Why is cheating considered so bad?

[Ease]

This is some gay thing right here. This is a mans forum, respect the views of other men you damn *****s.

I wouldn't want to get cheated on, so I don't see why I would ever cheat on a good relationship. Plain and simple.

Synergy, tizzle, handle

Where are you guys in this thread?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=180391

Go on and tell him that cheating is wrong. Tell him what he should do in that case.

 

[FutureSpartan]

This is some gay thing right here. This is a mans forum, respect the views of other men you damn *****s.



Synergy, tizzle, handle

Where are you guys in this thread?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=180391

Go on and tell him that cheating is wrong. Tell him what he should do in that case.

Too bad this kind of thing happens to most guys that are "monogamous." Things start out fine and then inevitably, they put their girlfriend on a sexual pedestal b/c they see her as his only source of p*ssy. So no surprise, she ends up losing attraction towards him. Having other options makes a man less desperate to have sex with his girlfriend all the time, which in turn makes her happy that he isn't hounding her all the time to "fulfill his needs" and actually turns on her competition anxiety and makes her more sexually open.

Sorry if i'm getting some posters panties in a bunch, but its the truth.

And no I do not hate women.....I see them as flawed humans just like us men, maybe i'm just not as obsessed with expecting to find a "perfect quality girl" that many guys here dream of having and then get bitter and angry when they find out there's no such thing.

 

[Ease]

Too bad this kind of thing happens to most guys that are "monogamous." Things start out fine and then inevitably, they put their girlfriend on a sexual pedestal b/c they see her as his only source of p*ssy. So no surprise, she ends up losing attraction towards him. Having other options makes a man less desperate to have sex with his girlfriend all the time, which in turn makes her happy that he isn't hounding her all the time to "fulfill his needs" and actually turns on her competition anxiety and makes her more sexually open.

Sorry if i'm getting some posters panties in a bunch, but its the truth.

And no I do not hate women.....I see them as flawed humans just like us men, maybe i'm just not as obsessed with expecting to find a "perfect quality girl" that many guys here dream of having and then get bitter and angry when there's no such thing.

Truth speak, i wont get the urge to stray or look elsewhere when i have a perfect relationship. But when i see cracks or problems then i know what i have to do. I'm realistic and i'm wise, i'm a man and i've seen it all before. In a relationship i keep my game sharp and i know the benefits of always keeping options or perhaps of having a girl on the side. If i suspect unloyalty from my girl then i know how to save myself.

I find it hilarious that these reightous beta's can be so convincing when what they speak of is utter bs. Absolute nonsense, you can give a fool knowledge and experience but he will still revert to his stupidity.

 

[JdelaSilviera]

Too bad this kind of thing happens to most guys that are "monogamous." Things start out fine and then inevitably, they put their girlfriend on a sexual pedestal b/c they see her as his only source of p*ssy. So no surprise, she ends up losing attraction towards him. Having other options makes a man less desperate to have sex with his girlfriend all the time, which in turn makes her happy that he isn't hounding her all the time to "fulfill his needs" and actually turns on her competition anxiety and makes her more sexually open.

Sorry if i'm getting some posters panties in a bunch, but its the truth.

And no I do not hate women.....I see them as flawed humans just like us men, maybe i'm just not as obsessed with expecting to find a "perfect quality girl" that many guys here dream of having and then get bitter and angry when they find out there's no such thing.

Some guys here got the all alpha male wrong.

First I would just like to point out, that it is ridiculous to act manly on an internet forum, this is not necessarly for you FS, but it´s norm to watch guys swearing, and tellin things like "don´t be a puss*, women are only good to fvck, I´m so cool and masculine on the internet" kind of atittude.
I understand that some need to stop acting like wimps, and need to practice somewhere, so they use sosuave to do so.... it´s fine to do that but don´t exaggerate.

Most "DJ´s" need to first lose their V-Cards, then find a girlfriend and for last they may think of cheating.... I always laugh with the hundreds of guys at this forum that classify themselves 6+ (at least) and their "pickups" that happened while they were dreaming.

