Why is being a player seen as a good thing?

[captain55]

It cost me a potential relationship with a chick I really thought I liked.... she doesn't trust me and knows im not relationship material. I think we are about to cut our ties ...I played everything right, was as alpha as it could get.

this forum is a lot more applied to guys who want quick hookups, not relationships. but if a chick wants a relationship she does NOT want a player.

her knowing that she had competition to date me did not work to my advantage.

just because a woman is sexually attracted to you does not mean she will sleep with you.

really...if I would of cared less about being alpha.. and was just honest with her about how I felt I would of been better off.

 

[TheException]

but if a chick wants a relationship she does NOT want a player.

*A chick wants to be the one who gets the "player" in a relationship.

You being alpha did not doom you. Either there are other kinks in your armor or the girl is low self esteem. But just because you get rejected by ONE WOMAN, doesnt mean you throw everything you learn under the bus. Reread your post......its whiny and wishy washy....its truly tough to see the "alpha" that you speak of.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Not sure where being a player is seen as a good thing, maybe in the locker room of your gym or the club but definitely not among respectable people.

Being a strong modern women is also seen as a good thing among leftists, manginas and in the academic world but no respectable man with a balanced mind and life will ever consider anything remotely serious with such woman.

We can bvllsh1t each other as much as we want but what works for a successful relationship now its exactly what what our parents and grand parents wanted, a good manly man and a feminine good woman.
You wont see man with options dealing with "modern independant women" as much as you wont see respectable women giving themselves to players and such.

By respectable I mean people of value which live their lifes according to what they believe is right rather than what is more satisfactory in that particular moment and have personal value as much as social one.
A wealthy empty man and a hot woman with a messed up morale and mind are not people of high value despite they may look like.

Pay attention not to confuse good man with nice guy.

 

[PlayHer Man]

If you have oneitis or you pedestalize women in any way you are no "alpha". Lets just make sure we clear that up. :crackup:

Being relationship material these days means being a pandering beta who is willing to live on a woman's terms and put her best interests before his own.

This is not to say only beta faggots are in relationships.. but this is what a woman pictures in her mind when she thinks about a man who is "relationship material" --> A man that will SERVE HER.

You just need to decide what is more important to you.. having your dignity or having the fleeting love of a woman. :yes:

 

[Mr Wright]

Evolution dictates that players do not make good fathers because chances they are impregnating multiple women, thus their food resources are being spread over 2-3 families or they are not providing at all.

A man who sticks around is valuable to a woman which is why they place so much emphasis on monogamy. However, she will probably go and fvck the player and harvest his sperm and have the other guy raise the child.

The man a woman marries is usually not the best man out there but the one that is most likely to stick around.

Let that message sink in, women need security first before they go searching for anything else.

As Playher Man said, a "relationship material" is just code for a guy who wont cheat on her because he can't.

I look back on the dynamics of my previous relationship, at the start, I was sooooo beta to the point where it was cringe. Somehow I managed to stick in there but by the last 6 months, I was in total control of the relationship because she knew I could leave whenever I wanted to and then she picked up her game. She started cooking for me more, trying to show me what a good girlfriend she was, she started to "fvck like she wanted to stay on the team", she even vocalised about how worried she was about me leaving. Bare in mind a year earlier it was pretty much the other way around and she noticed the change and responded to it.

 

[LP700-4]

It cost me a potential relationship with a chick I really thought I liked.... she doesn't trust me and knows im not relationship material. I think we are about to cut our ties ...I played everything right, was as alpha as it could get.

this forum is a lot more applied to guys who want quick hookups, not relationships. but if a chick wants a relationship she does NOT want a player.

her knowing that she had competition to date me did not work to my advantage.

just because a woman is sexually attracted to you does not mean she will sleep with you.

really...if I would of cared less about being alpha.. and was just honest with her about how I felt I would of been better off.

She was trying to bait you into commitment. Trying to get you to tell her she's your "one and only". Once she has you in the palm of her hands, the emasculation process has begun. Soon, she'll be dictating who you can talk, whom you can see, where you can see them and when. If she doesn't like one of your friends because "he's a player", you can forget about him too. She'll make you lose contact with any girl that you speak to. Once she has severed all your connections, she will use you for her every whim.

