Why does it seem like women bring only negativity and pain to my life?

[DJDeMarco]

Why does it seem like women bring only negativity and pain to my life?
I've been trying cold approach, social circle, meeting women, etc.. for a few years and for the most part, only bad and negative things have come from it.

Feeling anxiety, nervousness, depressed/trapped not knowing how to make this thing click when it comes to women, finding out people think I'm creepy,bad stuff. The only positive of meeting women is before it happens when I have the hope that it will turn around with this one time...and I really believe I can make it happen..then bam, failure again and back to square one. Focus on other things and hobbies that make me happy. Try women again with a lot of optimism and fail again. I've done this several times.

Outside of women, I work on improving myself and having a fun good life with lots of activities and hobbies, and I usually succeed. But once women enter the picture, nothing but pain and rejection. I'm very competitive and hate to lose, but I'm losing a lot with women. Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier without them in my life period, like it used to be before I first got laid.

With women, I usually go for the girls I want, but I don't attract them and sometimes get too nervous and try to fight through my negativity while talking with them. It usually isn't fun talking to women.

I'm trying to work on feeling comfortable talking to women. When I talk to men, my mind flows freely. When I talk to women, my mind freezes up, and it's harder for me to think of things to say. I do have conversations with women, but it's a struggle and I have trouble having fun and being myself.

So why can't women be a fun positive addition to my life? What can I do to slowly start making that happen?

 

[usernamedox11]

What exactly is the problem? Have you been denied every single time? If that's the case, you should focus more on how you look and dress. A girl will excuse a guy for being nervous if she finds the guy attractive/cute.

When you talk to girls, try not having any expectations and maybe that will help relax you. Probably not of much help to you. It's sounds like some type of social anxiety you have and sometimes that can take some work to overcome.

 

[MountainSlide]

Women can sense it when you are focusing on yourself and not on them. It is obvious from your tone of voice, body language, and where you are looking. So when you walk into a conversation and the only thing you are thinking of is "she's going to reject me", or "how will she think if i say this" or whatever; You will have zero charm. In the middle of the conversation when you start frowning for no reason because you had a negative thought. People can see this **** I kid you not. When I approach a women I don't give a ****, actually I approach them and think of how I am going to tease them in order to entertain myself. Then that causes me to smile cause I think of the funny things I'm going to say. Then I go and say them. The first thought on my mind isn't "how am I going to close" it is "how am I going to have a fun and interesting conversation".

 

[DJDeMarco]

What exactly is the problem? Have you been denied every single time? If that's the case, you should focus more on how you look and dress. A girl will excuse a guy for being nervous if she finds the guy attractive/cute.

When you talk to girls, try not having any expectations and maybe that will help relax you. Probably not of much help to you. It's sounds like some type of social anxiety you have and sometimes that can take some work to overcome.

I think some of it could be my looks. I'm short and stocky but not fat. I'm in good shape and work out regularly, but that doesn't help much. I dress well and have good hygiene. I'm bald and wear glasses but that doesn't bother me. With the type of women I want, young cute women, yes, I get rejected all the time. I send these type of women Facebook requests but they don't add me. Seems like no one wants me. I don't know how men find women they just click with, never happens with me.

Sounds like I need to not be concerned with what people think of me or if they think I'm creepy or socially awkward.

 

[backbreaker]

Women can sense it when you are focusing on yourself and not on them. It is obvious from your tone of voice, body language, and where you are looking. So when you walk into a conversation and the only thing you are thinking of is "she's going to reject me", or "how will she think if i say this" or whatever; You will have zero charm. In the middle of the conversation when you start frowning for no reason because you had a negative thought. People can see this **** I kid you not. When I approach a women I don't give a ****, actually I approach them and think of how I am going to tease them in order to entertain myself. Then that causes me to smile cause I think of the funny things I'm going to say. Then I go and say them. The first thought on my mind isn't "how am I going to close" it is "how am I going to have a fun and interesting conversation".

this is so much bull****.


i hate when guys give women other wordly powers that they do not possess. no a woman can't tell if "you're focused on them or on yourself". if htat is the case players wouldn't be able to play, rapey guys would not get girls to do stupid ****.