You are right, you can´t put your girl on a pedestal, but cheating is putting her under the ground.... a little bit of balance is always recommended. Also if she needs other girls pursuing you to be sure she made the right choice, and you are a good man, she isn´t smart enough and the relationship will collapse sooner or later.
If you have a decent,smart and loyal girl and you think it´s ok to cheat because you got a boner in the club, and that makes you a man, it means you simply have no integrity, no word, but hey you are not alone.... that´s why the world has become a giant jungle. No one has obligated you to be her exclusive....

Also for those who say it´s manly to fvck when you desire, and since you seem to forget that the brain should command you, I would like to know what would you do if you understood in the room you were about to fvck a TRAVESTI..... I hope you wouldn´t do it, that wouldn´t be that manly.

 

[synergy1]

Truth speak, i wont get the urge to stray or look elsewhere when i have a perfect relationship. But when i see cracks or problems then i know what i have to do. I'm realistic and i'm wise, i'm a man and i've seen it all before. In a relationship i keep my game sharp and i know the benefits of always keeping options or perhaps of having a girl on the side. If i suspect unloyalty from my girl then i know how to save myself.

I find it hilarious that these reightous beta's can be so convincing when what they speak of is utter bs. Absolute nonsense, you can give a fool knowledge and experience but he will still revert to his stupidity.

Relevant to your post, I would actually agree with your statement. In a good relationship, one will have opportunities to cheat. We aren't married, so keeping viable options available isn't necessarily a bad thing, but not something i thought about in my last good relationship. More recently, I have been "dating" several women at a time ( 4 or so) and it is this stage where I am much more prone to pursuing other options - actually its getting hard to juggle!

Sorry if i'm getting some posters panties in a bunch, but its the truth.

This whole 'truth' think is a load of crap - you all are in your mid 20s and don't know half of what you think you know. There will be a point someday where you might be in a really good situation, and than you get cheated on for no apparent reason. It'll feel like crap. Really, it will. You act all macho here, but when the time comes, you'll be a bloody mess. My point isn't to be the white knight to end all white knights, but to advocate not treating people like crap. Maybe half of these relationship issues would just go away if people had an ounce of respect for one another.

 

[FutureSpartan]

Relevant to your post, I would actually agree with your statement. In a good relationship, one will have opportunities to cheat. We aren't married, so keeping viable options available isn't necessarily a bad thing, but not something i thought about in my last good relationship. More recently, I have been "dating" several women at a time ( 4 or so) and it is this stage where I am much more prone to pursuing other options - actually its getting hard to juggle!

Sorry if i'm getting some posters panties in a bunch, but its the truth.

This whole 'truth' think is a load of crap - you all are in your mid 20s and don't know half of what you think you know. There will be a point someday where you might be in a really good situation, and than you get cheated on for no apparent reason. It'll feel like crap. Really, it will. You act all macho here, but when the time comes, you'll be a bloody mess. My point isn't to be the white knight to end all white knights, but to advocate not treating people like crap. Maybe half of these relationship issues would just go away if people had an ounce of respect for one another.

Synergy (and the others who disagree with me), for the sake of discussion, if you were with a girl....amazing in every way; someone you would settle down with for the rest of your life....and she asked you

"Do you fantasize about other women when you masturbate?"

or

"Do you ever look at pornography?"

In her mind, she views this as cheating. Would you be 100% honest with her if it meant losing her respect and possibly the relationship.

Or this scenario:

You've been with your wife for over 40 years. You have been monogamous and loyal to her throughout your entire marriage and things have been nothing short of amazing; great sex, she cooks and cleans, provides companionship even to this day. She admits to you that she had a one-night stand 20 years ago, but insists it was just lust and she never wanted to leave you. You never suspected a thing because things were always so great between the two of you.

Do you stick to your morals and break-up with her? Despite the fact that she could have just not said anything and you would have been none the wiser? Do you throw away all the good aspects of the relationship, time spent, experiences shared, all over a one night fling?

One more:

For a long-term relationship, would you guys compromise on looks by dating a less attractive woman (and I am talking very average/plain jane here, not even cute HB6-8) if it meant that she would not receive as much attention from other males, thus less prone to cheat.....

Or would you insist on an attractive "quality woman" who will be likely propositioned by guys left and right.....and be cool with the possibility she may leave you/cheat on you if something better comes along?