After a while, she will get tired of bossing you around and want a REAL man to handle her so she will start to get angry at you for no reason. Your descent into AFC hell will get deeper and deeper. You will keep doing nice things for her but wonder why your precious princess only gets angrier and never appreciates you. On the side, she might meet someone else and start f**king him behind your back. Eventually, she will muster up the courage to break up with you. She might not be sure of it but she will do it anyway. You will beg and cry and moan like a little child but that will only reinforce and confirm to her that she did the right thing.

If she has already been through her slvt phase and her beauty department is starting to wane down, she will choose to settle and get married because she knows that the AFC behavior from you will keep her feeling secure and she will have a good dog on a leash to do anything she wants.

Frankly, I think you didn't just dodge a bullet with this chick. You dodged a missile. Be very glad.

 

[captain55]

She was trying to bait you into commitment. Trying to get you to tell her she's your "one and only". Once she has you in the palm of her hands, the emasculation process has begun. Soon, she'll be dictating who you can talk, whom you can see, where you can see them and when. If she doesn't like one of your friends because "he's a player", you can forget about him too. She'll make you lose contact with any girl that you speak to. Once she has severed all your connections, she will use you for her every whim.

After a while, she will get tired of bossing you around and want a REAL man to handle her so she will start to get angry at you for no reason. Your descent into AFC hell will get deeper and deeper. You will keep doing nice things for her but wonder why your precious princess only gets angrier and never appreciates you. On the side, she might meet someone else and start f**king him behind your back. Eventually, she will muster up the courage to break up with you. She might not be sure of it but she will do it anyway. You will beg and cry and moan like a little child but that will only reinforce and confirm to her that she did the right thing.

If she has already been through her slvt phase and her beauty department is starting to wane down, she will choose to settle and get married because she knows that the AFC behavior from you will keep her feeling secure and she will have a good dog on a leash to do anything she wants.

Frankly, I think you didn't just dodge a bullet with this chick. You dodged a missile. Be very glad.

Im going to explain the situation in detail. we live 2 hours away from each other.

After the most recent time we were together after about a week of no contact about a week later she sent me a text with a picture of herself saying "I miss you".
I waited 24 hours to respond and she said "prove it"
her response to me immediately was ..."how"
me "come see me"
her "I don't think you understand the severity of it. I am broke and had to file for unemployment it sucks I made 20 dollars yesterday. I understand if you don't want to come back its not fair but I just don't have the money to take a three hour trip to see you right now. You always make me feel bad about things I cant control"

a couple more of her texts throughout the past couple days of various conversations
" I know but I don't feel like Im good enough"
" I do miss you but I feel like a player and I shouldn't. Im conflicted with you"

....the two bold texts just do not correspond.

I regret getting involved with a chick so far away, it makes everything 50 times harder.... No matter what I say, if I go see her again its showing her that she has me wrapped around her finger and she will probably not respect me......and she cant afford to see me. it was just a dead end street and im surprised I couldn't see it.

 

[VikingKing]

Because being a whorve is easy, all you have to do is be alive and have a vagina. Being a player takes more effort, you have to have value and actually do some work.

 

[Trump]

It cost me a potential relationship with a chick I really thought I liked.... she doesn't trust me and knows im not relationship material. I think we are about to cut our ties ...I played everything right, was as alpha as it could get.

this forum is a lot more applied to guys who want quick hookups, not relationships. but if a chick wants a relationship she does NOT want a player.

her knowing that she had competition to date me did not work to my advantage.

just because a woman is sexually attracted to you does not mean she will sleep with you.

really...if I would of cared less about being alpha.. and was just honest with her about how I felt I would of been better off.

Weird have you say she had competition from other girls, and then you think like this.

When she says "she doesn't trust you and you are not relationship material", she is protecting herself and image. She doesn't care about you, she cares about her image. She doesn't want to compete with the other girls in case you don't pick her because it will damage her reputation. (I am this good and this guy still isn't obsessed with me, I'll blame him and dump him to keep my pride and protect myself)

But bro, if you seriously wanted a relationship with this girl that you love, why are you flirting with other girls. This girl you love didn't get the idea you are a player because you are studying all weekend.