pm me a pic of you op let me see what you're working with



you sound like a white version of me lol. i'm in really good shape but i have tow ork HARD at it. i am blind as a bat as well and have storng glasses but i never wear them i wear contacts. i don't care how intelligent / smart glasses make you look, ditch them and get contacts.


what does your diet look like? i work in front of my pc all day i have to count eveyr cal i eat on a daily basis.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I think some of it could be my looks. I'm short and stocky but not fat. I'm in good shape and work out regularly, but that doesn't help much. I dress well and have good hygiene. I'm bald and wear glasses but that doesn't bother me. With the type of women I want, young cute women, yes, I get rejected all the time. I send these type of women Facebook requests but they don't add me. Seems like no one wants me. I don't know how men find women they just click with, never happens with me.

Sounds like I need to not be concerned with what people think of me or if they think I'm creepy or socially awkward.

When you go out to meet girls make it a celebration man. Wear the best clothes you can wear. Go buy things you are excited to wear, take pride in your appearance, accessorize... women love a man that pays attention to his appearance. Even if you are not the best looking guy if you dress well women will want to be around you.

Go to gatherings that are a little more formal. When women go out they go out in part to show off their appearance, join them in that. Wear stuff you will be proud to wear so you feel good when people see you.

When I go out I like to be doing something besides just trying to pick up. Go to nice places, talk to PEOPLE not just women. In nicer places women are friendlier and more approachable.

Get a cool night job, DJ or bartender maybe?

You can do this man, but it's not going to be with casual effort. Men that bang many decent women put alot of effort into it.

 

[YAboi]

visit www.stoplosingwomen.com and then download and listen to the podcasts. Your life will never be the same again.

 

[Ruleit]

I think some of it could be my looks. I'm short and stocky but not fat.

In some previous thread you wrote you were 5'9. That's not short. I'm 5'7 and NEVER let it stop me when I was single. Sure, didn't get every girl I wanted but I had a damned good share of the pie.

I'm in good shape and work out regularly, but that doesn't help much.

Imagine how much less it would help if you didn't.

I'm bald and wear glasses but that doesn't bother me.

Well it seems to bother the women you're approaching. Lose the glasses. As for the bald bit... I call bullsh!t on that. When I shaved my head I was worried about that too. The day I did it was the best day of my life. I have more chicks giving me the eye day to day than I ever had when I was a long-haired yuppie tool.

It's all in your attitude and body language. Start strutting and acting like a rooster among the hens. It makes a ton of difference. You also need to overdose on self-confidence.

With the type of women I want, young cute women, yes, I get rejected all the time. I send these type of women Facebook requests but they don't add me.

WTF are you doing playing in the pig pen?!!! FB/social media/virtual reality were built for AW's who are living the fantasy of having GQ men hitting on them.

Get offline and enter the real world. Hit on anything that moves and look forward to the rejection while you calibrate your game after each minor success.

And stay away from hired guns (shop assistants / waitresses etc) They make their LIVING by sucking up to nice guys for tips.

Seems like no one wants me.

Boohoo. Cut the pity party girly crap. Men get rejected, and rejected, and rejected. We suck it up. We learn from our mistakes. We adapt. Start out with 5's then move on to 6's and upgrade as you progress.

I don't know how men find women they just click with, never happens with me.

Few men (90%) are naturals or blessed with good looks and have girls pick them up. The rest fight their way out of the dumpster like you need to do.

Sounds like I need to not be concerned with what people think of me

Yup, unless they think:

they think I'm creepy or socially awkward.

Then you need to find out what mistakes you're making and correct them.

No one said this was going to be easy. It takes work and a fvcking thick skin.

Think of this as a marketing exercise for a new candy-bar product.

That candy-bar is you. If your packaging sucks you need to change the packaging until people start buying you. It doesn't matter what YOU think of how "hot" you are, how "good" you are etc. It does matter what you look like and that you are ATTRACTIVE to your target audience.

If you find people are buying "you" but then disposing of you after the first bite then you need to figure out what is wrong with your "taste." And so on and so on.

This is a LONG and painful process. If you give up on this you give up on living.

Let me give you an example: At 16 I was a chubby, short sh1t (5'7), goggle eyed, never been kissed chump. I didn't have the resources you have here! There was no internet at that time.