 

[JdelaSilviera]

Truth speak, i wont get the urge to stray or look elsewhere when i have a perfect relationship. But when i see cracks or problems then i know what i have to do. I'm realistic and i'm wise, i'm a man and i've seen it all before. In a relationship i keep my game sharp and i know the benefits of always keeping options or perhaps of having a girl on the side. If i suspect unloyalty from my girl then i know how to save myself.

I find it hilarious that these reightous beta's can be so convincing when what they speak of is utter bs. Absolute nonsense, you can give a fool knowledge and experience but he will still revert to his stupidity.

LoL, you are so cool and alpha...

 

[JdelaSilviera]

Synergy (and the others who disagree with me), for the sake of discussion, if you were with a girl....amazing in every way; someone you would settle down with for the rest of your life....and she asked you

"Do you fantasize about other women when you masturbate?"

or

"Do you ever look at pornography?"

Would you be 100% honest with her if it meant losing her respect and possibly the relationship.

Or this scenario:

You've been with your wife for over 40 years. You have been monogamous and loyal to her throughout your entire marriage and things have been nothing short of amazing; great sex, she cooks and cleans, provides companionship even to this day. She admits to you that she had a one-night stand 20 years ago, but insists it was just lust and she never wanted to leave you. You never suspected a thing because things were always so great between the two of you. How do you react?

It´s normal to fantasize about other people BTW 100% of girls when in a relationship also fantasize about other guys.... but that´s just called a fantasy, you can´t control the tricks your mind plays on you.... but you can decide how you act, and that´s just the difference between those who have or lack integrity.... simple as that.

Also cheating doesn´t make you more desirable, or prevent you of being cheated on, all contraire, you might get cheated on by revegence.... (most women cheat by revegence by the way), so it´s just a kind of relationship that won´t hold.

 

[AAAgent]

I find it hilarious that these reightous beta's can be so convincing when what they speak of is utter bs. Absolute nonsense, you can give a fool knowledge and experience but he will still revert to his stupidity.

I agree with you here. I'm not saying cheating is right, i'm saying that sometimes in order to keep a relationship alive you need some outside stimulation. I'd rather get some diversity outside then never be able to get hard around my woman which would ultimately ruin the relationship.

Now in a perfect relationship, cheating would be considered retarded and wouldn't happen. Is there anyone in the world in a perfect relationship? Probably not. I was naive before and thought that if your love was pure enough, strong enough, or w/e enough, it could whether through all the storms. Sadly enough, love is only part of the emotions that encompass humans. Lust is another emotion which drives a lot of men and women to cheat.

Cheating has been happening since before you were born and will continue to happen long after you die. Not because it is right or wrong but because the human race must mate with the opposite sex to reproduce/populate. The more partners you have, the higher the chance. Sure, we are more civilized now but we are still animals...or mammals. The day a machine takes over the space of your brain then you can say cheating is WRONG since the computer operating the space of your brain would not be wired to cheat.

They way civil life is structured now is what i believe is increasing the amount of cheating.

Let's say you're not in a perfect relationship/marriage but you guys love each other to death. Both of you are beautiful attractive people and have many other available side options, etc. You as the husband have a job that requires you to travel. Let’s say you’re a top executive at a company that has operations globally or internationally. You have s3x 7-10 times a month since you are away a lot, but the s3x is crazy, wild, and passionate. You guys are constantly missing each other due to lack of seeing each other so when possible every other month or so you take a night off, day, or weekend/couple of days to fly her and you're kid over to see you. You have a night on the town either alone with your girl(baby sitter if needed) or as a family. She flies back. The cycle starts over with you two being crazy about each other. The man is a successful DJ and is able to keep the relationship together while also maintaining himself.

This is what I view as an ideal relationship, time apart from one another so that nothing becomes routine, valuing time spent together, s3x, etc. but life generally isn’t like this. You see your significant other everyday probably, have s3x whenever you want, sometimes one parties is sick of seeing the other party, a fight ensues, you make up, eventually the good is overcome by the bad because your not given enough time apart to value the great things you had. Life has become unbalanced and cheating has become a way of balancing that lustful desire people once had in relationships.