 

[jglide123]

It cost me a potential relationship with a chick I really thought I liked.... she doesn't trust me and knows im not relationship material. I think we are about to cut our ties ...I played everything right, was as alpha as it could get.

this forum is a lot more applied to guys who want quick hookups, not relationships. but if a chick wants a relationship she does NOT want a player.

her knowing that she had competition to date me did not work to my advantage.

just because a woman is sexually attracted to you does not mean she will sleep with you.

really...if I would of cared less about being alpha.. and was just honest with her about how I felt I would of been better off.

You definitely have to be careful with the advice you read on here; I cringe when I read some of the sexist posts some guys create. You should keep in mind that many guys have been severely hurt by women, and they see them as nothing more than sex objects, hence the player mentality. Some people see relationships as nothing more than a game, and they come here to learn better strategies to outmaneuver the "competition."

Just like bitter women will often say things such as "All men are dogs," bitter men will tell you things such as women can't be trusted, spin more plates, never show your feelings, etc. All are really unhealthy approaches to relationships.

As with anything, use a filter when reading the information on this site. There is both good and bad advice on this site, and it is up to you to decide what is right for you.....

 

[captain55]

Its not so much that I cant have her that bothers me,its the fact that I WANTED TO BE THE ONE WHO BROKE IT OFF.

I just wish I could go back in time...and walk away from her while she was into me.

 

[captain55]

You definitely have to be careful with the advice you read on here; I cringe when I read some of the sexist posts some guys create. You should keep in mind that many guys have been severely hurt by women, and they see them as nothing more than sex objects, hence the player mentality. Some people see relationships as nothing more than a game, and they come here to learn better strategies to outmaneuver the "competition."

Just like bitter women will often say things such as "All men are dogs," bitter men will tell you things such as women can't be trusted, spin more plates, never show your feelings, etc. All are really unhealthy approaches to relationships.

As with anything, use a filter when reading the information on this site. There is both good and bad advice on this site, and it is up to you to decide what is right for you.....

last time we hung out, she had her top off in my car while I was making out with her and my phone went off on vibrate. she grabs the phone and sees a picture of some blonde chick in my contacts with a text "when are you coming? "

after that she told me to take her home.

 

[VikingKing]

Act like you did nothing wrong. Don't apologize.

 

[captain55]

Weird have you say she had competition from other girls, and then you think like this.

When she says "she doesn't trust you and you are not relationship material", she is protecting herself and image. She doesn't care about you, she cares about her image. She doesn't want to compete with the other girls in case you don't pick her because it will damage her reputation. (I am this good and this guy still isn't obsessed with me, I'll blame him and dump him to keep my pride and protect myself)

But bro, if you seriously wanted a relationship with this girl that you love, why are you flirting with other girls. This girl you love didn't get the idea you are a player because you are studying all weekend.

That's the thing Im trying to figure out myself.
why do I feel like I really liked her now that she doesn't want me?
why was I on pof and going on dates with other women while she was into me?

 

[captain55]

oh snap she just texted me.....after not talking to me in four days. 15 minutes after I make this thread are you kidding me? **** it im going to let you guys handle this for me...

her text was

"one question, why do you talk to me so rudely?"

is this a trap? has she already made up her mind she doesn't want anything to do with me and just wants to see how badly I will melt down trying to get her?

 

[XMinister]

I think the real question is, why would anyone see being a player as a bad thing?

Captain55 If it were me, I wouldn't reply to this. This is definitely bait. She's aggravated and wants to pull you into it. Let it rock for now. If she really didn't want anything to do with you, she wouldn't have even said that. Don't respond for now and see what her next move is.

 

[LP700-4]

oh snap she just texted me.....after not talking to me in four days. 15 minutes after I make this thread are you kidding me? **** it im going to let you guys handle this for me...

her text was

"one question, why do you talk to me so rudely?"

is this a trap? has she already made up her mind she doesn't want anything to do with me and just wants to see how badly I will melt down trying to get her?