- I knew I had to lose weight... so I went on diet and joined a gym.
- I knew chicks didn't dig glasses... so I got contacts (and boosted my self-esteem)
- I knew chicks didn't dig me... so I messed up and got myself into a lot of LJBF situations... however, I occasionally had a bright spark moment and figured out what they really wanted. I listened in on their BS talk and had to learn the hard way what they really meant.
- I knew that if I didn't approach them... they would NEVER approach me. So I approached and approached and approached while my balls turned blue.
- Eventually I got better and better...

And it took me a whole FVcking THREE years before I lost my virginity.

After that it was off to the races.

You have a sh1t load of resources here on this forum. You've been a member here for over a year and you've done sweet fvck-all for yourself.

Pu$$y isn't just handed to guys like us. You have to work your a$$ off to get it.

 

[Ruleit]

double post

 

[Stagger Lee]

this is so much bull****.


i hate when guys give women other wordly powers that they do not possess. no a woman can't tell if "you're focused on them or on yourself". if htat is the case players wouldn't be able to play, rapey guys would not get girls to do stupid ****.



pm me a pic of you op let me see what you're working with



you sound like a white version of me lol. i'm in really good shape but i have tow ork HARD at it. i am blind as a bat as well and have storng glasses but i never wear them i wear contacts. i don't care how intelligent / smart glasses make you look, ditch them and get contacts.


what does your diet look like? i work in front of my pc all day i have to count eveyr cal i eat on a daily basis.

Totally agree. Women don't know jack sh!t what's going on in a man's mind. They're not mind readers. Women simply focus on every aspect of mens' appearance and draw all kinds of conclusions mostly subjective and erroneous.

OP, I knew before you mentioned your looks that it was your appearance. Women are negative and painful toward men who they are not attracted to. And attraction is mostly dependent on appearance. Being short and balding are about the two greatest attraction and game killers. I'd put balding at number 1. At least if you are short and built, you can roll up on a shorter girl and be a little taller than her and have a chance even if she still would prefer a taller guy. I see shorter guys (with hair and some looks) do pretty well all the time.

If you are balding, it doesn't matter if you are 6'3 it's rejection city. Unless you're one of 1 out of 100 or maybe 1 out of a 1000 guys that is good looking other wise and look good shaved, balding is a game killer, I don't care what anyone says.

I remember seeing a young but short and balding white guy approaching girls at the club with all kinds of positivity and balls. I never seen so many girls laughing at a guy and patronizing. He might as well been a 11 year old boy for how the females seen him. There's a reason looking like George Constanza is a stereotype.

10 post rule fun:

How do you guys explain Neil Strauss then? He's bald.

Since when did you believe PUAs claims? He's been explained before. He was a professional journalist and storyteller before he wrote PUA storytells. I don't have any good reason to believe he attracts women, but if he does I'd explain it
like I did above. He's one of the few bald guys that look good with a clean shaven head. Not every guy with hair loss will look any better clean shaven chrome dome.

Also, I agree that if you are bald, you have to own it. Whoever you are, whatever you are, you should own it. A guy I know who has one of the prettiest wives I can think of is bald.

How do you own it, by shaving your head clean? I consider that hiding it, because a man with normal hair could clean shave it off. If you have an attractive face and still looking good cleanly shaven then doing that sometimes work. But if women really accepted hairloss or balding, why does it always seem like the only few examples of men with hairloss seeming to do okay with women are cleanly shaven? Shaving your head sounds like a lot of bother and what about any gray stubble?

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah a 5'8" or even possibly 5'7" guy with a full head of hair will generally beat a 5'11" balding guy in the field, all else being equal.

 

[Trump]

visit www.stoplosingwomen.com and then download and listen to the podcasts. Your life will never be the same again.

Perhaps its helpful, but I don't like sites likes this.

"Stop Losing Women" already assumes guys have no problem getting a women. And if they have no problem getting the women, all they have to do is maintain what they did to get them. There is NOTHING else they have to do. If she is going to go because there is a taller, sexier, more adventurous type of guy, she is gonna go. You start the pity act or begging that you want her to stay, she will CRUSH you into the ground.

"Stop losing women" also means they have already been given the power. You have already given them tons of credit for just being born with the XX chromosome. Kind of ridiculous.