 

[synergy1]

Synergy (and the others who disagree with me), for the sake of discussion, if you were with a girl....amazing in every way; someone you would settle down with for the rest of your life....and she asked you

"Do you fantasize about other women when you masturbate?"

or

"Do you ever look at pornography?"

In her mind, she views this as cheating. Would you be 100% honest with her if it meant losing her respect and possibly the relationship.



I guess the devil is in the details - how one defines cheating. My definition is if you sleep with someone else while you are in a relationship which is a straightforward and commonly accepted. As for mentioning looking at other women and the like, she might have to accept that this is how it is. I don't flaunt it, but she knows its all there. I have had these discussions before s/o's and mentioned this was how guys are, including myself. I don't think it diminished our relationships.


Or this scenario:

You've been with your wife for over 40 years. You have been monogamous and loyal to her throughout your entire marriage and things have been nothing short of amazing; great sex, she cooks and cleans, provides companionship even to this day. She admits to you that she had a one-night stand 20 years ago, but insists it was just lust and she never wanted to leave you. You never suspected a thing because things were always so great between the two of you.

Do you stick to your morals and break-up with her? Despite the fact that she could have just not said anything and you would have been none the wiser? Do you throw away all the good aspects of the relationship, time spent, experiences shared, all over a one night fling?



I am not sure on this one to be honest. My longest relationship was not very long, let alone 40 years, thus to even begin to comprehend this would be a difficult challenge. I am honestly not sure if I would throw her out for one indiscretion like that, especially if the rest of the 40 years was that good. However, it wouldn't be clear cut black/white as I think there would have been peripheral events leading up to the gf cheating on me.

again, its a situation i am very far removed from so my guess is just that...a guess..


One more:

For a long-term relationship, would you guys compromise on looks by dating a less attractive woman (and I am talking very average/plain jane here, not even cute HB6-8) if it meant that she would not receive as much attention from other males, thus less prone to cheat.....

Or would you insist on an attractive "quality woman" who will be likely propositioned by guys left and right.....and be cool with the possibility she may leave you/cheat on you if something better comes along?

No, but I don't date supermodels or anything like that. That said, if the chick was good looking enough and cool enough, i would take the risk and date her long term. Compromising on looks by going way below what I look for will never happen. my last gf had plenty of suitors, and I even told her this and was fine w/ it...actually I said it reflects well upon her.

I would like to think that I have accepted for people for who they are which is imperfect and usually selfish. Cheating isn't a good thing or a bad thing , but it can turn a good thing into a bad thing. If this is ones prerogative, that is your business. The point I have been trying to make is that there is already enough unhappiness and crap from 'low quality people' in the context of relationships and would like to think the essence of what we try and teach guys here is to enhance, not worsen people's lives.

call me a white knight or whatever. I pull plenty and can live with this brand

 

[JdelaSilviera]

For a long-term relationship, would you guys compromise on looks by dating a less attractive woman (and I am talking very average/plain jane here, not even cute HB6-8) if it meant that she would not receive as much attention from other males, thus less prone to cheat.....


Of topic but this isn´t true...

Average and ugly girls, are much much much more likely to cheat than super attractive women. How do I know this, by experience and by reasoning.

All the super hot girls I´ve known are super picky had one or two at most boyfriends, and had a not so serious relationship with a couple of more, these kind of girls had about 4 men in their lives by the age of 25.

These girls only will date high quality guys, guys with lots of friends, very socially calibrated, very good looking and with game.

For ugly ones basically anything goes.... they can fvck guys from 1 to 10....and you know guys that are a 10 don´t have problem fvcking monsters... so they will be terribly more likely to cheat, that an high quality women that only goes from 9+.

Also most guys can only stare at gorgeous women....they don´t have the balls to approach...

 

[MurdocNiccals]

Because it is?

Because we get jealous when our girlfriends give themselves to another man when they are meant to be OURS. Vice versa too. I wouldn't want another guy to be tapping her sweet sweet *****, that's just for me.

It's different if you are friends with benefits, but when you enter a relationship you are sort of commiting to each other. You are giving yourself fully to the other person.