Definitely a trap. Don't respond. Let her mind run in circles and we will see what she texts you.

 

[bukowski_merit]

To the original topic - I've never had a woman accuse me of being a player even though I probably am closer to one than most guys. What I get all the time is that they can tell I'm good with women.

I defintely prefer that over "you seem like a player."

I think the difference is discretion and lack of game playing. Women don't feel like I'm a liar or game player...

oh snap she just texted me.....after not talking to me in four days. 15 minutes after I make this thread are you kidding me? **** it im going to let you guys handle this for me...

her text was

"one question, why do you talk to me so rudely?"

is this a trap? has she already made up her mind she doesn't want anything to do with me and just wants to see how badly I will melt down trying to get her?

One question, why is she asking this? Did you blow up after letting stuff build up inside or something?

Do you talk down to her on a regular bases? Or is she just pulling this out of her @ss?

The #1 worst thing you can do to that text is engage it in a logical way. "I don't always talk down to rudely," would be grade A trash. I'd say, "why don't you come over so we can talk about it." And then if she agreed - when she got to my place - we would not talk about it; we'd just have a good time (I've done this many times in my life; the woman may try to actually talk to you about it; but in person - if you know what you're doing - she'll forget about all that.)


The fact she's sitting there for 4 days thinking about this stuff says she's still invested. But, this sounds like a bad situation. As others have said - she's trying to tame you; the catch right now is - if you let her tame you - she won't want you. IF you don't let her tame you - she's gone eventually.

That's normal...


That's normal!



It's very hard to keep a woman in rotation for long without letting her take a piece of you. And if she can't get a piece of you - she'll normally eject. This is why spinning plates is required for most men; so situations like this don't happen. This is why being good with women is lonely business.

 

[captain55]

To the original topic - I've never had a woman accuse me of being a player even though I probably am closer to one than most guys. What I get all the time is that they can tell I'm good with women.

I defintely prefer that over "you seem like a player."

I think the difference is discretion and lack of game playing. Women don't feel like I'm a liar or game player...




One question, why is she asking this? Did you blow up after letting stuff build up inside or something?

Do you talk down to her on a regular bases? Or is she just pulling this out of her @ss?

The #1 worst thing you can do to that text is engage it in a logical way. "I don't always talk down to rudely," would be grade A trash. I'd say, "why don't you come over so we can talk about it." And then if she agreed - when she got to my place - we would not talk about it; we'd just have a good time (I've done this many times in my life; the woman may try to actually talk to you about it; but in person - if you know what you're doing - she'll forget about all that.)


The fact she's sitting there for 4 days thinking about this stuff says she's still invested. But, this sounds like a bad situation. As others have said - she's trying to tame you; the catch right now is - if you let her tame you - she won't want you. IF you don't let her tame you - she's gone eventually.

That's normal...


That's normal!



It's very hard to keep a woman in rotation for long without letting her take a piece of you. And if she can't get a piece of you - she'll normally eject. This is why spinning plates is required for most men; so situations like this don't happen. This is why being good with women is lonely business.

my last text to her was a hail marry to rescue myself by acting like I thought the reason she wasn't responding to me was because she was sleeping and not because she didn't wanna talk to me. I texted her...
"will you please wake your mother****ing ass up?"

sure enough it got a response.

am I dealing with a chick who likes abuse?

and yes I talk to her like this all the time, I've called her a slut and a ***** a couple times before indirectly. before the first date I told her "you know Im gonna think your a ****ing ***** if you don't go out with me after you initiated contact with me and acted so interested, to lose interest so suddenly"

the next text was "Im not going to put up with this or you talking to me like this"

sure enough next day I texted her telling her I would like to make it up to her and it GOT ME ON A DATE WITH HER....and we hooked up. litereally 12 hours after I called her a POF *****. so as unorthodox as my methods are, it worked with this one at first. I DONT think she would of gone out with me had I not called her a ***** prior to that first date...she had lost interest by then.

as you can see this is not a normal chick.

 

[captain55]

and guys of course, if there is absolutely no way im getting her back...I would like to win on top. perhaps I should end this with a nice "**** you slut " and send a nude picture of a chick in my room who's hotter than her?