 

[backbreaker]

i have a white guy client who is what.. 41 or so give or take, and he's bald. but he works out everyday and he's a good looking dude. Has no probglem pulling. we were in starbucks last week and i caught a pretty attractive woman checking him out. he did too lol.


go bald. embrace that ****


it's not hte bald that kills you it's the fat and bald

 

[usernamedox11]

By short, how short? Anything 5'8 and up is fine as far as getting girls, but being stocky can make you look shorter than you really are. Balding is a HUGE attraction killer. I would grow out some facial hair and just shave my head if I were you and try and to get ripped. Go for that type of look and it should help you immensely.

 

[zekko]

How do you guys explain Neil Strauss then? He's bald.

Also, I agree that if you are bald, you have to own it. Whoever you are, whatever you are, you should own it. A guy I know who has one of the prettiest wives I can think of is bald.

 

[DJDeMarco]

I'm 5'9 and I'm working on this new mentality of having fun talking with people and not caring what others think, men and women alike. I made my day very productive today. Went to the gym, lifted weights and did cardio. Talked to men there and a woman as well. All that went fine. Applied for better jobs online. I work at a grocery store, so I'm constantly in a social state of mind there. Things went better there too.
I just have to keep it up and not stay down when things seem hopeless.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

@Trump: Sorry if the naming of my site is giving off the impression that it's only for guys who can currently GET women. If you've listened to my podcast or downloaded my eBook, you'll see that the intent of the site is to help guys avoid losing the women within various scenarios. So, whether they're talking to a girl for the first time or have been together with her for years, there are many instances in which a man can lose women. He can lose them before he even gets a chance to date them by saying/doing/acting in the wrong way. He can lose them after having been with them for 10, 20, 50 years or more. So, the site isn't just about maintenance for guys that already have women - it's for guys to learn how to avoid making mistakes that can cause them to lose a woman's interest at ANY stage.

Hope this clears up the confusion!

 

[asa_don]

visit www.stoplosingwomen.com and then download and listen to the podcasts. Your life will never be the same again.

these cheap advertisements of yours are really getting old, read the forum rules, no advertising allowed.

* Advertising is not allowed. You may, however, post useful advice and include a link to your site in your signature file.

is harry wilmington paying you to spam this forum to advertise his site? are you guys that hard up for visitors on your small time site that you have to spam a link to it in every thread you post in? forum rules says you're not supposed to be advertising, you, rex, and harry do it every chance you get.

 

[Pardner]

Why does it seem like women bring only negativity and pain to my life?

Because you're allowing them and yourself to bring pain and negativity to your life. Your entire focus is only on women about how terrible you feel around them. Focus on YOU and make women SECOND. Just walk up to random women and talk to them with no pressure to get a number. The more you talk the less nervous you will become until you can start getting numbers that will lead to dating. Join some groups where you can interact with both men and women you will feel better with a group around you instead of being solo..

 

[asa_don]

Why does it seem like women bring only negativity and pain to my life?
I've been trying cold approach, social circle, meeting women, etc.. for a few years and for the most part, only bad and negative things have come from it.

Feeling anxiety, nervousness, depressed/trapped not knowing how to make this thing click when it comes to women, finding out people think I'm creepy,bad stuff. The only positive of meeting women is before it happens when I have the hope that it will turn around with this one time...and I really believe I can make it happen..then bam, failure again and back to square one. Focus on other things and hobbies that make me happy. Try women again with a lot of optimism and fail again. I've done this several times.

Outside of women, I work on improving myself and having a fun good life with lots of activities and hobbies, and I usually succeed. But once women enter the picture, nothing but pain and rejection. I'm very competitive and hate to lose, but I'm losing a lot with women. Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier without them in my life period, like it used to be before I first got laid.

With women, I usually go for the girls I want, but I don't attract them and sometimes get too nervous and try to fight through my negativity while talking with them. It usually isn't fun talking to women.

I'm trying to work on feeling comfortable talking to women. When I talk to men, my mind flows freely. When I talk to women, my mind freezes up, and it's harder for me to think of things to say. I do have conversations with women, but it's a struggle and I have trouble having fun and being myself.

So why can't women be a fun positive addition to my life? What can I do to slowly start making that happen?

keep talking to them, your nervousness will go away when you gain some confidence.