 

[handle]

This is some gay thing right here. This is a mans forum, respect the views of other men you damn *****s.



Synergy, tizzle, handle

Where are you guys in this thread?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=180391

Go on and tell him that cheating is wrong. Tell him what he should do in that case.

Cheating is wrong, he should get rid of her. Obvious.
I respect other people's opinions and I'm offering mine up too. My opinion is that you break the thing off. Why stay in an imperfect relationship?

 

[FutureSpartan]

I know this thread died down a little while ago.....but I wanted to put in my last 2 cents and get some final opinions....

Ultimately, I still believe most guys would stray given the opportunity. Why is it that wealthy, famous, and/or extremely handsome men are the ones most likely to be unfaithful?

As evidenced by the existence of SoSuave and 100s of other PUA sites, most guys have a hard time commanding the attention of even one decent looking woman. It's easy to stay faithful when attractive women aren't throwing themselves at you.

Most girls would also cheat given the opportunity. Its just for them they don't fantasize about f*cking some random dude on the street, usually its someone rich and famous. So if your loving monogamous girl absolutely loves Derek Jeter, and Derek Jeter asked her out for drinks, do you honestly believe she will deny him?

.Not saying that this kind of thing is a common occurance for the majority of women, but neither is a bombshell babe propositioning you for a night of fun a common occurance for most guys

A man's imperative is to spread his seed as far as possible while a woman's is to secure the most valuable genes for her offspring.

Just wanted to state my opinion, even though its controversial. Ultimately, the decision is a personal one, as many of you mentioned earlier. Do whatever makes you happy

 

[Groovy]

My opinion right now is this...

If you want to be loyal but cheat because you were so hard because of that fine ass blond... And then you regret it.... YOU SUCK. If you think it's better to be loyal, be it. Keep reading...

If you have an relationship with a girl where you guys are both serious about each other, and you agreed on being exclusive or something, then DON'T cheat on her, you sun of a gun. If you do at least call her before to break up or whateva.

So basically you must let your intentions known to the girl you're seeing, do you agree? I hope I explained myself clearly.

Me being 19 I want to get the hell away from "serious relationships" lol. Unless I find a really really good girl... I think like this: I am a MAN, I want what is great for me, in my life! : D I want to have fun, we all do, so I ask... What is wrong with that? Girls = Fun. More girls = More fun. I'm digging the concept of being with lots of girls at one time right now. (Although I am currently not with any but even so it don't matter). And if a girl I was having sex from time to time, were to hook up with another dude for 1 night, I. could. care. less...

I propose it's considered bad because of female insecurity, they could think: If he sees other girls then that's the end of it for me, or he will stop liking me... Something stupid like that haha. It could be other things, tho. I think it was Daniel Rose in the sex method book that said: "Explain to her you can have lots of women but still care for her". Great thinking IMO!

So basically: You agree somehow to be exclusive with one girl, but cheat: Bad. Breaking your word (not masculine at all, denotes weakness IMO) and being manipulated by your emotions perhaps, or even forgetting what you said... Don't go there. You aren't serious with one girl, like FB or something: Cool. Make sure you are able to explain to her everything in a fashionable manner. It IS possible!! Think about it... It's kinda of a high status behavior in a way, because you are with lots of girls, that makes you HOT, man, I tell you, hehe.

I am pretty sure I got this well thought out, but who knows, that is also why I posted it... comments\critics are always welcome, especially from pros like many ppl on this site are, I am all ears.

PS: I haven't read the thread at all, just title, will do later tho, it seems like a good one.

 

[handle]

I'm not disagreeing with any arguments like "it's natural to want to **** other women." All I'm saying is this:

IF you are in a relationship where one of the rules is you don't sleep with other people

AND you sleep with someone else

THEN you have broken the rules

It's a bad thing to do in the same way that letting down a friend on a promise is. It isn't because the act of having sex with lots of different women is wrong, it's just wrong to break a rule you established and agreed upon with another human being. I don't think any of us believe that breaking promises is an esteemed "trait of a man". Again, if you have an open relationship obviously this is not a problem. Nothing wrong with banging women left and right. Lots wrong with being too weak to do it openly.