admit to it.

I'm not trying to be a **** but I just wanted to present a contrarian viewpoint. I may be totally wrong but its something I wanted to discuss with you guys and get opinions.

How you go about dealing with this is a personal decision. The lying/cheating route will work, you just have to accept the possible consequences that come with it.

Going the honest route means being mongomus just isn't part of who you are (all men). Don't apologize for it, they'll still sleep with you if your value is higher.

 

[AAAgent]

i consider myself a loyal mutherfvker but i still did it. It's natural for guys to wan to experience other women.

when i did it, it was because i just couldn't get it up everytime for my girl but i loved her to death. it got up easily for the other chick.

the girls has met each other many times and are kinda friends, my girl at the time didn't know. i paid the other girl no attention and friendzoned her. I know who's my woman and what a$$ is.

 

[Hakuna]

If your game is superior enough like Bill Clinton's, you can cheat as many times as you want and neutralize all of your girlfriend's arguments by criticizing all the grammatical errors in her rant.

 

[jtlancer]

A better question might be why is it called cheating?
Who made the rules of this game and who benefits from those rules?
Do the rule makers follow the rules?
The number of girls out there looking to hookup seems to be telling...

 

[Bible_Belt]

History will usually answer the question of why. Paternity tests are a fairly recent thing, so the gravest sin a woman could ever commit was to cheat on her husband, get pregnant, and then have that situation mess up the inheritance payouts upon hubby's death. When money was involved, it was a big deal, and where passage of royal titles was involved it was tremendously important. That's why we view female infidelity as being worse than male. A lot of other modern inventions factor in as well, like condoms, birth control, and healthcare to treat STDs, but I think historical perspective is the answer. Things might be different 1,000 years from now.

 

[handle]

If your game is superior enough like Bill Clinton's, you can cheat as many times as you want and neutralize all of your girlfriend's arguments by criticizing all the grammatical errors in her rant.

aaahahahahahahahahaha

"Are you cheating on me?"
"Depends on your definition of 'are' is"

 

[TizZle]

Loyalty and Honesty are masculine traits.

If you are in a commited relationship and are getting bored, either (A) get rid of her or (B) try new things to spice it up

 

[AAAgent]

Interesting, was it because she was not that good looking or because it was not "forbidden"? I've had trouble staying hard for some chicks(8's and up, true hotties) when we were dating but when I found out what ho's they were later on and we were FWB's I was a lot more sexually attracted to them. Maybe the nerves were gone because I didnt respect them anymore, I dunno.

no it was because i was fvcking the same vagina too much. It just wasn't feeling as great anymore. Alot of times i really didn't want sex but she kept insisting.

i was going from an average of 2 times a day for the first 3 months (as many as 6-7 times in a day) to 2-3 times a week and that was hard enough. She was GREAT in bed. I tried to spice it up by getting her to buy sexy lingerie but the kind she was buying just wasn't cutting it.

 

[Ease]

Loyalty and Honesty are masculine traits.

Not true, 100% bs.

Not one piece of evidence for this being true, this statement is pure fiction.

This is nothing more than opinion.

 

[cordoncordon]

i was going from an average of 2 times a day for the first 3 months (as many as 6-7 times in a day)

Cmon man that is why you got bored and couldn't get it up. Twice a day? Every day? Sometimes 6-7 times a day???

Crazy man. Too much of a good thing, is a bad thing. For example...You can drink too much water and die. Who wants to have sex that often? I mean I love sex but damn. And who has time for sex that often? I have never understood guys needs to have sex THAT much. And those guys all end up the same, bored and cheating.

 

[FutureSpartan]

Cmon man that is why you got bored and couldn't get it up. Twice a day? Every day? Sometimes 6-7 times a day???

Crazy man. Too much of a good thing, is a bad thing. For example...You can drink too much water and die. Who wants to have sex that often? I mean I love sex but damn. And who has time for sex that often? I have never understood guys needs to have sex THAT much. And those guys all end up the same, bored and cheating.

I agree that is really excessive...... 1 - 2 times a week and im happy.

But for me the drive to "cheat" is more just wanting to have variety and not more sex.

The post regarding Clinton is a perfect example. Why does Hillary, the embodiement of female empowerment, still stand by her man despite his transgressions? I know they probably arent "together" in a romantic sense, but shouldn't she, a sharp savvy independent woman, be the quickest to file for divorce?

 

[AAAgent]

I agree that is really excessive...... 1 - 2 times a week and im happy.

But for me the drive to "cheat" is more just wanting to have variety and not more sex.

The post regarding Clinton is a perfect example. Why does Hillary, the embodiement of female empowerment, still stand by her man despite his transgressions? I know they probably arent "together" in a romantic sense, but shouldn't she, a sharp savvy independent woman, be the quickest to file for divorce?

I was young, she was bpd, etc. Like i said, it wasn't because i lost interest in her. My sh1t just wasn't working all the time.